Half Drank coffee cups. Silk pj’s folded neatly on bedside corners, the smell of cinnamon.
Are all things that taunted aspens memories.
What would her mother think of her seeing her float around careless as a butterfly.
Aspen never understood why some people let everything bother them, people looking for reasons to be mad or upset. How exhausting she would think to herself when seeing an irregular and irrational rant on things that didn’t really matter. She taught herself to be this way. It definitely wasn’t her mother or her father that held this sense of calmness about them. Her mother was always one wrong word from screaming.
It was from the same self-teaching that made her never confront problems with people in public she found it extremely disrespectful. She always promised herself that if she had a problem with someone it should be handled behind closed doors. She remembered how awful she would feel to get yelled at over something small Infront of many people growing up because her mother never had the self-control to wait. And regardless of how her family function at a rapid and no apology rate. She still missed everything, even the bad parts
She had broken this promise when it came to Joseph, and it made her feel awful.
She left this note in his mailbox
I’m sorry I said those things. I do care about you. I shouldn’t have yelled at you Infront of your neighbors. -aspen
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There was a fire in her chest and worry in her heart. There was a mountain of doubt in her mind. She never knew if she was making the right choice. She spent hours trying to justify her thoughts and then crossing them out and starting from scratch.
She constantly said sorry for things she should be.
The wind hitting her face while she was riding her broom home gave her comfort. She knew when she got home it would be okay.
When she came through her front door.
John sat on their couch.
“Hey, I need to talk to you” he told her
“I don’t want it to make anything weird” he followed it up with.
“Go ahead” aspen told him
Oh brother she thought to herself
“I’m in love with you” John told her with worry in his eyes. As soon as it left his mouth there was a knock on the door. She opens it, it was Joseph.
She walked with him outside they argued about everything that bothered him and her too. All John could hear aspen yelling don’t try to make me feel like that and on and on. She would walk inside to apologize that she couldn’t give John the attention that he deserved but an hour into the chaos. She looked at both of them apologized and left. She flew straight to Eden's house.
Eden lied on her bed painting her toes and singing along to her radio. Aspen floated to Eden's bedroom window. Eden opened the window.
“Come on in darlin” Eden told her
“You’ll never believe what’s going on, I got thing one and thing two sitting before me and instead of naming things, they are just trying to stress me out at the same time, I can only deal with one fuckery at a time and there's other stuff I need to be focusing on Eden” aspen started ranting.
Out of a sea of ranting Eden stop her.
“Those son-of-bitches!” Eden exclaimed and they both started giggling
aspen thought it might be best to stay with her a few weeks and maybe even get a head start on more important things, like the grapes of paradise. Which Eden pulled out of her bedside table.
"There are side effects, like being dizzy and a sedative feeling the first time you take them so only take one to get used to it, you should do them while we hang out so I can make sure you're okay. whata ya say?"
"That sounds good Eden." after few moments later Aspen adds "how did you get into to all this, you must have a reason or something pushing you to even find something like that"