by VIM1INC » Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:29 pm

*

Squawk!! Squawk!!

Peril followed the tasty fish treat, moonwalking clumsily at the same pace as the chicken that bore it, with his arms reaching out backwards in a bid to snatch the fish. As one can probably imagine, it was an awkward thing to be doing.

As he passed, things started falling upon where he had just been, crashing noisily onto the floor with a loud cacophony of sounds.

*Thunk* An anvil crashed onto the floor with a loud crash.

*Crash* A passing cart had a fateful meeting with a wall.

*Ting* A triangle kissed the dirt.

*Whoosh*, *thunk*, *thunk*, *thunk*. Arrows barely missed Peril by inches and scored critical hits on a wooden sign.

*WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY* Dio Brando just went Za Warudo (The World) and brought a steamroller crashing onto the floor.

"Darn it, 0001. Can't you aim better?" 0002 scolded his fellow Anon.

"I will like to see you try, idiot!!" 0001 retorted, flinging throwing knives at his intended target.

*ShikShikShik!!* Several knives bit deeply into flesh. It wasn't Peril's though.

"Ow!! Goddamit, 0001, watch where you are aiming!!" 0003 cried out in pain.

"Idiots. I am surrounded by idiots." 0002 said, shaking his head. He raised his head and looked around. "Is the Kraken in position?"

"We have an Air Mage transport him from the Ocean. Cthullu wants him back by 12 though, he's due for a facial." 0003 replied, pulling out the knives from his arm and chest with a wince.

"Do squids get facials? No, don't answer that." 0002 shoved his fist into 0001's mouth, forestalling the question.

"Uuuuuu... At least let me give the signal. I always wanted a chance to say it." 0001 gave a teary look, or at least tried to. It was difficult to create an expression if you had no face, or if your entire face was covered by a full face mask.

"Huuuuh... Must you? Fine, if you insist." Sighing, 0002 consented.

"Yay!! Well, here I go then. UNLEASH ZE KRAKEN!!" 0001 roared happily. An ominous clanging noise could be heard as chains unraveled...

"..."

"What's with the french accent?"

**

*Squawk Squawkity Squawk!!*

Peril gave up on Moonwalking and performed a movement skill. By falling and using forward momentum, Peril slid on his belly, covering a large amount of distance within a second. It was an all or nothing move however, as Peril could feel himself coming to a halt as Friction himself said "Can't let you do that, Peril!!"

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Still, he was still closing the distance with the chicken...

300 metres...

250 metres...

200 metres...

150 metres...

100 metres... Peril could just taste the fishy goodness in his mouth.

*CRASH*

"SQUAWK!!"

And all of a sudden, a Kraken came falling from the heavens!! The poor chicken stood no chance, and was squished out of existence. (Fazwick, Chickenmancer Extraordinaire: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!)

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!!!" The Kraken bellowed its defiance to the very heavens, causing the earth itself to shake!! An epic force of nature, the Kraken was known for sinking ships by the dozens!! It had not tried city destruction yet, but she's a keen learner!!

But enough about the Chicken (Faz: But Chickens are important!!)... Peril pushed himself up from the ground, jaws dropping involuntarily at the epic sight before him. But more importantly, his fish!!

Fazwick was standing at the side, having momentarily gotten over the loss of his chicken, racking his brains for a plan. An epiphany finally dawned on him, and he put on a husky voice and did his best Old Spice Impression:

"Hello Penguin... Now look at the area where your beloved fish stood. Now look at the Kraken. Now back at your non-existent fish. And now back at the Kraken. Sadly, the fish isn't the kraken. But with some frying, the kraken is way better than fish. Now look down. Back up. Where are you? You at Long John Silvers, with the kraken that has been fried. What's in your hand? I have it, it's calamari, fried just the way you love it. And now, look again, the calamari is now grilled. Anything is possible if you eat a kraken instead of a fish. I'm on a horse."

Peril's species is the Great Emperor Penguin, Aptenodytes forsteri. The greatest of all the penguins, its diet comprised of fish, crustaceans... and cephalopods.

Does the Kraken look like a giant squid (a cephalopod) to you?

Peril looked at the Kraken again, drool coming out of its mouth.