Rabbit being a small little 12 or 13 year old girl who had been beaten all her life was usually grim and depressed. Not that she looked it she had family she did not what to know how bad things were. But things were looking up in front of Rabbit a mount of bodies most of them cut in half were piled up and Bob was happily looting them. He pointed out at one of the knights “Look at that rich arseholes he did not have the knights class but he still wore armour. If he had bought 20 suits of basic armour and armed soldiers with half decent classes it might have taken me a few minutes to gut them all which would have given him time to run away. ”
Pulling a half of the knight up with one hand Bob looted a purse from the knight with the other. “You know the goblins at least had a few archers and most owned a sling and knew how to use it. Not that it did them any good or would have done these morons any good. Use a threat detection skill idiots.” Rabbit blinked as Bob tossed the now naked body of the knight into a pile of other naked corpses and then looked around before looking like he was going to undo his pants. Bob sighed “Ok Rabbit if you ever need to go to the toilet in a battle field you have a couple of choices just go and clean up later, Its not ideal. Battles can last hours or in some cases it might take days to chase retreating goblins. The goblins will know if you reach them they are dead so will not stop so neither can you. What you want to do is go before the fight and then take something that will stop you going for a while.”
Rabbit looked at Bob who sighed “Ok fine lets go to a restaurant and I will use their toilet while you eat. But we need to make it quick.” Rabbit nodded “You were not actually going to do number one on them were you?” “Of course I was its sends a clear message this is a brute that will stop at nothing.” Rabbit blinked and Bob looked thoughtful “You know since I took over from that ass Dunston I have been less feared. It must be a hidden status number. Rabbit do me a favour if I suddenly begin to frighten you let me know. So is there a fancy restaurant nearby I for once have a lot of gold and want to try out one of those fancy meals.”
Rabbit shook “I am a slave they will not serve me.” “They will or I will remove there feet and stuff them into their mouths while they are still alive. Or you know mostly alive most people die of blood loss when you cut off their feet. ” “Your so funny Bob” “Ok so what is the fanciest restaurant around here? I mean the kind of place you go to and have to sell your house to afford a glass of water. So far things have been going well but that can all change in a heart beat. So we might as well spend a fortune on a meal just in case its our last.”
Rabbit grabbed the huge bag of silver and copper coins Bob had given her and began to walk towards the rich part of town turning to Bob she called out “The rich part of town is that way so tell me a story on the way Bob.”
“How about I tell you about the first time I meet Yobo the goblin merchant prince. My sister needed a healing potion for her teeth and I needed one for my toenail. So I decided to do a little smuggling. Now the thing you have to realise is that to a goblin a goat is like a horse to us. Even a shack like the one I had well its still a shack but a regular human house is a mansion to a goblin. Which is to say goblins tend to be poorer than humans. So I was afraid the goblin was going to have one of his friends shoot me with a crossbow when I had finished the delivery.
Also this was my first time doing something illegal like that. I was dreading the local town guard were going to use some kind of skill detect crime or something like that and I would have to kill them. If you kill a town guard you sometimes get a title. Some people with a identify skill can see the title so it can be hard to enter cities. Plus while being a beer smuggler gets you a knowing wink form the townspeople killing a town guards gets you a axe to the head from the local lord. I did have Dunston thrown in prison so I guess if you kill everyone who tries to arrest you do not have to worry about laws.
Anyway luckily for me Yobo was always more than fair in his dealings with me its why I did not kill him later. On a dark night I was waiting hidden under a tree with a sling hidden next to me when I saw a few wolves go by. Being up a tree I decided to kill them. I was up a tree and had a sling with a bunch of rocks. Now I could not wind up the sling but I had a 5 in strength and a lot of rocks. My first shot was awful and I almost fell out of the tree. The wolves stopped running and were looking around when I got myself ready and managed to shot another rock. My second shot almost took one of the wolves eyes out but it moved its head just in time. So their I was the wolves rushing at the tree I was up dropping the rocks in my haste. I must have dropped 4 maybe 5 rocks and then the wolves were at the bottom of the tree jumping at me.
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Have you ever tried to shot a sling downwards. It is not easy here I was dropping all my rocks trying not to fall and the wolves were trying to claw their way up the tree. So finally as one jumps onto the tree I grab my jacket put the rocks into one of the pockets and hit the wolf in the head. The wolf falls to the ground and breaks one of its legs. I get my sling ready and manage to hit one of the other wolves in the ear. So 2 of the wolves run off leaving there injured pack mate behind. I stay up the tree and shoot it a couple more times. After it stops screaming I hit it with 3 more stones take a look around for any of its buddies and climb down before tossing it into some bushes and climbing up the tree again.
Now here I am with a bunch of wolves that might be looking to avenge their buddy. I am safe being up a tree but when Yobo gets here what do I do? Hopefully I have driven off the wolves but if they come back and I leave the tree I am in trouble. I have a dead wolf I can skin and eat hidden in the bushes which I want to keep. But mostly I do not want Yobo to know about the wolves. I am planning on smuggling for at least 5 maybe 6 years too build up a nest egg and buy some decent land. Renting well I did not like having a bunch of tax men telling me I owe half my crop to Lord Dumb ass. So I make up my mind I will have Yobo unload the beer nearby and I will hide it in the tree. Not knowing about the wolves Yobo will assume I am putting it in the tree to hide it and we can set this as a location Yobo can leave the beer from hear on out. Once Yobo leaves I could carry the dead wolf off come back with a crossbow kill the other wolves and take the beer.
There was only one flaw with my plans it turns out Lord Dumb Ass taxed beer rather harshly. Yobo arrived with five barrels of whisky not five large bottles. It turns out the tax and bribes the local guards were taking was so much that you could buy a barrel of whiskey off Yobo for the same price as a glass of whiskey in the local inn. Of course I was not going to mention that I had been told it was 5 bottles of whiskey that had been paid for.
I got off the tree and escorted Yobo to my house. With the amount of coin the barrels were worth I was not going to let a few stray mutts get in my way. Besides Yobo had goats in the front of his wagon. If the wolves showed up in force I could cut one of the goats and leave it and Yobo for the wolves. Then it was a case of getting 10 large bottles pouring some whiskey into them and telling the inn keeper Yobo gave us 2 for the price of 1 because he could not count. I told Yobo the inn keeper made a mistake in payment and thought he was only getting 2 bottles so Yobo would be getting almost double the coin per barrel from here on out. Yobo was happy thinking the stupid bartender did not know what he doing and he was cheating him. The bartender was happy thinking he was cheating Yobo. Well maybe not cheating more like getting the better end of the deal.”
Rabbit looked up at Bob. “You cheated them both?” “I suppose but lets be honest they were both making quite a lot of silver so they were happy. I was happy and I made sure none had any problems. The wolves and families of bears that lived near the road Yobo took were cleared out by me with a bow I actually bought. Can you believe it I actually bought a bow rather than spend a couple of weeks carving one. I was strong even for a farmer and with a heavy duty bow the bears and wolves stood no chance. I even gave the barkeeper some free meat.
Now all stories should have a moral here are mine. If I had checked the place I was to meet Yobo the day before I could have killed the wolves and kept all of there pelts. If I had been smarter I could have dug a hiding place near my farm to hide the booze. This would have made it harder for Otto he was a guard to find me. Things worked out well with Otto he was corrupt and afraid I would slit his throat if he crossed me so he did not charge me much in the way of bribes. Being fair I was thinking about doing just that just to take back the silver he took from me.
The main lesson you need to know is this specialisation. When the local lord Dumb Ass lost the right to tax beer and whiskey I was put out of business when the first load of professional brewed beer and whiskey arrived. That is all it took one delivery. Yobo had a apprentice alchemist brew his beer the big merchant guild had a master brewer who had grain and hops farmers growing his crops. Then the merchant guild had professional drivers with the scout class and actual warriors to come and talk to anyone who thought they should not be stealing business from a dishonest farmer. ”
Rabbit looked up “Tell me a good story about princesses that story was bad.” “How about the story of princess Rabbit and her talented and fair lord Bob marriage.” “That is not a story besides who would marry you? Your covered in blood ” “Well when your older say 17 or 18 I think you will be marrying me. I am a lord sort of I am rich and you do not have a lot of prospects. I can buy you a flying pony wait scratch that I will steal you a standard pony if you agree to think about it. I will of course let you rent a house for me until your 18 birthday and pay for any training you might need until you are of marriable age. But once you are of that age you either marry me or start paying rent.”
Rabbit looked at Bob who shrugged “Kid your about the only female who has not looked at me and run for it in a long while. On the plus side I will make sure you and your brother will be safe. On the negative your the only female that has not run screaming from me in a long time. I will be around with a bunch of flowers on your eighteen birthday.”