“What’s the deal with you and Computer Creep?” Tally probes, using a scalding device to wrangle my hair into a partially crimped, partially straightened eighties-do. We’re punking it up for the show.

“I like him.”

You more than like him, Superego corrects.

“What’s the deal with you and Barry?” She won’t pass up an opportunity to discuss herself. Evasion is a cop-out. Sue me.

“Barry is delicious.” She rolls her eyes at my narrowed ones. “Not like that.”

She’s been doing exceptionally well with Barry. Perhaps a touch heavy on the petting portion, but so far so good on no essence slurping. While they haven’t completely separated from the group, I’m convinced their relationship will be reaching an entirely new level much sooner than later. Problem is, I can’t protect them if I can’t see them, and there’s zero chance I’m following them into a dark corner.

“You like him,” I push.

“Of course I like him.” She pulls my hair. “I wouldn’t spend time with someone I don’t like. Present company excluded.”

“Declan’s seriously into Kiley,” I point out.

“Yeah, that’s an inadequate description. I’d classify what they have as an obsession. They genuinely need medical intervention.”

“I think it’s cute. He’s happy.”

“You know what happens if you start associating happy with a single, specific thing? When that thing falls apart, so do you.”

“If things don’t work out with Barry, you won’t be hurt?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Firework Fingers. I’d be irritated, yes, but it wouldn’t shift my gravity or anything.”

She’s lying. Just mentioning it has doubled her anxiety. I’m not calling her on it since she still has a fistful of my hair and torture device at the ready. I stop my traitorous mouth from betraying me by breathing in her Narcissus and Sage scent.

“Speaking of that, you better be careful putting all your eggs in one basket,” she warns. “You’ve decided to let Derry carry it, which is great until he drops it. Believe me, he will. You’re pretty much guaranteeing an explosion when he does. I mean, your human life is ending in a giant mushroom cloud, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather delay it a while longer.”

Wonders never cease, Superego quips.

That’s a refreshing change of pace. At her convenience, Tally won’t be trying to invoke my transition anymore. Should I give a mental fist pump or use that same fist to sock her in the jaw? Not gonna lie, I’m leaning toward the jaw.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

After we’re ready and Tally-approved, we parade downstairs, where Ryan has an overly affectionate smile on his face. “Glorious,” he gushes.

“It’s not too late to change your mind and join us,” Tally notes.

“I’m pulling a shift at the hospital. They’re consistently understaffed on Friday nights.”

I worry over him spending so much time alone when we’re all paired off. “If you came, you might meet someone.”

“I already met my someone. No need for a do-over.”

“Are you changing your mind about these relationships being a good idea?”

“Not for a second,” he insists. “Stepping back would be disrespectful to the ground we’ve gained.” He takes me in his arms. “Like you. We’ve gained you. You’re a reminder there can be hope, even with the most incendiary odds.”

While I’m not driving this hope bus, being a passenger is significant to our structural integrity. “I still think you should come,” I urge him.

He says nothing, just leans in to kiss my forehead, wrapping me in Echinacea and Aloe.

“Have fun working,” Tally teases him.

“Keep the casualties to a minimum,” he recommends.

She grins wickedly. “Your time will pass faster if I don’t.”

“It passes by fast enough without your help.”

“Don’t fret, Papa Passive. If I get too rowdy, Sheyla will distract me with her stripping.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ll strip me of my detrimental desire,” she clarifies.

Rolling my eyes, I step outside into the cool spring air. Tonight holds the promise of contained entertainment. Not even Tally and her entourage of snarky remarks can shake my contentment.

She hops in the van.

“Can we stop by the house? I need to check in.”

“That’s so weird,” she mumbles.

It is weird. My father wasn’t involved in anything I did before the hospital blame game. Since then, he’s become progressively more conscious of what’s happening around him, particularly in the area of what’s happening to me. An annoyingly parental something woke then, too, and I haven’t found the resolve to tell him to stow it. Actually, I sort of like being accountable to his requests. The attention is nice. Weird but nice.

“You could just call him. Then again, he probably needs to see with his own eyes you aren’t maimed, intoxicated, and/or any of the other indecent things I have planned for you tonight.”

I lift a curious brow. “You’d make an interesting genetic study.”

She turns onto the roadway. “Because I’m a Solathair?”

“No, because it may take me the rest of my human life to accurately classify you.”

“Ah shucks, Ash-can.” She clicks her tongue. “You care.”

“Don’t get too excited. Scientists like to dissect things.”

“You want to be a scientist now?”

I shrug. “I like challenges.”

“I have a challenge for you. Can your rinky-dink thermostat rise to meet it?”

“Depends on what the stakes are.”

“Alone time.”

Clearly, she’s put some thought into this wager and was waiting for the right opening to suggest it. Declan and I don’t allow her much privacy with Barry. Everything is supervised.

“What do I get if I win?”

“Um.” She laughs. “Not alone time?”

“Very funny. I could stand some alone time.”

She scoffs. “Like you’d know what to do with it.”

“Tell Barry you like him, and maybe he’ll want to spend quality time with you. You don’t need my approval. You need his.”

“Ouch.” She flinches dramatically. “Deep burn. I’ve been training you too well, I see. Okay, if you can get Derry to introduce you as his girlfriend, you win, and I have to introduce Barry as my boyfriend.”

Those are tempting stakes. Tying herself to any one person instantly revokes her queen status. Off with her head.

“If he doesn’t say it, you lose,” she adds, “and not only do I not have to announce to the world I’m unavailable, I also get private Beef Cake time.”

“What am I losing, though?”

“Obviously, you’re losing all your self-confidence. If he doesn’t say it, he doesn’t want you like you want him, and isn’t that enough of a loss? Did you need something else?”

I rub light circles on my pants. “You know what, Tally?”

She flutters her lashes. “What?”

“One day, I’ll meet one of your personalities I like.”

I look forward to that day.