We travel half a day, motoring along the Amazon River. The bright yellow sun that gave me my first ever sunburn is traded in for a bright yellow poncho to deflect the miserable rain. It’s mostly keeping me dry. To be honest, even the accumulating pool in the boat sole would make for a suitable bed. This girl is not picky. I can’t seem to get caught up on my rest. Probably a depression thing. I miss Dad, Mom, and even Derry. Most of all, I miss Brody. He wins the gold simply because he’s gone to me forever. My grief is all-consuming.
I made this trip in reverse after meeting the Amazon Coterie for the first time only a short time ago. That notvacation was wrought with disappointment…and discovery, I guess, if you want to push for more bright sides. I couldn’t reconnect Mel and Ryan. Voilà reversion. Derry made quick use of the discovery by requesting his own. That was the beginning of the end for us. Here, in Amazonia, I also learned about emotional projection. I tend to lean heavy on the side of less when it comes to that ability. More feels is not where my joy lives.
As we draw closer, I keep the poncho over my face, not wanting to see the vast forest view, empty in its expanse with no one waiting for us. Will the off-key tune of support my friends are singing change if the Amazon Coterie hasn’t come out of hiding to greet us? Where will we go if they don’t? Conversely, what if they are waiting? What will I look like to them? Have I changed? My stomach swirls mercilessly for a few minutes before my tinder heart falls into the pit that my nerves have burrowed.
Fireplace tempts my nostrils as the boat hits the dock, and I breathe a massive sigh of relief. Despite the wildfire we’re bringing behind us, they’re happy to see us.
Physically, they’re the same. Emotionally, we aren’t the only group to evolve into something more. They’ve undergone a full-blown metamorphosis. The most shocking transformation is Evadne, who was borderline feral. She’s the first to greet me when I step off the dock, enveloping me in an uncharacteristic display of affection. It’s awkward, and I don’t know how to handle it. Yeah, awkwardly. That’s how I handle it.
“Evadne,” Aella addresses her calmly. “Put down.”
Even Akantha, the most timid of their unit, hugs me. Their enthusiasm rapidly spreads. Everyone’s hugging everyone while I’m standing back, watching the show from behind my fireproof glass a protective distance away. Overwhelmed is the word of the day.
That’s when I see her. She’s absolutely heading the improvement department. Dreyna no longer stands with her shoulders slumped or her messy hair covering half her face. Last we met, she had a pitifully clogged filter. Looks like she’s toting a brand new one now. Even skewed by the darkness of my guilt-stained heart, it’s impossible not to appreciate her radiance. She’s positively glorious. “You’ve changed,” I murmur.
She lifts a brow.
“Not in a bad way,” I clarify. “You’re just different. You shine.”
“As do you, Little Fire,” she notes.
She kisses me softly on the cheek before pulling me toward the trees.
“Do not tie,” Aella advises Ryan as he’s trying to secure the boat to the dock. “Let drift. We destroy dock. Use wood make fire.”
I pull Dreyna to a stop. “Why are you destroying the dock? Don’t we need the boat?”
Frowning, Akantha joins us at the tree line. “Hide entry point. That buy big time.”
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“We should be running,” I suggest.
“Why we run?” Aella seems shocked. “You not small spark. You bright burn now. Soon you blaze.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d want to see us, and though you clearly do, now I’m forced to accept what we’re bringing with us.”
“There is time for cry,” Akantha offers, “but time is not now. Now we welcome.”
Dreyna squeezes my hand tighter. “We are glad to see you, whatever the reason.”
“We happy.” Aella smiles a terrifyingly wide smile. It seems as wide as the sky. “We show you home. You stay long.”
Their camp is a few miles from the dock. Previously, it was nothing more than a well-used area with patted down leaves and large fallen trees to serve as seating. It wasn’t a home.
Dreyna forces me into a run beside her, pulling me over fallen trees and weaving in and out of the underbrush. She’s racing Aella. Their carefree strides echo in my hollowed out heart like bell knockers. When we finally come to a stop, I’m a familiar sort of winded. Man, I’ve missed running. Endorphins for the win.
“Home.” Aella’s voice is barely a whisper as she points toward the sky.
It’s impressive. They’ve indeed made a home high in the trees, with floors, walls, and a roof opening in the center, leaving a hole all the way to the ground where a garden grows at my feet. The trees have been clipped so the sun can shine directly down onto the garden. The design is flawless. My only regret is the uncooperative weather mucking up the otherwise perfect display.
“Home,” Evadne echoes.
“Don’t you like getting up and going whenever you want?” I was counting on that hasty getaway mentality to keep us ahead of the wildfire.
“We thought the same until we met you,” Dreyna explains. “You gave us something worth keeping, the hope we needed to plant our feet and look!” She spins in circles. “Look at the roots you have given us.” I’ve given them roots only to rip them from the ground by seeking asylum, but she doesn’t care about that. None of them do.
“Why the garden?”
“That is most beautiful part,” Akantha remarks.
“Sun shine through open.” Aella points to the sky. “Feed garden.” Her smile grows. “From garden...” She draws a giant breath. It’s taking every bit of restraint she has not to jump up and down from her excitement. I really can’t help myself. As guilty as it makes me feel, her happiness is contagious. When I reciprocate, she grabs my hands. “From garden, Coterie eat.”
“You eat?”
“Sun feeds garden. Garden feeds us,” Akantha adds.
“The light transfers into the plants, which convert it into carbohydrates. We use the converted energy to fuel us. I pull it out of the plants like I push my energy outside myself to feed others,” Dreyna elaborates.
“Photosynthesis,” I reason.
Their smiles grow even wider, as does mine. They’ve taken a huge leap in evolutional progress. How can I not share their joy? How can it not open my eyes to the prospect there truly is hope for us? They’ve found a new way to feed that doesn’t involve any blood, human or animal.
“Baby step,” Aella soothes me. “Baby step make it far if patient.”
“This isn’t a baby step. This is huge. This is like jumping off Niagara Falls huge.”
Aella places her hands on my cheeks. “This from Little Fire.”
I take a step back and out of her hands. “You did this.”
“From Little Fire,” she reiterates.
“I didn’t have any part in this,” I argue. I do nothing but cause destruction. I wasn’t even here for the build. They obviously have no idea what’s been going on.
“You gave hope,” Akantha insists. “You break wall around unit. You light on path. Light lead here.”
I shove my hands in my pockets, holding Brody in my left and the air, fire, and water departure stones in my right. Can I give Brody up to get gone? Am I ready? I have to protect these people, save what they’ve built.
“You cannot lose hope. There is good coming from the bad.” Dreyna circles her arms wide. “This good is only a small part, and it is only the beginning.”
“They’ll take it all away,” I state glumly.
Evadne surprises me by placing her hand on my shoulder. “They no win.”
“How many are there?”
“Many,” she notes.
“We don’t have many.”
“But we have something worth fighting for,” Dreyna counters.
“I didn’t mean to force you to choose sides.”
“You no force,” Aella defends me.
“It feels like I did.”
“Always hard on Little Fire. Always alone,” she reprimands. “No alone now.”
“My fire isn’t strong enough to get us out of this.”
“We open our hearts and home to you, not for what you can do, for who you are,” Dreyna reassures me. “Others will come. They will stand by your side. We will stand together.”
I sigh.
“Come.” Aella ushers me up the tree ladder. “Dry out misery.”
I’d settle for dry feet.