Memory transcription subject: Chief Hunter Isif, Arxur Dominion Sector Fleet
Date [standardized human time]: December 13, 2136
The fact that my appearance horrified Felra left me shaken; the primal rush of adrenaline quelled to something manageable. Bullets assailed the room’s wall, as I was cornered alongside a Dossur and a near-blind human. The unconscious Kolshians, whose legs I had broken, were tied up to a desk as well. Olek flashed his teeth, laughing at the absurdity of our encounter. The urge to roar in his face struck me, but I kept that bottled.
With the gentlest touch I could manage, I scooped up Felra’s tiny form. Her ginger-and-white fur felt puffy beneath my paws. Olek marched over to me, snatching the Dossur out from under my claws. The human opened up his knapsack, and stuffed the herbivore inside. As much as it stung to have my friend taken away, I knew the primate was best-equipped to carry her.
The Kolshian soldiers were camped in an adjacent room, back in the direction we needed to travel. The four mangled corpses and crippled bodies in this room were my handiwork; it was a shame that Felra had witnessed the full brutality. I’d known from the moment we spoke in the chat that she would hate the real me. Interacting with her had been foolish, especially allowing myself to get attached.
“So she’s your friend, huh? But she didn’t know you’re an Arxur?” Olek shouted, over the gunfire.
My eyes formed menacing slits. “A human of all people should know what it’s like to be judged by your species. Also, it’s none of your fucking business.”
“If she was your friend, you would’ve told her.”
“I just wanted to talk to someone! FUCK YOU!”
The Terran soldier rolled his eyes, and scratched the brown fuzz on his chin. Olek’s fur wrapped around his lip in what humans dubbed a “mustache”; it made his flushed cheeks stand out more. I imagined Betterment would’ve culled someone like him, with vision defects that limited his daily function. What good was a hunter without depth perception? I didn’t trust him to protect Felra.
You’ll have to cover for Olek and Felra. And, assuming Lisa hasn’t been gunned down, you have to protect her too. If one of the humans gets shot, the other won’t leave them.
I moved a mirror across Felra’s room, and used it to get a peek at our attackers. Lisa was scooting back across the hallway, in the process of reloading her weapon. There was no crimson blood on the human’s clothes, which was a positive sign. She had been skeptical of my intentions, so I wasn’t sure whether I trusted her to be on my side.
“Why did you believe my story so fast?” I hissed. “Your partner isn’t so sure.”
Olek shrugged. “It checks out. I knew they were up to something, or else, how did they get the Arxur to save Earth?”
“That was my doing. Let’s get Lisa and retrace our steps.”
“You’re only saving one Dossur? There’s others he—”
“The last time I saved some Zurulians from a cattle farm, they cried and screamed at me. Wouldn’t believe for a second that I didn’t want to eat them. I’m here for my friend.”
“We have to—”
“The UN ordered me to help them. The best thing you can do for Earth is keep me alive. Move out!”
I didn’t voice any of my concerns about Olek’s blindness; he seemed to be physically adequate otherwise. As a defective Arxur myself, I wasn’t a supporter of killing the weak and infirm. If I were born a human, I could live a normal life. Felra would’ve cried for my help, rather than passing out at my visage.
Shaking my maw, I took a final look in the mirror. My body was pressed against the floor, and I lined my gun barrel up with the Kolshians. A flurry of fire caused the enemy to hunker within their room; Olek and I scrambled against the adjacent wall. Lisa spotted us, and sprayed her own bullets from the opposite angle.
I steadied my breathing. Olek and I waited for the Federation to make the first move; they wanted to finish sweeping the corridor, before any Dossur could escape. Just by stalling them, we were probably helping a few civilians get off the station. My patience was necessary in waiting for a target. A purple head poked out of the doorway, which resulted in a clean shot through its cranium.
As the Kolshian crumpled to the floor, her body blocked the opening for a second. I pushed Olek forward, crossing the threshold to a waiting Lisa. My legs sprinted right behind them, not slowing for a second. Engaging the enemy or delaying them for other Dossur was not my priority; we needed to get off this station.
“Where is the Dossur?” Lisa chased after me, as Olek hustled after us. “Don’t tell me we risked our asses for nothing.”
I struggled to speak between pants. “Felra is…in Olek’s pack. Now my shuttle…was still operational when I left.”
“Your shuttle? The one in the blown-up tunnel, which took a nasty tumble?”
“You ask many questions…and offer no solutions.”
“We almost suffocated back there! I don’t even remember how we got in that room!”
“And I…kept you alive.”
The two Peacekeepers were hot on my heels, not tiring as we hurried down the hallway. Even with my longer legs, the humans were beginning to outpace me. My breaths were labored, and I was grateful that we reached the sector divider. The Kolshians hadn’t attempted to pursue us, so it should be a clean getaway.
The Terrans followed me into the emergency compartment, and their gazes displayed apprehension. I recovered my oxygen helmet, slipping it back over my head. The primates had no such safety precautions, so if I were a more ruthless Arxur, I could kill them in the airless area. They were dependent on me for survival.
I don’t trust Olek and Lisa not to turn on me in the shuttle. My past experiences with humans haven’t been all pleasant.
The cruel, self-centered thoughts felt as heavy as a rock in my mind. Felra was safe in Olek’s bag, and I wasn’t going to let the Dossur wonder what I did to the Terrans. I wrapped my claws around the two humans’ shirt collars, ignoring their protests. Opening the airlock with my tail, I dragged them a few dozen paces to my shuttle. The primates would be crewing my shuttle, and that was the end of it.
The four of us boarded the shuttle, and I tried not to fixate on what I would say to Felra when she awoke.
---
The battle for Mileau had not gone in our favor, just as I anticipated. There was shock value in an Arxur fleet coming to the Dossur’s aid, but the Kolshians had brought the largest fleet in living memory. The typical strategies we employed, to make the skittish Federation flee, weren’t having their usual effect. When the cowards didn’t run off, their numerical advantage was insurmountable.
The United Nations’ efforts were concentrated on escorting evacuation ships, rather than holding the system. The fortunate news was that the Federation were not bombing the planet; their ground occupation meant this wasn’t a life-or-death contest. We could compile a greater number of ships, and return to take the planet back.
However, the Arxur’s intervention need to draw to a close. Messages from Prophet-Descendant Giznel had flooded in, demanding to know why I defended Mileau. He demanded that I withdraw all forces from the system, or he would send someone to “dispose of me like Shaza.” My execution was still on the table, especially if my rescue mission became known.
“All Arxur ships, Betterment has ordered us to pull back. These Dossur are not worth significant losses of this caliber.” I looked at my data feed, surmising that our ship capacity had been halved. The Federation count had dropped by a few thousand, but our forces would be depleted sooner. “Cover any Terran allies retreating from the system. If you can get off parting shots at the Federation, do it.”
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A weak squeak filtered into my ears, and my head whipped around. Felra had been placed atop a wadded-up blanket; her tiny whiskers had been twitching in her slumber. Lisa was sitting next to her, wearing one of those asinine visors that humans caved to. A small part of me wished there was a mask that could hide my face. Even if I covered my optical receptors, the serrated teeth were a dealbreaker.
“H-human,” the Dossur croaked. “Where…am I?”
Lisa pursed her lips with sympathy. “You’re on an evacuation shuttle. How much do you remember?”
Felra’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she nibbled her lower lip. I could tell she was running through the details of the Federation attack, in chronological order. It was apparent when she hit the terrifying moment, when I had burst through the door to save her. Perhaps she didn’t remember that the ghastly Arxur had used her pen pal’s name…
“G-gray snapped K-Kolshian’s neck,” she squeaked. “Said it was…S-siffy.”
The Dossur’s pupils surveyed the room, alight with panic. I quickly swiveled around in my chair, as her gaze landed on me. I wanted to melt into the floorboards, and cease my existence then and there. For some reason, her terror felt like a knife wound to the chest. What I’d told her on the messaging service was correct: I deserved to be alone.
Lisa cleared her throat. “Isif can’t hurt you. You don’t have to look at him.”
Felra sniffled. “…Isif? N-not—”
“Siffy is a nickname given to me by a Gojid child,” I growled. “A refugee who was taken in by a human. Someone I cared about on Earth.”
Great. Now you admitted your affection toward Nulia too. You’re losing your grip.
Sitting here now, the stupidity of my actions slapped me in the snout. Mobilizing an entire war fleet to defend the Dossur, all because of a few internet chats with a false premise, was insanity. Felra hated me, and she had every reason to; her first impression of me was when I killed four Kolshians with natural weapons. The species she was actually intrigued by was sitting next to her, comforting her over me.
The Dossur buried her head in the blanket, nose twitching. Tiny tears leaked from her eyes, and her sides rose and fell in shaking intervals. The humans seemed to pity her, from what I could glean. Olek was peering over the top of his book; per the visual translator, the title read Why the United Nations REALLY funded FTL research. I had a vague curiosity as to the contents of the pages, but this was not the time to ask.
I don’t even think he’s actually reading it, given that he can’t see. He’s just pretending not to stare at Felra.
Olek slammed his book shut. “Maybe pipe down over there, Siffy. You’re only making it worse for her.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“In the future, you should disclose to people that you’re an Arxur, before you expect them to respond well to you.”
“I told her I was a predator; I never once claimed to be human! I allowed the idea to linger, perhaps because I wish I truly was one of you. I…I wanted to talk to someone.”
Lisa studied the crying Dossur with concern. “What made you think it was a good idea to talk to a Fed, not a human? We understand you, somewhat.”
“…Tarva, yes, the Venlil governor, thought I needed to understand herbivores. And also, you chatterbox tree-swingers hate us. You can’t keep the disgust out of your voice, when it’s between us and the leaf-lickers. You swoop in to protect them, just like you’re doing now!”
“Because we know you’re animals. My sister was in a bunker outside Barcelona, and you grays arrived to clear the tunnel. They watched you pull small animals from the grass, and eat them live. A few cats were swallowed whole!”
“Companion animals…sensitive topic, yes? Alas, they do not know what I understand about your cats and dogs. Cultural misunderstanding, which I will not make.”
“I’m going to stop you right there; wolfing down a kitten is not a cultural misunderstanding,” Olek chimed in. “A cultural misunderstanding is giving the thumbs up gesture, and not realizing it’s a middle finger in some countries. The difference is, there’s no death or animals getting eaten in my example.”
Felra shrieked in irritation. “STOP! SHUT UP!”
A veil of silence was draped across the room. It would be comical for an outside observer to witness the tiny rodent, silencing three predators with a single order. I was relieved that the Dossur regained her composure enough to make demands. My eyes studied her tiny form, as she lifted her tear-stained head.
“‘T-to censor myself as humans do,’” Felra quoted. “The c-constant mention of scaring me off. He fucking told me…”
He? Gendered pronouns?
“I’ve watched v-vids about humans. I know how they act,” the Dossur continued. “And I noticed that S-siffy was not like them. He said he wasn’t like t-them, multiple times.”
I blinked several times. “I am not like them. If you wish for someone to coddle you in a baby voice, you’ll have to issue that request to them.”
“D-don’t tell them about that!”
“Sorry. Too late.”
Olek and Lisa shared a look of pure confusion, mouthing a few words to each other. The male human mimicked an adoring expression, and stretched his binocular eyes wide. He mimed a petting motion, running his rough palm down his book cover. Lisa snickered, before waving a hand in front of her throat. The Dossur whined in annoyance. If Felra was a Terran, her cheeks would be flush with embarrassment.
“Damn it. W-why are you here, Siffy?” Felra focused her attention on me, and her whiskers twitched with fear. “W-what…are you going to do w-with me?”
My nostrils flared. “I do not know. I came to save you. I did not think past that, or about how to handle the consequences. I am not going to harm you, but...”
“B-but?”
“I cannot take you anywhere an Arxur would go. Just by coming here, I have ruined my cover. Betterment, that is our government’s enforcement wing, will be suspicious of me at best. I might’ve just destroyed my chance at demolishing the Arxur Dominion from the inside.”
“B-back up. D-demolish…Dominion?”
“They are cruel, and they are starving us purposefully…so that we are animals, as Lisa said. It goes so far beyond that though, Felra. The reason all Arxur seem devoid of emotions or care is because Betterment culls anyone who exhibits empathy. It goes back to your question of whether I have predator disease.”
“You d-definitely do.”
“Actually, I am the lone Arxur tested by the United Nations to pass an empathy test. I guess I have ‘prey disease.’ I’ve always had softer emotions, and I didn’t find social contact grating like most of my kind. Hiding those two…differences kept me alive.”
“Most Arxur do tire of us talking to them,” Lisa noted.
“Because they are not interested in your mundane lives. Even I find it bizarre how you wage war on silence, though your kind are quite intriguing to me. At any rate, I have no way to make friends among my own people, and I doubt I could pass as human on your internet.”
Olek chuckled. “You definitely couldn’t. Your speech comes off as stilted, and you don’t seem to know the appropriate response to most things.”
“I am a little short on practice. Formal speech is my sole outlet, yes? And the things I’ve done to survive justify calling me a monster, so in essence, I do deserve to be alone. However, it was nice to understand what friendship feels like for a brief moment. Thank you, Felra.”
I turned my attention back to the cabin controls, satisfied that I’d said my piece to the Dossur. She had been an excellent friend, while our doomed relationship lasted. It was time for me to accept that my isolation was fated; this was why my defective side was dangerous. Everything I had worked to build was forfeit, including the friendship I’d forfeited it all for.
My mind zoned out, as I set a course for Proxima Centauri (a system the Terrans used as a staging ground). I wasn’t foolish enough to fly to Earth again, no matter how sorry Zhao claimed to be. However, Felra and these two humans needed to be dropped off in UN territory. After that, it was time to face my likely execution with dignity and grace.
Even my smooth tongue would have a difficult time talking a way out of this with Giznel. He’s livid.
A handful of pricks registered at the tip of my tail, and startled me half to death. My conscious mind barely reacted in time to prevent a devastating lash; I froze up, trying to assess the situation. If those blasted primates were poking me with a sedative, I was going to rip their throats out this time. I wasn’t keen on being in UN custody again.
The poking sensation moved up my spine, as if tiny hooks were ascending my sloped posture. I inhaled heavily through my nostrils, scenting warm blood belonging to a Dossur. What in the stars was Felra doing? It bewildered me that she’d left the comfort of her blanket, and the overprotective humans crowding it.
Felra perched herself atop my skull, right behind my eyes. “Okay! We’re going to d-do this together, but you’ll have to, er, t-tell me more about you.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I hissed in disbelief.
“You s-said you didn’t think past saving me. I don’t want anything to happen to you, so we s-should think about it now, together.”
“I am sorry about Mileau. You are under no obligation to speak with me, or continue in this vein of friendship. I am incapable of leaving this ship at the moment, but I would let you mourn in peace.”
“T-The Kolshians are reeducating my people. I’m not captured now, b-because of you. You’re Siffy, and I’m g-glad I know the truth.”
“I can smell your fear, Felra. It is very potent.”
“…I am s-scared of the humans too, for what it’s worth.”
I jabbed my tail toward the flimsy primates. “Hmph, them? They’re lousy predators. They couldn’t hunt with their bare hands if they wanted to! Olek can’t even see.”
“You broke my glasses, asshole!” the male human protested.
“The Arxur would still cull you for needing vision goggles. Not that I agree with that.”
Lisa narrowed her eyes. “What about me? Would I be on the chopping block?”
“You ask too many questions, and you’re repulsed by eating live animals. Most Arxur would space you, just for that.”
The female Terran snorted, as her pupils fixated on the Dossur atop my head. Olek’s expression had gained a bit more levity too, since Felra made herself a physical accessory. Knowing how the human brain worked, the psychotic primates thought the sight was “cute.” Just having the rodent in my proximity probably made me adorable to them by extension.
That thought didn’t seem as repugnant to me as it once would. I couldn’t believe that Felra still cared about me; I had a friend that accepted my defective, physical form. Maybe one day, she’d be able to approach me without reeking of terror. Venlil had grown acclimated to the humans, after all.
With two humans warming up to me and a Dossur’s help, perhaps we could find a way to unseat Betterment. My sector hadn’t been lost yet.