Malori gasped for breath as she sprinted through the rows and rows of bookshelves that never seemed to end. Her lungs screamed for her to rest and fully catch said breath, but the terror spurned her on even more than her exhaustion. All she could do was run, but every step felt laborious, like she was struggling to wade through a thick muck. Inhuman shrieks rang out from behind her. Closing in on her. Like they were all around and there was nowhere she could go.
Then don’t go anywhere.
A small wail of despair escaped her throat as the muck began to tighten around her ankles. She tried to yank her foot out and keep running, but all she managed to do was trip and come crashing into the grime. She sobbed as she nursed her newly twisted ankle, trying to ignore the cold, filthy sensation of the mud covering her robes and hair.
You’ve wanted to die before. Wished for it. But when it comes, you run. Isn’t that hypocritical? Isn’t that cowardly, pathetic?
Squeezing her eyes shut in a failed attempt at stopping the flood of tears, she covered her ears. She didn’t want to hear the screams. She didn’t want to hear her own thoughts as they berated her for every little thing that she did. Even through her covered ears she could hear the skittering and squelching behind her, interspersed with more of those shrieks that sounded like they were being transmitted directly into her head. She cried harder as they got closer, the sounds closing in from every direction as she could no longer even run.
This is how you’re supposed to feel, remember? Hated. Afraid. Miserable. It’s all you know, isn’t it?
She sucked in more hysteric breaths, desperate to no longer feel like she was being suffocated by her own lungs. The air wouldn’t come. It was like trying to breathe through a small tube that would barely even allow liquid through. It made her panic even more. She wanted to run. She needed to run. She couldn’t run.
As the sounds got closer, she forced her eyes open. Standing before her was a creature wreathed in shadow. A bulbous black form with six crimson eyes stared at her, with seven spindly, sharp legs jutting out from its body. Chunks of shadow sloughed off the creature and into the muck, but the form never diminished in size. The back of the creature bubbled before filling the void with the sound of rending flesh as three pincers tore from its back.
There was a beat of silence as Malori stared at it, forgetting for a moment that she couldn’t breath. A single, pathetic sob escaped her lips before the creature shrieked loud enough she thought her eardrums would burst, and it dashed forward at her.
Then she woke up.
Groggily opening her eyes, she stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to move, just rest and give her heart a moment to stop pounding out of her chest. She did take several deep breaths, relishing in the feeling that she was no longer being suffocated. So many books described awful nightmares and how the protagonist would awaken with a start, gasping for breath and clutching their chest, like Ingrid had after being poisoned by Twilight. It was something that stuck with her since she stopped doing it. Those protagonists saw those dreams as something out of the ordinary, something that caught them off guard. Sure, Malori had had similar reactions for the first few years, but now it just seemed routine. Go to bed, see horrors and memories that she could barely comprehend, wake up and pretend everything was fine. She hated it.
She looked over at the window. The sounds of the city were muted at night, save for the flapping wings of wyverns and their occasional cry. Her heart dropped as she saw no sign of the sun coming up any time soon. She’d have to go to bed again.
She let out a small groan that almost covered up the rumble of her stomach. It made her realize how dry her mouth felt. Forcing herself out of bed, she began stumbling towards the kitchen. She continued to rub sleep from her eyes as she approached the icebox, squinting to try and make out what was actually there.
“I already took the raspberries if you’re looking for them,” droned a voice from behind her.
Malori felt her heart jump in her chest as she whirled around, accidentally jamming the open door into her side painfully. In the common room, sitting in a chair in front of the window was Natalia, a small bowl filled with raspberries next to her.
The illian huffed. “Are you actually surprised? And here I was thinking I’m kind of hard to miss.”
“I-I’m sorry,” she muttered, averting her eyes. She could feel her entire body stiffen as she tried to ignore the pain in her side. Grabbing a glass from one of the cabinets, she placed a few ice cubes in it and filled it with water. It tasted as sweet as fresh pastries as she gulped it down.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Natalia asked.
Malori shook her head. She wasn’t even sure if Natalia noticed, but she nodded.
“I can’t either.”
“Do you need to sleep?” Malori tilted her head.
“Every once in a while, yes. It’s like Colette said though, most of my bodily functions are maintained via magic. I don’t experience sleep the same way you do.”
“...I’d hope not,” she muttered, a shiver going through her body as she thought of what she had just woken up from.
Natalia turned to her. Malori had to look away. Eye contact was hard enough with normal people. Staring at two luminous balls of energy made her beyond uncomfortable.
“How do espers sleep?” she asked quietly, turning back out towards the city and popping a raspberry into her mouth. She pushed the bowl slightly towards Malori, inviting her to take one.
Malori blinked, a little surprised by both the question and the mundane showing of generosity that she was yet to really see from Natalia. She approached the bowl and took a berry, slowly bringing it to her mouth and taking a bite. It was far sweeter than she had expected, the flavor spreading through her mouth as she bit down on it. She still preferred apples when it came to pastries, but something about the taste made her feel far calmer than she had previously been.
“...I’m not sure,” she admitted, “I know that the w-way that I do isn’t normal for people like Ingrid. B-But I barely even know if it’s normal for me.”
Natalia nodded thoughtfully. “Is Colette the first other esper you’ve met?”
Malori gave a small nod, eating another berry.
“I see,” her companion said wistfully. She stepped forward and looked down at the city, her wings twitching ever so slightly, like she wanted to take off. “I can’t say that’s an alien experience for me. Gods know I’ve never even seen, let alone met another illian before. I suppose that makes us both mysteries to ourselves then, doesn’t it?”
Malori stared out at the sleeping city. She had never thought about it like that. Illians were potentially rarer than espers, with some sources saying that there were only around twenty of them in the world at a time. Looking up at Natalia, she tried to understand what she was feeling, but to no avail. It was much easier to do with Alice and Ingrid. As much as Alice tried, she was never very good at hiding her emotions in any capacity other than visually. Her head was constantly churning with irritations and anger that made it almost hard to be around her sometimes. Ingrid was a mess of anxiety with bouts of confidence that filled Malori with envy.
Kallen and Natalia were strange when it came to their emotions. Kallen radiated nothing but sheer indifference whenever Malori was around her. She never appeared to be putting much thought into anything. Even bleeding out on the floor of that cave, the only emotions she gave off were neutrality. Natalia on the other hand, felt like some sort of wall. Malori would search and search for any gaps, any holes that might give some insight into what was happening inside, but there were none. Her emotions were hidden to an almost unhealthy degree. The only bit of information Malori could eke out from concentrating as hard as she could a few times was that it never seemed like Natalia was hiding her emotions from prying minds. It was more like she was hiding them from herself.
“I guess it’s just a specific brand of loneliness,” Natalia sighed wistfully, “Though I must say, it’s oddly nice to have someone who can understand it.”
Malori looked back at her quizzically. “What do you m-mean?”
“What’s that old saying? ‘Misery loves company’ or something,” she huffed. She held a berry between her thumb and forefinger, rolling it over a few times before tossing it in the air and catching it in her mouth. “I would’ve thought you’d know with all the books you’ve read. They aren’t all romance, are they?”
It was hard not to understand. After spending so long miserable and alone, meeting people going through hardships like her made her feel like she actually had a place. She winced. Was this a place? Every day that went by, she swore she could feel Alice’s disdain for her growing. She shook her head, trying to banish those thoughts. Those were supposed to be the intrusive ones, the ones she’d ignore because they weren’t true. That’s what Father Alig said at least.
“I-I’m familiar with the saying, I guess it’s just a bit s-strange,” she admitted, “I never thought I’d be speaking with someone like you, l-let alone having that sort of understanding.”
“I’ve found that you’ll come to strange understandings with even stranger people in my time,” she looked down at another raspberry, tossing it up only for it to bounce off her cheek rather than landing in her open mouth. “Shit, um, you didn’t see that,” she grumbled.
Malori blinked as Natalia picked up the berry and ate it off the floor, muttering something about a rule of seconds. This angelic, larger than life being felt so… Humanoid. “N-Natalia? Is it alright if I ask a question?”
The woman sighed. “You can ask lots of questions. It doesn’t mean you’ll get answers to all of them.”
She bit her lip, looking back out at the city. “When people t-treat you like an… an angel, or look up to you, do you enjoy it?” she asked quietly. “You don’t need to give a d-detailed response. I suppose I’m just c-curious.”
Natalia stayed silent. She stared out at the city next to Malori, like she was searching for something specific that would pop right out if she stared long enough.
“That’s quite a question.”
“I-I’m sorry if it’s too personal, I get l-lost in my own head sometimes and–”
“I’m kind of surprised at how you seem to barely talk sometimes yet talk too much at others,” she deadpanned.
Malori’s shoulders sagged. She had no idea what to even say to that. “I-I’m sorry…” she mumbled.
The silence pervaded the room once more, leaving Malori to ruminate on the jab at her until Natalia finally spoke again.
“Would you like my honest answer?”
Unsure of what to say, all she could manage was a small nod.
Natalia sighed. “My honest answer is that I despise it.”
“R-Really?” Malori looked up at her, confused. It certainly wasn’t the response she expected.
“It’s a nuisance at the best of times, and a burden at the worst. Take today,” she grunted, “Those people were about to murder Alice, or at least try to. I have no doubt that Alice would have survived, but not without making the situation infinitely worse. I show my wings, and everything stops. No one makes another move at her, not even the guards.”
“I’m not sure I f-follow…”
“The point is that I have my own shit to work through, and yet people look to me for their own answers. I’m just one woman, I don’t want to have to be the moral compass for an entire mob of people, or have others sucking up to me because they want to have friends in high places,” her wings twitched in clear irritation as she crossed her arms. “If I left, they would have gone right back to whatever horrible things they think make them righteous. It’s disgusting.”
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Malori was a little taken aback by the passionate response. She’d always wanted people to see her in a positive light that never shone on her. It was strange seeing someone so vehemently against that. Then again, her and Natalia were polar opposites in that sense. A pathetic young girl who couldn’t do anything right versus a divine being of beauty and radiance. Her shoulders sagged further.
“You got your answer, what’s got you so depressed?” Natalia droned, then huffed in what almost sounded like amusement. “I say that as if depressed isn’t your default mood.”
Malori winced. It wasn’t untrue, but having it pointed out so bluntly stung a bit. “I just n-never considered what something like that would be from the r-receiving end,” she explained, “M-Maybe that’s how the g-gods fee–”
“Don’t,” Natalia growled, causing Malori to freeze up. “Don’t compare me to any gods, any celestials, or any otherworldly garbage you were thinking of. Did you even listen? I’m a person, and it’s damn irritating the lengths I have to go to to get people to see me as one.”
“I-I-I’m sorry!” she yelped, cowering away from the taller woman, “I-I didn’t mean anything by it, I just, I thought about how certain, um, e-entities are worshiped despite never really asking to be! A-A-And maybe they would like it more if they were just, um, p-people…”
Natalia’s glare slowly softened. She scoffed and sat down in one of the nearby chairs, fidgeting and spreading her wings as she tried to get them in a comfortable position to lean back. “Clerics always find a way to link everything back to gods in some way, don’t they?” she grumbled. “How do you think a god would even respond to a lack of worship? Would they become sad? Lonely? Angry? Desperate? A better question, why should you or I give a damn about beings from a different plane of existence and their feelings? They’re not children, they’re gods. If they didn’t like the way things were, they would make it known.”
Malori shifted nervously. Had she managed to have a single conversation lately that didn’t end in the other person furious in some way? Alice hated her, Natalia was angry, and she couldn’t hold a conversation with Kallen to save her life. She wished she could even look at the human without her heart pounding out of her chest, but every time she saw her, her mouth went dry and her head would spin. It wasn’t the first time she had feelings for someone, but it was by far the most potent.
That left Ingrid. Despite her efforts to grow closer to the rest of the group, Ingrid was the only one that truly felt like her friend. She took a shaky breath. If she kept working at it, she could get better. She would start to have a place, right? The thought made her feel worse.
“I-I’m going to go back to bed,” she murmured, not daring to look Natalia in the eye, “I’m sorry for making you i-irritated. It wasn’t my intention.”
The woman didn’t say anything. Malori wasn’t even sure if she looked at her. The only thing she could really think about was the growing pit in her stomach as she thought about going back to sleep.
“We’re a little bit late, but Her Majesty will be fine. She’s never been the most punctual either,” Colette mused, smiling at the gathered group.
Ingrid rubbed her eyes. She’d had to wake up much earlier than she was used to in order to take a bath, and had even fallen asleep in the warm water. She was beyond grateful that she could pretend to not be nobility, otherwise the shame of falling asleep and being late to an audience with the king of a nation would have been something she could never live down. Chimsley would have been scolding her for the entire hour and a half they were late by. A smile crept across her face as she thought of the man. Hopefully, they could find Mattias soon and be back in Cordelia so she could return to cooking with him.
“We’ve taken the liberty of already setting up the teleportation magic while you were all getting ready. It wouldn’t have been very professional of me to let a few strangers learn national secrets.”
“Wouldn’t the fact that you can do it at all be a national secret?” Alice grumbled, rolling her eyes.
“Well, yes. But when the King herself deemed it necessary, there wasn’t much I could do to argue,” she explained, guiding everyone to the common room where the rest of her entourage were waiting.
Ingrid almost tripped over nothing as she entered the room, with Alice and Malori seeming just as surprised. In the center of the room was a shimmering, ovular portal. The edges glowed a bright white not unlike Natalia’s eyes, and they shifted and wobbled like heat waves. The portal itself was a shifting miasma of purples and blues that she almost had to squint to look at.
Colette chuckled at their surprise. “Thank you, I’m quite proud of it. It was one of the first spells I created as Archmage.”
Ingrid furrowed her brow. “We didn’t say anything though.”
“You didn’t need to. The emotions radiating off of you said enough.”
Alice looked beyond irritated. “Alright, don’t give a shit if I’m a dark elf and you’re an Archmage, do not look in my head like that. Ever.”
“Ah, apologies, I didn’t mean to give that impression. Reading emotions is something more passive, for my kind. While we can focus further, the general idea of what one is feeling is usually apparent. Ingrid and Malori were impressed with my work, and I thought it polite to thank them for it.”
The dark elf’s eyes narrowed. “You’re creepy.”
Despite Colette seeming a bit offended by the comment, she kept a professional air about her. “Well, regardless, we should be going. The King has already prepared herself to meet you, and even if she doesn’t mind me being a little bit late, things will likely go over more smoothly if I don’t irritate her for you.”
Natalia was the first to move, uncrossing her arms and marching through the portal without a word. Kallen followed after. Ingrid felt Alice’s fingers intertwine with hers. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and stepped forward.
The moment she stepped out of the portal, she felt dizzy. She had been used to climbing to higher and higher altitudes after traveling through the mountains for the past few weeks, but the sudden shift was jarring. The air felt thinner than it was supposed to be, and it took quite a bit of self control not to start gasping immediately.
Around them was an enormous stone courtyard with heaps of snow piled up in the corners, flakes of powder drifting down from the gray sky. The ground looked meticulously tiled, without a single sign of magic usage. She was shocked as she realized that all of this had been set by hand. At the center of the courtyard was a walkway of black bricks that led to a staircase, and behind that, a castle that she could only assume to be where the crown of Amalthea resided. She stared at the imposing building in awe. Stone spires rose high in its center, connected to a large half-pyramid base. There were seven spires in total, six thinner ones linked by bridges to one massive tower at the center with a flattened top lined by battlements. Looking back behind the portal, a large wall with a sealed gate ran along the thin entrance of a horseshoe shaped mass in whatever mountain they were on.
The battlements of the wall were lined with guards, and another two rows of guards lined the pathway from the portal to the proper gates of the castle. Ingrid was at a loss for words as she took in the scenery. She desperately wanted to sprint out of the gates and see the city that she knew would surround a castle like this, just to learn what other fascinating ways the environment was used in a place like this.
“You good, Princess? You look like you just saw… I dunno I can’t think of a comparison right now but let’s just pretend I said something clever that meant good,” Alice joked, poking Ingrid on the cheek.
“Yes, just a little… awestruck. I never dreamed of a castle like this. It’s incredible!” she breathed quietly.
“Eh, I think it’s a little dreary. No color or anything. Let’s face it, literally anything can be improved with purple,” she grinned, gesturing to her scarf flapping in the breeze.
Colette’s guards shuffled through the portal next, the gnomish woman rolling her eyes and stomping over to a more haphazard pile of snow and shouting at the guard next to it. Ingrid furrowed her brow as the two groups waited there, each missing a member.
“Um, if I may ask, where are Colette and Malori?” she asked politely.
The man with the bow, Castor, shrugged his shoulders. “They’re back through the portal. Colette was probably asking about something and got sidetracked. We can just wait for them.”
Ingrid nodded, looking around at the unflinching guards that lined the pathway. The lackadaisical nature of Colette’s personal guards as well seemed to indicate that this was a normal occurrence for her. They didn’t have to wait long before the Archmage stepped through the portal, Malori close behind.
“Well, we can head right in. Follow me please!” she said simply, walking calmly down the path with her hands clasped behind her grimoire. Castor and Eurytus looked towards Ingrid and the group, waiting for them to move first before following along. The gates of the castle were giant, dark wooden doors that, similar to the masonry of the castle, also looked meticulously carved by hand. Ingrid would have expected guards to have to force them open slowly from their sheer size, but was shocked to see Colette simply raise her hand and flick it once to each side, sending both doors sweeping open. She stared at the woman in awe, wondering whether that came from her training as a mage or her inherent abilities as an esper. Neither Colette nor her guards acted like it was anything out of the ordinary though, and walked right through.
Ingrid looked back at Malori, who seemed just as surprised as she was. Clearly, there was much more to Malori’s shock. A small smile crept across Ingrid’s face as she wondered if her friend was going to try to do things like that as well from now on. The heaviest thing–and only thing, she realized–she had seen Malori move with her abilities was changing the trajectory of Alviss’s knife by a few degrees. She shuddered as she remembered how close that knife had come to piercing her throat. It was likely best for her mental state if she tried to not think about that at the moment.
The interior of the castle was similarly colored to the outside, but filled with torches and sculptures of different beasts that Ingrid had read about carved into the stone along the walls. One was a feline creature almost the size of a bear, with long, sharp teeth like an old orc’s tusks. Another looked like a massive centipede, only with eyes the size of Ingrid’s head, and two sets of claws at the front of its body. Each was of a different beast native to mountainous regions, perfectly carved into the dark stone that the rest of the castle was made from. She shuddered as she thought of having to face some of them had they come this way on foot. That relief quickly died as she remembered that they would likely need to go further in order to find Mattias.
Centered in the hallway were purple rugs rimmed with black, jagged designs of mountains stretching along each corridor and veering off every direction beyond. Alice gave a satisfied smirk as she pointed at the rugs. “See? Best color. Can’t change my mind.”
“I prefer green,” Ingrid sighed, grateful for at least a little bit of levity. Her mind raced as they were led down the main, wide hallway past more guards and statues. The Amalthean King wasn’t exactly well known as a figure in Cordelia, so she only had cursory knowledge of the woman. Supposedly, she believed in strength above all else, shunning the weak and leaving them for the wolves. One of the reasons for the tension between their countries was due to her warmongering and constant itching for a fight. Some rumors even said that she accepted frequent duels to the death to test her strength, with no regard for the crown or her responsibilities. The more she thought about the woman, the more nervous she became. If it was found out that they were Cordelians, it would surely end in disaster.
As they approached another set of doors, the guards nearby quickly moved to open them. This time, Colette made no move to use her magic, instead simply standing politely and waiting until the guards ushered her inside. Ingrid looked around at the grand hall before them, the walls lined with unique sets of armor, each with a symbol of a mountain shaped to look like a blade emblazoned on their chest. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, illuminating the massive stained glass window in the back of the room with the same design as the crest on the armor. Under that window was a pitch black stone throne, with a tall, muscular, black haired woman sitting upon it, her cold brown eyes appraising each and every one of them. Her pale skin and the white furs padding her plate armor seemed almost as white as the snow outside against the throne, making it hard to realize for a moment that she was in fact human. Her cheek rested on her fist, the fingers of her other hand tapping absentmindedly on the arm of her throne.
Uncomfortable didn’t even begin to cover how Ingrid felt. When the woman’s steely gaze fell upon her, she felt her blood run cold. It was hard to keep her composure as the King appraised each and every one of them. Normally such a thing would radiate confidence or paranoia, but the only emotion the King showed was cold indifference, like she was the opposite end of whatever spectrum Kallen was on. As if she wasn’t intimidating enough, leaning haphazardly against her throne was a greatsword that looked longer than Alice was tall.
Ingrid would have expected advisors, nobles, or even guards to be present at a reception such as this, but there was only a single other person in the grand hall. A half orc boy with olive green skin, short, swept back black hair, and small yet sharp looking tusks jutting out from his bottom lip. He wore a polite smile that oozed the kind of social confidence that Ingrid wished she had. He was muscular, but less so like Natalia or the King, who seemed built for brute force. He seemed more lean, like a sprinter or Alice. While the King’s eyes were cold and ruthless, his were thoughtful, yet calculating.
Colette approached the throne. As she did, her three remaining guards lowered themselves to one knee. Ingrid nervously followed suit, then Malori and Alice. She tried to whisper to Kallen and Natalia to bow as well, but neither seemed to hear her. If the King really would look for a fight wherever she could find one, disrespect would more than warrant it. Her heart sank as Colette opened her mouth to speak.
“You’re looking well, your Highness. I’m glad to see monotony hasn’t ruined your health,” she mused.
The woman rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. I swear those meetings are my own personal hell,” she growled, “Now, I see you’ve finished your errand. Are you going to introduce me to the newcomers?”
Nodding, Colette gestured to the group. “Of course. While not truly an angel, this is Natalia, an illian. These are Kallen, Ingrid, Alice, and Malori.”
The King raised an eyebrow, looking at Malori. “The illian and dark elf were expected and known, but an esper certainly comes as a surprise. Colette, did you ever know of this one prior to this meeting?”
“I did not, your Highness. Admittedly, meeting another esper is quite rare. It was more than a pleasant surprise.”
“I see,” she murmured, continuing to scan the group. Straightening out and pushing herself from the chair, she rose to her full height before them. She was the tallest human Ingrid had ever seen. Honestly, from a distance she could have mistaken her for a half giant. Picking up the greatsword and placing it on her back, she descended the steps and approached them, the half orc boy following close behind. “That aside, introductions go two ways,” she said in a deep, commanding voice. Natalia didn’t flinch as Colette moved aside and the King stood directly in front of her, almost a full head taller.
“I am King Gertrud Vilulf, and this is my son, Prince Ivar,” she boomed, gesturing to the boy behind her as he gave a small, polite bow. “Welcome to my court, newcomers.”