Moving in a disoriented fog, Rhys approached Dorothea so she’d be able to hear him. He didn’t have the will to voice what he was about to in anything greater than a whisper. There was too much power in its weight.

“The day Sharee died,” he recounted, “Iree came to me. She said she’d be alone without me. She said she needed me. She said we were each other’s only family now and we needed to stay together no matter what. She kissed me and held me. Held me so tight I couldn’t… No, for some reason, my body just…froze…? I said I didn’t want to. I asked her to stop. She said she needed me, over and over again. Said she loved me. Said she’d have nothing if I wasn’t there. She pushed me onto the bed. Kissed me more. Put me inside her. Held me tight again, held me down and moved. Told me she loved me while she was crying, told me I was all she had and she wouldn’t be able to take it if I left her alone. I didn’t throw her off. Why didn’t I throw her off? I didn’t want all that, but I…”

Dorothea had started crying, but Rhys barely noticed.

“All I’ve ever done is follow. I’ve been led down one path or another. I’m so tired. Of being used, of all of this. If I try to live for myself, I’m a traitor to the ones who got me to where I am. I owe them so much. If I follow them, I’ll always feel like this. I’ll always hurt someone. I’ll kill more. If I’m either a murderer or a betrayer, then I should just…” As his thoughts turned to reflection, his self-awareness came back. Wasn’t the event he’d just shared, that thing that made him constantly feel so dirty and used up, just burdening her more? “I’m sorry for saying all this, I just… I don’t know if I can change myself. If I wasn’t even able to… I don’t know what I should have done, what I… I don’t…” He stopped to look to her for answers. “I didn’t push her off.”

“Rhys,” Dorothea sobbed, one finger hooking around his sleeve. “That’s rape. She forced you.” She looked up at him, the utterly shattered expression on her tear-soaked face cutting him through to the core.

“I…I should have…” He should have been able to defend himself. He should have done so many things.

She searched his face. “How often does she say these things to you? Has she always made you feel like you owed her something you didn’t want to give? Rhys, no one has that right.”

So he hadn’t been wrong to be so afraid of Iree? He hadn’t been wrong to, deep down, want to tear the both of them apart all this time. He’d been raped. Such a strange word for him to come to terms with all of a sudden. It had torn at him for five years now, and it would do so until he died.

“I didn’t,” he managed, finding it nearly impossible to breathe, “I didn’t want to. Dorothea, I…” He clutched at his chest. “Aren’t I too far gone? I killed a child. I… I’ve been getting what I deserve. All this pain, all these things that made me hate myself and want to die, it’s just karma, right?” He took a step back from her. “I was punished because I should have been. I don’t deserve to go on.”

She wiped her face, and he realized suddenly how resolute she looked. “That’s not true. I want you in this world, Rhys. You deserve to be in it and heal. It’s okay to be gentle with yourself even while you grapple with things like guilt and repentance. Whatever path you want to walk, I’ll be right here for you. I’ll do anything to help you, anything at all. Because you’re my friend and I love you.”

Without expectation or looking for anything in return, she was willing to promise him the world. That was what gave him the strength to hold on.

He was allowed to try to live. Despite everything he’d done, despite all these sins that could never be cleansed, even he had the right to keep going.

He reached his hand out, feeling like he’d crumble if he tried to move on his own. “Let’s go, Dorothea.”

She nodded, took his hand and led the way upstairs. Rhys got the instant urge to flee when he saw the Bittersweet Nightshade-user standing there, but he reminded himself that this reactionary fear was also a false part of the things he’d been taught since he was a child.

“I’ll take us straight to our destination,” Dorothea stated, taking a few deep breaths.

The Bitt… No, it was Gren, he grasped her hand, and a faint red glow dusted Dorothea’s cheeks. “Where to?”

Rhys was dizzy from the possibilities before them, and it was all he could do right now to follow. As if knowing, Dorothea gave his hand a squeeze.

She replied to Gren. “First, to Sirpo. We restore my home and then turn to yours. We’re going to protect Ghuria.” She paused, looking at them both. “We’re going to change this world. No doubt.”

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Gren wore an expression of quiet determination and hope that matched Dorothea’s perfectly. “I’m with you.”

Rhys steeled himself for the journey ahead. The healing, both for himself and the two warring nations, would be no simple task. Rather than feeling overwhelmed or daunted as he usually would, however, he felt lighter than he had in years. The sharing had been the first step. The lightness wouldn’t last, but he knew it was possible. “We’ll give it a shot, won’t we?” he laughed.

And so they took the first step towards the future they would create together.

*

Shark Olyen was taking their frustration out on their bedroom door, levelling kick after kick at it. The soldiers that had been stationed outside made no response, not even when their foot busted straight through.

They staggered as they tore free, tipping over and falling to the floor. It was a very humbling position, one that gave their thoughts room to take over once their body was still.

Where was Thea? Was she safe? Why had Shark been put under house arrest and a constant guard when Iree’s squad should have been sent out on a rescue mission long before now? Something was very wrong.

They leapt up as a familiar voice sounded quietly from outside. “Pardon me. The two of you are hereby relieved of your post.” There was a pause as hushed words came from the guards. “Yes. Thank you for your concern, but I will be fine. Now go.”

Shark clutched at their chest as Cerid came into the room. He eyed the jagged hole in the door, shook his head, and then looked at Shark mournfully.

“I wouldn’t’ve done that if somebody had told me what was going on,” they muttered.

“Shark…” Cerid hugged them tightly, squeezing Shark’s arms to their sides. “I am sorry,” he said. “I did not… If I had known, I… I kept myself in denial, and now this!”

“You’re scaring me.” Shark wiggled free to hold him back, clinging to his jacket. “What’s happening?”

“I do not know where to start,” Cerid said with a weak, insincere laugh. “It is…You were kept under watch because you and Dorothea were both under investigation for treason.”

“What?!” Shark wrenched away, searching Cerid’s face. They would hate him for telling a joke like this, but they still wanted it to be one.

“You have been cleared.”

“Where’s Thea?” Shark demanded. “Where is she?!”

“Shark, please listen. I know it will be hard to believe, but everything I am about to say is the truth.” Tugging gently, he guided Shark to the bed to sit. “Dorothea is cooperating with Gren Fall. She left with him of her own volition during our last battle and was subsequently captured and interrogated. At some point during the night, the two of them escaped with Captain… With Rhys.” Cerid paused. “I witnessed it myself. During our last skirmish, she wanted to go with him. She asked me to stand down herself.”

Wait, this was all too much at once. “No. She was coerced somehow.” Why would Thea cooperate with the enemy? Had she done it to protect Shark and the others somehow? That had to be it. She’d been forced and—

“Shark.” Cerid took their face in his hands. “Everything I said is true. Sentiments she expressed to Commander Nobelis when questioned erase all doubt.”

The word interrogation just now caught up to them. “Cerid, did they hurt her?”

“I do not know. I have also been kept out of the loop since it happened. Commander Nobelis only now got me up to speed.”

“I have to go, I have to save her, I…” But their legs weren’t moving. If all of this was true, then why hadn’t Thea said anything? Why was Shark of all people the last to know? If Thea hadn’t shared her doubts, then no matter what she told herself—maybe she hadn’t wanted to worry them—that meant she already thought they couldn’t be trusted. But why?!

The Ghurians had taken Sirpo, taken Shark’s father, much as they hated him, taken Thea’s parents, and they stood in the way of Shark and Cerid’s goal. For Thea to willingly take the hand of Gren Fall, a mass murderer, was unforgivable.

Dorothea had already switched sides in her heart. If things had gotten this far, that had to be the indisputable truth. And if that was the case, then that made her Shark’s…

“I can’t…” They clutched at their chest as their world started to spin in all senses. “I can’t follow her,” Shark whispered. For Thea to join that side, the side that had caused so much pain just because they wanted to take and take… No. No. Shark wouldn’t let this happen. They knew who the enemy was. They knew who to destroy to stop Dorothea from going down the wrong path, to create a better world for everyone. “I’ll crush them all and take her back. Without a doubt. All of them…”

So absorbed in these thoughts, they didn’t notice the newfound horror in Cerid’s eyes as he looked at them.