by VIM1INC » Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:15 am
"Come now, Lich, at least get me off that noose." A virtual Avatar complained to another avatar, that of a dead body that was supposedly dead, but had somehow revived itself from the fallen body of a zombie to one of unknown origin. To describe it would be an affront to mankind, and so, I shall not describe it.
"No, nyahahahaha. I will not." The mysterious talking body chuckled mischievously, its laughter like that of a anthropomorphic cat. Leeches covered every part of its body; a sticky and slimy mess.
The hanging Avatar, a muscular Panda wearing a top hat, frowned as he strained to break the noose, but it was made of diamond, and therefore nigh on unbreakable. Sighing to himself, the panda took out a guan dao, about 6 feet long and wickedly sharp. Holding it as easily as you would a twig, the panda slashed awkwardly at the noose, which did not yield. The Panda frowned at the result, and took out a dagger and tried again.
The noose still did not break, even though the Panda continued to switch items ranging from a chainsaw, a lance, a zweihander, a light saber, and even a crab, none of which left a discernable mark on the noose.
The unknown body snickered as the leeches crawled through and fro across its body.
Dropping the crab, which quickly scuttled away only for some of the leeches on the unknown body to pounce on it and proceed to make sweet monkey love to it (that, or suck its blood), the panda took out the Guan Dao again. Grimacing at what he was about to do, the panda composed itself, and stabbed the large blade onto his neck, and pulled, slicing his own head clean off.
A thump could be heard as the body hit the floor and disappeared in a grey flash. A few seconds later, a new Panda wearing a top hat appeared again, this one with a moustache and a monocle.
“Aha!! Weep and despair, Lich, for I am free!!” The Panda cried in triumph, only to feel its feet dangling on the ground and the tug of the noose as it tightened due to his movements.
“Dang it, Lich. It looks like after the last few times you left it like this, it has left a recurring effect on my persona.”
“Nyahahahaha, give up. This curse will not be so easily removed.” the unknown body snickered as it plucked off a leech and examined it like how a jeweller carefully grades a piece of jewellery. The panda frowned, seeing that the unknown body is unrepentant about its actions, sighed and dug in its coat pocket.
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“Well, it looks like it is going to be another quiet day today. Got any interesting stories to tell?” the panda said as it took out a tea pot and a plate of biscuits. A small round table appeared in front of him, as if like magic, and the tea pot and plate of biscuits floated onto the table, landing with a soft *clink!*. A tea cup appeared, and with great difficulty (considering that he was currently dancing the hemp fandango), the Panda poured himself a cup.
A drop of tea fell onto the floor, where it began to sizzle.
“Nyahahaha. I did hear that a penguin is beginning to play Royal Road, though I have not heard that much detail on this.” The unknown body ignored the tea droplet that was currently dissolving a patch on the wooden floor and spoke casually.
“How would-“
“WHEN IS CHAPTER 13.10 GOING TO COME OUT??” A fierce roar could be heard from the distance, and a humanoid shape wearing nothing but a skintight suit and wearing a faceless mask leapt out of nowhere, foaming and frothing at the mouth.
“Oh, ah…” The Panda’s tongue began to formulate a reply, when a beam of holy light rained down from the heavens upon the unceremonious interrupter, obliterating it instantly. The panda shot an angry look at the unknown body.
“What? That wasn’t me. Could have been the moderators, you know how they feel about Anons.” The unknown body spoke out defensively.
“Hmmm.” The panda regarding the smoking spot on the floor that the Anonymous once occupied. He turned back to the table and poured himself another cup of tea. A droplet fell unto a puppy that was just passing by, causing it to instantaneously mutate into a ravenous, man-eating demonic hell hound.
“PUPPY!!! HERE CEREBERUS, HERE BOY!!” The unknown body cried with glee as it offered a leech to the newly mutated demon dog.
It was just another quiet day at the chat room with its regular bouts of silence followed by spurts of conversation. At least, until that event happened…