Alice blinked for a moment, her brain trying to insist that she had just heard that wrong. It was failing. She allowed herself a moment to take a breath. This was Ingrid she was thinking about. The elf never did anything without a reason. She probably didn’t fully grasp how dangerous those totems were.

“Love, I get it, I really do,” Alice started, trying to sound casual. She hoped she was doing a good job. “Figuring out what exactly it is would be great and all, but who knows what that could do. It fucks with your magic, it fucks with communications, let’s just break it like the last one. Easy.”

She hated this strange balance. They needed to get rid of the totem as soon as physically possible, and that was something that had to be conveyed. Of course, trying to balance that with avoiding acknowledging that she partially knew what it did was an absolute nightmare. She wanted so badly to just come clean, spill her guts and explain everything about the situation they’d found themselves in. Tell the group how royally fucked they were and had been since the beginning. Every time she thought she’d mustered the courage, she met Ingrid’s eyes, and then… silence. She couldn’t bring herself to say it. Even now as she opened her mouth, that inquisitive, curious look from the love of her life was like a noose. The words hung there, unsaid.

Ingrid couldn’t know. She didn’t deserve to have to confront that. Not with everything she dealt with already. The poor girl didn’t deserve to have to face all of Alice’s problems on top of those. She gave her lover a pleading look.

Please, please trust me on this? she thought to herself, hoping that maybe the druid would somehow understand.

“Even if it does do things to my magic, we don’t need it very much right now,” Ingrid explained. “Last time, everyone was seriously hurt, we had to make sure I could heal. Now, it’s just traveling. I’m the only one who suffers any negative side effects from that part. Surely that would make my word hold a little more weight when considering it, right? Alice, we don’t even know who these people properly were. If they’re unrelated, if they’re connected to Berith, Cordelia, anything. We might be able to learn some of that from this!”

Maybe it was a placebo effect, but Alice swore the ringing in her ears was getting louder, and headache was getting worse. The latter could have just been irritation. However, Kallen was yet to say anything to confirm.

“Yeah, we could figure that out from this guy too. What about Malori and Colette? They want check ins. Isn’t that a big part of this whole deal?” she grimaced. Gods, she was using Colette as an excuse. She’d really hit rock bottom.

Ingrid tilted her head. “We told them we were entering a Dark Zone, it would be perfectly natural if there was an extended period of time before we exited. Surely they wouldn’t mind for the sake of understanding what we’re actually dealing with, would they?”

“She brings up a good point,” Natalia added. As usual, Alice couldn’t tell where she was looking, but she swore she felt the illian’s gaze land on her. “We still have no idea what these things actually are, other than the fact that they give Ingrid a headache, mess with divination magic, and block telepathic communication. That’s all good information, but it would help more to know how or why they do that. Besides, when were you one to worry about what Colette thought?”

The statement felt like a kick in the chest. Mainly because it was true and there wasn’t a doubt in Alice’s mind that Natalia knew that. She was prodding at her for some sort of reaction. She gritted her teeth, trying to think of how she could spin her response when another voice joined.

“I don’t know, if it’s that screwy, maybe it’s better to just cut it up and be done with it?” Kallen offered. “I mean, if we’re going to understand it, who knows how long that’ll take. We’d probably need Colette and Malori for it too, which means we’d need to take it all the way back. If we’re going to keep one, shouldn’t it be the last one we find?”

Alice wanted to bash her head against a wall. Of all of the people to come to her aid, Kallen was the one arguing for her case. She glanced at Ingrid and Natalia, desperate for one of them to take her side, even just acknowledge that what she said made sense. Both remained silent. Alice’s mouth went dry. It was either siding with two people she hated beyond all words, but had the right idea like some sort of fucked up broken clock, or the woman she loved more than anything, and the one other person on this entire journey who would actually listen to reason. Who would actually listen to reason any time other than now. A part of her just wanted to laugh. Of course this was how it went down. Maybe she really was just shitty entertainment for the gods. She swallowed the enormous lump in her throat.

“Fuckin… fine. We keep this one,” she grumbled, her mind already racing with ways out of this. “We try to figure out what it is, but if we’re making no progress, please can we just destroy it?”

Oh. Oh she hated that. The way her voice sounded when she was pleading made her want to vomit. It reminded her far too much of growing up, and those were memories she’d rather put a pin in. Ideally, that pin would also go in a lockbox, get chained up, and then thrown into Astralis so that it would never touch any proper realm of existence ever again.

Natalia was stone faced as she turned to face Alice. It took everything in her power not to wince. “We’ll see how it goes, and then we’ll decide.”

Alice bit her lip so hard she had to stop before she drew blood. The past week had already been one of the most miserable she had dealt with in ages, and new things just kept one upping it. She stopped, glancing back at their terrified prisoner. She’d forgotten he was here. He probably heard everything, and was just waiting for a chance to run back to his boss and spill every secret that had been disclosed. Alice grimaced, stalking towards him and grabbing the back of his collar again.

“Fine, you guys have fun with that. I’m on interrogation duty,” she called back.

“Um, I’m not sure what that entails for you, so please be gentle with him?” Ingrid said in a concerned voice. On a better day, Alice would have grabbed the low hanging fruit and made an innuendo. Yeah. Yeah this was not a better day.

“I’ll see how it goes, then I’ll decide.”

“You’re really just going to let her go and do that alone? She seems a little volatile for it,” Natalia said absentmindedly, poking at the totem.

Ingrid clicked her tongue. “I mean, ideally no, but when else am I going to get a chance to talk to you two alone about this?” she knew how obvious the stress in her voice was. Part of that was because of the headache. It was not a very large part. Natalia tilted her head to look at her, a neutral face the only thing greeting her.

“And you’re sure you’re okay sacrificing that man for a chat?”

She stopped. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. Alice was practical, even at times like these. She wouldn’t take her anger out on a prisoner just because she was annoyed. “I’m not sacrificing him. I trust her.”

It didn’t sound as confident as she would have liked.

Natalia’s eyebrows flicked up, a look of annoyance on her face. It took her a while to figure it out, but she’d come to know that as the telltale sign of the illian rolling her eyes.

“What, am I supposed to apologize for having faith in the woman I love?” she snapped.

“No, no,” Natalia sighed, standing up straight and crossing her arms. “I’ve had this chat once. If you’re still not willing to listen, I see no point in having it again. I said my piece, you’ll either listen or you won’t. It isn’t particularly my problem. Specifically trying to force it? That could make things my problem, and I happen to like the discount I’m getting.”

“Discount?” Ingrid approached the totem, not breaking eye contact with her compatriot. “Discount for wha–AH!” she yelped and yanked her hand away from the device, cradling it in her armpit. “Why is it so hot! Why didn’t you tell me?” she snapped angrily.

Natalia raised an eyebrow, looking completely indifferent. “How was I supposed to know it was hot? It feels completely normal to me. Most things do.”

“You can’t even tell if something is a little warmer than usual?”

“It does feel a little warmer. Do you expect me to equate dull heat with ‘hey, don’t touch this, it will burn your hand off’ or something?” she shrugged. “Look on the bright side, it pulled you out of your spiral. Now, you said you wanted to talk to Kallen and I. What do you need?”

Gods did she want to just dig her heels in and berate the woman for how rude she could be. The worst part was that she was right. They’d only have so much time before Alice brought their prisoner back, she didn’t need to waste that arguing.

“Can we walk and talk? I need to get something.”

Kallen was the one who seemed surprised this time. “From here? Like what?”

“I can explain in a little bit, but I’d like to find one first,” she explained, beckoning the two to follow. “Please?”

Natalia gave the human a quick glance, then shrugged and followed Ingrid. Kallen wasn’t far behind. No matter how many times she got into fights to the death, or even killed other people herself, the one thing she knew she’d never get used to was the smell. Foul didn’t even begin to cover it. Even thinking about it made her shudder. Experiencing it? It took everything in her power to make sure the rations she’d eaten didn’t wind up making a return trip. It carried a different weight at times like this as well. Hunting or coming across animal carcasses smelled terrible, but it was just a smell. Hunting for food was a natural part of life, just the same as animals succumbing to illness or being saved for later by predators. For all the people who preached about the tranquility of nature, there seemed to be a rare few who acknowledged it for the violently ordered chaos that it was. It remained a cycle though. Killing other humanoids was far from natural. It wasn’t a natural cause, it wasn’t part of some cycle of predation, it was just senseless violence. At the very least she could already sense flies and maggots making their way into the decaying corpses. Most people would likely find such a thought beyond disgusting. To a druid, it was comfort. Even in death, new life thrived. At least Nilin watched over them to return them to nature’s chaos and clean up their mess.

Glancing around, she realized how far they’d walked. They were in one of the first rooms Alice cleared out. It was nothing more than a small, square room with a few bunk beds in it and an empty weapon rack. She would have expected Natalia to say something by now, but apparently she was content to wait for Ingrid to come clean herself. She offered silent thanks for the time to process. Gods knew she needed it.

“Did you expect her to agree?” she asked, directing the question to both of them.

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” Natalia deadpanned.

“This is all a little high concept for me, so I don’t think I can answer that super well,” Kallen admitted, tapping the butt of her glaive as they walked.

“What makes you say that, Natalia?”

She shrugged with both her shoulders and her wings. “You backed her into a corner when she’s clearly hiding something, and would rather you not know she’s hiding something. I’m fairly certain that choosing Kallen and Colette over you would have been the most obvious confirmation imaginable.”

“But if she isn’t hiding anything, and she’s just nervous, just like the rest of us I might add, it would achieve the same result,” she insisted. “She would still take my side.”

“Here I was happy that burning your hand pulled you out of this just for you to plunge back down voluntarily,” Natalia rolled her eyes again. “Are you going to ignore the fact that maybe she’s right in her convictions, and she’s going against something she actually wants so that she can show that she supports you?”

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“I don’t see why you’d care about that part, you wanted this too–”

“No, I believe what I said was, and I quote, ‘I don’t give a shit what we do with the next totem,’ alright? I want that clear. You pushed this.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t convince me she’s lying to me about things!” she snapped. The argument was making her lose focus. She closed her eyes again, looking for something that could be discreet enough for what she needed.

“First of all, with everything you’ve seen, it’s a safe bet. Second of all,” Ingrid nearly yelped as Natalia grabbed her by the collar and pulled her close. “Do not try to pin this on me. I offered you advice. Doing this with it was your choice, alright? Influences can tip things one way or another, but you’re the only one making your choices. Don’t shove responsibility on someone else,” she hissed, emphasizing her point by shoving Ingrid back and causing her to stumble. “And if what you’re trying to deflect is blame? Well, stopping is your choice too. Understand?”

Ingrid gulped. The fire in her belly was already beginning to fade. Being this close, she could feel the heat radiating off of her. It was unfocused and overwhelming, like laying under the sun for far too long on a day far too hot. She wriggled herself out of Natalia’s grip, the illian flippantly shoving her off as she did.

“Look at what you’re doing with your decisions then!” she growled, adjusting her collar. “You abuse your size and your blood to get what you want! You push people around like some sort of schoolyard bully!”

Natalia laughed. “Is that what that was? Saving your girlfriend from a mob about to hurl her off a bridge, and making sure you two didn’t get locked up in separate cells? That was me bullying the poor, defenseless, fully armed and armored and horrendously dickish guards?”

“I thought whether or not it benefited me wasn’t relevant? It wasn’t that way for you,” she smirked.

“Are you actually going to compare the alternate outcome of the professed ‘love of your life’ being fucking murdered in the street to me having to sit around for an extra few hours while waiting for an answer from Colette? The fact that you’ve never been outside Baile Cothrom has never been more apparent.”

“Guys?”

“I–That wasn’t the point! It’s the principle! If you can call people out for courses of action that you yourself agreed with, why can’t I do the same?”

“Guys…”

“Because again! There’s a remarkable difference between the outcomes! Have you never heard of false equivalence? Is Kallen calling Alice tiring on the same level of aggression as Alice threatening to kill her and calling her useless at every turn? She’s the entire reason we’re alive!”

“Guys!”

“Fuck!”

Both Kallen and Natalia had different brands of concern in their voices. Ingrid finally realized that Kallen had been trying to get their attention, slightly more assertively as the cause got closer. Natalia on the other hand was in sheer terror. Her eyes went wide, and she launched herself backwards with a powerful flap of her wings.

Ingrid turned around to see a gathering of spiders crawling over the surrounding debris. She couldn’t help but wince a little bit. Spiders were unnerving, even if she was more used to them than most people. Only a few of them were supposed to be called, as she noted their presence within the warm ruins almost as soon as they entered. Her argument with Natalia had caused her emotions to flare, and her concentration faltered. Anger was a wildcard when it came to different plants and animals. The vast majority responded the same to most feelings, but anger always had a much more profound effect, like it was amplified when sent out to the world around her. She took a moment to calm herself, stopping the spiders from their determined dash towards Natalia, who had flown as close to the ceiling as she could.

“I’m not going to try and get in the way of disputes if they really need to happen, but I figured it was worth checking what the deal with that was,” Kallen explained awkwardly.

Ingrid took a deep breath, finally managing to force herself to settle down. She knelt down, looking over the group of spiders, checking them for their various differences. Eventually, she found two or three that would fit what she needed.

“You’re right, I should have tried to keep more self control,” she sighed, turning back to the other two. “This is something I’m passionate about. Honestly, I’m not sure if ‘passionate’ even begins to cover it. I swear, I love that girl so much I can barely think straight sometimes. I just…” she trailed off, staring at the ground. She just what? “I just don’t want to distrust her, or fight with her, or–Gods, it’s hard to put into words. I was never good at them, but they’ve never felt this difficult before.”

“That’s fine, words are kind of hard in general,” Kallen smiled. “The whole situation is scary for you, I can at least get that. It’s scary because you love her so much. You don’t want something to form in the way of that.”

“Kallen, I think you should give yourself more credit at understanding emotions,” she smiled. The human’s words did seem to have a strange way of soothing her. “There are times where you know how to get to the heart of what someone is feeling even when they’re not quite sure. That’s something rather marvelous.”

The woman chewed the inside of her cheek, clearly mulling over the words. “Really? I’m kind of just saying some stuff that I heard from my dad when I’d get in arguments with mom. Or vice versa. No one likes fighting loved ones. If they do… maybe it’s not love.”

“Here, let’s give that empathy a test,” Natalia huffed. “Can you tell how I’m feeling?”

The two grounded women glanced up to where Natalia had huddled into the corner near the roof, giving herself only just enough room to flap her wings and keep herself aloft. It might have been the most scared Ingrid had ever seen her.

“Do… spiders really terrify you that much?” she tilted her head. “It’s not what I would have expected.”

Natalia gritted her teeth. “That’s a story for another day. Can you please get rid of them?”

Ingrid clicked her tongue, giving Kallen a look. The human shrugged. Ingrid linked to the spiders, politely requesting that they stay with her. Feelings of affirmation were returned as they crawled up her leg and took refuge in the safe spaces between her armor and her coat.

“There, out of sight, out of mind,” she said calmly. It was almost jarring, to have Natalia shift gears to this so quickly. She had a habit of bouncing around with her emotions. Nothing ever seemed to stick for very long.

Cautiously, the illian returned to the ground, keeping a fair distance from herself and Ingrid. After letting silence linger for too long, she let out a sigh. “Ingrid, don’t think this isn’t coming from a place of understanding,” she said quietly, crossing her arms. “Do you think I’ve never had a lover before? Romance aside, I’ve had a long list of people who meant the world to me, who I would march through hell and back for without a second thought. I don’t know how many times I need to repeat this, but I can’t stress it enough. I don’t want to drive you and Alice apart. By the gods though, you have some growing up to do when it comes to this.”

Ingrid gave her an offended look. “Well that was probably the rudest way you could have said that. Do you have issues with my maturity?”

“I meant both of you,” she deadpanned. “Alice needs to get her shit together, one way or another.”

“So I know I’ve said that I don’t really like trying to say bad things about people, but it’s hard to disagree with her,” Kallen admitted. “Alice kind of has issues.”

“I–” Ingrid stopped herself. Starting a third argument wasn’t going to help anyone. They were tired, they’d just fought through a small stronghold, and that was after a near-full day of travel. What little energy she had could be focused elsewhere. “Natalia, you mentioned lovers? Other people you were close to?”

“Yes.”

She clicked her tongue. “Where are they now?”

“They’re dead.”

Ingrid winced. That was too quick, too simple, and with no room to expand. It was abundantly clear that there weren't any exceptions to list. It was far too light of a statement for something like that. Natalia’s grip on her own arms was tightening, and her feathers were standing slightly on end. She was keeping it all in for Ingrid’s sake. Ingrid wanted to kick herself, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt like this much of a jerk. She glanced between her two companions, both looking at her softly. Two people who had lost everyone close to them helping her find her brother, while she had a lover at her side. She couldn’t help but wonder if that was hard to be around. Yet here they were, trying to talk about her issues and work through them.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could muster up.

Natalia shrugged. “No point in apologizing. They can’t hear you. They can’t hear me either.”

Ingrid furrowed her brow. “That’s a sad way of looking at it. You never… talk to them? Even just in your head?”

“Not particularly. What few times I have, it’s not for them. It’s for me. There’s nothing that can be done for them anymore.”

“I see…” Ingrid winced again.

“I think it’s getting kind of late,” Kallen chimed in, cutting the tension. “It might be good to get some rest, think on things, right? When Alice gets back from interrogating, we can talk about it in the mor–”

“Works for me, I’m fuckin’ tired.”

Ingrid jumped at Alice’s sudden appearance in the room with them. How long had she been standing there? Even her companions seemed taken aback. “Oh! Um, hello Alice, did–” she stopped, looking around. “Where did he go?”

“Gave him a pack of supplies and a kick in the ass and sent him in a random direction. I got what I wanted, figured it was the least I could do,” she sighed, rubbing one of her eyes. “And for the record, no I didn’t torture him.”

Ingrid held in the sigh of relief. “I’m happy to hear that. Is there anything you’d like to get out of the way now with it? Or are you that tired?”

“That tired,” she repeated. “Nothing I figured out will change anything now that can’t just be done in the morning. But,” she paused for a moment. “I did get some good stuff. Let’s get some rest so she can actually use it?”

Keeping the smile away was all but impossible as Ingrid walked over to her and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Sleep sounds wonderful. Does anyone mind just having a few rations for dinner?”

“I’ll eat pretty much anything that didn’t come out of a dumpster,” Kallen chimed. She paused. “Actually that’s negotiable.”

“Rations are fine, yes,” Natalia smiled, shaking her head. “I’ve grown used to such foods. Let’s make it quick though? I haven’t slept since the night after fighting the dragon. I think this might be my day of the week.”

Ingrid smiled, taking a deep breath. She looked up at her lover, who had one arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her into a hug. Her smile widened. Everything was going to be alright. All she had to do was get through the hard parts.

Alice was beyond careful not to wake Ingrid. She was no stranger to waking up and sneaking out of the bed of whatever woman she found herself with, but this got a little extra care. Partially because this was the second time she’d had to do it with someone she was truly in love with, but partially because this was the biggest gambit she’d taken on this trip. Far bigger than entrusting Natalia with the less savory bits of her magic.

It took an incredible amount of self control not to groan with every movement. Her headache was getting worse after being near the totem for so long. Even if they decided to keep it, did they really need to sleep in the same room as it? She had no idea how Ingrid was sleeping so soundly with this damned ringing. Now that she thought about it, losing this kind of background noise could be jarring. Would this wake her up? She quickly dashed the thought. That was a gamble she needed to take when the alternative was as bad as it was.

Deep breaths, Alice. Not the hardest thing you’ve done, she thought to herself, examining the totem. It was made out of a material that she’d never seen before. One thing was abundantly clear. Regardless of how high quality her knife was, it wasn’t going to do shit against this. Her eyes wandered to where Kallen was splayed out next to an overturned table. Leaning against it, blade down, was a glaive longer than she was tall. She scowled. That can’t be good for the blade. Moron.

The things she would’ve done to know what the hell that glaive was even made out of. Normal metal couldn’t cut through skolopen armor and dragon scales like it was warm butter. Yet Kallen never even let on any sign that she saw it as anything other than a well made glaive. She also thought that she was just a normal human who was stronger than normal.

Because basic ass humans with a decent physique can get hurled into solid stone so hard it breaks, then get back up and keep fighting like nothing happened, she huffed. That was assuming the woman even was human. That kind of absurd durability was expected from Natalia, but Kallen pushed it a step further. Her scowl deepened as she cautiously approached the glaive. Still no motion from the human, not even as she wrapped her fingers around it. It quickly became apparent that this plan was not going to work. She’d seen Kallen twirl and weave the weapon around like it weighed almost nothing, but even with both hands, she could barely get it to move. What little distance she managed to budge it earned her the sound of rock scraping against metal. She quickly set it back and looked around. Her companions hadn’t woken. Good.

She huffed and looked down at the blade, still slightly embedded in the ground. All this had succeeded in doing so far was giving her thirty more questions about the weapon. They could be asked later. Using the glaive was meant to serve two purposes; actually destroying the totem, and pointing the evidence towards someone else. The latter was an art she was very well versed in. She had to be if she wanted to be a half-decent assassin. Kallen wasn’t a disgruntled maid with an irritating employer though, it would need more than just vaguely bringing up that she wanted to destroy the thing too. She let her right hand drift around to the pouch on the back of her belt.

A long, silent sigh escaped her lips as she wrapped her fingers around the gemstone needle. She knelt down, examining the woman’s body for the best point of entry. She needed something linked to a major nerve of some kind, she didn’t have the luxury of the eye like she had with the dragon. It had to be discreet. Stabbing someone in the eye didn’t exactly fit that. Luckily, her body was littered with small cuts and gashes. One closer to the head would be ideal, but she couldn’t afford to be picky.

After a minute or two of searching, she settled on a wound that would give her access to the radial nerve. She removed the pink needle from her bag, aiming it down at the line of dried blood. Her father’s lessons echoed in her mind.

Every connection needs a catalyst. This could be extended eye contact, a conversation of certain length that meets certain conditions, physical touch, or, most simply, Selenite Beacons. Regardless of your catalytic method, resistance to it is built around willpower. A stronger mage can overpower a stronger will, but that isn’t always necessary, the words made her mouth feel dry. Memories of him always had a similar effect: pissing her off. Of course, that was with the exception of the time she finally shoved a knife into the back of his neck. Unfortunately, everything he’d taught her about her methodology was correct. It probably would have been easier to cope with if it wasn’t.

Whatever willpower or resistance a target may have, there’s a time where it’s almost negligible. While your target is asleep, it will be all but impossible for them to resist. There are about four individuals in all of recorded history who have been able to maintain that same level of mental fortitude, and the most recent one died over four centuries ago. Apply a catalyst to sleeping quarry, and the spell will take hold.

Alice took a deep breath as she let all of her questions and conflicts pass through her mind, not focusing on any for longer than a moment. This was the best way to keep Ingrid safe. She had to do this. She plunged the needle into Kallen’s arm, letting her magic flow into it.

After all, what better way to frame someone for something than to actually have them do it?