Ariana didn’t mind someone who was confident; she found it rather attractive, in fact. Even so, the smug grin that Iree put on when she was pleased with herself was irksome. Iree was wearing that smirk as she and Ariana camped out in the corner of a quiet bar to talk shop.

“She’s way too naive,” Ariana stated after summarizing their recent activities and how Dorothea had been spending most of her waking moments poring through the library, “and she still seems to think we can settle this peacefully somehow.” Here she paused, thinking.

Dorothea had spoken up to defend her yet again in the library a few days prior. She was really that invested in her beliefs, then? Even after facing the Ghurians in battle, even after believing she’d lost her home to them, she still believed in their goodness. Ariana didn’t know what to think of it all. Dorothea was so flawed, and she’d never be some kind of hero, but… She was more than what Ariana had thought.

“Do you think she’ll try something?” she asked finally.

“She’s not that bold,” Iree dismissed. “Olyen and Rhys are both in line now, and she won’t go anywhere without them or risk their safety. This war’s as good as won.”

“It doesn’t sit well with me to underestimate her magic,” Ariana insisted.

Iree nodded, but her smile didn’t drop. “We don’t have to worry about the magic if we understand the person, and Atlin’s transparent. She’s easy to manipulate and quick to get attached. The moment she made ties in Sacer, it was done.”

“And Rhys? You’re not just going to let him run around unchecked, are you?”

“He’s the same as Atlin. Neither of them are a threat.” Her smile got even more smug. “I nipped that piece of trouble in the bud. He’s all ours. She won’t influence him anymore.”

Influence? Could Iree really not see that, whatever she’d tried to do to keep Rhys and Dorothea apart, it had only gone on to strengthen their friendship? This side of Iree that was only seeing what she wanted to was new, and it worried Ariana. Or had she always been this cocky and Ariana had wanted the safety it presented too much to question it?

“Are you telling yourself that so you won’t have to dispose of him?” The fact stood that Rhys was the most dangerous person in Sacer, possibly in the whole country. Without him, the goal of destroying Ghuria wouldn’t be possible, not without much bigger sacrifices. It really was the case, Ariana realized, that Iree’s plans had always, always hinged on Rhys remaining loyal to her. She’d never even questioned it before Dorothea had come along, and neither had Rhys himself.

Iree laughed. “Come on, relax! This is what we worked for, and I’m telling you it’ll be fine. Trust me.”

Could she? Ariana wondered that for the first time. She’d always known Iree wasn’t morally pure, but she’d still trusted her strength and intentions. “Don’t dodge the question. He’s been nothing but a liability for years now. Him following orders one time for Izozkia’s retrieval doesn’t erase all of that. Regardless of your feelings for him—”

Iree’s smile dropped in an instant, replaced by a cold, almost malicious glare. “Kingfisher. There’s a line, and you’re dangerously close to crossing it.”

Fine. It wasn’t as if Ariana had a say anyways. She was indebted to Iree for letting her have what little of a place she did in Sacer. That had never involved decision-making power, just the chance to tag along behind Iree as she chased her ambitions.

And maybe that was just the way Iree liked it?

Before Iree could sense her doubt, Ariana faked a yawn, stretched and scooted out of her chair. “I should go. Gotta report early to keep an eye on them all.”

Iree nodded, swirling the last foamy remains of her beer around the bottom of her glass with a slight smile. “Keep up the good work.”

She was so certain of everything all the time. Ariana was a little jealous, but she also knew there was a fine line between earned confidence and misplaced arrogance.

Once she was in the open air, tension she didn’t realize had gathered within her dissipated. And then it all came back tenfold once she got home and found a rather unwelcome guest sitting on her front porch.

Despite the racing of her heart she asked calmly, “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

Dorothea smiled and hopped to her feet. “Precisely. See, I’d like to go on a journey, but as I am incapable of riding a horse alone, I would like you to go out with me tonight.”

She looked kind of manic, and Ariana was a little concerned. “Why should I?”

“Because I’m going whether you like it or not and I don’t think Iree would let you off easy if I’m nowhere to be found in the morning.”

“Where are we going, and why can’t it wait until the morning?” If the journey required a horse, it was definitely farther than they should be travelling.

“Sirpo.”

Ariana scowled to hide her apprehension. “Are you drunk or high or both?”

“Nope. Well, high on terror maybe.”

“Dorothea, come on, we’re not doing that. What would seeing it change?”

“I need to go,” she insisted. After a pause, she let out a huff, patted her hair down, smoothed her dress, turned on her heel and walked away.

Not good. “Where are you going?”

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“I just realized I could walk there myself. I’ll see you in a few weeks or months.”

“Don’t be an idiot!” She couldn’t be serious. Iree had trusted Ariana to keep this whole thing a secret, but neither of them had been prepared for Dorothea to go off the deep end. The commander had said that her grief and hatred would keep her in line… But Ariana saw neither of these emotions now.

“Goodbye. I shall subsist on tree bark and snow.”

She really meant it. No, she couldn’t mean it! Surely she’d give up after a few minutes of walking, maybe a half hour at the most.

She did not. An hour later, she was still striding forward with her hands folded in front of her, ignoring Ariana as she followed her through the woods with insects howling around them.

“You’re some kind of stupid,” she sighed. “Stop! Just stop. You’re wasting my time.”

“Something I’ve noticed,” Dorothea began without slowing her pace, “is that I always see the same soldiers. Whether it’s Iree taking out her chosen squad or who is on the opposing side, it’s the same main players. Why is that?”

“In Sacer, it’s a post-epidemic rule. Most people are hanging back off the battlefield so the population can keep recovering. I can’t speak for Ghuria, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re trying to do the same thing.”

“So on the Ghurian side we’ve seen ice and wind magic, people who use needles and have the aid of animals, and then there’s Bittersweet Nightshade. On our side there’s earth, fire, water, fists and blades. So Ariana, tell me…” She stopped walking, and Ariana saw her hands and legs shaking. “When I look at the bodies of my people, what kinds of wounds will I see?”

After she recovered from a moment of pure shock, Ariana laughed. It started out small and devolved into helpless cackling that even she found a bit insane.

Dorothea was glaring at her. “What’s funny about any of this?”

“You win,” Ariana gasped. “I admit it, you win.” The hand that had reached out to her with such unprompted kindness… The conscience she thought she’d buried due to necessity was betraying her now.

“So you’re ready to tell me the truth?”

Ariana nodded, smiling because she felt the world falling apart around her and it wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it might be. “Iree underestimated you. She thought you’d roll over and do whatever you were told without question.” She held her hands up in surrender as Dorothea stepped back and clasped her own hands together. “It was she and I that destroyed your home and blamed it on the Ghurians so we could secure your allegiance to Sacer.”

“In the name of your justice,” Dorothea whispered harshly, tears glistening in her eyes.

“I suppose.” For Ariana, justice had never once been a part of it. Living, only living. She just hadn’t wanted to die, desperately so.

“You…” Dorothea was trembling all over in her horror. “I didn’t even hate Ghuria after my mother died… I didn’t even hate them after the epidemic and the lives she returned took her away. Or I thought I didn’t… But you and Iree twisted that, twisted everything, all for this war…!”

Wait. Something in those statements was wriggling at a disconnected piece of information in Ariana’s mind. What was it?

“Dorothea, hold on. Don’t do anything rash.” The information clicked, and she was too stunned and confused to even breathe for a few seconds.

“Who are you to make demands?” Dorothea snapped.

“This is important!” Ariana leaped forward and grabbed her wrists to pry her hands apart. As Dorothea gasped in fear she asked, “What year did your mother die?”

“Where do you come off asking me that?!”

“I took the journal from your house and read you and your mother’s entries.”

“That… How could you and Iree do this…? How could you think your justification was good enough?” Her anger was being overwhelmed by shock and misery now, and she bowed her head. “Year 1180.”

“Son of a… I can't believe this,” Ariana whispered.

“Ariana…?”

If Ophelia Atlin had died in 1180 after the epidemic and the epidemic had been the direct cause of the current war, then why had the journal entry that stated Cinder Creed had asked Ophelia to join Sacer in an impending war been dated 1179?

“I know you don’t have a reason to listen to me,” she said hoarsely, “but I think there’s something else we need to figure out… There’s something I have to tell you.”

Dorothea nodded slowly, responding to the honest fear in Ariana’s voice. “Okay. I’m listening.”

That easy, huh? “You’re seriously…?” Crazy girl. If their positions were flipped, Ariana would have… Well, it wouldn’t be pretty.

She smiled. “This is who I am, I’ve decided. This is what’s going to take me forward and keep me strong. If I lose that part of myself again, if I let someone take it from me, I don’t think it’d be forgivable.”

Forgiveness, Ariana realized. That was the vital thing they had missed. They hadn’t thought that their plan could be foiled by a person with an immense, stupid capacity for forgiveness.

After she explained the inconsistency, it took Dorothea a long time to speak.

“I see… I never read that entry at all. I didn’t want her words after she died, but I should have… Not that I would have had the wherewithal to realize anyhow.” She shook her head. “Ariana, we have to—”

“It’s got nothing to do with me,” she interrupted. What was done was still done.

“It could.” Dorothea’s eyes sparked with determination. “Give me a chance, okay? Keep this to yourself and let me try something. The next time we meet the Ghurians on the battlefield—”

“Then it’s business as usual for me. Look, I respect you enough to have told you the truth, but that doesn’t mean you have my loyalty.” By now there was nowhere for Ariana to go back to, and there was no guarantee that whatever Dorothea did would end up creating a better reality than what Iree planned. “You’re on your own from here.”

She frowned but nodded. “Okay. Well… Thank you, Ariana.”

“Come on, time to go back. I want to sleep.” She paused, feeling like she was going to burst. “Tomorrow is Zeal’s Web. The day after that, Iree is planning a direct attack on a small settlement near the Ghurian border that she’s pinpointed as the enemy’s base of operations. Do with that information what you will.”

“I see.” Dorothea didn’t look scared at all, only resolved. “Really. Thank you, Ariana.”

“Whatever.”

They returned to Udara, Ariana’s skin and mind pricking all the while. She’d been willing to do so much because her homeland was dying, because she hadn’t wanted to die as her options and means continuously narrowed around her.

But if Cinder Creed, if Sacer had had something to do with the epidemic all along…

No. No, there was no one and nothing to go back to, and no point in changing. As always, despite doubt, despite anguish, she would stay the course.