Over the next few days, I aim for annoyance, Tally being the selected target. I need alone time to decide how to give myself to the Sumairs, assuming they’re actively seeking me out. I’m an expert level ten at pushing people away. If I can bother her as successfully as she bothers me, her vigil won’t be so constant, giving me the freedom to execute a plan just as soon as I come up with one.
Tally’s a black and white sort of girl. Colors, specifically in the Keane house, are unacceptable. Her clashing aversion is the perfect focal point for my retaliation. Either she’ll tell me to leave or lose her cool and destroy me herself. It’s a win-win scenario.
It starts with a colored plate in the kitchen cupboards. It takes a while for her to find it, but as Ryan’s still pushing his force-feed agenda, my patience is rewarded.
“What is this?” she shrieks.
“It’s the beginning,” I whisper.
By the end of the week, I graduate to more obvious locations for my color integration. The linen cabinet, for instance.
“Do you have a death wish?” she fumes.
Yes, Tally, I do. I really, really do.
My grand finale is an overstuffed body pillow I place affectionately on her bed. I choose red for my practical jokes, appreciating the irony as my trademark signature. It’s her fault for having a bed in the first place, seeing as she has no use for it. Convenient for me, though.
Her screech sounds almost pained. I snicker.
Declan whistles low, unamused by my antics. “She’ll get you back.”
I shrug, and he shakes his head. What he hasn’t clued into yet is every night I’ve left earlier and earlier. They’re no longer monopolizing my time. I’m not allowed to exercise alone, or travel alone, but when I’m in my room, they leave me alone. Point to me.
“If you’re looking for her to kill you, you’ll be disappointed to learn she can’t.”
“She thrives on my misery,” I dodge. “May as well have some fun amidst her railroading.”
“She does mean well.”
“She’s doing herself a favor.”
“Ask about her human life,” he encourages me. “Her intentions might be clearer. I can’t tell you myself. I value this life too much.”
“So, she can off you but not me? That doesn’t seem fair,” I admit. “Besides, I doubt we’ll ever get to that point.”
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We’ll make sure of that, Superego supports me.
The Sumairs will come for me sooner or later. Have they seen the window of opportunity I’ve opened up? I want to learn more to help draw them in, but I don’t want Declan to get suspicious. If he works out what I’m doing, not even Tally’s indignation will free me from round-the-clock guard detail. They can’t see how important it is for me to hand myself over to the Sumairs. It’s that or succumbing to the fate Tally taunts me about relentlessly, trading my life for a heaping pile of ash that once was a country.
“What was the transition like for you?”
Declan grimaces. The Keanes continue to be tight-lipped over any can’ts—things I can’t do or are negative—but they clarify things I ask directly or don’t fully understand.
“It’s unique for each of us. I was at the human age of twenty-one in Florence, the capital of the Grand Duchy of Tuscany. Galileo Galilei turned his telescope to the heavens in the early seventeenth century, and astronomy was born.
“You have bouts of fire-related inconveniences. In my case, I lost my breath a lot. I wasn’t truly asthmatic. It was just me panicking instead of figuring out I didn’t need to breathe.
“The persistent suffocation wasn’t the worst of it. That was tolerable next to the weightlessness. I couldn’t stay grounded. I had out-of-body experiences where I’d wake up somewhere else. It was like my soul was detaching from my body.”
I hold his hand for support. “Were you alone?”
“I did try to make my way to people. I convinced myself Father Science could fix what was wrong. I couldn’t help thinking I was meant to travel to the place everyone was talking about, even if only in thought.
“I took a bad attack. I remember being terrified by my need to get free of myself. My body was a crushing vice. I willingly left it behind, Sheyla. I was ascending with nothing to hold me down. I continued to the stars, sure I was dying and thankful my passing had taken away the pain.
“It wasn’t until the vacuum of space sucked up my essence I understood the consequences of my choice. I spent an immeasurable amount of time waiting, frozen in a kind of stasis. No way to move. No way to get back. I was alone with my thoughts, trapped inside myself, until something hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking me back down the gravity well.
“It all fell apart. I fell apart. There was no pain. Whatever collided with me was everything around me, overwhelming all my senses except my ability to hear. The only real thing, the only tangible thing remaining as my essence shattered, was her voice. The sound of it gave me hope. It guided me back.”
If he could cry, tears would be streaming down his cheeks. I cry for him, liquid sorrow filling my eyes and spilling over the sides. My emotion, my unrestrained empathy, isn’t a good way to keep my spark suppressed. The harder I cry, the more intense the heat becomes. My skin feels like I’ve been broiling in the oven for eight straight hours, but it doesn’t stop there. There’s no escape from the blistering swelter as my temperature steadily rises.
“Sheyla,” says a calm voice. “It’s okay. You need to cool down. Declan’s fine. See. He’s fine.”
I hear a sizzling sound like something’s frying in a pan. Mist rises past my nose. It’s my tears. I’m evaporating my own tears with the flame of my emotion.
I try to fixate on Declan, who looks as terrified as me, but the horrific burning smell won’t allow for it. Am I on fire? I cough, thick, black smoke exuding from my body as I slowly cook myself from the inside out. It takes me a few minutes to recognize the distorted scream is mine, cracking through a warped headset.
Emergency shut-off switch, Superego demands.
Everything instantly stops. In the safety of my deprivation chamber, void of every possible sense, I wonder if I just transitioned and who I killed in the process.