Memory transcription subject: Slanek, Venlil Space Corps

Date [standardized human time]: September 23, 2136

Thanks to the destruction of Gojid military outposts, human forces were able to waltz through their systems without challenge. Piri recalled all vessels to protect their cradle-world, which meant the attack on Earth was postponed. With their border detection systems and complex defense network offline, their only play was to hold their core planets.

The rambunctious behavior of the humans, on the transport ride to the Gojid homeworld, struck me as odd. Their vulgarity multiplied by an exponential factor, once we were among the regular soldiers; the outpost visitors never made such explicit or demeaning comments. Even Marcel made some quips to his counterparts that came across as downright cruel, but they just laughed it off.

I was beginning to realize that these predators may have toned themselves down, so as not to exacerbate our fears.

How can they mess around at a time like this? Don’t they know what they’re walking into?

My human was ‘playing’ some ‘game’ with his new friend, Tyler, which was difficult for me to spectate. As I observed, my buddy’s on-screen avatar shot an enemy, while gunfire sound effects blared from the speakers. Marcel’s laser-focused expression became gleeful, and his counterpart cursed.

The screen shifted to a replay, which showed the bullet penetrating the avatar’s head from a side angle. The body dropped in slow motion, as though the game was glamorizing its demise. Why would the Terrans want to simulate murder and warfare, for fun? I hated seeing my friend conduct himself in a predatory manner. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

Come to think of it, the ruckus the predators were creating caused me discomfort, in general. I really wanted a hug, and for them to turn off that uncivilized game. However, I didn’t want to embarrass my Terran friend by collapsing into his grip; that would put him in an uncomfortable position. According to my recent reading, human males were taught not to display emotion in public.

Marcel grinned as Tyler called him obscenities, and my ears drooped against my head. I was hyper-aware that I was the only Venlil on this ship. I felt neglected and…alone, in this awful cage.

We’re less than an hour away from our destination, Slanek. You need to get yourself together.

I slipped away while the red-haired human was distracted, and locked myself into the lavatory. My snuffling echoed through the chamber, as full-throated sobs racked my body. Why couldn’t I just be happy that my friend was improving?

It was idiotic to think that Marcel needed me. There were too many rowdy predators here, and I was just going to get in the way. Whatever bonding had occurred between us, my species was too emotional and sensitive. I could never be one of his kind; it was more enjoyable for him to hang with his own people.

Maybe my human was bored of me, now that the alien novelty had worn off. Had I been suffocating the redhead, when I shepherded his recovery? My sentimentality must be grating on his nerves.

All we were to the Terrans was a burden. They had to be gentle with Venlil, and couldn’t be their true selves.

“Slanek.” A rapping sound emanated on the frame, and Marcel’s agitated voice trickled into my ears. Surprise tingled in my chest that he even noticed my departure. “Slanek, open the door.”

“Go away,” I growled.

Regret pulsed through my mind, instantly, but it was too late to take the words back. I didn’t want to hurt him, or push him away. What if this was what Sara meant, when she warned me not to call him a monster? I needed to let him make new friends, if that was what helped his recovery; even if it meant replacing me.

“I can’t do that.” The human tugged at the sliding door, making the frame wobble. “Don’t make me kick this down, ya big fluffer.”

I blinked away the tears, and tried to collect myself. My claws hooked on the locking mechanism, and began to unclasp it. Marcel pushed his way inside the second it opened, and knelt beside me. His hazel gaze softened when he looked at me; judging by the irritation, my eyes were red and puffy.

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” he whispered.

I shook my head. “No.”

“The video games bother you? You think it’s senseless and violent. Predatory?”

“Yeah. But that’s not why I’m crying…at least, I don’t think so.”

“So you’re homesick?”

“Not really. Ah, don’t worry about it. It’s stupid.”

The human crossed his arms, and raised his eyebrows. The unwavering look he gave me stated, I’m not budging until you spill.

A tear strayed down my cheek. “You’ve been different ever since we got on this ship, Marc. I feel like you don’t want me here.”

Marcel recoiled like he’d been slapped, and stared at me in silence. My heart sank; the soldier wasn’t denying it. The human finally shook his head and chuckled, a stubborn grin clinging to his face. How could even a predator find that amusing?

A snarl tugged at my lips. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I am going to laugh at you, when you say something that fucking dumb,” he snorted.

“How is it dumb? It’s like you’ve lost all interest in talking to me, or doing anything together.”

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“Slanek, you’ve been avoiding me with a ten-foot pole. You haven’t so much as wagged your tail at me, and it’s suddenly like any contact with me repulses you. So I’ve been keeping my distance, and trying to figure out what I did.”

“Huh? Don’t you want your…‘personal space?’ I read a lot of books on human psychology to prep for this trip. They said you have an aversion to close contact. I didn’t want to pester or embarrass you in front of the other guys.”

“We have a problem with other humans in our bubble. But you? You’re fine, because you’re cute. Look, anyone that objects to me cuddling you is probably the type of person that kicks puppies for fun. So they can fuck right off.”

A chuckle trilled from my throat. All the predatory stressors compounded my emotions, and it hadn’t even occurred to me that I was the one who withdrew. Marcel was only respecting what he saw as my wishes.

I squinted at him. “You’re having more fun with the other humans, though. You look so happy…and I want you to be…”

“I’m just trying to get to know the guys. We’re going to be fighting alongside of them. I don’t want everyone to treat me like some charity case, just because I’m…” Marcel trailed off, pointing to his pink scars. “That’s all I’m known for, Slanek. I don’t want that.”

“That doesn’t define you. Anyone who thinks it does can ‘fuck right off’, to use your phrase.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry if I made you feel excluded, buddy.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“All is forgiven. So, now that we’re good…can I pick you up?”

As soon as he saw my ears flick, Marcel scooped me up in his arms. I felt joyful as he carried me to the couch, unashamed of our bond. The predator switched off the gaming console, noticing my sigh of relief; I wasn’t sure I wanted to be in his grip while he was focused on simulated death.

“C’mon man! We had one more round,” Tyler protested.

“I felt sorry for you. Mercy rule.” Marcel scratched my forehead, and the other soldier smiled at me too. Somehow, the expression looked much more ferocious on his lips than my human’s. “Besides—”

Our room was plunged into darkness, as the lights snapped out in unison. The transport lurched beneath my paws, and the long-limbed humans reached for nearby furniture to steady themselves. Gojid orbital defenses must’ve nailed us, which meant we entered their orbit.

In the dim lighting, the predators’ faces were cloaked in shadow; it bore a striking resemblance to our prehistoric beasts, lurking in the night. The only thing I could see was the faint glint of Marcel’s eyes, and the rapid movement of his arms. He draped me over his shoulder, while terror numbed my mind.

I could hardly even squirm in his firm grip; not that my body was obeying my brain’s commands. I wanted to protest, but couldn’t manage anything more than squeaks of gibberish.

Slanek, don’t pass out like you did against the Arxur. You’re supposed to be watching out for Marc, I scolded myself. Do you have to freeze, every time you’re in imminent danger? How are you going to make it in a warzone?

Another tremor pounded the transport, and the overhead ceiling creaked. The shields buzzed from the impact's dispersal, but some of the damage trickled through. This Gojid barrage meant an early departure for Terran soldiers launching to the surface; the main vessel wasn’t going to be able to get us as close as they wanted.

“I’m surprised the Gojids found us so soon,” Tyler barked. “What about the ships we sent ahead as decoys? To draw their defenses away?”

I lowered my ears. “I’m sure they predicted your predatory tactics. Ruses and deceit…that’s all you guys.”

Marcel’s fingers tightened around my stomach. “You don’t have to make it sound nefarious, Slanek. Everything we do isn’t predator this, predator that. We just want a tactical advantage.”

“Well, you’re a predator, whether you like it or not. I don’t mean it to be unkind,” I responded. “The Arxur are ambush predators too. We’ve been conditioned to expect them to use stealth, or lure us away.”

Tyler snorted. “We’re not ambush predators though. We’re persi…”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I gaped as Marcel jabbed a heel into the other human’s boot, and caused Tyler’s words to break off. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“Ow, shit. I’m sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Wait, you’re what?” I asked in a tentative voice. “Marcel, why did you stop him? You…you’re s-scaring me, roaring like that.”

My eyes had adjusted to the lighting enough to see my human gritting his teeth. I had been around the Terrans long enough to know that was no smile. It was too strained. He was terrified that immediate disclosure would freak me out.

What secret was Marcel hiding? Didn’t humans have to be ambush predators, primarily? All of our scientists were certain that was their only viable hunting strategy. They were slow, and their brains were their only advantage.

“Do you trust me, Slanek?” he whispered.

I nuzzled his shoulder. “Yes.”

Marcel turned into a hangar bay. “Do you think I’m an…abomination? Like Sovlin and Zarn did?”

“No. You know I don’t.”

“Well, I’d like to keep it that way. I’ll tell you, but not right now. Then, it can be our secret. Okay?”

“F-fine. But I’m not going to forget.”

My friend sighed, and scratched his fresh buzz-cut with frustration. I could tell from how his strides quickened that he didn’t want to convey that information at all. Something about this whole exchange unsettled me deep in my bones.

Wouldn’t any explanation of humanity’s evolution be a good thing? In their position, I would want to put as many scientific questions to rest as I could. It would help galactic leaders make an informed decision about Terran society and inclinations.

Marcel set me on the floor, and slipped a bulky harness over his shoulders. I scrutinized his body language, trying to determine why he wouldn't confide in me. If anything, not defaulting to ambush predation distanced humanity from the Arxur. What could be more heinous than stealth?

“Now, on the topic of trust,” the red-haired human began. “I’m going to strap you to my vest and sedate you. Everything will be alright, I promise.”

“What?” I scrambled backward, and collided tail-first with Tyler. “Why? You…don’t need to knock me out.”

Marcel cinched his vest straps. “You know we’re jumping out of a shuttle from the upper atmosphere. I don’t think you want to be awake for that.”

“W…you…wha…what? NO! I THOUGHT THAT WAS A JOKE!”

“We don’t joke about our crazy military shit,” Tyler chuckled.

My entire body quivered with dread, and my tail bunched up between my legs. Bile rose in my throat, a byproduct of the nausea racking my stomach. This was suicide!

Nobody in their right mind, or even the Arxur, would choose to freefall from the clouds. Tree-dwelling predators like the humans should have some fear of heights, or at least of slipping to their deaths.

Maybe that’s what kind of predators they were? Leaping from great heights onto their prey?

“You won’t remember any of it,” Marcel insisted, creeping toward me. “You’ll just go to sleep, and you’ll wake up on the ground. Leaving you here is not an option, okay?”

The Terran ship pitched to the side, as it was pounded by another enemy assault. The shields rendered a negligible difference this time, and the thunderous jolt made my molars rattle. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to think.

My options were to go up in flames, or to enter a drug-induced state of helplessness, as a predator dragged me toward the ground. The only image in my mind was myself as a splat of blood on the pavement.

What if the sedative wore off before our deaths, and my last moments were hurtling through purple skies at terminal velocity?

I just couldn’t do it, even for Marcel. I was going to tell the humans to leave me, and then figure out something else. As a Venlil, there was always the option for me to surrender myself. The Gojids would take me as a prisoner if I took a shuttle over there, alone…

There was a prick in my neck, and I yelped at the unexpected pain. My eyes blinked open to see Marcel stooped beside me, inserting a needle into my skin. The human already unloaded the entire syringe? With the tranquilizers flowing through my veins, I was going to be at the predators’ mercy.

A scream of horror came from my throat. “NO! PLEASE, DON'T! Marc…”

My eyelids felt impossibly heavy, and my vision shrank to a pinhole. The last thing I remembered was collapsing into the human’s arms, certain he was about to kill us both.