Kitsune plushie [https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pw/ADCreHfbn6RAKWE9S4lVb3YpxdtslLGqKnVQ-AlUUlnKYOp_9W1Ry8FMOJiUIciWY3gFeGRUqWNg6kkWgPRrWB_SIMySGSiGgR2XNbsTpJVp_c5tNDuR6z4X-fm9i9g52VbQ6HOssqP6cSx93sbcjb0w8xwp=w621-h931-s-no-gm?authuser=0]
The party held onto the unspoken agreement to not discuss the events that had happened with Phoenix and Uriel until their duty as Adventurers was complete for the day. When they had gotten back to the secured encampment they had immediately begun helping to rebuild the gates and heal the wounded. Phoenix had cast another portal back to Tulimeir and they had Rayna sprint to convey the news of the attack and requests for any reinforcements to help secure the fortress.
Phoenix was helping everyone as she walked around with her aura projecting clearly to help them all recover mana and stamina. People overtly glanced towards the glowing woman with ruby curls and emerald eyes in a matching green dress who would stop to cast a heal on any who needed it and keep her portal on constant cooldown to allow the influx of healers and crafters from Tulimeir to get there.
She was unaccustomed to strangers overtly whispering and staring at her as she passed, positive her mind wasn’t exaggerating it this time, and her anxiety rose along with her self-consciousness. She felt even more awkward as she rejoined her teammates just as the fort commander, one of the Sapphire Casters she had sensed earlier, was making a point to publicly thank them for their quick assistance and delivery of the supplies they had been running desperately low on since the bandits had begun raiding.
Dazien did well in protecting his party from the tasks and social interactions they were uncomfortable dealing with. Insulating them from the officials who needed assistance or the civilians trying to thank or get things from them. Directing them to help where they were best suited and at least decently comfortable.
Uriel had been healed up completely by Saiya and had found a clear space to conjure his Fortress of Solitude in order to grab the only set of replacement Silencers he had for exactly this kind of situation where his usual ones were broken. Phoenix watched a bit curiously as she noticed the cinderen visibly relaxed at the silencing sensation and she wondered what could have happened in the past to make him feel more uncomfortable without the suffocating device. Though, after what she witnessed today, she was beginning to form a theory about what it might have been.
It was hours later when they finally finished their original task of delivering supplies to Vallinsarvi and they still had another stop to make that night. Once another portalist had been reassigned to help move people between the fort and Tulimeir, Phoenix cast her own one last time to take them east to Souja.
When they arrived at the fortress built into a mountainside, they spent the next few hours unloading and moving the last of their supplies to be delivered in between assisting with taking down monsters that spawned during the night. Having combat-oriented Casters on hand was usually preferable for the remote cities compared to burning through their supply of mana batteries to utilize the defenses built into the walls.
As the sun began to rise, Phoenix portaled the exhausted party back to Tulimeir and they all retreated to her more secure room at the Wayland building for that discussion before retiring for some actual sleep.
Once they were all sitting more comfortably in the plush seating by the hearth’s fire, Phoenix quickly recounted the events from when she sensed the sadistic Crystal Caster. She even showed them the messages from her book that displayed the quests she had received. They remained silent as she spoke and Uriel was the one to respond first as he said softly and apologetically, “I thought… I saw your clothes and all the blood… I thought you were dead.”
“No,” Phoenix assured him, “After talking more with Patricia, I’m fairly certain my body will turn to white ash when I die.”
“Please, let’s not speak of that,” Dazien said firmly, rubbing his tired eyes in his palms, “I don’t think we want to contemplate any of us dying.”
Before Phoenix could ask what had happened to Uriel, Saiya startled the party by suddenly standing and asking Phoenix to join her for a bit in one of the other rooms to speak briefly. The voxen claimed ‘Healer’s prerogative’ as the others gave her a raised eyebrow and Phoenix silently followed the woman as she was dragged by the animalistic hand to another of the empty guest rooms down the hall.
The two women sat silently on the bed of the small room for a moment before Phoenix asked, “Was there something you wanted to talk about? You seem… concerned about something in specific.”
The Healer hesitated for a moment, which seemed wholly unlike the normally peaceful and aloof voxen, as Saiya nodded slightly, “Yes. I know I’m not your primary or mind mender. You should probably speak with Jacob about all this next time you meet with him, by the way,” the Tranquil Healer added a bit awkwardly before getting back on track and saying softly, “But I wanted to talk to you more as a friend that has gone through a similar experience.”
Phoenix’s eyes went wide at the omission as she reassessed her extremely clingy friend, clarifying cautiously, “You? Um… you were attacked by a handsy monster before?”
The gentle woman nodded, “My mother and sister died on an adventuring mission… when I was about seven. Around a year later, my uncle said I reminded him of his lost wife, and he was… lonely.”
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
“I’m sorry,” Phoenix replied, unsure how she might comfort her friend, though the Healer didn’t seem in need of it, “You were only a child…”
“Yes, one that trusted him,” the voxen said in the coldest voice she had ever heard from the woman as small fangs briefly showed in a snarl. “It’s because he was distracted with tricking and cornering me that he failed to activate the rituals. The monsters spawning is actually what saved me that night, as the others in the camp started screaming. It gave me a chance to run to Rayna who ran us both away from the slaughter. I don’t blame myself anymore but my uncle’s weakness and greed destroyed my entire clan.”
They met each others’ eyes and Saiya’s expression softened, “I know what it feels like to lose a piece of your innocence. Nobody is ever ready for it when it happens. Whether it's being touched inappropriately, being a victim of violence, a betrayal of trust, or killing another person in defense. Those things are a violation of one's wishes and worldview. People will often mourn the fact that they can never gain that innocence back.”
Phoenix nodded in understanding, “I… I didn’t ever want to kill anyone. But I think Rayna and Paul were right, at least in this case. I don’t regret my actions,” she admitted, looking down at her fists as she said firmly, “I saw that man for what he truly was. A monster preying on children. If I could make the choice again, I would do the same thing.”
She felt Saiya’s hand on her own and she relaxed the grip as she met warm amber eyes with slitted pupils, “If I had hesitated, those children would have been the ones to suffer and lose that piece of themselves. That innocence that let them trust me to take them to safety. I just realized that I’ve been losing pieces of my innocence for a while now.”
The Wayfarer paused thinking about all that she had been through since even before arriving in this world months ago, “I think I can accept the cost, if it means keeping others from suffering,” she admitted, then gave her friend a soft smile, “That’s what being an Adventurer is all about, after all. Right?”
Saiya returned her smile and said in a lighter tone, “Well, that and the travel. Plus, the pay is great,” Phoenix laughed and the healer continued, “It feels good to help others. Being a part of their solution instead of their problems. I believe that helping others avoid the pain we’ve experienced helps lessen the burden of our past.”
“I think I agree. I’m hoping I can be better about focusing on the good I can do instead of the bad that has happened.”
“Just remember that we’re here to support you,” Saiya added, “Whether it’s to simply sit and hug, talk through issues, or help accomplish a goal,” the voxen paused for a moment and added softly, “I told you that story about my past not just to help you but to show you that I trust you… and to help myself.”
The Healer squeezed her hand, “I haven’t told many people about it. Being close to people… it helps me work past it… it helps reaffirm that my monster doesn’t control me. I want you to know that I have appreciated the fact that you let me hold you when I need it. You’ve never pushed me away or even asked me why I do it. I hope that your latest monster won’t change that.”
Phoenix was a bit stunned by the sincerity and vulnerability her friend was showing her; was trusting her with. The Wayfarer felt a bit awkward and slightly unworthy of it, considering her own secrets she had been keeping, but she smiled and reassured her friend, “It won’t. I think it would bother me more if you stopped being yourself at this point,” she said, returning the hand squeeze before adding, “Thank you for telling me, Saiya. It means a lot.”
The voxen woman leaned over and placed her soft head against her shoulder, the familiar tickle of long ears now a welcome sensation, and they just sat there, taking comfort in each others’ presence.
“There’s something I want to give you,” the young Healer said softly, “It might be a bit silly but I found it to help me during my time of trying to cope with everything.”
The Wayfarer smiled, “I promise I won’t laugh. A lot of the kids at the hospital I stayed at had different things that helped them when they were in pain or scared.”
“I forget sometimes that you’ve already seen so much sadness,” the voxen admitted, reaching into the dimensional satchel at her side that was designed like a messenger bag, “It’s hard to imagine growing up surrounded with fear and loss like you’ve described.”
Phoenix broke into a wide smile when she saw the plush stuffed animal that the Healer pulled from the bag, “This is Sky,” the voxen said with a slight smile and blush, “She was someone I could talk to about everything and not once did she laugh or brush me off.”
The Wayfarer accepted the proffered plushie and took a closer look at the pale blue fur covering the miniature nine-tailed kitsune fox. She raised an eyebrow at Saiya and asked, “Sky because it’s blue?”
The Healer grinned and rolled her eyes, “I was three.”
She chuckled and gave the incredibly soft fur a few pets before saying sincerely, “Thank you. I used to have a turtle plushie named Donnie that kept me company all the time. I’ll be sure to take good care of her until you ask for her back,” and before the voxen could protest, she held out a hand to halt the oncoming protest, “I can only accept something this precious on loan, okay?”
Saiya laughed with her and nodded in acquiescence before hugging her and the plushie at the same time, wrapping two soft tails around them in a warm embrace.
After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Saiya got up but gestured for her to remain seated as the Healer explained, “I think Uriel wants to talk privately with you as well. I could feel his guilt clearly. Wait here and I’ll send him in if you’re okay with being alone with him.”
Phoenix nodded, placing Sky the Kitsune into her collection for safekeeping, as she agreed, “That’s fine. We’re all still connected by Dazien’s voice chat, so I’ll let you know if there’s a problem but I want to talk with him as well.”
Saiya acknowledged the logic and began to leave the room before pausing at the door and looking back at the Wayfarer, “I know you keep secrets, Phoenix. I just want you to know that it’s okay and that it doesn’t make you a bad friend because of it. Everyone is entitled to their privacy. Just don’t let those secrets be what pushes you away from the people who care most about you. You don’t have to suffer in silence to be a good friend.”
With those final words of wisdom, Phoenix was left alone to contemplate the point and decide which secrets were keeping her away from truly connecting with her friends. Perhaps she needed to take a leap of faith and trust in what she hoped would happen, instead of what she feared might.