“Malori and I will be making regular check-ins once you get to Reach, likely once every hour or two. Make sure to always keep your beacons on you, otherwise you won’t be able to hear us. On the wyverns, you should reach the first Dark Zone in about five days. Any questions?” Colette listed off, a professional smile on her face as she looked out on the four women double checking all of their gear and supplies.

Malori clutched her robes as she watched. There was a bit of nervousness that she couldn’t quite shake, but it wasn’t nearly as noticeable as she would have thought from being left alone in a completely unfamiliar place. Her head spun a little at how fast things had been moving. They had only been properly in Amalthea for maybe two weeks, give or take a few days, and already they had met the King, gotten arrested, and now being separated to do a mission that could get all of her friends hurt. Ingrid was alright at healing magic, but it was more first aid. If they got into another fight like the one with Berith, who would be there to heal their wounds? That thought was far more pressing in Malori’s mind than whether or not she was alone.

The only one of the four to hop down from the wyvern’s back was Ingrid. Malori’s heart clenched as Kallen didn’t seem to be paying anything any mind aside from scratching her wyvern’s chin, resulting in some pleased cries and continuing to shove its face into her hand like a cat. This was going to be her last chance to say goodbye in person. Weren’t friends supposed to try to do that sort of thing?

Ingrid approached the two of them, glancing over at Ivar, who was speaking to what looked like a messenger. She sighed, then gave an awkward smile. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’s the best we have right now. We’ll make sure we all get out of this okay. Malori, make sure you and Colette don’t stay up all night again? I was worried when you didn’t come back last night.”

A blush grew on Malori’s cheeks. The previous night was supposed to be some preliminary tests on their psionic equipment to make sure everything was in order for the journey. Colette offering to help her get a better handle on her innate abilities was something as surprising as it was appreciated. Of course, she hadn’t even realized that she had spent hours explaining various books and their plots and subplots to Colette. Normally, someone would have stopped her, fallen asleep, or told her to simply shut up depending on the person. The Archmage did none of the three, staying attentive and listening to every word, asking clarifying questions and even seeming receptive to Malori’s tangents. It wasn’t long until both of them fell asleep at the very table they had been working at.

Despite the burning desire to do it all over again, she gave Ingrid an affirmative nod. “T-Take care then. I… I really hope you f-find your brother,” she said hopefully.

Her elven friend smiled down at her. This one wasn’t awkward. The way her eyes lit up made it abundantly clear that it was genuine. It made Malori’s chest feel ever so slightly less tight.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to gather as much courage as she could. Even if Kallen wasn’t going to seek her out to say goodbye, she could do it herself, right? The human was very forgetful, maybe it had just slipped her mind. She took a step forward, but stopped as Alice shouted in her direction.

“Hey, Love, you comin? Faster we leave faster we get there. Besides, if Feathers doesn’t actually know her limits and can’t fly that far it would be nice to have made a good chunka progress right?”

Ingrid gave Malori a quick hug. “We’ll return before you know it. Coming, Dear!” she called back before bowing to Colette and hurrying off to her and Alice’s wyvern.

“Best of luck, you four,” the Archmage said respectfully, watching them leave.

“Oi, Shortie, try not to be too much of a crybaby for our hosts, ‘kay? Something something royal etiquette, something something Ivar go fuck yourself,” Alice pretended to cough to cover up the last bit. Before anyone had a chance to even respond or reprimand her for her language towards royalty, she snapped the reins. The wyvern made a screeching sound before launching itself into the air, each powerful flap of its massive wings sending it higher and higher.

Natalia looked back at the pair of espers, giving nothing but a small wave as she launched herself up after them.

Anxiety swelling in her throat, Malori tried to hurry towards Kallen to say goodbye.

“Hm? Oh! Hey guys, don’t leave without me!” she laughed, leaning down to her wyvern, “Come on, let’s get going, boy!” she didn’t even have to use her reins as the beast gave a happy shriek, then sprang up after them.

Malori tried to reach out a hand, but within seconds, her friends were so high up that she could see their forms between the gaps in her fingers. Slowly, her hand fell to her side. Was that it? She got a goodbye from Ingrid, humiliation from Alice, a brief acknowledgement of her existence from Natalia, and from Kallen, the one that saved her, nothing?

It was such a stupid thought. She was going to check in with all of them in a couple of hours anyway. She’d be able to say anything she wanted to the gorgeous human. If she really wanted, even directly share the thoughts in her head about her. So why did something as simple as this make her feel like she was about to cry?

She didn’t know how long she was standing there, blankly watching the three blips in the sky be reduced to tiny black dots on the horizon before Colette stepped forward and gently put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, are you alright?” she asked softly. She both looked and sounded legitimately concerned.

Malori froze. Of course, she was an esper. She could sense what feelings were on the surface of Malori’s mind without even focusing. “I-I’m fine…” she lied. She didn’t know why she even bothered.

Colette’s brow furrowed. “Do you want to go inside and get something to eat? It’s been a while since breakfast.”

No words managed to leave Malori’s throat. If they had managed to, she probably would have started crying. After what Alice had said, that was the last thing she wanted to do in front of an Archmage and a Prince. All she managed was a weak nod as she lowered her eyes to the ground. Looking up would have reminded her how alone she was. Again.

Once again, Malori found herself in Colette’s observatory. The two silently ate the lunches that had been brought to them by a servant as Malori continued to force her feelings down as deep as she possibly could. Maybe this whole thing was her fault. She was the primary reason that walking through the mountains took so long. Did Kallen have some pent up irritation about that? She never let any sort of emotions show. Maybe she was just that good at hiding them. It wouldn’t be nearly the strangest revelation about a human woman who could break boulders by punching them hard enough. Or maybe she blamed Malori for bringing her in the first place. It was her idea after all, Ingrid just agreed with it. Alice had made it abundantly clear how much she disliked the human, and despite the vitriol constantly thrown her way she didn’t complain once. Malori was the one who thrust her into that, forcing her into a position where she had to face that in order to not compromise on her desire to help people no matter what. What if she hated Malori for it? What if she was happy to leave without saying goodbye because that meant she didn’t have to acknowle–

“Malori?”

She nearly jumped out of her seat as she was forcefully yanked out of her downward spiral. Looking down at her meal, a slab of roasted goat crusted with herbs and served with potatoes drenched in a delicious gravy and realized that she had barely even touched it. Shakily grabbing her glass of water, she gulped it down in an attempt to fight off the sudden dryness she felt in her mouth and throat. She didn’t even mind when some of it spilled onto her robes in her carelessness.

“Oh dear,” Colette sighed, moving her seat closer to Malori. Weaving her hands in arcane motions, the Archmage held out her fingers, coaxing the water out of the girl’s robes like iron dust to a magnet. The water coalesced into a small, floating bubble above Colette’s hand that she sent drifting over to one of her many plants before plopping down into the soil.

“Th-thank you…” she murmured, barely audible. She didn’t want to see whatever look of disappointment was on Colette’s face.

There was a pause for a moment before the Archmage finally said anything. “Malori, you know it’s okay to not be okay, right?” she said in a gentle voice. It reminded her of the way that maid had talked to Ingrid’s sister the first day she met them.

“W-What?” Against her better judgment, she looked up at Colette. That disgusted or taunting look she had expected to see was nowhere to be found. Instead, it was one of concern. There was no hint of anything condescending or repulsed in her surface emotions either, like what showed up sometimes in Ingrid’s.

“I know you… haven’t known me for very long, but you know you can talk to me if something is bothering you, Malori,” she said carefully. Glancing over at the barely touched meal, a small grin crossed her face. “And if you’re not hungry, I’m sure Medea would love to finish your meal.”

Malori quickly averted her eyes, hoping if she stared at her lap hard enough then Colette wouldn’t notice the red that filled her pale cheeks. “Th-Th-Thank you…” she whimpered nervously. “Y-You don’t have to do that though! Y-You’ve already treated me very well, and I’m a c-criminal, technically. You don’t have to keep f-forcing yourself.”

“I’m not forcing myself to do anything,” Colette assured her, leaning to the side on the table. “I said when we met I’d like to speak more with you. Doesn’t this count?”

She had said that in their first meeting, hadn’t she. While technically Malori couldn’t forget it, the comment had slipped her mind. There was a lot of mental stress in her head the past two days. “R-Right, you wanted to speak to another esper…”

Colette shook her head. “I wanted to speak with you. Being an esper had nothing to do with it,” she explained. “Though I am happy to continue helping you get to know your own abilities. Admittedly it’s… kind of fun, learning the other side of that.”

Malori looked up at her, confused. “Why did you want to talk to m-me?”

“I don’t really have much of a reason, if I’m being completely honest,” she said, sounding slightly embarrassed. “I rarely do. Ivar was just as confused.”

“What do you m-mean?”

“Well, I didn’t have much of a reason to be friends with him either. I first came to the palace when my mother sent me here. My grandmother was the Archmage at the time, you see. But, considering how much interest I had shown in magic, I was sent to live with her,” she started. The smile on her face was almost infectious. Just looking at it made Malori feel more at ease. “While my grandmother was in a meeting and I was supposed to be waiting for her, I snuck off to explore the castle. I ended up discovering a massive room with nothing in it aside from the table in the center, and one large bookshelf being organized by a half-orc boy about my age. I couldn’t tell you what it was about him, but in that moment I saw him, I decided I wanted to be his friend.”

“Th-There was really nothing?” Malori queried, “S-Surely you knew about the Prince, didn’t you? I can’t imagine a single citizen who wouldn’t at least be a-aware of the crown.”

“I was aware, yes, but after briefly meeting King Gertrud, I suppose I assumed the Prince would be another human. I was only around four at the time, I didn’t really know how different species worked,” she chuckled fondly. “He knew who I was, and I think he assumed I was just trying to get close to him because of his station. Even at that age he was already thinking about things like that. You wouldn’t believe how long it took him to believe me when I told him I didn’t care. But once he did, we started meeting up to talk about all sorts of things. Magic, history, religion, books, politics, you name it.”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh! Goodness, I’m sorry, I got sidetracked. I forgot what I was even trying to say,” she admitted awkwardly. It surprised Malori a little, seeing the normally professional woman blush like that. “Well, not ‘forgot’ forgot, just–nevermind. When I meet people, sometimes I just have this… feeling. It’s not one I can really describe, but it’s there. I’ll see a person and my brain just tells me that it wants to be friends with them.”

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

A strange feeling that made someone want to be friends. Malori had never heard of something like that, let alone experienced it. She wondered what it felt like. Was it a good feeling? Did it make her feel anxious? Determined? Hopeful? It was as fascinating as it was confusing.

“S-So you…” she trailed off, realizing finally what had actually been said. “You want to be f-friends with me?”

Colette tilted her head. “Well, yes. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Uncomfortable wasn’t the word Malori would have used to describe how she felt. That couldn’t have been true. Why would anyone want to be friends like that with her? She gripped her robes as another wave of anxiety washed over her. She was alone, in a strange place, surrounded by strange people. Yet, here she was having lunch and a heart to heart with a strange woman who supposedly wanted nothing from her. She gulped. Maybe it was to try and make sure nothing happened to the link they held with the other four. Why else would she be speaking so candidly to her? Clearly she wanted something.

Malori took a shaky breath. They always wanted something. Alig wanted a protege to make him look good. Ingrid wanted a healer. Berith wanted a lab rat. The orphanage wanted a punching bag. Colette wanted something, she knew it. Ingrid was the first one who had ever seemed at all genuine in her attempts to be friends, but that fell apart more and more the longer their journey went on. That would happen with Colette too, wouldn’t it?

For now, the best thing she could do was play along and keep herself safe.

Ingrid felt like she could fly. Well, she was flying, but she felt so good that any moment she might start floating off of the wyvern’s back and above the clouds. Was this what Natalia got to see every time she went scouting? Her heart ached with envy as she glanced over at the wings keeping her friend aloft, wishing she had them. The views she had gotten in the mountains were beyond beautiful. They were ethereal, otherworldly. They made her want to just drop everything and stare at the gorgeous world she got to be a part of. Up in the sky, she got to have all of those views at once. This must have been what the priests meant when they said that the ari were Nilin’s favorite.

Since the moment she and Alice took off, things had only gotten more incredible. Looking back, she could see the houses and buildings that traveled lower and lower down the mountain from the palace like a mudslide, the streets bustling with specs that must have been people. Getting to see the mountains and ridges from high above though? It was something else entirely. She had to wonder if the lightheadedness was from the beauty, vertigo, the altitude, or a mix of the three. There was a hint of terror every time she looked down and imagined slipping and being sent careening towards the ground below, but in a strange, roundabout way, that excited her even more.

Every once in a while, she could see the distant villages and cities of the country, each one adding to the beauty in their own distinct way. One city was built entirely on top of a still lake at the bottom of a valley, with powerful walls constructed in the mountains around it, likely to prevent an avalanche. Another was built into the mountain itself. As they flew over it, she could look down into the enormous hole carved into the peak that revealed the different levels and tiers that she could barely make out from her altitude. She wondered if Mattias got to see these views. If he had already made it to Reach, then he was likely teleporting there as fast as he could, meaning he probably didn’t. Ingrid vowed to herself to show them all to him when she brought him back. Just the thought of his excited reactions made the smile that refused to leave her face that much bigger.

“I’m glad one of us is fuckin’ enjoyin’ this,” Alice grumbled nervously.

Despite her confidence upon takeoff, she didn’t seem to have fully processed what they were going to be doing. Her face had gone pale as a ghost as she clutched the saddle for dear life. Ingrid was fairly certain she had even heard the dark elf praying while they were over the mountain city. Of all the things Alice could have been afraid of, heights certainly weren't what Ingrid had expected. Then again, simply referring to their current situation and Alice’s reaction as acrophobia felt a little disingenuous. Maybe Ingrid should have been a little concerned at the reaction if they were going to have to endure another five or so days of this before even getting to Reach.

By the time they finally touched down to prepare a camp for the night, Alice immediately sprinted off into the woods and out of sight. Ingrid winced as she heard the distant sound of her lover getting sick. She made a mental note to use healing magic the following day to help keep her stomach less upset.

The dark elf returned, taking shaky steps as she approached the clearing they had touched down in. Ingrid held in a laugh as her lover staggered up to her looking like she’d just gone through hell. She stood there for a moment, unmoving, before promptly going limp and slumping onto Ingrid, her face buried in her shoulder.

“Tomorrow can we maybe not go so high?” the muffled voice said.

“Of course, Dear,” Ingrid choked out, still trying not to laugh.

“...Do you think you can do dinner tonight?”

“Yes, I can.”

“Oh! If you’re feeling hot or nauseous, try putting your wrists in the snow!” Kallen suggested cheerfully, demonstrating with one hand as the other continued setting up her tent. “A lot of blood goes through there, so it helps cool you down!”

Ingrid felt Alice freeze, like she was weighing the pros and cons of continuing to feel like garbage or having to say she took Kallen’s advice on something. Slowly pushing herself up from Ingrid, she wordlessly stepped over to a snowbank. She stared down at her wrists for a moment. Slowly holding them out, she stopped once more, then plopped face first into the snow. The other three stared at her for a good ten seconds as she lay there unmoving.

“I think it’s helping,” Kallen said proudly before returning to her tent.

Ingrid let out a fond sigh. She’d move when she was ready. “Natalia, would you mind setting up a fire pit? I’m going to make dinner soon.”

The illian gave a grunt of acknowledgement, doing as she was asked. Ingrid wondered how tired her wings must have been after flying for that long. They were mostly sustained through magic as Colette said, but surely there was a physical aspect to it. She’d have to ask her about it once this was all over. Covering her eyes, she glanced up to the orange hues of twilight that bathed their camp. They’d traveled as far as they possibly could for one day unless they really wanted to exhaust themselves. She sighed. The mundane bits of travel were her least favorite parts. Far too much time to think about what could go wrong. Or the ever-present anxiety that they weren’t going fast enough.

She shook off those thoughts and focused on getting out supplies to cook. As she did, she felt a little proud. It had been almost a month since her last panic attack, the one in Berith’s prison hut. Just a few months ago, she wouldn’t have been able to let thoughts like those simply float by without getting stuck on them. She hoped Alice was proud of her too. She glanced over at her, still face down in the snow. Who was she kidding? Of course she was. She made it clear with every kiss, every touch, every word. It was quickly becoming another thing Ingrid loved about her.

Ingrid began to feel a strange prodding sensation in the back of her mind. The suddenness made her jump, like someone had just pressed cold hands onto the back of her neck. Realizing what it likely was, she tried to open her mind to it and let it in.

That was excellent, Malori! I had assumed it would take us a few tries.

Oh, th-thank you…

Ingrid smiled. It was good to hear her friend’s voice again. It may have only been half a day or so, but after spending so long in her company, the sudden shift was more than noticeable.

Hello you two, I assume this is the check in? she sent politely.

That it is. I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright.

H-How is everyone els–

A long, loud groan interrupted Malori. Ingrid couldn’t help but laugh at the suddenness of it.

It seems that Alice struggles with heights, she explained, regaining her composure.

Consider it karma for making me wear that ridiculous cloak, Natalia grumbled.

We all made you wear the cloak, remember? Kallen added, sounding a little too excited.

Do you think it’s even possible for me to forget?

Well, it seems that everything is in order, Colette chimed in, trying to stay on task. You made good progress today. Malori and I will be making more frequent check-ins once you actually make it to Reach proper, as that’s when we began losing contact with our soldiers. Until then we’ll keep it to a basic ‘one in the morning, one in the evening’ schedule. Does that sound agreeable?

Of course. Thank you, Colette. Remember to make sure Malori gets enough sleep as well! Ingrid said. She felt another sensation that she could only describe as being sent an emotion. It surprised her slightly, not expecting something so foreign to happen so casually. It was a feeling of affirmation, like someone had nodded rather than saying ‘yes’ out loud. She blinked as she regained her bearings. Telepathic communication wasn’t as easy to get used to as she thought.

They didn’t receive any more messages from Colette or Malori that night, and were peacefully left to their own devices. They made and ate dinner, Alice managed to actually keep the food down, and they retired to their tents like any other night. It was the same routine as they had done so many times on the road, but something about it felt different. She missed Malori. She wondered if anyone else did.

“Alice, Dear, is it alright if I ask something?” she began as she wormed her way into the bed roll, snuggling up to the taller woman. Immediately, she felt more relaxed as Alice wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close enough to feel her breathing.

“Mm, what’s up?” the dark elf mumbled.

There was a pause as Ingrid tried to figure out how to properly phrase the question. “Why do you hate Kallen so much?”

It wasn’t the most accurate way of asking. It was a question she had asked before and barely gotten a straight answer. There was something more there, something that she wondered if Alice was even aware of. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was no matter how hard she tried, but each time she asked, the responses seemed to always carefully dance around something.

Alice sighed in exasperation. “I thought I told you, I don’t trust her.”

“But it’s been almost a month, and she hasn’t given us any reason not to,” she insisted. Why was Alice so adamant about not trusting someone with a heart like Kallen’s?

“Hasn’t given you any reason not to, she’s given me plenty. I get it, Love, you disagree, but can we just go to bed? I’m tired,” she groaned.

Ingrid pouted. “What about Ivar and Colette? You were going out of your way to try to annoy Ivar, despite him giving us a cha–”

“No, no he wasn’t,” she sounded more than just tired as she interrupted. “He didn’t give a damn, he saw us as an opportunity. Abused the fact that we wanted to head up to Reach anyway so that we’d say yes, not that he needed us to. He wanted that kinda reaction though. It’s how politics work. Convince someone you’re doing them a favor when you’re just getting them to do your dirty work.”

“I didn’t… think about that…” Ingrid trailed off. Was that true? He was just trying to take advantage of them and make them think he was the one helping them?

“Love, powerful people are taught one thing above all else, and that’s how to get their way. Conversations with them are a way more confusing battleground than a psychopath with weird tattoos. You’re a Druid. You’re gonna be dealing with them. You gotta learn how to navigate that kinda fight.”

Ingrid pulled herself tighter into Alice’s embrace. She hoped what Alice was saying was just paranoia, but she knew that to some extent, it wasn’t. Stories from Labhras about corrupt nobles that he had to visit, the existence of slums and criminal undergrounds and the way they operated, why did things like that happen? Did people in power really want to take advantage of others to that degree? How would that explain Labhras though? The King and his advisors, Colette, the doctors in the Royal Hospital, the priests of the religious district. They were all people that held power, yet tried to do good with it. That couldn’t just be some sort of illusion, could it? The thoughts made her head spin.

Alice seemed to notice, given the way she squeezed her tighter. “Heh, sorry for dumpin’ that all out,” she grimaced, “It’s an annoyingly confusing world we live in, isn’t it?”

“It feels like I plunged right into the depths when I’d barely been taught how to swim,” she murmured, clutching Alice like she’d vanish if she let go.

“I know. I know, Love. I’m here though. I’m here for you, and I’m not goin’ anywhere. There’s not a damn thing in the world that’ll keep me from protecting you however I can,” she said softly, planting a small kiss on top of Ingrid’s head.

Some of the anxiety gripping at her melted away as the dark elf’s lips made contact, like sucking the venom from a snake bite. Still, something about it didn’t sit quite right. The thought of Alice protecting her made her heart flutter, but part of her felt like it wasn’t something she wanted. Alice had been through so much, and it felt like she had barely even scratched the surface of everything the woman had experienced. She wanted to protect her from some of that too. The things that had hurt her, the things that made her okay with being treated poorly, was it wrong for Ingrid to want to protect her from them? Was it already too late?

“I love you, now and forever, Ingrid.”

“I love you too, Alice.”

Five words never felt like they said so much and yet not nearly enough. She did love her. She loved her more than she could describe. But there was so much more she wanted to say. All the things she wanted to do and be. She wished she had the words to describe them. She prayed that someday she would. For now, all she could do was rest, and take solace in the fact that she could do it in Alice’s arms. Neither spoke beyond those declarations, worried that any further conversation would somehow take away from their meaning.

A vice gripped her heart as she thought more about their task. Reach was dangerous, even compared to the rest of Amalthea. A whole manner of beasts and monsters wandered its mountains, and that wasn’t even including the land itself. It was supposedly inhospitable, difficult, and outright deadly to traverse. Ivar may have looked at it lightly for them, but their soldiers really had died or gone missing up until this point. There was a very real possibility of death. A very real possibility that she’d never get a chance to say what she wanted to to the woman she loved.

Ingrid wondered if Cecilia and Ealadha had ever fallen asleep like this. Heads spinning with words left unsaid. Did they ever get a chance to say those words? Did they get to know truly how much they cared for one another? Ingrid took a deep, shaky breath as her eyes drifted close. Deep in the core of her heart, she felt a burning flame of determination. Right now, she didn’t have the words that she so desperately wanted. One day, she would. She vowed to herself that nothing would stop her from reaching that day, no matter who or what it was. She had promised Alice that she would choose for herself, not just follow along with what the world threw her way. If Ivar had robbed her of one choice, she would make another in its stead.

She chose to live.