Bob looked at the map and then tried to stay awake as the negotiator kept talking. Bob felt his eyes almost close and he decided enough was enough he had skinned people alive for less than making him spend a hole half a hour listening to a speech about nothing. “As you see by the freehold laws.”
Bob looked up “Ok so you want me not to keep allowing my men to come in and protect the local lords?”
Watching Gavin the negotiator face twitch cheered Bob up. Bob sighed “That is thirty minutes of my life I will not get back. I do not care that about four hundred years ago a legal precedent was set. People are in need and I am helping them.”
The ever helpful Sara began to speak “Yes your all being so mean to Bob. Its not his fault the undead attacked all those lords and ladies. He is willing to give back the land he took he just has be certain the undead will not come back.”
Gavin looked at Bob who was trying to stay awake. “Him he is the most evil and brutal man ever to walk this earth.”
“Your all so mean to tell stories about Bob. How can you lie about Bob. He is a saint and the lies you tell about him sending the undead to kill the nobles and then sending the paladins to clear them out is a slanderous lie. I do not know of a harsh enough punishment that the lier's who say Bob men are looting and killing every Taxman they can. What about the lies that Bob is looting the dead.”
Sara glared at Gavin as bob began to nap “You better take back those lies about Bob. You know they claim he had all the cemeteries looted for corpses and turned into skeletons. How could you allow such lier's walk free and spew their filth. ” Gavin turned red “Bob is slaughtering nobles they found several dozen buried in the ground and left to the rats and crows. He slaughtered nobles in every area he has taken over is he sleeping?” Gavin looked at Bob who shook himself awake. A vein on Gavin's head began to throb “The king will hear of this.”
Bob looked up “Hello Sara why do you not leave us I want to talk to Gavin alone and close the door behind you.” Gavin face turned red with rage “We have the Goodgoblin working with us. He has thousands of warriors and with his help if you do not stop we will attack your lands from two sides.” Bob nodded “How is Yobo?” Bob smirked as Gavin face began to pale. “Wait were you giving him gold and goods in exchange for a defence treaty? Your telling me I had to spend days days sitting here listening to you trying to work out where your confidence was coming from and you were relying on Yobo?” Sara nodded “yes Yobo is such a nice goblin he even offered to pay to educate young goblins ”
Bob looked at Sara “Please why do you not head down and ” Gavin fell to the floor on his knees “Please you have to help me he is going to torture me to death once you leave the room That gold was not to educate the goblins it was gold so Bob would not kill them”
Bob smiled and grabbing Gavin before talking to Sara “I fear he has gone insane lets knock him out and get a doctor.” Gavin tried to speak but Bob gave him a small pat on the belly that almost fractured his bones. Bob gasped “Oh no I forgot I am strong. Sara go get a doctor now. ”
Sara rushed out and Bob pulled a small bottle from his pocket and whispered into Gavin ear. “Two hours you had me listening to your garbage. Two hours of my time wasted trying to work out if the merchants you work for actually had a plan for stopping me. Why did you not just give me their offer with their threats? It would have saved me my two hours and you would only have been buried alive with your head sticking out of the ground. Now I am going to have you buried in pigs waste and ants put on your head.”
Bob poured the small vial down Gavin throat and sighed “You know Gavin its almost a shame that Sara is so good in bed. Well for you it is a shame because I might have just killed you if she was not around. Now your going into the ground and I am going to ”
Bob stopped talking and just stood thinking about it. “Might as well poison you I mean all those stories about the hero escaping with fate helping them. They are corny but I know they happened and if you happened to survive I would be in trouble”
Bob grinned “You see what your bosses might not know is that while I do not like to read I have no problem gossiping. Before I was born Gary the Gravelord a evil dread lord killed a messenger of the temple of light in a gruesome manner. He had his men force her down and had his way with her in front of them all. Then he horribly tortured the other messenger your second cousin before blaspheming and doing unspeakable things to the dead messenger body.”
Bob winked at Gavin “The thing is that Gary the Graveyard evil lord and heretic was gay. The very idea he would touch a female messenger. Lets just say he had more chance of deciding to cut it off. By the way I hired one of his ex lovers to be your bodyguard. I am going to poison you and drop you in the worst place I can imagine. The ditch which is used as a toilet. When whoever it is who is suppose to rescue you will run into Tim and a few of my men. Honestly I was just thinking of beheading you all this plotting is exhausting. But two whole hours you made me listen to you waffle on for two hours.” Bob left Gavin alone and calling a guard headed back to check his reports.
Rabbit rushed in a new pink dress. “The teacher is being so mean she wants me to know all my letters.”
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Bob nodded “It is hard to learn to read . But if you do not you have seen me trick people with contracts. Do you want to be sold into slavery again because you can not read the fine print of a contract? Besides alchemy and potion making require you to at least be able to read common. Those elves put most of their knowledge in books written in high elfish it is very hard to read. But I have a high level ancient elfish reading skill”
Rabbit nodded looking at Bob suspiciously “You just had a man ordered to be tortured to death for making you listen to a two hour speech. You expect me to believe you had the patience to learn high elfish?”
“I would love to make a bet with about my skill level. But who said I learned it the normal way? I got it as a skill from my alchemist sub class.”
Rabbit looked depressed “Your such a cheater.”
“You try killing a dragon and cutting its still breathing heart out so you can use it as a ingredient in a potion. Then you can talk to me about cheaters. Now I have a map here I would like you to take a look at. I will put models in all the places there are troops. ”
Bob quickly pulled out a couple of chess sets and began to put white pieces on his land and black outside on the area owned by the others. Rabbit looked at the map “Why do you have so many more troops then the king. Surely he has more men under his command? Why are you so worried if you have more and better troops than the king”
“I am worried because I got demands from the king. My military is much stronger than the King's at the moment. My troops are at least 2 points stronger then the King's and that alters things. I could head into the human lands and slap the king to death before seizing his crown and no one could stop me.
Am I too kind? Do they think I will not head over there and burn them all too death. When they are so weak why are they out here making demands? I am worried about falling into a trap and making a mistake.”
Rabbit looked at the map “The human lands have a lot more men then you do why is your army so powerful? Your strong but your not that strong.”
Pulling out a piece of paper Bob began to write.
Before Bob
Farmer level 5
Strength 3-4
Endurance 4-5
Intelligence 1
hp points 70 - 150
Mana 0
Combat skills
non
After Bob
Farmer level 5
Strength 6-8
Endurance 5
Intelligence 1
hp points 90 -225
Mana 0
Combat skills active
archery lv 1
shield wall lv 2
Bob smirked “In order to use a longbow you need a strength of at least 6 or 7. That means my troops will have a long bow and theirs will have a short bow and prayers that my men decide to let them in firing range. Take a look at the difference”
Longbow range 120
1 effects armour piercing
Shortbow range 70 - 80
weakness wear against armour
Rabbit did and Bob smirked “See you do need to learn to read longbow range 120 shortbow range 70 to 80. Of course the shortbow real range is about 40. That is because the arrows are smaller. One of my generals gave a massive speech about it. Rather than listen I decided to just go down to the practice range with a couple of friends and watch them shoot for a couple of hours. ”
Rabbit looked up “So your entire plan is based on you going down and watching a couple of farmers fire a few arrows?” “I AM BOB and Bob knows how to kill. When I went up against the goblins before I got my main class I just stood at range and killed them. My bow had the range theirs did not. Try using my bow some day. I bet you can not even lift it up.”
Bob grinned “You trained with the goblin bow right? Have you seen the longbow? Can you imagine trying to run towards me armed with a longbow you armed with a shortbow while I shoot at you all you can do is hope I miss.”
A pale Rabbit nodded “But how does having a few archers help when the enemy outnumbers you a thousand to one?”
Bob sighed. “Hate the farmers hate the taxmen. Even in the rare area's where the local lords do their job's they still hate the taxmen. All I talked about when I was a dirt farmer was ways to get rich. So when I took over the area I sent out gifts to the freeholders. They do not like me much jealously can twist men's minds but they hate the king and his nobles. Anyway my men will stand and fight theirs will slit the nobles who push them forwards throats
”
Bob chuckled “It is too bad they are all like me because I would love to set off and string the king up by his balls. The reason I did not is simple the farmers would riot when they won and kill every noble merchant and soldier on the other side. Then they would loot everything and leave a pile of ashes where the cities once stood. No I have the military strength to finish off the king its just the cost would be too high. What I want you to do is look at the map and tell me where you think a attack would come from.”
Rabbit looked at the map “What about the elves?”
“Those girls blouses they are all weak. I mean sure most of them have a decent archery skill but their physical strength is lacking besides they are too far away. Except for the few Pegasus riders and griffin riders they have it would take them a week to get down here. But I suppose you are right I might as well make sure they are not planing on ambushing me. I will bring my forces right to the border of the kings land and then pull back and attack the orcs. That way my troops can level up and I can test for whatever is giving the king coincidence enough to send idiots to annoy me.”
Bob starred at the map “The truth is I have to move soon the human merchants are beginning to get their act together. They are starting massive farms to lower the the cost of food and factories to produce furniture and clothing for half nothing. They will soon be in a position to under cut the farmers small industry which is a problem. As while I have some gold to prop them up I do not have a lot. A farmer sub class of brewer or weaver will not be able to stand up against a pure class.
All that is holding me back is I do not want to make a mistake. It was so much easier when all I had to do is pick up rocks and use them to squash goblins heads. ”
Bob sighed “I am missing something I just know it. I have a decent army that wants loot. The king has a bunch of peasant farmers who would love to slit his throat. So why am I still getting demands? Its not like I will not kill him and piss on his corpse given half a chance.”