My Dreams were of a certain Clown. I had nearly forgotten, I'd almost had placed it fully behind me.

Something about it felt all too real.

The Dread Casino extended all around us. It's twisted perversions were on full display.

I was nude and trapped on a Poker table, by fleshy corded ropes, while the horrid being paced all around me muttering about how I was so terrible for abandoning it.

My Struggles were futile. No amount of strength I exerted was enough I was going nowhere. I felt panic, I felt revulsion. I felt pure unadulterated fear.

My hearts were beating as fast as they could, while what felt like acid ran through my body. Every sense was heightened, in overdrive to find something, anything that could free me.

The Blood soaked air strained my lungs, and every breath increased the metallic taste in my mouth. I had the sense it would become all too familiar.

The rasping voice of the creature tore at my ears. Every utterance cutting away another piece of my sanity.

I wanted a way to muzzle it, gag it, something, anything to stop that soul piercing voice.

"I have found your Dreams, and so we are once again linked, My Victor." The Grand Laughter caressed my face with hideous claws, leaving trails of blood. Echoes rang out, "Mine, mine mine."

"You will never be free of me." The Devil Clown tore open my stomach and pulled forth my intestines. It set them, still attached, almost reverently beside my body. "Never, never, never."

The agony was blinding, and it became almost impossible to catch a breath. Yet, I could and did howl in misery.

Slowly, so heart wrenchingly slowly I adjusted to this new state. I began counting in my head, primes numbers. Just keep counting.

"Your fear is the sweetest I've tasted in 10 Eons, and your pain is so sharp and pungent, so vital. Ah....." The sick Harlequin, shuttered, and I didn't dare to speculate as to why. Well, I knew why, I just didn't want to process that disgusting thought.

My healing kicked in as my guts started crawling back into my body, this was an new form of torment. My fear and pain was tempered only by my rising hatred. I growled in frustrated rage.

"For some one who lets themselves feel so little, you have such strong emotions." More caresses, the claws now poking and prodding at more sensitive places. I tried to jerk away from it but it was no use.

"Repression isn't healthy Victor." A chorus of it's laughter surround us. "Let yourself feel it all, it will be so much fun." A certain oversized part of me was torn away. "Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy."

Oh, No NONONONONONONO! I was screaming, it was raw so powerful and my vocal chords ruptured. I fell into making gurgling sputtering coughs as my blood flooded my esophagus.

I've never experience anything like it. Words can never truly describe the level of anguish, the feeling of loss.

I lost count, I started over, I let my hatred grow. Every number a fantasy of revenge.

My intestines had finally settled into place, and my lower region was starting to regrow, a new misery to endure. My tears had begun flowing at some point and my own mucus added to the blood that was already drowning me. I may have vomited somewhere in there. The acid burn of it still stinging in my throat.

"You Mortals place why too much importance on those parts. What good are they anyway, except for making more of you, as if that was a worthwhile thing. There are plenty of you as it is. A nearly endless supply to play with." It touches continued.

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I might have passed out.

I was brought back to my sense by a powerful slap.

I had lost count, I started again. Focus on the numbers.

"Victor, I want you to say, you are mine. You have to, or I'll keep hurting you, and I'll keep making it worse." It face way too close, it mismatched eyes boring into my thoughts. I could smell it's fetid breath, sour and rotten.

You'll hurt me anyway, I kept my lips shut. It would never end, could never end, nothing I said or did would stop it. But if I said what it wanted...it would own me, it could mold my very nature to it's twisted whims. No. NEVER!

It began to take pieces of me. When I grew used to that, It began to eat the pieces in front of me. That really fucks with your head, you know, watch something eat you. It's worse than the pain itself.

I lost count. I started again. Even the thoughts stuttered in my mind.

"SAY IT. SAY IT. SAY IT!" Thousands of strike and cuts and rips and tears. Its abilities to find new way to hurts to hurt me were vast. Aeon of experience I suppose.

Personally the blindings were some of the worst times. Something about not being able to see, really scrudged with my heart.

The blessing of regeneration became my greatest curse.

I lost count, what was I doing again? Oh, right counting. I started again.

Slowly my will began to crumble as my sanity eroded. I knew better then to give it what it wanted. I knew it would end even if I did.

At one point, as I felt almost compelled to agree, I bit off my own tongue. Anything to spite this fucking Clown.

It shrieked curses at my stubbornness. Promising greater woes later.

Being skinned wasn't as bad as I thought it would be? Yeah, that probably a good sign my mind had snapped.

I lost count........

I've no clue how long this lasted. And it was harder to care as it progressed to worse and worse acts.

Then it Stopped. A deep pressure built. I was back in the Endless dark and deep ocean. Surrounded by forces I couldn't comprehend.

[ VIOLATION! ]

Where were you? A bit late Oh Great Guide. What did it matter anyway? I was already gone.

I had lost count...

I felt myself being lifted and carried away. Oh, good. Away was good, right?

"Victor, I have you." I knew that voice. My eyes were still regrowing from the last time the Nightmare Clown had ripped them out.

As they finished, I could increasingly make out the form of the Metalpunk Pixie Herself. This was good right?

"Hello, MODA." I croaked out.

"Greetings to you Victor. I wish it were under better circumstances." Her voice rang with genuine emotion even though it was artificial. Why would you care?

"What does it matter?" I was almost back to 100 percent. Physically. The rest of me, not so much. Things were jagged in the corners and depths of my mind.

"As hard to believe as I'm sure it is, we do care." She was trying to gently stroke my face, her little hand hurt so much, I flinched away from it. She looked very saddened by this.

"So this is real then?" I really hoped she said no. Please, please...

"Yes, this is the dream realm, but yes it is real. It's effects will matter. You will be deeply traumatized." She was a strange being, so straight forward, but so illusive. Little oddities like that seemed good to focus on. Not other things. No, not those.

"What now?" Not really wanting the answer, I just wanted to fade away.

"Now, I send you back, and later you will receive many gifts. This shouldn't have been able to occur. The Grand Laughter had no such abilities to affect the Dreams of Mortals. It used your connection to the Guide itself, things will have to change." She twitched in...anger maybe. I couldn't tell.

Change? Would it mean anything?

"Had?" I liked that word for some reason. I couldn't properly think about the rest.

"Had. Yes we striped him of most of his power. Soon he shall die." She seemed pensive. Can such beings really die?

Die, good. But it felt empty, weak, it wasn't enough.

I had lost count...

She started to say something else. Stopped. Then powered ahead. "Victor, the Witness Program was running. Everyone saw. You didn't break."

My mind ground down...everyone saw. EVERYONE saw. No. No.

I started crying. That was not for others to see. I curled in on myself. I didn't break, sure.

EVERYONE BREAKS, eventually everyone breaks.

"If you saw, why so long?" I sobbed. Here I was reduced to the emotional state of a child. So embarrassing. Somehow that was worse than knowing others saw it.

She stroked my head, and I barely reacted this time. "The Dream Realms are hard to navigate. It is one of the few areas the Guide is weak in. I'm so sorry Victor."

"You're wrong. I broke. I'm broken. I just wouldn't ever give it that." I tried to calm myself. Deep breaths. It's okay.

I had lost count. I started counting...numbers have a purpose. Purpose matters.

Her tiny hands seemed to emit a warmth, something forgotten. "Rest Victor. I'll get you home."

I embraced the darkness.