Sooner than what? Where’d they come from, and why?
I test my feet, pleased by their obedience. After moving each toe carefully, I tighten the muscles in my calves. I can probably stand on my own. What I’m not sure of is if Doctor Cuckoo will let me leave as promised. I doubt my chances at attempted flight with his ominous assistant hovering by the exit.
It can’t hurt to try the easy route. Ryan did say if I could walk out on my own two feet...
When I nail standing, I’m confident I can walk unassisted. Remaining in an erect position once out the door is another story, but what they don’t know can’t hurt me.
Casually, I make my way to Declan, who steps aside to let me pass. Was my father right? Do I cast judgment too quickly? Guilty as charged. The whole notion of being held captive was just my mind playing tricks on me. Besides, why should I worry? I don’t choose isolation for fear someone’s out to get me. I fear accidentally hurting someone. Opposite problem.
Tally blocks the door, drawing a sigh from me. “I’m beyond my curiosity in seeing your plot finalize itself. You can tell all your little friends, who are likely frozen in hiding at this point, we can play Out the Freakshow another day. I’m tired, and I’m going home.”
“Let her go,” Ryan commands from behind me.
Tally doesn’t budge.
I clench my fists at my sides. “Step aside, Barbie.”
“Make me,” she challenges.
My cheeks heat. “Please move,” I request politely. Maybe she’s a manners kind of girl.
“Let her go,” Ryan repeats. “I’m not asking.”
Tally flinches, but she isn’t backing down. Bad news for her. She’s close to finding out precisely why I contain my emotions with such tenacity.
“You’re going about this the wrong way.” While her comment isn’t meant for me, she doesn’t take her eyes off mine.
“We aren’t in a position to help against her will,” Ryan states. “That’s not how we do things in this family. When she’s ready...”
Are they seriously fighting over helping me? Perhaps this warped undertaking is to help me overcome the grief of my loss. If that’s the case, they need to realize the effort isn’t necessary. I don’t have any grief to overcome. I’m not burdened by survivor’s guilt. I’m simply defective, and the nature of my malfunction means destruction.
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“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do.” Acknowledging their good intentions is a healthy start. “I get it. We have some things in common. I’m sure you’re just trying to help me work through my mommy issues, but there’s no need. I’m totally fine. I’ve had eighteen years of dealing with who I am. I’ve got a handle on it. I promise.”
“You’re definitely not fine,” Tally returns dryly, “and you have no idea who you are. Look at you! You’re an absolute wreck. You have no self-pride! You’re letting yourself wither away, and you aren’t doing anything to stop it.”
Okay, so they noticed I didn’t eat my sandwich. They obviously think I have an eating disorder. Not true. I’m not withering away. I supplement vitamins where possible to mitigate my food intake issues. Physically, I’m fine. For the time being, anyway. “I’m not a big bread-eater. Sorry.”
Declan snorts, earning him a disapproving scowl from Ryan. Poor fella. I’m all too familiar with those scowls.
Tell them the truth, Superego suggests.
“You need to let me go,” I whisper. “I’m getting a distinct caged animal vibe that’s weirding me out.”
“It isn’t our aim to threaten you,” Ryan commiserates.
“No, don’t threaten her,” Tally quips. “She might display emotion. We wouldn’t want that.”
She has no clue how right she is. They don’t want that, and I don’t want that, either.
“Leave it alone,” Declan warns her.
Tally steps closer. “I’m not letting you out of this house until we come to an understanding.”
All I need is to get by her. The other two are well past forcing an intervention. She’s a solid head taller than me, but I’m not intimidated. To physically stop me, she’d have to risk breaking a nail. What is her damage, though? Does she think I’ll spill her family drama? Why would I bother?
“What exactly should I understand?” I rise on my toes to bridge some of the height deficit. “I’m aware of your status, Tally. Head cheerleader. Miss Popularity. I won’t yoink your crown. I won’t tell anyone anything. I’m not like that. I don’t care about you, and you don’t care about me. Just let me go.”
“You’re a lost cause,” Tally fumes. “You’re too stuck on yourself to see sense.”
“I’m stuck on myself?” Sparks heat my cheeks.
“That’s enough, Tally.” Declan smiles tightly, gripping her forearm. “You won’t find what you’re looking for here.”
“I always find what I’m looking for, Declan,” she muses. “Do you know what you’re lacking, Sheyla?”
“Don’t,” Declan cautions her. Does he know what she’s in for, what they’re all in for, if she doesn’t get out of my way?
“You’re lacking the ambition to get what you want.” She taps her finger on her chin. “That means I’m not getting what I want, which makes me unhappy. I need cheering up. Who better to do that than me?”
Tally duplicates herself. That’s right, no longer is one Tally blocking the doorway. There are two of her preventing my escape. I try to blink away the double vision as they both stand there laughing at me.
I’m not angry anymore, and that isn’t a good thing. It may even be the worst thing. Anger is manageable. I’ve skipped over confusion and landed on panic. I can’t control that. My temperature rises to levels I’m not prepared for, levels I haven’t experienced in years. The heated blood in my cheeks spreads out in a flash, fire licking every inch of my skin. Unlike my general instinct to subdue the flame, I welcome the burn, and I want her to burn with me. That’s when she erupts in flames. Both of her.