Memory transcription subject: Slanek, Venlil Civilian

Date [standardized human time]: February 5, 2137

The awkwardness between Marcel and I hung in the air, though the human forced some small talk. My exchange partner had stayed on the quarantine station for longer than any other patient, even after the infected were all cleared to leave. I didn’t pry into his affairs, but the mention of moving to Venlil Prime hadn’t sat well with his fiancé, Lucy. She was growing exhausted of the redhead running around the galaxy, and was less-than-thrilled at the prospect of leaving Earth behind. The Zurulian doctors had passed along rumors that they heard Marc yelling into his holopad.

The scarred predator had reported my crime to the United Nations, and admitted it when I came to speak with him after reading Frankenstein. Marcel thought he was doing me a favor, by qualifying his report with me being mentally ill and with unknown variables from the Venlil news in the Archives. The fact that my species were once fierce warriors unsettled me; we were twisted into something that I didn’t comprehend. The instinct suppression program had stirred something that changed me back. Feeling like a science experiment gone wrong, the moral of Frankenstein landed.

I am the monster. A deformed, angry man…and I know what I must do.

I interrupted the human’s current train of conversation, which was regarding rainforests on Earth. “You can’t even look at me.”

“What do you want me to say, Slanek? I’m, well, upset at my own people as much as you,” Marcel growled. “When I notified UN command, they claimed that the video logs from your helmet cam, ah, went missing. Then, they pull some under the table stuff with the Venlil military to give you a quiet, honorable discharge. It’s bullshit.”

“I didn’t want a discharge. I want to go back to the war.”

“No! You told me you read the book, and you understood.”

“I did, I finished it weeks ago. You’re still not ready to talk.”

“Slanek, who was the one dodging every question of substance? I don’t need to hear any more lies from you. You just want me to let it go, but we can’t rewind the clock on our friendship. I trust very deeply, and you broke that. The only reason I’m coming with you is because I want you to get help. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

I rose to my feet, as the near-vacant train stopped near my hometown. “You think I damned myself. I heard your interpretation of the book. What’s the point if I’ve already fucked everything over?”

His hazel eyes glistened. “I couldn’t bear to watch you go off the deep end. I loved you, the brother I never had, Slanek. I still do. But this hatred is festering inside of you, and it’s turning you into someone I don’t recognize.”

“Everything I did, I did because I cared about you. Because I didn’t want you, or anyone like you, to get hurt! No matter what you think of me, I’m still here when you need me. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of on Venlil Prime.”

The predator’s stare intensified, and he placed his hands on my shoulders. Marcel turned me around forcibly, inspecting me with a look that screamed alarm. As bitter as I sounded right now, it offered slight comfort to know that the human still cared about me. The way I regarded him was like the brother I lost; perhaps my dependency on him was from fear of loss. The prospects of the Terran having no choice but to cling to me, due to the effects of the disease, were enticing. This was an alien world that he'd need to be coaxed into!

Unfortunately, my calling is much more urgent; the things that were done to me, to all Venlilkind, must be reckoned for. I’ll try to set Marcel up for success.

“How you said that…it was like you’re not coming back. Are you going to hurt yourself?” His voice had become much softer, and he shook his head emphatically. “It doesn’t have to end like this. You made a mistake, I won’t sugarcoat, but it doesn’t have to define you forever. I’ll help you.”

I straightened my ears in earnest. “I’m not going to self-harm—that was a dark assumption. I just need to go somewhere else to sort out my issues.”

“Of course, that’s exactly what you should do! I’m, um, really happy to hear that.”

“See? I did understand. I’m a monster, and I need to do something about the things that made me one.”

The Kolshians. The Farsul. The history being burned from the ledger.

“I wouldn’t put it like that, but yeah!” Marcel declared, with a bit too much enthusiasm. “It takes a brave person to seek help. You got this, buddy.”

Breaking away from the human, I led him down the sidewalk toward my childhood home; the cerulean rowhouse with crumbling paint had “character” and “eccentricity”, as my mother put it. The last thing I wanted was to speak to my parents, knowing that they would be ashamed of the predatory creature their child had become. However, Marcel needed a place to stay, and I couldn’t take care of my business until I knew he’d be looked after. My plea to the universe was that my folks weren’t anti-Terran bigots.

Swallowing my hesitation, I ordered Marcel to wait at the bottom of the stairs. During my deployment on Sillis, that had been when I recognized the onset of what any normal Venlil would call predator disease. Onso cautioned me never to repeat that phrase again, but it would be tough to hide how much I changed. The Yotul had been correct about us being “fired up” before the Federation got us. Steeling my swirling nerves, my claws tapped the buzzer. As seconds passed waiting, flight impulses tugged at my mind for the first time in a while.

The door creaked open, before the elderly female Venlil behind it spotted us. Her transition to throw her arms around me was near instantaneous; I stood in numb silence as my mother sobbed into my shoulder. She stepped back at last, cupping my chin with pure joy. The guilt threatened to consume me, especially as a hint of fury tugged at her ears. I noticed her pupils dart briefly to Marcel, though she ignored him.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Slanek! You haven’t contacted us in months,” she hissed. “We had no way of knowing if you were dead, and we saw you on the news with…him. The government told us you moved to Earth, during the raid, then we only found out you were alive by hearing you shipped off to Sillis.”

I flicked my ears. “I’m sorry. There’s some things I didn’t want you to know.”

“Do you have any idea what you put us through, by deciding what we should know? Come here, human.”

Marcel shifted on his feet. “Are you sure, Miss…shit, you guys don’t have last names. I don’t want to call you ‘Miss Slanek.’”

“Call me Jensi. I obviously know who you are, Marcel Fraser. Thank you for bringing my son home.”

“Sure thing. It was harrowing out there, Jensi. We’ve been through a lot together.”

“But we don’t need to talk about that,” I interjected. “You’re…more calm around Marcel than I expected.”

“I play mahjong with my human coworkers a few times a season. They have such wonderful gossip!” My mother gestured toward the hallway. “Please, come in, both of you. Your father is grabbing groceries, but he’ll be back.”

I pinned my ears back with discomfort, as Jensi dragged me inside. The human removed his shoes at the doorstep, not wanting to track dirt inside, I presumed. Marcel hadn’t been happy when I got mud on his couch back on Earth. How I wished I could rewind the clock to those days. This wasn’t where I belonged anymore, and I needed to make a quick exit before my mother realized her son was an unlovable monster.

You want Jensi to remember you as the thoughtful, well-mannered young man you once were. Not as this thing.

“Listen, I’m not going to be staying long,” I hissed.

Jensi issued an adamant no tail signal. “Nonsense! I’m going to fix you boys a nice lunch, and you’re going to tell me everything you’ve been up to.”

“I don’t want to—I can’t. Marc, can I have a minute to talk to her…alone?”

The human nodded, and turned an inquisitive gaze on my mother. She pointed with her tail toward the living room, at the far end of the hallway. I watched as the Terran faded from earshot, grateful for the knowledge that their hearing was subpar. What I was about to impart to my mother wasn’t something I wanted Marcel to be aware of. It had crossed my mind to leave him a note, but that might induce him to interfere with my plans.

Hurt flashed in Jensi’s eyes. “How can you leave so soon after being gone for so long? Do we not matter to you at all, Slanek?”

“Look, I don’t think I’m coming back, Mom. Don’t ask why. There’s things I have to do. I’m here for Marcel’s sake, because the Kolshians ‘cured’ him and he has nowhere to go. Please, if you still love me, take him in and care for him. That’s my only wish.”

“I have nothing against your friend, but asking me to let him move in, with no set timeframe, is a big ask. I don’t know him, and he’s not my son. You are.”

“Pretend Marcel is your son. He’ll be a better son than I ever was. Please, I beg you. Nothing is more important to me than knowing he’s safe.”

“We’ll help him get back on his feet, at least for a little while. Why don’t you just stay a little longer, Slanek—you can’t run off saying I'll never see you again! Tell me what’s going on with you.”

“It’s not important. Whatever happens next, it wasn’t your fault.” I ducked back out the front door, shaking off her efforts to tug me back inside. “I’m sorry, Mom, I really am. Tell him I’m sorry too.”

Without any further hesitation, I found myself sprinting as far away from home as my crooked legs would carry me. Memories of playing with my brother kindled my own tears, and the sobbing turned hysterical as I reminisced on my adventures with Marcel. The human believed I was getting help, but I knew it was too late for anything to be done. He hadn’t wanted me to stay, given his claim that our friendship couldn’t be restored to its former state. Jensi would ensure that he adjusted to Venlil Prime, and didn’t end up destitute on the streets.

It’s okay, Slanek. You were always a liability to him; he’s better off without you. They all are.

My lungs burned, forcing me to slow from my breakneck run. The merciless sun beat down overhead, its reddish glow permeating my bushy fur like it was punishing me. I forced myself to keep moving; I couldn’t afford to miss the train and allow Marcel or Jensi to chase after me. No matter what happened next, I hoped neither thought it was their fault. There was nothing that could make me regret my time in the exchange program, and meeting my gentle, vegetarian predator.

I shimmied inside a train car just as the doors were closing, and collapsed on a bench with a heavy sigh. The knapsack on my back had felt light until now, since it contained only meager belongings. I slid it onto the floor in front of me, allowing myself a short break from hauling it around. An automated voice declared that we were heading to Orial, a farming village; I hadn’t checked where the transit was headed before hopping on. I could keep riding until it reached a large city, one where I could find a spaceport. It gave me time to iron out my plans.

“Goodbye, Marcel. I won’t disappoint you anymore,” I whispered, bowing my head in mourning.

My paws retrieved the Frankenstein book he’d given me. I understood the exact parallel that was being drawn by the story. It was laughable that I’d thought that it was an allegory for humans being the unnatural monsters, when the novel first inspired me to pity them. The unholy, mix-and-match abomination, created by scientists that thought they could play god, who was then driven mad by the world around him—it was me. It was always me. Marcel implied as much when he implored me to find the text’s lessons.

What I needed to do to fulfill my destiny was spelled out in the crisp pages. There was only one way to extol the rage surging in my heart at a deserved party, just as I had done with that arrogant Kolshian scientist. The execution had felt righteous and satisfying, a welcome release, until Marcel returned. If I was embracing my role as the monster, that meant I must kill my creator, after they lost everything they loved. With Nikonus’ empire crumbling due to Terran interference, I was content to skip the first step and go for the jugular.

Nikonus, and by extension, the rest of his Kolshian underlings had done this to me; they were the reason for all of my suffering and deformities. The Commonwealth Chief must fall by my claw, if I were to feel better. Nobody else should suffer as the Venlil had. Those tentacled freaks shouldn’t have the opportunity to harm anyone ever again! I was going to find my way off this world, and find someone who could smuggle me into Aafa. When I lorded over Nikonus’ cold, lifeless corpse, after watching the light dim from his eyes, then his punishment would be complete.

Justice will be served. It might not set my heart at peace, but I don’t care. It’s not about me—it’s about them and what they’ve done.

Humans could never slip through Aafa’s security to get close to Nikonus, but the Kolshians didn’t take us modern Venlil seriously. There had to be a way to use stealth to my advantage. I stashed the book back in my knapsack, and set my mind to devising a plan. Attaining a weapon was the first order of business, though I had that figured out. I imagined an exterminators’ office would give me one, if I claimed a “dog” was following me. How else could I protect myself from a predator? It was a shame they wouldn’t hand out flamethrowers without guild membership.

A standard firearm would have to be enough to put Nikonus down for good. If this was the last mission I undertook, I accepted my fate. Perhaps the greatest incentive was that, if I succeeded, nobody would ever jeer Venlil as weak again. My focus turned to blocking out all memories of the human that was once my friend, and I committed myself to avenging both of our species.