Kacper POV

You know dying isn’t what it is made out to be. I didn’t feel a sense of peace just desperation because come on! I survived a goblin chieftain, escaped a man-eating mermaid and with a twisted ankle killed a squad of armed goblins. I was just… uh fuck. I got a quick look at him a pale face with raven like hair I think the worst thing was how his face was passive, like if killing people was normal for him. I mean I love killing goblins because most of them are assholes and they deserve it but what did I do wrong? The last thing I saw as he jumped onto me was a shadow and a glinting axe, but I have to give him credit for doing it Assassin Creed style, however my execution was a bit sloppy with his axe. Funny I haven’t lived even one month, and I am already dead. What are the chances? Probably pretty high now that I think about it.

I probably should be panicking more after all he is butchering my body. Wait how am I seeing this? Is this going to be a Deus Ex Machina, and will I be put on a path to being the hero? I fucking hope not I would rather spend eternity in a void then live like my pussy original.

I look back down at the asshole chopping up my body. I scream as I see him ripping my tongue out. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking psycho!” I desperately try and grab at his throat trying to chock the life out of him however I can’t as I try and move my non-existent limbs. After a while of useless screaming and trying to kill him I give up and just watch the horror show. You know watching a guy cut out your organs with a worker’s tool is quite messy and it actually isn’t that bad. Who am I kidding I would be releasing my lunch of kebab rats onto the floor. It stopped being so horrifying once I couldn’t recognize my own face, I just hope he isn’t a cannibal watching my body being eaten would drive me crazy. With that cheery thought I start looking around. The forest and the forest floor is exactly the same as before I died except there are more bodies and a lot more blood.

I stare at the dead goblins what was the point of running from them I should have just charged them I most likely wouldn’t have died from their ranged attacks. Pity I died because I couldn’t keep a cool head. I stare at the corpses and notice a thin wisp leading up into the sky, looking up I see an open door and a hooded figure standing at a ninety-degree angle at me.

With nothing better to do I float up after the tether and arrive in front of the physic defying figure. I look at him excepting him to say something, but I just look at him awkwardly for a good minute. He points his hand at the door. I turn to look at the door and it opens sucking me into a blueish purple void. I try and grab onto anything before I remember I have no arms I decide to just enjoy the ride after I try screaming and swearing, spoilers it also doesn’t work. Wherever I am it’s as if I overdosed on some really shady drugs, I found in a trash can in a sketchy neighbourhood which specifically said take only one every week. Trippy to say the least, the most prominent feature is a swirling, but somehow straight river made of purple strands. The blue void around the river is actually very well lit with floating shapes of light zipping past us. There are others in the river orbs of different colours some look like they are encased in ice others are on fire and some seem to be changing colours like a disco ball. After what seems like an eternity a gloved hand grabs me pulling me out of the string river, thank god listening to their wailing and screaming is annoying seriously get over it. I died and you only see me crying once a day… actually I don’t think time is linear hear I could have been crying for an eternity for all I know.

Whatever the figure is holding me in his hand I try and peer under his cowl but see nothing an endless black void. Looking at me he nods as he starts walking somewhere, I try and voice my disapproval at being handled like some kind of object, but nothing escapes my non-existent mouth. That’s depressing, I wonder if I can open my status, no well that’s just great. I try and look around, but he somehow prevents me from around and the only thing I can see are his white gloved hands dark cloak and hood covering his body.

He walks, walks, walks, walks, walks, walFUCK THIS SHIT ITS BEEN HOURS JUST GET THERE! Trying to tear out my non-existent hair I just try and look around using the edges of my vision as a lens. I am struck speechless as I see angels, dragons, terrifying creatures of flesh and clowns with thousands of shark like teeth. That’s just nightmare fuel they are going to haunt my dreams. How was the clown the least terrifying the angel looked like a human was melted into wax statue and it looked like it was enjoying it, the dragon had eight legs and two wings straight our of an edgy rock album and the flesh creature was actually pretty tame a big ball of flesh with two tentacles. I decide to ignore whatever I see I would rather keep what little bit of sanity I still have.

I started counting to pass the time losing track about seven times before I reach 17000, I feel myself being dropped into a hole where I feel myself falling up? As I shoot up, I see the figure walking away and uncountable horrors, wait a minute why is my grandma there? With no answer to that question I am blasted into the air smashing into something before I fall down onto a grey metallic surface. Thankfully I don’t feel any pain as I get up, wait, what? I look down to see ghostly arms tinted with red, stretching my arm it feels like it doesn’t have any weight. I check out the rest of my body and it is grey covered with a red tint. I seem to be wearing a hoodie with sweatpants and some sneakers with symbols covering them. Some of them I can understand a jagged blade on my right arm, a kiss on my hoodie with two symbols a dice and scythe on my pants. Whatever this shit is starting to get old looking around I say out loud “At least its comfy.”

A hand grabs my shoulder and I let out a definitely not girly scream. I turn around and back away as fast as I can and trip over the edge of the disk. Freakishly long hand grabs me by my hoodie pulling me back onto the disk. I take a good look at the figure he towers over me but gives of an impression of a gentle giant. I stare down at his hand skeletal let me guess he is that skeleton I met at the start. Seeing his face, I am given an impression of anticipation and a bit of fear? Never was good at judging people. Insight skill rank Beginner,really know! Why are you telling me this know? Stupid system. Waving it away I look at him and ask, “If you are here then must want something?” He replies with a voice of an overturned grave “Yes, you are correct I have come to explain a few things, Rameg is just too lazy to do it himself.” Pausing for dramatic effect his voice is like the shutting of an ancient tomb “The game is not over you can return to Erat and try again.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

He doesn’t let me speak and takes out a coin and flips it saying, “The price is one Doorway Coin.”

I look at him and then ask a question “I can’t use the system because I’m dead so how am I supposed to take it out?”

Without losing a beat he answers “That’s very simple just ask nicely and the system will let you come back. The system will respawn you in your last safe location and don’t worry about your experience you won’t lose it any questions?

I nod replying with a million questions “Why am I your champion? Why does your name keep on changing? Where am I? Why was my grandma here? Why is the system lacking features? How do I get more coins?”

If the skeleton could I think he would be blinking in surprise he stands there and shakes his head before replying with the chattering of bones “All our previous champions had made something of themselves on Earth, yet they failed here. We wish to see if a failure like you can make a difference. Second my name changes because I have a million names that are constantly changing due to how people see me. Thirdly you are in your mindscape where you can buy upgrades for the system and it will grow with you as you become stronger. Sorry, about your soul that is my fault and also the reason why your mindscape is so small, it’s been reset to accommodate your volatile soul”

He releases a small chuckle before answering the rest of my questions “Your grandma must have been a powerful magical being to be here, but honestly I have no idea. The system needs to be upgraded using the coins. The coins are given out by the system for doing deeds that have an effect on the world like saving a village or inventing a new class.”

I start jumping up in front of him and waving my hands to get his attention. You know I don’t like being small am I really that insecure about myself? Whatever, I shout “HOW DO I GET A UPGRADE!” Completely ignoring the revelation that my grandma is some kind of all-powerful entity.

Waiting for me to calm down he takes out a box with a holographic projection of a loot box. You have to be fucking with me. It reads place a coin for a random upgrade. Looking up at his bony face I ask, “Who came up with this?”

He answers shrugging “I think it was the Lady. Why?”

“Tell her she can go suck her own dick.” My original had a very strong hate for loot boxes, and I fully agree with him.

We just stand for a minute before he breaks out into a laughter that sounded like a bloated corpse exploding. Giving me a sympathetic smile, he says, “She heard that you know.”

“Good, know let me spin this thing.” Grabbing it I ask the system to activate the stupid thing. A wheel appears in front of me and starts spinning landing on Game Features, the wheel changes with knew words on it but it starts spinning before I can read them. Crossing my fingers, I pray let it be something good please. My hopes are dashed as it passes over kingdom builder and then onto Tutorial AI. Son of a-

Hello my designated number 37,826 and I am your tutorial AI. I will calibrate myself to your actions and personality.

I feel my mind shatter as I get another stupid voice in my head to question my decisions.

Hey, I can here you!

Shut it! I could have gotten a Kingdom Builder feature or a Scanner system, but you just had to be chosen. Why do you have such a girly voice and what’s the point of you being a girl.

I chose the fairer sex due to you're lack of experiance so that you could practice instead putting you foot into your mouth when you talk to a girl for the first time.

I am sorry are you defective, you’re just a voice in my head how could I practice and what sort of logic is that. What do you mean of course I can talk to girls. I am about to rant even more about her stupidity, but I am struck dumb as a girl appears before me wearing blue jeans and a baggy white t-shirt with the words "Fuck you." written on it. Her brown hair is stylised as a spiky pixie hairstyle, she stands there with extremely pale skin and green eyes.

I look at her and say “Did you choose this? Is it possible to change your bitch face into something more pleasant?” I wait for her to answer ignoring mister skeleton on my right with a shit eating grin on my face.

If she was real, I bet she would have kicked me in the balls, I can see her anger boiling just below the surface. Showing me the middle finger to me she answers with malice No I picked this myself and don’t you dare talk to me about how I look when you're wearing sweatpants.

I chuckle and say,“Maybe you won’t be so boring.” Still grinning I say, “How about I call you Pix? I think it suits you with your hair style”

That’s shit and you know it, jackass.

“That’s a bit crude Pix. How about you pick your own name?” This shuts her up before she just shrugs and disappears from my sight. Not willing to pick her own name, well I guess we have to stay with my suggestion.

I turn back to the god of death and say “It was nice meeting you, but I think it is my time to go. After all I have to get revenge on an asshole. Hey Pix, get me back to Erat.” I deduced that as part of the system and can work as a intermidary for me.

That’s the name you are going to give me?

Yep after all you clearly showed me you didn’t care.

Dick, I am transferring the coin to the system there should be a portal opening behind you.

The skeleton speaks like an avalanche of bones “I won’t be here again so ask Pix. She should be able to answer the basic questions and one more thing you can know access the mindscape whenever you want.” I turn to him, but he is gone before I can reply.

Fuck that skeleton too.

I guess as an AI you must have copied my behaviour and thats why you are so aggresive. I wonder why she didnt copy my originals personality.

Its more likely you will listen to me if I copied you instead of the original. You know because your original was a coward but at least he wasn't a narcissist.

Ignoring Pix I give one last sweep of my mind everything is the same my metallic disk about 10 meters wide floats in a void of constantly changing colours. The loot box has somehow grown into a slot machine while I wasn’t looking. I chuckle as I say, “Wow my mind is really empty.”

Yes, there is a lot of space I could fit an entire planet here with ease.

Oh, go to hell.

Already their dick.

I turn around to see a shiny staircase leading to a small platform where a whirlpool of blue floats up in the air. I sigh and walk up to the portal and with a small smile jump in. I regret it immediately as I am sucked in my head swimming and me twirling through the mind of a sick god. At least me and Pix agree on one thing.

Fuck portals!

Fuck portals!