Memory Transcription Subject: Taylor Trench, Human Colonist
Date [standardized human time]: August 11, 2160
The silver lining that came from Gress’ outburst was that General Radai had been kind enough to grant me a brief leave, to take care of him. I feared that the sweet Krev should be on suicide watch, after what Mafani had implied about the Jaslip incident. The carnivores had already been wrathful about the Esquo Massacre being unnecessary, but this was pouring fuel on the fire. Radai, for his part, had been demanding answers. While the truth of what happened to the Sivkits should’ve been an overall morale booster, it was muddied by the general’s insistence on a public hearing to probe into Underscale involvement. My exchange partner didn’t seem to doubt what Mafani had said, as if he knew it was the truth when he heard it. I longed for an explanation, so I could try to help Gress sift through this nightmare, but I was being patient with the former hostage negotiator.
Either way, the Krev had been discharged from his role as a comms technician in the Consortium military. While I wanted to be a part of protecting Tellus and acquiring answers, there was no scenario in which I’d leave him; my own spot in the military was in question, without him there. Quana and Cherise were wonderful friends, trustworthy and spirited, but they were only that—friends. Gress was something more to me; he was the good part of me, the elusive “better Taylor Trench.” I had to be here as Radai’s public hearing took place today, demanding answers from the KC black ops. Most ark ship colonists were much more focused on this being the Sivkits’ homeworld, and how we should handle that factor: to think that their ruins were beneath our feet this whole time, and the Federation was more sinister than even we imagined!
Once, I would’ve been refocusing revenge plans and hatred for xenos too; I am worried about our planet’s safety, and humanity’s last survivors being found. But ultimately, there’s not much I can do to change the broader circumstances. I can be here to steady Gress, as he’s done a thousand times for me. I can choose love.
The Krev was curled into a ball on the couch, as the television set ticked down a timer for when Radai’s hearing would begin. It was the first time he’d left his bed all week; I’d been bringing him food he hardly touched. He’d completely withdrawn after his discharge—which I thought was unfair, given that Quana only received a disciplinary action for also pulling the trigger. The unforgivable offense was turning the weapon on the Resket general, but I knew that Gress hadn’t been thinking logically. I was grateful that he’d stopped me from taking Mafani out, since he was right about it deepening the scars and further damaging my life. Then again, had I known what my exchange partner was about to do, I would’ve pulled the trigger myself to spare him this pain. My own mind ached, wondering why Underscales would want to shoot the Jaslip children, fulfilling the terrorists’ threat.
“Gress? Please talk to me. You can’t drown in yourself, not after hearing what they did,” I whispered. “I know you think everyone hates you, but I think you changed the way Quana looks at you; she knows that you care, and that you weren’t to blame. You read the Jaslips right that day, if they weren’t actually going to kill the kids.”
The Krev sniffled. “I did nothing but serve the Consortium, Taylor. Nothing. I worked alongside the Listeners…the secret police…for years to solve cases, and they’d do this to me. They knew I was soft on kids. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this.”
“I’m right where I want to be. Besides, the Consortium will take eons to actually plan Sivkit recon, especially with Radai’s whole Underscale witch hunt going on. He’ll get justice. People will know the truth.”
“Don’t be so sure. The proof is from Mafani, a known sociopath and traitor—someone who hurt you. I should’ve shot him on sight for that, but I was trying not to encourage anger and vengeance.”
“But you didn’t. He specifically provoked you, and we can show it’s an isolated PTSD incident…get you treatment. There has to be some way to get you back in the game—to have this undone.”
“I don’t want anything about my discharge undone, Taylor. I won’t serve the Consortium, ever again.”
Gress is talking now. This is a good sign, that maybe he’s ready to open up and…process what happened. God, I’m going to be shit at comforting him. I’ve never done this sort of thing.
I nodded, patting his paw gently. “Okay. Then I’m done too. We can…start that Tellus massage parlor you wanted.”
“No. I won’t let you throw your life away, the first time you’re able to do the things you’ve dreamed of and stand up for yourself. I’m not that selfish.”
My heart broke into tiny pieces, seeing him beat himself up. I didn’t want him to push me away. “I am that selfish, Gress. I want you. I’ve wanted you for quite some time. You’re everything I ever dreamed of, and more. You’re the only good thing in my universe. I’m…nothing without you.”
The Krev finally poked his head out from his curled up state, and his puffy, tear-stained eyes shone with surprise. I met his gaze as a surge of nerves made the hairs on my arm stand up; the weight of his judgment had me feeling like I wanted to die, or retract the words I’d just breathed into existence. What on Earth had I been thinking, admitting how out of control my affection had gotten for him; how totally smitten and enamored I was speaking with him? These kinds of leanings were selfish, given how every ark colonist had needed to contribute to the next generation. There were expectations, yet here I was…professing that dark truth to a xeno. Not to mention how unhelpful it was in comforting him. What was I thinking, confessing that to him now?
The arrogance to even fathom that Gress could want you, Taylor: a desperate, broken, rash mess, who leaves a trail of destruction in his wake. Nobody could ever love you. Deep down, you know it.
I tried to stop the despairing frown from taking over my face, since I knew I needed to put Gress first. An apology, followed by an offer to leave, would be a good start. I’d just ruined our friendship, like I ruined everything else. Maybe the way he’d hugged me before jumping into the Sivkit ruins, or told me that he cared for me while simply trying to be supportive, had let my imagination run wild. Perhaps it was that he was the polar opposite from how aliens were supposed to be, since I’d never dreamed they’d love and not hate us. Who was I kidding—I would be a terrible partner, and the fact I’d said such a tone-deaf thing now proved it. There was no reason to force Gress to reject me, when he needed help putting his life back together.
“I care very deeply for you, but…” the Krev trailed off. Here it comes. The but. “I don’t want to hurt you, the way I became a threat to Lecca. You could’ve gotten hurt, standing in Radai’s way, because I lost control. I scared off one partner already because I can’t trust my brain. You deserve someone who can be…stable. Dependable.”
My mouth parted in surprise, hearing Gress mirror my thoughts on being a bad significant other. “You can be stable and dependable. You could never scare me off either. I understand what it’s like, and—shit, I’m certainly not stable. You are a strong, beautiful soul…my rock. I want to try to be like that for you.”
Gress seemed noticeably more alive and responsive than he had since Mafani’s words drove daggers into his very soul. The Krev reached out with a paw and grabbed my hand, sending chills down my spine; his claws intertwined with my fingers, and he held on quietly. I curled my digits around his smooth skin, letting our entangled grip fall onto the couch. My binocular eyes blinked rapidly, in disbelief for a variety of reasons—for what this meant for us both, and where we even went from here. I didn’t have a clue how to handle this, with the cultural disparities and…getting eaten alive by panic wasn’t the thing to do in front of Gress. Regardless of whether I was in over my head, we could just sit here like this and watch Radai’s broadcast.
The Resket general had strolled up onto an elevated platform, with a gaze that could melt ice. Radai would screech in my face and hurl pejorative threats at me, but he’d never looked so murderous. As an honorable leader, the pink ratite must feel absolute disdain for the Underscales—and their director had just arrived per the Delegatory Summons. A prominent Consortium leader voicing the idea that black ops was behind the Jaslips’ deaths had been enough for the carnivores to believe it; they didn’t hold their alien allies in high esteem. Radai and Director Wrolle, a Trombil that literally had a gun in place of his right forepaw, engaged in a staring contest. I wondered for a moment if the avian would challenge the Underscale leader to a duel, for the Consortium’s honor.
The general narrowed his massive eyes further. “Director Wrolle. Let’s get down to business. Did a Resket officer named Mafani, who was a recent fugitive on Tellus, once act as one of your operatives?”
“There are records of Mafani having served with the Underscales. Many of his operations are classified, in the interest of interplanetary security,” Wrolle answered robotically.
“Consider anything I ask about unclassified. Mafani stated that he was present during the infamous Jaslip hostage situation, where the presumed story was that these extremists shot their own children after Gress opted to free Krev leadership. What would an Underscale have been doing at the scene of a crime—a public spectacle?”
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
“An Underscale wouldn’t have been there. Unless Mafani acted alone for nefarious purposes, which is not impossible given his sociopathic tendencies…we had nothing to do with the incident.”
“Mafani had intimate knowledge of the crime; details only Gress and those who were there would know, beyond the public record.”
“Again, this is a sociopath who likely wanted to mess with the ex-negotiator. According to my records, Gress was with your team. There’s ample reason to believe Mafani had a grudge with the former officer and his entire circle. It’s documented, by you.”
“You’re not listening, Director Wrolle. Mafani knew details of the incident that he could not have known without being there—such as how a kit died in Gress’ arms, down to the exact placement of the wound. He took credit for firing the lethal neck shot, to allow the child to live just long enough to die in front of the negotiator.”
“There are any number of ways Mafani could’ve obtained that information. Accessing police records illicitly, finding a memory scan from a witness, speaking with others there to research Gress—again, he was obsessed. The only proof you have is the story of a maniacal, sadistic would-be killer, and I wouldn’t say this is a reliable source. I’m disappointed you’d buy into such a dastardly narrative about the Consortium, Radai.”
“Such a claim deserves to be investigated; I’m disappointed you would recruit someone of Mafani’s mental disposition. Can you prove that the Underscales were not behind the Jaslip kits’ deaths? Have we done a bullet analysis, and compared that to the guns shown on the Jaslips’ video?”
“There wasn’t much investigation to be done, since there was video of the Jaslips lining up their children for execution. The idea that we would’ve had assets in place, and not acted while we had a chance to save Consortium officials, is utterly farcical. Police also stated that they were unable to get close enough to the hostages, or otherwise access the crime site. My operatives are well-trained, but how would we even have gotten ‘into position?’”
“What I know is Mafani sure had an awful lot of knowledge, and was a step ahead of the rest of us. How did he know about the Sivkit bunker, Wrolle?”
The Trombil leaned toward the microphone, shell glow intensifying with irritation. “I can’t ask him, since your soldiers killed him before we could question how he found it. You would’ve sabotaged our chance yourself, since I hear you were planning to duel him.”
“I don’t back down from an open challenge. I also don’t take it lightly when I find I am missing the full information.”
“Mafani had not worked with the Underscales for years—well before he was stationed on Tellus, and discovered this ancient bunker. This new intelligence changes the war planning for all of us, General; we are fighting a serious threat. Whatever you think of the Underscales, security from the Federation is our chief concern. Did you consider this sociopath wanted to sow doubts between us, as a final form of revenge?”
“I already have serious doubts in the Underscales, with your dishonorable methods.”
“Terrorists are the dishonorable ones, and the simplest, least paranoid explanation is that they killed the kits—just like they said they would. Mafani’s conspiracy theories have no basis in reality. He sought the suffering of others, and his claims about our organization were most likely borne of that, and a deep-rooted jealousy. This was not a sane or credible individual.”
Gress switched off the screen in disgust, eyes narrowed to slits. I wasn’t fond of the Underscales any more than Radai, but I couldn’t deny that Wrolle had a point; we’d bought the story Mafani fed us hook, line, and sinker. The Krev’s instantaneous belief was what swayed me, but his judgment was clouded when it came to this incident. What if it was just a parting shot by the Resket, one which was tailored to Gress and Quana alike? The avian had wanted to exact revenge on us, and this would be a perfect success. There really wasn’t any credibility to his story at face value, unless my Krev had some reason to believe the Consortium would’ve wanted to “get rid of” him.
I hope Gress can talk to me about how he’s feeling, rather than let it consume him alone. He’s logical and knew Mafani was trying to rile him up; there has to be a reason he still thought that incendiary claim was true. Unless it was just the inside info—if that’s the case, Wrolle had a point.
“What did I tell you? Don’t be so sure; Mafani is easily discredited, and they’d never admit it. Nobody except a few Jaslips will believe his claim after today,” the Krev huffed.
I pretended not to notice his sharp claws curling into the back of my hand. “Maybe talking about it would help you release the anger. I want to understand why you believe Mafani, when you knew all along that he can’t be trusted.”
“Because…as s-soon as he said it, I saw why they’d want to. The Listeners should’ve warned me about the plans to execute the k-kids, unless it was a setup! Like, you’re telling me they wouldn’t have picked up a social media broadcast of children lined up for execution?! In my heart, I knew Mafani was telling the truth. Maybe I…always knew, and didn’t want to accept it.”
“But…why? Why would the Consortium want to make martyrs of terrorists; to kill children? Why would they want to hurt you?”
“It’s so simple. Think about it. It gives the Jaslips someone to direct their blame, their fury at, that’s not the Consortium—someone uninvolved! I become the target for their hate and their ire, instead of speaking about Esquo or their enclaves’ security policies. It also discredits the extremists’ grievances to the other species, making them look like lunatic terrorists who would kill their own kids. Bonus that such a public incident gives cause to tighten security measures on the Jaslips.”
“I…I didn’t think your people would do that. Humans joined the Consortium, and now, I find out they’d kill their own citizens?!”
“You need the Consortium, Taylor; you don’t have a choice. Our military will fight your war for you, and protect you. Shit, you need us to rebuild your populace; you can’t leave. Our…government just takes an entirely ‘keeping us safe is worth any sacrifice’ approach, with total fucking disregard for morality or lives! The Jaslips were a threat. I was a threat.”
I squeezed his paw tightly for a moment. “Why would you be a threat? You were someone that worked for them keeping people safe: what you said was their goal. You did a lot of good.”
“There was one rule that I was taught as soon as I joined the force, about the secret police’s surveillance apparatus. Don’t ask questions. I broke it. I looked into the Listeners in search of a rogue operative. That showed them I was willing to step out of line; that very suspect called me, right before I was sent to the Jaslip incident, and told me they’d turned on me. It was planned, Taylor, and I just brushed it off!”
I arched an eyebrow, catching an off fact amid what Gress had hissed. “Hold on. You questioned this suspect, and the problem was that they had info above your paygrade. Am I following this?”
“I don’t interrogate suspects; shit, I wasn’t supposed to keep digging once the hostage was free. Not my job. No, this guy called me. He wanted me to continue his work, and become a vigilante. I’m not sure how seriously I was thinking it over, but I was considering it to some degree. If they knew that part—that was strike two, as you humans say.”
“You, a vigilante?! I can’t see it. You’re not the type to just…go around knocking people off.”
“Of course I wouldn’t have; that wasn’t what he wanted me to do. There were people who got away with evil acts, which the eye in the sky saw. It would’ve been a different kind of vigilantism. Exposing, arresting the ones who got away, because the Listeners didn’t think it was worth using their resources. Whereas I think everyone is worth saving…except Mafani.”
“Let’s not worry about him now. I’m glad you confided in me. The good news is that Radai is looking into this all now; there’s a chance we could expose the system, and stop any more calculated killings from happening again. We can bring down the whole house; I’d back whatever you chose.”
“I still have the list that rogue Listener gave me. Names of people who got away with their misdeeds. It’s not too late to go after them, for all of the harm they caused. I don’t trust the Consortium, and sure, it’s a blatant challenge to the Listeners, but I…don’t care about the risks anymore. Let them cart me off to Omnol Valley, or shoot me dead for doing the right thing. They didn’t take me out after all.”
My eyes widened in alarm. “Gress, if you think there’s a serious chance this would get you killed, or thrown in a deep, dark hole, please don’t. You should care what happens to you. Lecca needs her father, and even Juvre needs someone to drop insects in his grubby obor mitts. You and I could still have a life, a peaceful and happy life, right here on Tellus. I thought you wanted that too.”
“I just want to finish what I should’ve done: the right thing. The Consortium has already decided to sacrifice these ‘low-value’ victims. If I don’t do something to help, nobody will. I won’t put you or Lecca in danger; and this is why I said I was worried about hurting you, or being a threat to you. You should let me scare you off, Taylor, because I don’t want you involved in any of this. I told you too much as is, but I just can’t do nothing anymore—it’ll be just like the kits, who I didn’t save.”
“You couldn’t have saved the kits. That outcome was already decided.” I bit my lower lip, contemplating a way to stop the Krev from plunging headlong into danger, while heeding his wishes to right the wrongs the Consortium didn’t care about. “What if there was another way? Someone with power, and who wouldn’t be easy to get rid of: who is already investigating the government’s underbelly? Someone honorbound to make it right.”
“General Radai?! You can’t be serious. I just…stuck a gun in his face!”
“Radai wants to protect people and to see Resket justice. If he’s holding an investigation of things that are classified from the public, he could expose the cases the Consortium overlooked. It’s at least proof of where the secret police’s values lie. And we know if we give him the files, he won’t turn it straight over to the Underscales. He doesn’t approve of them.”
The Krev’s tongue flicked out of his mouth in thought, while pride glimmered in his eyes: he was pleased with me for coming up with a rational plan. “That just might be the best way to put the Listeners, Underscales, and the whole system in the hot seat, and to ensure something gets done about the ones who’ve been forgotten. It might be the only way to…apologize for my unforgivable conduct. Radai didn’t deserve that.”
“You didn’t hurt Radai. You waved a gun threateningly toward his head, but you didn’t actually do anything; it wasn’t his blood on your claws, you hear me? He knows you lost it, and that it’s not indicative of your character. You’re a good man. We’re going to right some old wrongs, because that’s who you are. A sweetheart—my sweetheart.”
Gress cuddled closer to me with gratitude, resting his head against my shoulder. I savored the peaceful moment of body warmth passing between us, grateful that I’d talked him out of a suicide mission. If there was anyone that could help bring down the rot in the Consortium’s hearts, it was General Radai. The Resket could facilitate some good out of Gress’ disastrous realization of how the Consortium betrayed him, and allow the sweet Krev to see that he was still more than capable of saving people and trusting his heart. The scars of the past didn’t have to define either of us.