“So… what do we do with it?” Ingrid asked.
Alice could feel her heart racing. Honestly, she was surprised it wasn’t loud enough for everyone to hear it and stare at her. Today was filled with far too much excitement for her. How lucky was she that she got to have three life-shattering prospects hung over her so far! It was unfortunate that only two of them were the same. Maybe if she got all three she’d get a prize. With any luck, that prize would be someone to throw her off a cliff. She glanced at the bloody, beaten-up human trying to warm up her frostbitten arm.
Hopefully someone else would throw her off the cliff.
Employing some of the breathing techniques she’d learned, she forcefully slowed her own heart. She was yet to say anything on the matter, and coming across as knowing too much was worse than a death sentence.
“Honestly, we’re all exhausted beyond belief. Not to mention badly injured,” Natalia sighed, picking chunks of ice and rock from her wings. Occasionally, she’d wince as she removed one that had been embedded in the flesh, but it never slowed her. It was admirable. “Ingrid, you’re literally swaying. We need rest. Even I need to sleep.”
It took everything in Alice’s power to keep herself from shouting ‘no’ at the suggestion. She glanced at the totem, pulsating with magic. Just being near it was giving her a headache, and looking at it made everything in her vision start to gradually feel fuzzy. Not enough to actually impair her, but more than enough to be noticeable and irritating. The magic was something she recognized. Kind of. It was a similar formula to something she’d dealt with before, but there were additions. Altered effects and ranges that didn’t match up, like it had been combined with three other devices and all of them upgraded. She wouldn’t be able to tell what exactly it could do without what would likely be hours of careful disassembly. With Ingrid present? She could live with not knowing the specifics. If there was even a chance of it being what she thought it was, they needed it gone. Especially before they even considered the prospect of sleep.
“I don’t think there’s much to say about it,” Alice said casually, managing to sound infinitely more confident and relaxed than she was. “We tried to contact Shortie and Colette, it didn’t work. Maybe they tried the same thing. Would definitely explain why we haven’t heard a damn thing.”
Respite from those two was definitely appreciated, but there were much better ways to achieve that. It wasn’t a hard angle to work though. Ingrid would likely back her up, especially while this tired.
“This is probably causing that. Ingrid said some weird hallucination–”
“Presence,” her lover corrected.
Alice felt the urge to snap, but buried it. Not at Ingrid. “Some weird presence guided you guys to it? I don't know what the deal with that is, but this thing might be the actual cause of the Dark Zone. Smash it to bits and be done with it. Don’t wanna spend any longer with that thing than I have to.”
The other three looked around at each other. Natalia and Kallen did so for an uncomfortably long time. They’d been exchanging looks like that since Ingrid woke up. It was driving Alice crazy. She had saved their lives and made a single request. If they were making plans to deny that, things were going to go very poorly for them.
Already she was regretting her decision. If it was her and Natalia as the main fighters, she would’ve been more amicable to the idea. Kallen was just about at the bottom of her list for people she wanted to actually know about her magic. Thankfully, the human was either too stupid or too distracted to ask about any of the specifics. Probably a mix of both. Natalia likely would have if it weren’t a situation of mutually assured destruction. She might have been more caring than she had been initially, but in her talks with her at night, the illian had made it clear that her plans hadn’t changed in the slightest. She was trustworthy, in her own roundabout and messed up way. Kallen wasn’t.
Hoping to pull them out of whatever silent conversation they were having, she got to do her least favorite thing in recent memory. “Kallen, can you destroy that? Then we can all get some rest.”
“What if we need it for later? It might be important, like a key or something.”
A key to what fucking door? she screamed mentally. Of course she was pushing back. She never listened to a damn thing unless it was in the middle of a fight. “I don’t follow the logic. I don’t want to think about this too hard. Please just break it so we can all sleep?”
“Isn’t that more of a reason that we should sleep before deciding what to do?” Kallen suggested, furrowing her brow.
“If this is preventing us from checking in with the esper duo? No, that's a shitty idea. We crush it, let them know we’re fine but injured, then go the fuck to sleep,” despite her language, she was doing her best to seem agreeable. In terms that the human would understand at least. Kallen looked like she was about to open her mouth and say something before Ingrid held up a hand. Alice felt her heart clench. If Ingrid was about to admonish her, she thought she’d actually scream.
“I think Alice is right,” Ingrid said groggily. “I don’t know how to explain it but… the magic coming from it, it feels wrong.”
So it wasn’t just her that felt it. Ingrid and Natalia had been lugging that thing around for how long? It was in the bag, so hopefully it hadn’t had any actual effects on them. Regardless of whether or not it had done anything to either of them, she couldn’t do anything to mask the sigh of relief she let out.
Her lover gave her a curious look, then continued. “Natalia had mentioned she couldn’t feel it, despite using magic. Kallen, do you feel anything?”
“Well, no.”
“Alice?”
“Nope,” she lied.
Ingrid nodded. “I think… it does something to affect magic users. Whatever it does, I believe it interacts most with those from outside sources, like mine. Natalia’s magic is inherently a part of her, like an extra arm, or extra–”
“Or wings?” the illian flapped lightly to prove her point.
“Yes, like wings,” Ingrid took the interruption in stride. “It can’t affect a connection when she’s not connecting to anything but herself. Does that make sense?”
It did. There was so much energy radiating off of the totem that it was messing with everyone’s connection to the source of their magic. It shouldn’t have been able to do that, but they’d just fought a dragon so whittled down by enchantment magic it might as well have been feral. She wasn’t about to discount any possibilities. The lack of noticing from Ingrid concerned her. Wasn’t she supposed to be a reading nut? Ice dragons tended to seem bestial and wild, but they were known to have an underlying intelligence, one that reminded their prey of their status as apex predators. At least, they were supposed to. It was difficult, but it was leagues easier than Alice had initially expected to convince it of the ‘realness’ of the illusions.
Now wasn’t the time to think about that. She allowed herself a moment to enjoy the fact that Ingrid agreed with her. It would make it that much easier to deal with Kallen.
“Call me crazy, but leavin’ around something fuckin’ with Princess’s magic doesn’t sound super appealing. She’s the only one with the ability to heal, and we kinda need that,” she added. It wouldn’t have specifically messed with her magic, but healing took focus. It was significantly harder to focus with a headache. She spread her arms in a shrug. “That’s more for you two than me. I barely got touched, I’m just exhausted.”
“The lovebirds have a point,” Natalia said plainly. The illian had kept quiet so far. Yet another thing Alice liked about her. She waited to listen to as much as she could before making a decision. Maybe that’s why she minded it the least when she disagreed with her. It always came from an informed opinion. “There are plenty of reasons to get rid of it. Continuing to leave Malori and Colette in the dark when they’ve potentially been trying to contact us is also a bad idea. We’re meant to check in once every hour, and it’s been a few of those at this point.”
Kallen’s cheek sunk inwards as she chewed on it. Eventually, she sighed and removed her glaive from her back. With a series of quick slashes, the totem fell to neatly cut pieces, including the strange box it rested on.
Relief was almost immediate. Alice couldn’t keep herself from letting out a small gasp as the pressure on her mind suddenly released. Given the way Ingrid was holding her head, she probably hadn’t noticed. Alice once again forced her heart to slow itself. They waited another minute for Ingrid to pull her hand away from her head, blinking quickly like she had just woken up.
“I hadn’t realized how bothersome that was,” she said, surprised. “I suppose I’d gotten used to it after a bit.”
You have no idea, Alice thought. She held up a hand. “We should try and connect with Shortie and Colette. Let me do the talking, ‘cause there’s gonna be questions.”
Natalia raised an eyebrow. It might have been towards someone, but honestly it was hard to tell. Of all the things she thought she’d prefer a person to have, pupils were not something that had come to mind before meeting the woman. There were no objections though as she squeezed the beacon that the Archmage had given to her.
The functionality was strange. So far, Ingrid had been the one to actually initiate the conversations. Something about it being similar to reaching out to communicate with plants and animals. It was natural for her. Everything about it felt clumsy, clumsier than when she’d learned magic. It was like she was stumbling around a long corridor, dozens of doorways extending outwards. She didn’t know which to try to open. Was she supposed to open one? No one had mentioned anything about that. The damned nepo baby of an Archmage sure as hell hadn’t. Just when she thought she was going to ask Ingrid to initiate it, a voice startled her.
H-H-Hello? Malori said frantically. Ingrid? Kallen? Natalia? Are you there?
She didn’t mention Alice. That wasn’t too much of a surprise. It didn’t phase her in the least. ‘Sup Shortie. Miss us?
There was a surprisingly long pause.
A-Are you all alright? You’ve been gone for so long, I was w-worried something had happened. We couldn’t c-contact you either, she whimpered, confirming the totem theory.
Alice furrowed her brow. Malori never really sounded like she was all there over the links. There was always a tiredness or anxiety to her voice. Even when she had sounded happy those few times, it was still there. Right now? She sounded downright exhausted, like if she kept talking she was going to pass out from the strain.
Could ask you the same question. Y’sound like one of the wyverns landed on you. You good?
Another pause.
…It’s been a v-very long day, she murmured. C-Colette, do you think you can do the talking now? I just want to r-rest…
Of course, dear, the Archmage said gently.
Alice blinked. That was very gentle. The hell was that?
Malori is tired from overexerting herself. She requested that I be the one to do most of the talking, but her concern for you all managed to supersede her exhaustion.
Alice snorted. Overexerted herself doin’ what. She climb too many stairs? Whole two stories or somethin’?
There was another pause. This one had a distinct air of irritation that hadn’t been present before.
I don’t find that funny, if that was your intent.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
I think it’s funny, don’t care what yo–
She cut herself off, noticing the glare Ingrid was giving her. She gulped as Ingrid mouthed ‘be polite’ to her. She sighed.
Right. Anyway, we needed to check in. Kinda important.
I see. What happened? The irritation in Colette’s voice vanished just as quickly as it appeared, replaced with a firm, yet polite voice that radiated professionalism.
Well, we killed a goddamn dragon. Woulda been nice to– she cut herself off, doing the mental equivalent of clearing her throat. Nevermind. Found a weird magic totem thing that gave Princess a headache, broke it, now we can chat with you again. I think that covers everything.
No response. There was only a drawn out silence that made Alice shift awkwardly. Were they wrong about the totem blocking communication? Had they just gotten lucky? She hadn’t felt the link be cut or anything.
When Colette spoke again, she sounded baffled. You… killed a dragon?
That sure is what I said.
A-A-Are any of you injured? Malori leapt in. Was it an old one? Y-Young? We did end up finding information, b-but we weren’t able to contact you–
Alright, let’s slow down a bit there Shortie, Alice sighed. The rapid fire questions were annoying, but now wasn’t the time to actually deal with that. Too tired. Weren’t you supposed to be exhausted? Take a nap. We’re gonna be doin’ that pretty soon. Natalia’s pretty fucked up, don’t think she’s gonna be flyin’ anytime soon without some proper healing. Kallen is the usual level of fucked up, actin’ like nothin’s wrong. Ingrid got bodied, and I’m pretty unscathed. Tired though.
There was another silence before Malori spoke again. I-I’m glad everyone is alive… she murmured.
Are the four of you in a position where you can stay put for a little while? It could be beneficial to all of you to take an extended rest. Especially if you’re injured. Colette suggested. I have to say, congratulations. Slaying a dragon is an impressive feat, and it seems you’ve dealt with the Dark Zone as well. The mountain is coming back into focus on the map. Well done.
Thanks I guess, Alice couldn’t shake the feeling that the Archmage’s words were hollow. There wasn’t any feeling behind them, formalities and nothing more. She rolled her eyes. Did that woman have any tone other than professional and pissed off? What she wouldn’t give to be able to knock her down a peg. If we’re stayin’ here, mind if the detailed report comes in the morning? Like I said, we’re all fuckin’ wiped, and Princess has to rest up to do anything about our injuries. Didn’t tell you, but she’s got some healing magic. Before you get pissed about not telling you, you never asked.
I see. I suppose there isn’t much I can do at this point in time to address that, but having someone with the ability to heal you is certainly important, she conceded. Get your rest, I would like the details once you’ve rested though.
Yeah, sure, whatever, she sighed. At least she could put off thinking about this. Later you two.
Her entire body relaxed as she felt the link be cut. It was strange not hearing a goodbye from Colette, but she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. The less she heard out of her mouth the better. Telepathy wasn’t really a mouth, but the principle stood. She began making her way over to Ingrid before she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.
“What?” she scowled back at Kallen. They’d enjoyed enough alone time for one day. Or week. Or ever.
“We should probably go grab the wyverns and bring them in so nothing happens, right?” she said with that same neutral, stupid smile she always had. There wasn’t a thought behind those eyes.
“Fine, I’ll go get them,” she rolled her eyes, brushing past the human.
“I was thinking we go get them together.”
Alice stopped. She furrowed her brow as she looked over Kallen, looking for any indication that this was some shitty prank or bad joke. “Yeah no I’d rather not,” she huffed, pulling fully away from her. “Someone grab her? She’s covered in blood and a bunch is hers. Make ‘er rest or some shit.”
“Why?” Natalia asked simply. “She’s hurt, but in fighting shape if anything gets ugly. Besides, she’s the only other one the wyverns listen to. Unless you’d prefer Ingrid go out there in the state that she’s in?”
The dark elf looked at her compatriot, appalled. Wasn’t she supposed to have her back? Now she was sending her out with the braindead human? She turned to Ingrid in hopes of some support. There was none to be found. Her love was already fast asleep, snoring gently as her head rested on the unopened bedroll. As wonderful a sight as that was, it made her heart sink. Not that she wanted to admit it, but Natalia was right. It made things that much shittier. She could either deal with Kallen for a little longer, or wake up the love of her life from rest that she desperately needed. She groaned.
“Let’s just be fuckin’ quick about it.”
It felt… wrong, doing this. Kallen didn’t have the greatest understanding of most emotions, but even she knew when something was manipulative. Granted, that was exactly why Natalia told her to do it. Trying to take a straightforward approach with Alice had gotten absolutely nowhere, and would likely continue to go nowhere unless she forced something to happen. From the room they’d fought the dragon in, they were able to easily retrace steps and find an exit. The time it took them to get there was nice at least. It gave her time to think of what the hell she was actually going to say.
Traveling back through the tunnels gave her a new appreciation for how utterly confusing they’d been the first time. Alice seemed to know what she was doing, and even then it had taken them what was potentially hours. Heading back to the entrance now that they’d been even somewhat familiarized took only a little over thirty minutes. The glare of the sun forced her to squint and cover her eyes for a moment while they adjusted. It didn’t seem to bother Alice at all, despite all the times she’d complained about sunlight being hard for her to see in.
“We can just go until they’re in earshot, then you whistle for them. They listen to that, right?” Alice grumbled, testing the ice with her crampons.
Kallen watched closely, realizing that the ice was finally behaving like actual ice. She took a few experimental steps of her own. Sure enough, there was no need to put extra force and care into every step. Aside from the normal amount at least, ice wasn’t exactly soft. Regardless, it was nice to not feel like she had to imagine breaking something to make sure she didn’t fall and kill herself.
“Hey, can I ask you about something?” it wasn’t a great start. It probably wasn’t even a good one. She wasn’t entirely sure how else to broach a topic though.
Alice stared at her, unamused. “No.”
There wasn’t any room for argument as Alice turned around and began trekking down the mountain. Kallen sighed. Natalia told her she needed to be assertive, demand things, otherwise she wouldn’t listen. The neutral approach didn’t work, Alice hated the diplomatic one, and she didn’t hold any sort of respect for her. Reaching out, she grabbed the back of Alice’s coat, feeling bad as she did so.
“The fuck? Let go, asshat!” she shouted as she was removed from the ground. There was a look of shocked indignation on her face as she glared back at Kallen.
“I’m going to phrase it differently this time. I’m going to ask you some things,” she said simply.
“Oh go fuck yourself,” she spat, crossing her arms.
“You’re not going to answer them?”
“No! You grabbed me outta nowhere, why the fuck would I play all nice and answer your dumbass questions? I want to get this over with and you’re just making it take longer!”
Kallen frowned. This wasn’t really working either, but at least the woman was talking. Somewhat. “I could always just tell Ingrid about the knife thing.”
Alice’s face went cold. She stopped struggling, not saying a word. The silence was so much worse than any of the insults the dark elf had thrown at her. She glared daggers at her, searching every inch of her face for a sign she was lying. Despite all the times she saw the woman angry, seeing this cold, calculating mask was infinitely more unnerving. Maybe pissing off a trained assassin wasn’t the brightest idea. Too late to go back now.
“You know, for your sake? I really fuckin’ hope you know what you’re doing. Makes it a whole lot easier to deal with,” Alice all but whispered.
“Why are you so adamant about this? I just don’t get it,” she ignored the threat. “What did I do that made you decide that you hated me so much? You haven’t even tried to talk about it or fix things.”
“You sound like my dad,” she scoffed. “Not your business.”
“It’s directed towards me, and I think you're planning to kill me now. I’m pretty sure that’s my business,” Kallen shrugged. “I’ll try a different one. Why did you know about the tunnels? You seemed familiar with the concept. That’s pretty simple, right?”
“The fact you didn’t just goes to show how little we have in common. Thought you said you grew up around here?”
It was meant to be a jab, but it didn’t do much. Kallen just tilted her head. Why would growing up close to Reach mean she knew about this stuff? Unless…
“You did too, didn’t you,” it was a statement more than it was a question. Things were starting to line up. Alice’s knowledge of the country, her utter disdain for it, they could have been played off as simply being knowledgeable. Alice wasn’t one to get angry over cursory knowledge. The only things that ever truly pissed her off to the degree that she and Colette did were things she was personally tied to, or she took personally. It was the only bit of her emotions she actually understood because of just how obvious it was.
She could tell she hit the mark when Alice’s face turned from calculating to panicked. All it was was a brief flash, then back to cold, but it was unmistakable.
“There’s no point in lying. I’m Amalthean, I don’t see why it’s an issue.”
Alice laughed. It wasn’t joyful, or even close to it. It sounded like grim anticipation. “Oh well isn’t that just fuckin’ wonderful. The moronic human accepts me! I’m so happy I could just cry!” she mocked. “This isn’t about you. It hasn’t been, not even once. That divine gift of an elf in there? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know shit about any of this. I want to fucking keep it that way. Why can’t you just let me have that?”
Somehow, she managed to sound even angrier. There was a hint of desperation in her tone as well. Her eyes flicked about. Kallen was familiar with that look, the look of cornered prey. Alice certainly wasn’t prey, but she was definitely backed into a corner.
“I guess, I just don’t understand why. She loves you. Anyone can see how she swoons at you whenever you’re in her line of sight. Why not just tell her?”
Alice’s face was a mixture of confusion and disgust. “Oh my gods you are stupid,” she chuckled wryly. “I’m not telling her because she loves me, dipshit. I want to keep it that way. You think she isn’t gonna see me in a different light if she finds out? Finds out how much of a monster I actually am, all the things I’ve done, people I’ve killed? There are families in the ground because someone handed me money and gave me an address. Ingrid is…”
Her body started to sag. The fight was leaving her eyes, replaced with some flavor of sadness that Kallen couldn’t quite place.
“She helps people. She wants to help her brother, she wants to be a good person. I… I don’t want to make her choose between me and her morals. I just–”
“Because you’re afraid she won’t pick you,” Kallen spoke the words before she thought them. She was very familiar with the emotion that flashed on Alice’s face, though seeing it on Alice never stopped feeling strange. Terror.
“Fuck. You,” Alice spat. “Don’t pretend you know a damn thing about me. Don’t pretend you understand a damn thing about me!”
“Then help me understand, maybe?” it was a legitimate offer, but it only seemed to piss the dark elf off even more. “We can’t keep doing this. If one of us doesn’t give, then it’s going to get the others killed. It’s going to get Ingrid killed. I’ve tried, but I don’t think anything short of me permanently leaving is going to please you. In all honesty, even if that was something I could actually do right now, I still wouldn’t. I like being around Ingrid and Natalia. I kind of want to keep being there. Ingrid has been pretty clear that she wants me around. Same with Natalia.”
Neither of them looked at each other. Kallen stared off into the distance while Alice glared daggers at the ground. Sighing, she continued.
“I wish there was another option, but there doesn’t seem to be. I’m sorry.”
Alice placed a shaking hand on Kallen’s arm. “Kallen. Please, can you let me down?” she asked in a quiet, almost defeated voice. “I just–not now. Not right now.”
She held the dark elf for another moment before lowering her to the ground. Alice stood there for a few seconds before heading back into the mountain.
“Can you just get the wyverns? You don’t need me for that. I should’ve realized it. I can’t be around people right now.”
“Can I try to hel–”
“No,” she said firmly. It wasn’t necessarily a pointed answer, but she still frowned and turned away. “You’ve done enough to ‘help’ me already. No, I can’t be around anyone right now. Not you, not Natalia, not–” she stopped herself. Her shoulders sagged ever so slightly. “Not even Ingrid. Don’t look for me.”
Kallen watched the woman’s back as she disappeared into the system of tunnels. She knew of a few times where she’d seen a similar reaction in people. It was never directed towards her though. In those situations, it was rare that the person was ever seen again. Whether they’d simply walked away or worse, they were gone with the wind. Alice didn’t seem like the kind of person to do that. Even if she wasn’t the easiest to get along with, or the most forthright, there were still things Kallen could trust. Her devotion to Ingrid was one of them. She’d be back. It would be a cold day in hell before she abandoned Ingrid in any way.
She frowned. Why had that thought even come to mind earlier? Judging by the reaction, it had clearly been on the mark. Was Alice really that terrified of Ingrid starting to hate her? When she thought back on everything, it lined up. It recontextualized the way the dark elf hid things and changed her demeanor on a dime as soon as Ingrid was involved. She was trying to be the person that Ingrid fell in love with. As far as Alice was concerned, that was an entirely different person than who she truly was. Kallen doubted anything she could say would be able to budge that fundamental belief. Especially given the way she improvised most conversations like this. So much of that had been spur of the moment comments that surprised even her. Did it seem that way to Alice? Did that make things better or worse? That was a question that applied to either outcome. She had no idea.
When Kallen had first joined this group, she had interacted with everyone, got to know them a little bit. Out of the three original members, and even including Natalia after she joined, she had always thought that Malori was the most scared person she’d ever met. Everything she did radiated an aura of paranoia and fear, like each action was sure to backfire horribly no matter how mundane. It seemed exhausting. How was someone supposed to function when working off the assumption that everything and everyone was plotting ways to make their life miserable? In Malori’s case, it seemed like the answer was ‘she didn’t’ most of the time.
That belief had grown less and less accurate over time. Malori was a scared and anxious person. Everything about her made that abundantly clear. She kept confronting her fear though. Even when she was terrified, she didn’t let it control her. She’d take another step forward.
Kallen looked back into the tunnel Alice disappeared into. She blinked.
Facing fears regardless of what happens… she thought to herself.
She turned back to the path and began making her way down the mountain. She didn’t need to go nearly all the way. Alice was right, she could just whistle once the wyverns were in earshot and they’d rush to meet her. Then it was just a matter of flying around until she found the hole in the mountain they’d fought the dragon in. As she was left with nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company, it felt like she was finally beginning to understand. Her father told her that unhappy people would often hate others for having something they didn’t. It made sense why Alice hated Malori so much.