"Where are we going?" Natalie asked, watching her feet as they walked along the sidewalk. She didn't want to look up at the city. The tall buildings weren't exciting anymore; now they cast shadows that hid terrible things waiting to leap out and hurt her at first chance.
"To a market."
"Like the Marketplace?"
Cinza shook her head. "Kendra's Astral Market was a special one built for us. This is a place of much baser intentions." She stopped, taking another short break. This was one of many they'd taken, every few blocks.
"Are you really okay?" she asked again tentatively.
"...I'll be fine," Cinza repeated, but it was even less convincing than the last four times.
"You don't seem okay. This place is dangerous, right?"
"Yes." Cinza took a sip of water from her bottle. "You'll have to follow my lead, all right? I'd tell you not to speak to anyone, but unfortunately that just won't be an option. You stand out too much."
Natalie glanced down at her clothes again. "I hate this stupid dress."
"Really? I think it looks quite good on you."
Natalie shook her head, her hand involuntarily going up to touch the bandage on her face again, which she immediately regretted.
Cinza frowned. "The dress isn't the problem, is it?"
"Huh?"
"It's what happened to you while wearing it, right?"
Natalie didn't answer. She kept staring at the concrete below them, while Cinza leaned up against the nearest wall. She didn't want Cinza to keep talking, but she couldn't bring herself to stop her.
"I'm sorry, but I have to ask." Cinza paused, and for the first time since Natalie had first met her, showed hesitation. She looked uncertain. "Tell me what happened to you in the park."
Natalie's eyes fell back to the concrete. She didn't want to think about it—didn't want to remember it at all, but the memory was burned into her brain, every painstaking horrible moment. Most of all, she didn't want anyone else to know. She never wanted anybody to know what she'd been through, what she'd let happen, what he'd almost done. She might not understand it all, but she understood enough. She had an idea of what he'd been trying to do, and it scared her more than anything else she'd been through that night.
Cinza waited patiently, but after a few minutes it became clear Natalie wasn't going to answer her. Finally, she spoke again, and her voice wasn't echoing anymore. She still had her unusual accent, but it was plain and as comforting as she could manage. Natalie had never heard her normal voice before.
"...If he touched you, or hurt you in any way, I hope you can tell me someday. I'm here to listen if you need me. But I want you to know something very important. Something I wish I'd been told when I was your age." Cinza reached out and grasped Natalie's hand. She wanted to get away, but Cinza held on firmly and didn't let go. "This is not your fault. You didn't do anything to deserve this. This wretched thing happened, and you aren't ever going to forget it, but you are not to blame."
Cinza finally let go of her hand, and as she did, Natalie felt her urge to run and hide fall away as well. She still wanted to be alone, wanted to flee deep into the forest as far away from anyone who could hurt her, wanted to never be near another human being again—but for the first time, she felt a vague connection to Cinza, something beyond just a mysterious older girl with weird beliefs and weirder clothes.
Natalie finally looked back up at Cinza's face, which was soft and full of concern. She continued speaking, in her quiet natural voice. "You can talk to me, anytime, about anything. I will never judge you for anything you've done, or anything that has been done to you. It doesn't need to be now, or ever, but when you're ready, I am here to listen."
Natalie knew it should have made her feel better, but she still felt raw and beaten—like she was a broken doll that had been tossed out with the trash. Cinza may have found her, but she wasn't whole anymore. She'd lost something, and she didn't know how to find it anymore.
But Cinza was trying to help, and even that tiny light was enough to give her hope. She still felt awful, but there was something she could move toward.
As Cinza started walking again and Natalie fell in behind her, she finally spoke up.
"She hates 'Nicole'."
"I'm sorry?" Cinza said, falling back a few steps to match her.
"Nikki hates being called Nicole."
Cinza looked genuinely surprised. "She told you this?"
"Kinda. Back when we used to play games at home. Whenever I was on her team, she made sure everybody knew not to call her that. She hates her full name."
Cinza shook her head in bemusement. "She never said a word to me."
"...You're kind of scary."
She looked up at Natalie sharply, which was a new experience all on its own. Natalie was so used to people looking down at her, even at school. Most of the kids were growing faster than her. Cinza was shorter than her though, and Natalie was still growing. It felt strange.
"I don't mean bad scary," Natalie went on. "I mean… intimidating. That's better, right? Like people are scared to talk to you sometimes."
"That doesn't seem all that distinct," Cinza murmured.
"I'm not scared though."
"Oh?"
"You never scared me. I just didn't like you."
The corner of her mouth twitched. "Is that so? Did something change?"
Natalie felt a tiny bit of mirth as she replied, "No. I still don't like you."
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
As she said it though, she reached out and took Cinza's hand, holding tight. She still felt that revulsion, the nausea that she knew had nothing to do with Cinza, and she forced it down. She had to, if she ever wanted to be able to hold someone's hand ever again. Together, they walked through the dark streets, silver robe and green army jacket marking a truly odd sight for the few passersby in the dead of night.
----------------------------------------
"It's down through that alley," Cinza whispered.
"Should I wait here?"
Natalie had very mixed feelings about the whole idea. She didn't want to go into yet another strange place that night, with even more possibilities of terrible people, but at the same time she didn't want to be left alone. She didn't really want to spend more time with Cinza, but Cinza was the only person who could understand what she was going through. She desperately wanted her bag back, but she didn't want to be the one making the decisions to get it.
She'd let Cinza decide. The other girl was so much older than her, and smarter and braver. Those were traits Natalie could admire, even if the rest of her was weird and confusing and frequently irritating.
"I wish it were that simple," Cinza replied, "but I'm not confident in my abilities right now." She lifted an arm, and Natalie could see it shaking as she tried to hold it steady. "I haven't told anyone this. Only Ruby, and now you… I'm very weak. Doing most magic leaves me quite frail. Just that short span in the warehouse felt like it could kill me."
Natalie was surprised Cinza was taking her into confidence, until Cinza went on. "I'm going to need your help, and I can't keep you invisible to do it, or I'd collapse in minutes. I don't suppose you ever managed to make the reflective wall we described, or manipulate photons?"
She shook her head. "I tried it at home once, but I didn't understand what you wrote. It was too confusing."
Cinza sighed. "And we don't have time to practice it now either." She began taking off her robes. "Make sure no one comes upon us, please? I need to change into something less conspicuous." From her bag, she produced a shirt and pants, quite plain compared to the intricately designed and magically enhanced clothes she'd been wearing.
While she changed, Natalie glanced at her bag. "Do you have any more clothes? We're almost the same size, right?"
Cinza shook her head, carefully folding her robes and most of her jewelry, placing them gently back into her bag before strapping it over her shoulder. "Only the pair, and I'm afraid my robes would stand out even more than your dress. Keep your jacket on and stay close to me."
"Okay."
She still seemed to be wrestling with something in her head, Natalie could tell. Halfway down the alley, Cinza stopped and turned to her. "...We're about to enter a—"
"Really bad place, I know. I'll be careful."
"Not just that," Cinza sighed. "This is an old life of mine. I left it years ago, but the players haven't changed. The game never changes. I'll be… quite different than what you know. I need you to pretend you've always known me—that this is totally normal. Stay quiet whenever you can, but if someone asks, you must play along. If anyone tries to get close to you, you can back away, but don't try to hurt them. Can you do that?"
Natalie was never more aware of how strange Cinza's normal voice sounded, compared to what she was used to. She'd just come to expect the magical echo from the older girl at all times. Hearing Cinza speak so plainly, and knowing she was about to reveal some of her past that no one from town had ever known, made the seriousness of the situation sink in even deeper for Natalie. "...Do I need a new name too?"
"Jenny will suffice. As long as you do not give away your last name—either of them—we should be fine, but I doubt anyone will ask for it."
"And what's your name?"
Cinza hesitated. She looked… embarrassed? Natalie wasn't sure. She'd never seen that expression on her, but it looked like embarrassment. "...Candy."
"Candy?"
"They gave it to me, because I was small, and young, and looked like a 'kid in the candy store'." Cinza looked away. "I didn't select it."
"Well I didn't get to choose my name either," Natalie pointed out. "That's normal, isn't it?"
"I suppose." Cinza started forward. Natalie followed a step behind, like Cinza had instructed. "Don't worry if you can't talk like we do. You won't be expected to. Just speak normally, all right?"
"What does that mean?"
"You'll see."
They turned the corner, then another. Natalie noticed as they walked that Cinza seemed to change with every few steps. Her steps were a little slower, a little less deliberate. Where she normally walked fast and confident, like someone who always knew where she was going and how fast she needed to get there, now she seemed almost like she were dancing a little. It was small, but Cinza managed to make it look so casual. Her feet moved in a straight line rather than side by side, making her hips sway with every step, and her shoulders and chest moved more than usual, like she were strutting. Even her head moved a little differently.
It was like Natalie were following a totally different person.
"Hold up girl, whatchu lookin' fer?" called out a older male voice as they approached a fenced off alley. He was sitting on a pile of wooden boxes by the gate, with a glowing phone in his hand. "You trickin' or jus' lookin' to score?"
Cinza answered, and it was like nothing Natalie had heard before. Her voice was completely different, except for her accent, which she'd reduced somehow so it was just a flavor rather than the entire taste of her words. Cinza didn't sound like Cinza anymore. Natalie had to remind herself not to react, not to make a move. This is totally normal.
"Boy I been trickin' all night, but streets is dead. I got bills to pay and it's time I checked in to the hotel, ya feel?"
"Hear that, hear that." He raised a grubby eyebrow and held out a tin. "You up front or runnin' a cut?"
"Cut's still ten on the top, yeah?"
"Oh, we got an oldie here do we? It's fifteen these days, girly. You migh' get you a discoun' though if you sellin' doubles." He leered at Natalie, who shrunk back involuntarily. His beady eyes made her even more uncomfortable. "Hello cutie. What happened to yo' face?"
"She's my partner, and she jus' got a new tattoo. Give her that mystery foreign look, feel?" Cinza added quickly, clutching Natalie's hand. Natalie felt a now-familiar spike of revulsion run through her, but forced it down. She had to keep pretending. Cinza knew what she was doing. Natalie had to trust her. "Tag-teamin' boys for double-double special, you know how it is."
"Economics, baby. I getchu." He shrugged. "Look's a bit under the consent though, don't she?"
"She good. I know you don't let that shit fly," Cinza replied.
"Do you now?" He squinted at her. "I know you, sugar?"
"I dunno, were you workin' sout-end 'bou five year back?"
He scratched his chin. "Shit girl, that ain't Candy Pop?"
Cinza dipped into a fake curtsy with an imaginary dress. "One and only."
"I heard you graduated."
"Jus' moved on, change of scenery. Keepin' ahead of the game. Whatchu doin' out at the gate, Harley? Figgered you'd be runnin' the square all night."
"Sometimes I just like the fresh air, and watchin' for in'trestin' people to drop in." He frowned at them. "I los' a lot of business when you jumped, girl. If you back, you back, but I'm gonn' need twenny."
"Fuck you," Cinza spat.
Natalie jumped a little. She'd been hearing pretty harsh language all night, to be fair, but from Cinza's mouth it was especially jarring—and it didn't stop there.
"I ain't payin' no shit twenny cent just to trick in your hotel." Cinza jerked a thumb at Natalie, who shrank away a little. "I'm bringin' fresh meat and service with a fuckin' smile, so you gonna let me in for the standard ten for fuckin'. You know I'm clean, you know I do good business, and you know I never cause shit for drama. So am I gettin' through or you gonna waste more billin' hours pissin' out here in the wind?"
Cinza took a step toward him. Another guy they hadn't seen pointedly moved into view and casually flashed a pistol. The gate-guy held up a hand. He grinned. "There's the Candy I know and love. You too smart for this game, girl." He waved her forward.
Cinza sauntered up without hesitating. Natalie was still stunned in place for a few moments, trying to figure out what had just happened, before she remembered she was supposed to stay close. She hurried up next to Cinza as they reached the gate.
As they passed by the gate guy, Cinza got up on her tip-toes and brushed the man's face with her hand. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Natalie's eyes got even wider at the sight.
"Dontchu forget me now, Harley baby," Cinza murmured in a husky voice.
"Damn girl, you got time at the end of the night and you come find me. You ain't never forget again."
Cinza grinned, then passed through the gate. The guy watched her walk away dreamily, and Natalie hurried to follow her inside.