Chapter 30 — Four Days Later

  "The world is not fair. It never was fair. We tell ourselves it's fair so we can wake up in the morning willing to step out the door and pursue those things worth fighting for. Nobody was born equal, and nobody had the same chance to survive. We struggle. We endure. We pray that we can find that one person who makes it all worth it in the end, and when we find them, we cling on until it's painful; until we have broken and healed and broken again ten times, a thousand times over. And we know, inevitably in our souls, that no matter what comes, we will one day be separated from our better halves.

  We are insane, every last one of us."

  ~Cinza, the Rallsburg Diaries

  Natalie's phone rang.

  She was outside at lunch, in the corner of the blacktop. Quinn sat a few feet away, and the rest of the gang formed a circle around them. Mitch was telling a story about a pair of shoes and a prank he'd pulled on Kelsey, and they were all laughing at it — Kelsey harder than the rest.

  Natalie picked up her phone, still laughing. She answered, not even bothering to check who was calling.

  "Natalie."

  Color drained from the sky. Every bit of mirth faded away. The rest of the group kept laughing, but Natalie's world had turned to ice in a split-second. She didn't know what was coming next, but it didn't matter. Any voice that sounded so broken, so utterly laced with melancholy and defeat, could never speak anything good.

  "...Yeah?" she finally answered, terrified what might come next.

  "Natalie…" She heard a choking sound, the sound of coughing.

  Natalie knew what was coming next, but she couldn't pull the phone away from her ear. It was stuck there, in horror, unable to move an inch. She felt like she were falling. Like someone had just shoved her off the top of a tree.

  "...'s dead."

  The phone clattered to the ground.

  Quinn looked over at her. His expression fell. The rest of the group still hadn't caught on, still laughing, still listening to Mitch's story.

  Natalie panicked. She grabbed her phone back up and bolted, straight into the field, heading for the fence line. Is this it? Did someone… Was that the thing on the news? Oh god, what's going to happen now?

  "How?" she asked breathlessly, sprinting across the open field, confused yells chasing after her.

  "I… it doesn't matter." Hailey's voice got a bit stronger, though Natalie could hear her pulling away from the phone every few moments. "There's… there's gonna be a funeral tomorrow. I thought… you know. I thought you could come."

  If there is a funeral, you aren't in immediate danger. It is not you.

  Natalie slowed down. "I…" What do I say? Of course I'd go…

  But you'll be revealing yourself. This is dangerous.

  It's… you know, one of us. She was nice to me back home. And Hailey needs me. I've gotta be there.

  You are taking a risk.

  I have to do this.

  Natalie replied so forcefully that the voice disappeared without another word. She slowed to a walk while her friends caught up to her. They reformed the circle in the center of the wide green field. To her relief, nobody else seemed to be watching them.

  "What… the hell… are you doing?" panted Mitch.

  "I'll be there," Natalie said to Hailey over the phone.

  "...Okay." Hailey hung up without another word.

  Natalie pocketed her phone, turning to her confused friends. "I thought…" She trailed off, deciding exactly what to say.

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  "It's okay," said Steven. "You don't have to tell us if it's, you know."

  Natalie shook her head, working up to the words. "...Somebody died. One of us."

  "...Oh, man," said Mitch, still breathless.

  "What happened?" asked Kelsey.

  "I dunno," she said, feeling a bit helpless. Hailey sounded so awful… I was angry at her, but now this…?

  "I bet it was that big fight on Friday," said Tyler excitedly. "You know, where they blew up a neighborhood."

  "Dude!" snapped Kelsey, punching him in the arm.

  "What?"

  "One of her friends just died."

  "...Sorry," said Tyler, glancing at Natalie uncomfortably.

  "Are you okay?" asked Mitch.

  She nodded. Natalie had really only met her twice — once before the big Summit meeting, where she'd had stopped to say hi (well… in her way, at least). She'd been someone Gwen actually liked at first glance. Gwen didn't like anyone near Natalie. The second time was that night, when they'd all driven out of town, but Natalie had been sleeping in the back of Jackie's car most of the way and didn't really talk to her. She'd been so exhausted from riding around on Gwen all day, she'd just wanted to stop moving for forever — but it just all kept coming.

  Stuff about her dad and what he'd done.

  Rachel and Will disappeared without a word.

  School was scarier than she'd expected.

  Seattle.

  And now… One of them was dead.

  Maybe it's time.

  No. I said December. I'm staying with my friends.

  You're being held back by them. You need to focus.

  "I'm gonna be gone tomorrow," she said aloud. "There's… a funeral."

  They all looked so sympathetic that Natalie wanted to tear her hair out. This was why she hadn't wanted to tell them. They just didn't get how dangerous this was. But at the same time, Natalie never wanted to be without them again. If she'd been alone when she found out this kind of news, she'd probably have ended up in the same kind of terrifying sprint through the streets like when she'd been locked out of the Laushire house.

  "We'll cover for you," said Quinn, and Steven nodded right along with him, though both of them looked very concerned. The group left, wandering back to the blacktop. As soon as they thought they were out of earshot, Natalie heard Tyler start talking about the battle out in Lakewood again.

  Quinn stayed behind. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

  Natalie nodded. "...I didn't really know her that well."

  "Do you think you're in danger?"

  She shook her head. "We'll be okay. Nobody knows where I am. Not even Lily."

  Quinn smirked slightly. "'We'?"

  Natalie blushed, glancing away. "Yeah. Me and you. Duh."

  He smiled. "Yeah. Me and you." He glanced back toward the school. "You need anything, we're all here for you, you know? We're a team."

  Natalie felt a little glow fill up her chest, right near the crackling fire of magic that sat close to her heart. She reached out with her hand, slowly, while Quinn was still turned away.

  The black clouds drove her back. Shouted at her, cursed her, forced her away, reminded her of all the horrible things that could happen.

  No. You are stronger than that.

  The voice returned, fierce and powerful. It was like a ray of sunlight through the darkness, helping her. Natalie felt her resolve redouble. She reached forward again.

  Quinn looked around. His eyes widened slightly behind his glasses.

  The clouds returned, and suddenly she couldn't stand it anymore. For a moment she'd felt real connection, but the memories were too strong. Natalie ripped her hand away, as if Quinn were on fire. She hurried back toward the school, before he could see her eyes well up once more.

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  Jeremy rolled up to the sidewalk in a brand new rental car. He hadn't even bothered to ask the Bureau for another vehicle, after both his and Lani's had now been trashed by golems, and with Aderholt still out for his head. This car, nicely modern with all the conveniences technology could bring, was bought and paid for by the political arm of the family — both of whom stood waiting at the curb.

  "Didn't think she'd be comin'," muttered Jeremy.

  Maddie glanced over her shoulder, where Courtney was still on the phone with some corporate bigwig. "She was there when we got the call. And Rachel sure isn't coming, so she volunteered herself as a representative."

  "Don't you count?"

  "That's what I said," she grumbled.

  "One of my constituents died to domestic terrorism under my watch," said Courtney, who'd apparently heard every word. "It's my duty to offer my condolences to the family."

  "And score some PR points," snapped Maddie.

  "This is a private funeral. There won't be any press."

  He shrugged. "The press always finds Hailey anyway."

  "Oh, are you on first name terms with her now?" asked Courtney. "I'd love an introduction, if you don't mind."

  "Yeah, I'll do that," Jeremy deadpanned. Maddie rolled her eyes behind Courtney's back, smirking.

  Courtney turned back and finished up her phone call. Something about a major business deal, Jeremy didn't catch the specifics. He leaned over to Maddie, so Courtney didn't hear. "Keep her the fuck away from Hailey. She doesn't need that shit today."

  Maddie nodded. "You got it."

  Courtney pocketed her phone. "So, are we leaving?"

  Maddie rolled her eyes even wider, but to his relief, she didn't take another shot at Courtney for the whole drive. They piled in, and Jeremy pulled out onto the street. It was going to be a long drive from Seattle back down to Tacoma in current traffic.

  Plenty of time to try and think of something to say to Hailey. Jeremy didn't have a clue. He'd given the talk to so many families, so many grieving people, but he didn't know any of them. Through his whole career, Jeremy had never actually lost anyone. The closest he'd come was when Maddie had nearly been killed, when Jackie had risked her life to save his sister.

  This was different. Hailey had lost someone like a soul-mate. Jeremy was pretty close with his sister, but not like that girl. She and Hailey were utterly inseparable.

  What do you say to someone who lost that?