Chapter 37 — The Ripple Effect

  The flight back across the Atlantic was uncomfortably silent. Hailey could feel it in the still, processed air of the cabin. Everything felt unsettled, uncertain—wrong.

  Jeremy was tapping away on his phone, pointedly not looking at anybody else. Makoto likewise stared out the window, lost in thought, but he seemed just as unsettled as Hailey. The two EMTs who'd flown across for Kendra were on board too, seated in the back looking exhausted and confused, taking up the spots of the people who should have been on the plane: Lani and the Laushire pair. Hailey couldn't help but blame herself, and assumed they were all doing the same. Nobody looked at her, except for Cinza—the very last person Hailey wanted to interact with.

  Hailey had screwed it all up again. She'd gone after Malton without any kind of plan, just blind rage and the arrogance to think she could do it all on her own. Now, they were coming back with nothing.

  Lani was long-gone, along with Rook—or Riley, or Tessa, or whatever the hell she was calling herself now. He'd called Hailey to let her know Riley was willing to testify against Malton, but it felt so hollow after she saw the look of betrayal and disgust on Jeremy's face. They'd burned a bridge there, and for what? Hailey still doubted Riley was telling the whole truth. Giving up her boss' location to save her own life? Sure… but coming back into the open after the fact? Hailey doubted she'd ever see the woman again.

  The Laushires weren't coming back either. Kendra was still bedridden, dealing with the aftermath of severe magically-induced trauma, as the family physician decided to call it. They had no idea how long it would take to recover, if she ever would. Cinza tried to offer some reassurance, given her own experiences, but it didn't seem to take. Lily politely asked them to leave shortly after—assuring them that the offer still stood to help pursue legal action against Malton, to some small consolation.

  As soon as they walked outside, though, Hailey was reminded just what that meant. Cameras and crowds followed their every step through London—and indeed, they were walking or driving everywhere. She couldn't bring herself to fly anymore, or use any magic at all. When she thought about what she'd almost done…

  Oh god.

  Even in memory, it made her sick. Hailey scrambled for the plastic bag tucked under her seat, in case she needed to throw up. Nothing came out, but it was close—way too close. She took a few long deep breaths, trying to steady herself. Jeremy glanced up at her distress… and then looked away, out the window into the clouds beyond.

  I'm sorry…

  She didn't blame him. He'd been betrayed again and again in the past couple days. Hailey had heard what his sister had asked of him—and even after Hailey ditched him in the basement to go do something stupid, he'd still refused to turn against her. Even after Lani, even after everything, Jeremy still came out to walk her off the ledge. Hailey wanted to talk to him, apologize, anything—but she knew it was only for her own sake. No matter how he'd supported her, there was real pain there, and she wouldn't be doing him any good using him for her own comfort.

  Instead, it was Cinza who finally broke the silence, twisting around from her seat toward the front of the empty plane.

  "Hailey."

  Hailey glanced up, barely meeting Cinza's eyes for a moment before looking down at the carpet again. She didn't want to look at anyone for a while. She wanted to be lost.

  "They will try to arrest you when we land in D.C. You need to decide what to do next."

  "I don't care," Hailey murmured.

  Cinza shook her head. "You don't deserve such treatment. Fly away if you must, but don't let them subject you to their misguided brand of justice."

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  "Misguided?" snapped Jeremy, looking up. His eyes were bloodshot from sheer fatigue. "I ain't sayin' we're perfect, but Hailey broke a hell of a lot of laws and put a ton of people in danger. She's gotta stand for that."

  "They can't possibly understand her motivations or her position," said Cinza. "She doesn't deserve prison."

  "I ain't sayin' she needs to get locked up," said Jeremy, "I'm sayin' she should go through the process. Restore confidence. Show people that it works and awakened ain't exempt."

  "Will it work?"

  "It damn well better!"

  Cinza frowned. "You rejected the notion of arresting her before. Why now?"

  "I was tryin' to save her life!" Jeremy growled. "I'm still on the fence about you. Tell me why I shouldn't have left your ass in London for the Brits to deal with. I was the only one in that damn country legally."

  "This plane was sent for me," Cinza pointed out.

  "And you're declarin' open fuckin' war in the Northwest."

  "Brian has thrived in the shadows," said Cinza. "His forces have grown, not dwindled, and we have been blamed for his assaults. I leveled the field."

  "I do deserve it," murmured Hailey, interrupting them just as Jeremy got to his feet. They both fell silent, watching her carefully—cautiously. She hated that. Hated that her friends felt afraid of her. Hailey took a deep breath before she went on. "I could have hurt a lot of people. I did hurt a lot of people. That's the sort of thing you go to jail for."

  "Hailey—" Jeremy started, but Cinza cut him off.

  "This is foolish. What good does your incarceration serve?"

  "It's where people like me are supposed to go," said Hailey, exhausted by every single word she spoke. She just wanted them all to stop talking. It was over, wasn't it? She'd nearly blown up London, she'd punched her way through guards and servants alike to get to Malton. She'd been the cause of so many deaths, just like the news said.

  It's my fault she died. If I wasn't trying to be the hero, she never would have been there.

  Cinza looked like she was about to speak again, but Hailey was done. She got up and wandered out of the cabin into the rear section, sitting down alone. She wanted to wallow in grief, really feel what she'd done. Remind herself, over and over, replay the events in her head, make sure she never did anything like it again. Hailey didn't want to make decisions anymore. Every time she did, somebody got hurt.

  After a few moments, the curtain brushed aside again as Jeremy came in, alone.

  "Go back," said Hailey.

  Jeremy ignored her. He took the seat across the aisle from her, reclining slightly. "Still fuckin' hate flying," he muttered.

  Hailey didn't respond. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out everything even more.

  "I think you're doin' the right thing," he added, to her surprise. "I don't think you deserve to go to jail, but that's what the court's there to decide, right?"

  "I hurt people," said Hailey. "People who didn't deserve it."

  Jeremy sighed. "You know I wish I could've done what you just did?"

  "What?"

  "I've had cases like this. Guys who seemed like they could just work the system and get off no matter what I stuck 'em with. I wanted more than anything to just roll into the motherfucker's house, knock down his stupid-ass guards, and drag him out into the street. I can't do that though. Not that I wouldn't, I just can't."

  "But…" Hailey finally opened her eyes, glancing at him. "Doesn't that mean the system doesn't work? Just like I said."

  Jeremy shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just really fuckin' pissed off right now. But I'm just one cog. One little fuckin' gear in the machine. I kick up too much dirt, make some smoke, maybe the machine grinds down a bit—but it won't stop turnin'."

  He held up a finger. "But here's the thing, right? I knock out that gum in the works, that asshole who makes everybody's lives worse. Maybe I go down for it, but I can be replaced. He breaks the whole system by bein' there. So maybe, just maybe, I find the right person, and I make enough of a difference. I might pay for it, but everybody else gets to live better lives as a result."

  Jeremy grinned. "Plus I'm a pretty shitty cog. They should'a replaced me years ago. I go down, they get somebody better to fill my spot."

  "But what about everybody in the way?" Hailey whispered. "What about…" She trailed off. She couldn't voice her name.

  He put a hand on her shoulder. "That ain't on you. Jessica wouldn't want that."

  "It is," said Hailey. "She wouldn't have been there if not for me. It's my fault she's dead."

  Jeremy shook his head. "It's not."

  But no matter his reassurances, Hailey couldn't agree with him. After another few tries without a response, Jeremy gave up. The rest of the flight went by in silence, and when the plane door opened, Hailey walked out into the piercing sunlight. She went right down the stairs, held out her arms, and let them place the handcuffs around her wrists, as a dozen cameras followed her every move, and millions upon millions watched her arrest around the world.