Dorothea felt like she could sleep forever, and part of her was scared that if she didn’t force herself up, she just might.

Her fearfully thrumming heart was calmed by the sense of a presence near her. She was bundled up in bed, and Gren was asleep on the floor near her, sitting up with his head nodding towards his chest. His hair was loose and spread across his face and shoulders. It gave him a faintly delicate and feminine appearance that made her chest tighten.

Hesitant, she sat up and reached out to touch his head. Twisting hair around her finger, she said, “Gren. You’ll get a crick in your neck like that. Eep!” she squeaked as his hand flew up to clutch at hers.

“Wha…?” He blinked up at her before swooping up for a bone-crushing hug that almost dragged her to the floor with him the next second.

“I-I’m okay!” She patted his back. “I’m okay…”

His grip loosened, and he backed away to look at her. “I’d only just fallen asleep. Your timing is impeccable,” he said with a small laugh.

Dorothea smiled. “That explains why you woke up so easily.” She patted the bed, and he took a close seat by her.

He tucked hair behind her ears and searched her face. “How do you feel?”

“Tired. Very tired,” she admitted. “How long was I out?”

“Only a few hours. Did you…” He trailed off as she leaned forward to rest her forehead at the base of his neck.

It had happened to her mother, too. The closer she got to the end, the less she’d rested. Her body and spirit had fought harder and harder, ignoring their limitations. Dorothea felt as if she were balancing between the gossamer line that existed between the place where the sea and sky met on the horizon.

“Is everyone else okay?”

“They’re preparing. Resting. I had to send them all home or else they’d have been watching over you too instead of getting some rest for themselves too.”

Dorothea smiled. “I’m very loved, aren’t I…”

“Yes.”

She looked up, meeting his eyes. His face was so close, but she didn’t feel worried. There was a powerful sense of security when he was near. “I want to talk to you about what you said before.”

“Okay.” He watched her patiently.

A sudden thought occurred to her, and she clapped her hands over her mouth, making them both jump. “I-I’ll be right back!” She fled into the hallway and slammed the door shut in her haste. Worry flooded her mind for a moment, but then she heard him laughing. It was an adoring, embracing laughter, absent of ridicule.

The communal bathrooms were rickety of course, but they were all able to get cleaned up each day. Gren and Dorothea took their turns, joining back up on the bed afterwards.

“So, um! Yeah.”

He smiled, waiting once again for her to gather her thoughts.

Okay. This was it. “I tried to tell you before, but I was too nervous. I’ve never done something like this before, and…” She shook her head. “I like you too. I want to get to know you more, and be together with you.”

He grinned, trying and failing to suppress it. “I’m… Wow, I’m really happy to hear that.”

This was real. He was agreeing to tie his life to hers.

But was he really okay with what that meant? “Gren, I want you to be sure. The fact is, I’ll leave you long before either of us wants. That’s a heavy burden.” Her heart was filled with so much yearning it felt ready to burst, but the inevitability of hurting him was shredding her apart.

“We both have burdens. Every person does. If you’re willing to accept me, then there’s no need to hesitate.” Gren leaned closer, and she could sense the warmth of his skin. “I’ll tell you everything that makes me sure. I’ll show you that certainty, if you’ll have me.”

Joy and excitement sent a tremble through her. “Before I knew it, you were constantly on my mind. Thinking about you and your words helped me stay strong. You make me feel like anything is possible. And… Even now that we know that’s not true, I still know that we’re going to be okay as long as we keep pressing on.” Every time she felt ready to drown in doubt and hurt, the people she’d come to treasure were there to save her. “Whatever happens, I wanted to say all of this to you.”

He put his forehead against hers and rubbed the back of her neck comfortingly. “We’ll be okay. I promise you.”

Dorothea smiled but froze up when he traced gently to the front of her neck, up her throat and jaw to cup her cheek. Even such a light skim of a touch left a blazing trail.

“Can I?” He looked at her carefully, taking stock of her reaction.

“Yes.” Dorothea squeezed his hand reflexively as he pressed his lips to hers, firmly and only for a second. “I, ahem, I’m warning you, I’m new to all this,” she said in a small voice, feeling ecstatically overwhelmed. Her first kiss. It had been so slight and fleeting. She wanted more.

“Me too.”

Impossible. “No one else has ever…?”

He smiled wryly. “I kill through touch and have an established history of losing control of my magic. That deters most people. Though your surprise is appreciated.”

Dorothea averted her gaze in shame. “I’m sorry, Gren… I was the same. I didn’t see you at all at first, and I did and said such awful things…”

“It’s okay. You see me now. You see all of us.”

Gathering her courage, she touched her lips to his. “I do.”

He smiled, looking a little bashful. “I’m the one who’s surprised, you know?”

“If you keep being so sweet to me, I’ll…” Dorothea closed her eyes as their noses touched. Maybe that was just how it was when you admired someone so much, to be so unbelieving that others wouldn’t see them the same way.

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He kissed her, just for a moment again. “You’ll what?”

Dorothea was embarrassed by her own sense of greed. “Um. A little more is fine,” she encouraged in a soft voice, unsure of where to look or put her hands.

He kissed her without a quick withdrawal now, hands gently pushing into her hair. His fingers clenched and unclenched, his breath wavering, as if he were trying to hold back.

Weight and warmth pressed down on her, and Dorothea gasped against his lips as she landed on her back, pushed into the blankets. “Woah!”

He lifted himself up with an awkward smile. “Sorry. Overzealous, I think.”

Gods, he was cute. “Me… Me too.” She was caught between feeling comfortable with what they were doing and not finding it natural due to inexperience and years of denial. Tentative, she lifted her head to peck him on the cheek and rested her hands against his back. “I don’t know what to do now.” She was unnerved by how quickly and easily this new and warm, mind-numbing feeling was overtaking her. “I’m a little scared,” she whispered.

His expression softened. “There’s no rush. Not for anything.”

Even with her, who barely had time worth giving to him? She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when he pushed her bangs back to brush a tender kiss to her forehead.

“I just saw all the doubts play across your face. Don’t worry about any of that. This is enough.”

I’m enough, Dorothea thought, and the miracle of finding someone who made her feel that way so completely was overwhelming enough to bring tears to her eyes. “I love you a little bit,” she laughed, pulling him into a hug.

He didn’t reply, but a tremor ran up his back. Dorothea realized that he felt the exact same way she did in that moment. She squeezed her eyes shut and hugged him, clinging to his back. His hands splayed out and pressed on hers like he wanted to hold as much of her as possible as close as possible.

“You should get some rest,” Dorothea told him softly.

“Mm. I don’t want to sleep at all. Not for a year.” He shifted onto his side though, drawing his arms more tightly around her as his body otherwise relaxed.

She listened to his breath slow down and even out, basking in a slow feeling of contentment. It started to lull her to sleep like music.

“Not once,” Gren murmured, and it seemed like it was from a dream.

“What?” Dorothea whispered after a long silence ensued. She gazed at him, smiling and tittering a small laugh as his tell for embarrassment played out. A playful pout replaced that feeling, and he buried his face in her chest, laughing as she squealed.

He held tight. So tight, like he was afraid she’d vanish otherwise. “Not once since that day,” he confessed, words muffled, “did I think someone would come to love me.”

She said nothing, hoping that the gentle, lingering kiss she planted to the top of his head would convey everything she was suddenly too choked up to voice.

He looked up at her when she lifted her head. “People like you can’t ignore the world and just let it keep turning. Part of me wishes that weren’t the case. But, well, that’s why I love you in the first place.”

Her breath halted. “You…?”

He smiled. “Saying that, there’s no point in waiting. I’ve decided that I love you. Whether it’s one year, more or less… I love you.” He chuckled and added teasingly, “A little bit.”

“A little bit,” Dorothea echoed, laughing. Gods, she was lucky. This life had given her so much.

To fall asleep in a loved one’s arms, and to hold them in her arms as he did the same. What a new, beautiful sort of joy.

*

Gren was a fool to think his dreams might improve so quickly.

He’d felt so happy before going to sleep though. He and Dorothea had made love again and fallen asleep to the sound of rain the night before, and it had felt impossible for everything not to be okay in that moment.

Yet here he was. Sometimes he came to a point where he knew he was asleep but couldn’t quite wake up yet despite trying to thrash his way to the surface. Those were the worst nightmares, where his body and mind wouldn’t reach the same place. It felt too real.

“Gren… Gren…” A voice was reaching him, cutting out all the rest. “Gren!”

He woke with a heaving gasp. “Wha?!” It took a few gulps of air to catch and regulate his breath. By the light streaming in, there was no way he’d been asleep more than an hour or two. “Dorothea…”

“It’s me…” She was stroking his hair, concern all over her face. Gren’s face was buried in her chest, his arms constricting her around her back and waist. He was still trembling and a little sweaty. She watched him as he pulled away, sitting up to collect himself. “What happened?”

“I have bad dreams,” Gren admitted. “Sorry for alarming you.”

“What are the dreams about? If you feel like talking about it.”

“Mm.” He let himself be pulled into her comfort, laying back down and putting a loose arm around her shoulders when she put her head on his chest. “My family. Do you ever dream about yours?”

“No. Well, the only family I ever had by blood was my mother. I’ve never known anyone else.”

“I see.” He took her hand and idly traced the lines of it. “I know they’d forgive me for not protecting them. I don’t know why I dream like this. It… Well, it got worse after we found out what really happened. I guess I’m just…”

“You’re grieving,” Dorothea finished softly. “A grief that started that day and hasn’t been answered yet.”

“Yeah. I won’t be able to let them go until we end this. I feel that in my bones.” He was the one holding on, not them. Their rage was something he’d built up in his head. It was his suppressed anger against the world and people who had taken so much from him and his home and people. “We’ve all got some of that darkness in us, I think,” he mused.

“I think so too. If I think about how many things could have gone differently, how much worse and more violent things could have gotten on this road we’ve been on if even small choices had been made by certain people… It’s terrifying.”

“Then what about you?” he asked into her palm as he kissed it.

“I’m not perfect. Somewhere, there’s a version of me that didn’t stop at slapping you that day. She slit your throat. Somewhere maybe there’s a me that never even left Sirpo at all, and she let Ghuria be destroyed by Sacer without a single care. And somewhere else, who knows?”

“Then there’s a me somewhere who eradicated the Sacerians in vengeance, isn’t there?”

“Possibly.” She pressed her lips over his heart through his shirt. “I wouldn’t change where we are now for anything. So keep that darkness. There’s nothing wrong with it. The you and I here and now will continue to make the right choices. We’ll grieve and love well.”

All good and bad things alike would come to an end. Perhaps that was for the best, or perhaps it was a wish. It meant change for the better would always be possible, even if happiness could never be permanent.

Gren gently pushed her onto her back, then pressed his lips over her heart as well, or as close as he could get. “Thank you.”

Dorothea put a hand over her eyes. “You’re kind of unfair, aren’t you?”

“Hm?”

“C-Come on, you can’t do that and expect me to just shrug it off like you.”

“You did it first.”

“But…!” She hid behind her hands again. “You’re too much for me.”

“Good.” He watched how the beginning colors of sunset dyed her hair through the gap in the matted, makeshift curtains.

Sunset.

He sat up so suddenly that Dorothea yelped in shock. “Sorry,” he laughed. “But I want to do something. I want to show you a little bit of my homeland, right now. Is that okay?”

“Well of course, but…” She stopped talking and gave him a begrudging smile after he snuck a kiss to her lips.

“I’ll be right back.” Time to go get Wesley and the others.