Feather [https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pw/AP1GczNXAm2QfgKVSG3fXlZAh9TnYi53SZ_JygV4UbA7kLG3YEKDlS0Wi4Dj-1poXeskt5T0NS2ucFmUb15cX7c-qI2IN-lv_YVn-xQsTOFMHkeZT0qczaWzd5SPXt3RucdUGfSz_AWT1WSN9p6geIRlUTqW=w639-h958-s-no-gm?authuser=0]
Phoenix felt both numb and tangled after finally getting a moment to rest after their ordeal. Listening to Uriel talk about his past with Dazien had been a pleasant distraction, but seeing the hurt of betrayal on his face made her stomach twist, unsure how to comfort him.
The idea of trusting someone as completely as he described felt rather foreign to her. She had trusted her mother and Jin back on Earth and learned to trust Paul and her party eventually here. However, the intensity and way Uriel described surrendering completely to her brother… Well, she wasn’t sure she could ever do something like that.
She also wasn’t sure what that might even look like and found herself curious. Was it reduced to not having any voice in a matter? To not have any opinion or authority to choose? She didn’t get that feeling normally when she saw them interact. Despite knowing that Uriel would always follow Dazien, she never felt like he was doing it against his will or felt like Daze would abuse that power… Until he apparently did.
That brought her back to her original problem: how did she comfort her best friend? She had never trusted someone that completely to have felt that kind of pain he seemed to be struggling with now. She tried to picture if she had been in his place, though. If her brother had ordered her to kill the person that mattered the most to her in the whole world…
Phoenix glanced back at Uriel who was grabbing some of the food she had placed out on the small pavilion table for everyone. He was the quiet shadow that would shield her from the world and soothe her own inner turmoils. The idea of him not being here anymore because Dazien ordered her to kill him, for instance, would have felt like a complete betrayal on multiple levels. She would hate Daze for it.
A soft hand on her arm drew her attention to her other friend sitting beside her, and Saiya quietly asked, “Why are you getting mad?”
She shook her head, trying to dispel the disturbing hypothetical from her mind, “Just started thinking about a worse outcome than what we went through. It was already bad enough; I shouldn’t add to my nightmares.”
Phoenix began petting one of the silky tails wrapped around her and said, “I’m sorry about Snowbelle. I get that it’s not really the end for her, but I know you must miss her terribly.”
Saiya nodded, “I can try to lessen my grief by telling myself that it’s just like a friend moving far away. It still feels awful, but it doesn’t feel so… final. It helps lessen the despair to think she’ll keep living a new life with a new summoner. One that might even be better suited for her than I was.”
Her nose scrunched slightly at that idea, and she asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, it’s fairly well known that summoned Familiars are usually a good match for their summoners. I don’t know the exact details, but it sounded like the Familiar Contract is only offered to a Familiar Soul that would be compatible.”
“Like they’re made for each other? Like Kindred Spirits?”
Saiya shifted slightly to snuggle closer into her arm, “You know, I do wonder about that. Dazien and I discussed it a little before, but he’s having trouble finding more information about Kindred Spirits specifically. I’m not sure how those play into it, or if they do at all, but from what I’ve gathered, it sounds like a possibility for a Familiar to be a Kindred Spirit considering cases like Fen.”
“A wood elf being both a Familiar and having a Kindred Spirit out there somewhere doesn’t sound too impossible,” she thoughtfully pondered, wondering if her own Familiar might be one.
Tala then materialized atop her head to roost in her curls as the tiny poof version and whispered in her mind, “While I really like being your Familiar despite you continually murdering us, I don’t feel the kind of pull or connection you had with the sleeping dad or some others.”
“Others?” she asked aloud in her surprise.
“What?” Saiya questioned, glancing up at her.
“Oh, um, Tala was just saying that she doesn’t think she’s one of my Kindred Spirits since she doesn’t feel the same kind of connection Paul and I have,” she repeated for her friend and felt her nose scrunching up again, “She also said I was being pulled towards others, but I’m not sure who she’s referring to.”
Large amber eyes stared at her for a long moment before shifting over to Uriel, who was just returning to join them again. Saiya suddenly got an amused look on her face as she hummed and said, “Hmm, I wonder who they could possibly be.”
“Right?” she agreed, “I don’t really treat anyone else like Paul. Maybe Tala’s just imagining things.”
Tala gave an indignant huff and flew over to sit in Saiya’s arms instead.
Uriel chuckled, “I think you offended her.”
“At least I’m not the one ignoring reality and getting us in terrible situations,” her Familiar retorted.
Phoenix frowned at her, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“If you weren’t so stuck on running away from your Title, then the snowy friend would still be alive, and the warm one would never have been put in that position to get betrayed by the shiny brother defending the hungry cousin in the first place.”
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The bluntness of the words felt like a slap to the face as she stared in shock at the Cosmic Phoenix. Tala was blaming her for everything? She was starting to feel that sting of betrayal now at the thought.
“Are you seriously saying this is all my fault? It was obviously a setup and there were even traps that were undetectable to an Emerald Caster! How was I supposed to overcome that? I can’t see the future!” she retorted, not realizing till she noticed her friends’ stares of surprise that she had spoken aloud in her indignation.
“You are a Saint now, Phoenix,” Tala replied with an overt roll of large silver eyes, “You could have told any of the clergy about this problem earlier. Had an entire army of Casters help you. Instead, you keep hiding under a cloak and trying to do everything yourself. You just need to take charge and have them help. I cannot ask them for you, and I am subservient to your will as your Familiar, but I don’t want to see another friend die because you won’t accept who or what you are.”
Phoenix just stared slack-jawed at the verbal assault that she couldn’t find a suitable argument against at the moment.
“You are not dumb, Phoenix, but you are also not being very smart about standing up for yourself and trusting others to help support you. You let the shiny brother act as your Herald; now you just need to act like his Saint.”
“I don’t want that, though! I don’t deserve that position! It’s not something I earned, I just cheated—”
“Earn it then!” Tala cheeped and poofed her feathers more before shifting into her larger form to flap up and get in Phoenix’s face as she said, “You have it. You are it already! So act like it and be what everyone needs you to be! They will praise you or try and kill you for it whether you believe you deserve it or not!”
Phoenix was speechless as she realized the truth of those words. People were already kneeling before her or targeting her despite whatever she felt about her Title. She chose to become the Chosen One when she accepted that quest and now she was left to deal with the consequences of that choice.
Her ignoring that fact just because she didn’t like the weight of it wouldn’t make it lighter for her to carry, it just made the risks all the heavier.
“I…” she trailed off, unsure of what to say. She looked at the ground, her fists clenched in frustration. The only thing it felt like she could say to her Familiar, who had been watching and fighting alongside her for almost a year now, was, “I’m sorry.”
The silence was palpable as Tala landed on the ground at her feet to stare up at her with those silver eyes.
A warm hand tentatively touched her shoulder, and she glanced over to see Uriel’s concerned gaze. She spoke out loud again for his and Saiya’s benefit as she said to Tala, “I’m sorry that I’ve been… running away and ignoring my own importance to others. Putting everyone in danger because I want to act as if nothing has changed. Everything is different now that everyone sees me as a Saint, and I don’t have Paul or Kara as a shield.”
She opened her arms slightly for her Familiar and was pleased when Tala fluttered up into her lap to let her hug the large bird. “I’m sorry I keep getting us killed, and I promise I’ll try to do better.”
“I will accept more shinies as recompense,” Tala replied with a sense of smug acceptance. Phoenix snorted a laugh, suddenly wondering if the reprimand had all been a ploy for more sparkly trinkets.
“I’ll try to help more,” Uriel surprised her by saying as he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to face everything alone.”
“We all want to support you, Phoenix,” Saiya added as well, giving a squeeze of the tails still wrapped around her.
She chuckled as she loosened her hug around Tala, “Thanks, but I’m not sure how you’ll be able to help my anxiety about standing in front of a crowd with everyone staring at me.”
“By standing beside you,” Uriel replied with a soft smile. Then his face became a confusing mix of emotions to her as he asked quietly, “Would it help if you weren’t the only Chosen standing before them?”
She stared at him in shock for a moment as she processed the implications of his words before asking incredulously, “You would do that for me?”
“Well, after the Scarlet Banquet finding out, I’m not sure it’s much of a secret anymore, and… well, after you died, it actually seemed to help keep them from killing me. Maybe it could help protect you as well and not be as bad as Patricia and I feared… besides, it doesn’t seem like keeping it hidden is doing anything to protect you from assassins.”
“But you would put yourself out there… tell everyone you’re Chosen too, risk being targeted yourself… just to make me feel better?”
His eyes met hers as he answered her question with his own, “Isn’t that what best friends do for each other?”
“I think that might be asking a bit more than what you normally would ask of any friend,” she replied, still reeling from the idea, yet she couldn’t deny that having him by her side in public like that would help her feel less isolated.
His smirk was more reassuring as he said in that slightly teasing tone he would use with her sometimes, “I’m okay with being more than a friend then if it means seeing you smile instead of worrying.”
She flushed slightly at that, not entirely sure what came after best friend on the friendship scale. Maybe there wasn’t any label for it. Maybe it was just who they were together.
Phoenix returned his smile, “I think I’m okay with that too… but we should probably warn Pati before you start walking around with your Soul Mark showing. Pretty sure she’d murder us both for that.”
“You’re probably right about that,” Uriel replied with a frown, “I don’t think she’s going to like the idea.”
“Well, good thing I said we’re warning her instead of asking for permission,” she said, glancing down at Tala, “It sounds like it’s time for me to stand up for myself more and stop caring so much about others judging me for being myself. If they want me to act like a Saint, then they’re going to just have to deal with the people I need by my side.”