Barney was a old man who looked like he was ready to fall dead. He was bald except for a few hairs desperately clinging to his head. Barney had no teeth and his arms were thin looking like they were about to fall off. Barney chucked at the people starring at him from the other side of the table. Ron his fellow grandmaster was wearing a shiny silver armour. Besides him was Flow dressed in a elegant dress that looked like it should be on a ballroom dancer. Next to them was Ivan dressed in a well tailor black mages robe.
Ron began to curse “What do you think you are doing a full third of the paladins have quit this will not stand” Barney chuckled louder this time “Sorry to see anyone with actual combat skills go Ron. Well you know what to do hire knights to help you out. Your going to need at least a couple of dozen which will cut into those outreach programmes of yours” Ron face turned red “How dare you betray your oaths” “Betrayal what betrayal I am retiring as I allowed. I am over 120 years old and I do not have long if I am going to buy anything with my life it will be a better future for humanity not a few years of paladins pretending to be doctors” Ron face turned redder “We are helping people”
Barney's eyes blazed “I will not talk about this again. I am going to drag my tired bones to war one more time you think I would do that just for gold. I am too old broken and am sick of begging for scraps to do anything for you. We paladins are warriors not doctors not politicians. I have spent my life fighting for my people and now that I am on my death bed you want me to stick around and what? Be your muscle for a few more years. Do you want to boil my bones after I am dead ass well? No if I am to die it will be for a good cause not to earn you a few gold coins for selling my body to a knackers yard”
Flow called out “Barney you have served for almost 105 years as a paladin what skill option will be given to Bob that you would die for him?” Barney glared at Flow “A stupid and short sighted paladin a corrupt priestess and a slaver mage ask me about that. You will get no answers from me now unless you have another offer I will leave.” Ivan pulled himself out of his chair “You have stolen thousands of gold coins from us with your threats of violence against our families if we do not give you our stock. How dare you talk back to us when you unleashed that maniac Bob on us”
Barney glared at Ivan who ignored him “Stock is that what you call it I call it a ten year old boy's being dragged from there mothers and sold you slaver scum. If I could I would shut down all the slavery markets except one where you and your families could be sold” Barney pulled back and spat on the floor. “Now I have to head off and try and claw a advantage for my race. Pray that I do not survive because if I do survive I will gut you all and hang you from your entrails from a post while you are alive.”
Barney stormed off an Ron looked at Flow and Ivan “You see what I had to deal with. He is impossible he has no sense of decorum.” Flow got up “Well I am off. There is nothing left for me to talk about here. Ron given recent events my family and all the other nobles will be reducing the amounts we give to charity. I would expect the amount to be reduced to. You know what we are cutting all funding to your little charities and hiring mercenaries until we can train in our own troops”
Ron blanched turning pale “We do so much good work and help the poor.” “Your in here with a corrupt noble and a slaver trying to convince a old man to go back to work so you can steal sorry receive backhanders from the nobles for keeping the poor in there place. Well you no longer have any military force and the poor are about to have a new hero Bob. So your hold over them is gone. Ivan just a passing idea leave Bob alone. I have a report on his skills which suggest he should be a lot more lethal in a fight than he is showing.”
Ivan looked like he wanted to faint “Wait what he literally cut dozens of our men in half with one blow. Is immune to most magic's and arrows bounce off his skin. That is what you call weak? I had to bury a dozen of the slaver guards yesterday in bags because he cut them up too badly to tell whose leg was whose do not tell me he is hiding his strength.” “Bob only gets 5 mystic hunter skills. It turns out all of the first 4 are passive. No idea why he took 4 passive skills because at least one of them should have been a active. ”
Ivan turned to Flow the blood draining from his face. “Breeding the breeding skill. Dragons can have the minion breeding skill. Their minions can possibly gain a passive dragon skill if they take a drop of the dragons blood at birth. It allows them to breed sorcerer followers changing goblins tribes into shaman goblin tribes. Or orc's into stone orc's or strong orc's he could start a monster wave.”
“Your a moron” Flow's voice was cold “Barney has spent his life killing goblins you think he is going to start breeding them now. No he is going to breed humans or at least use his trait to give as many as he can a advantage when they are being born. I mean surely even Barney would not do that right? Bob has a mystic level class its a tenth of one percent to gain a permanent skill he has. But then he has 4 and his natural skills. Ivan how bad is this going to get?”
“1.6 percent chance of gaining a hereditary skill.” Ivan began to puke and Flow began to mop her sweating head. Ron looked up in surprise “What is the big deal that is less than one in fifty.” Ivan looked up “You idiot never speak to me again. Flow can we go to the cults to kill Bob?” “Cults non of them will touch this with a ten foot pole. Even those maniacs the fire branded who set themselves on fire before running at the enemy will be insane enough to try to kill Bob now. If Bob has a actual chance of breeding a new variant human they are going to flock to him to help them breed AN AVATAR.”
Ivan eyes flashed “He does not have the skill yet. We still have time.” Flow shook her head “We do not have anything. Like I said I have no reason to be here any more. Bob a killing machine and Barney is worse he is a old man with nothing to lose. I am not risking my neck dealing with either of them. Come along Ron ” Ron shook his head “I should at least hear what Ivan has to say. Perhaps” Ivan laughed “Get out of here you maggot. You have no troops I am interested in hiring.”
Bob looked at Rabbit who was starring at the wagon which had a massive pile of ears. Rabbit shuddered “Why are there goblin ears in there Bob?” Bob grinned “Well some quests are only finished when you turn in the ears. When I was still level 1 I decided I would hold off claiming the reward for the goblin ears until I was level 4 that way I could instantly go to level 5.” Bob shook his head “It was a good idea but due to a lot of factors turning in the 38,712 ears I collected will not even get me a tenth of the way for my sub class to get to level 5 mystic hunter.”
Rabbits eyes bulged “You killed close to 40000 goblins how?” “Its called farming for a reason. If you leave the main goblin horde alone they will expel the weaker young goblins at a steady rate. The weaker types of goblin breed very fast. If you put down a few traps you can get five or six a day per burrow. I set the traps and had a couple of the town boys collect my ears. I had 20 burrows say 5 goblins from each burrow 100 goblins a day. 36500 a year. The only problem is I very little experience from them. Honestly I probable got more experience finishing off the 20 burrows before I set out than I will for the full 36500. The thing is each of ears is worth about the cost of a meal and I have 36500 of them. ”
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“If it is so easy why do you only have 36500 Bob?” “Budget I am about to take most of the remaining 46000 small beast budget for the year. Also its the paladins job to stop people doing things like this. Honestly I would not have bothered if I could not claim the experience for the 5 or 6 thousand goblin I slaughtered without cutting off their ears. I am claiming 15000 dead standard goblins.” Bob looked at Rabbits confused face. “Basically I am using those ears to claim the experience for the stronger goblins I killed. I am told by my advisor it will work.”
Bob sighed “When your running around crushing goblins and poisoning their drinking water you do not tend to have time to cut off their ears. Plus poison takes time to kill goblins and when you poison their well and then set fire to their village some will run away. Especially when you run up the goblin tribe wall and demolish it with one swing of your home made mace before slapping a few dozen goblins to death because cleaning a mace is time consuming. Then there is the slime problem if you say leave a bunch of slimes on the retreat path of the goblins. The slimes eat the bodies and your in a rush to kill the remaining goblins for experience so there is no time to cut off the goblin ears. Then there were the plagues and time I sealed a few caves full of goblins ” Rabbit starred at bob “You do not hate goblins how could you do something so awful you sealed them alive in a cave.”
Bob smiled wearily “I wanted to live. To live I need levels and sealing those goblins in with those toxic slimes might have been horrible but it got the job done. Toxic slimes are herbivores.” Seeing Rabbit did not know what a herbivore was Bob sighed “They do not eat meat Rabbit nodded “So when do we get my brother?” “The nobles have their troops out. I noticed them when we were finished eating. It is not a good thing for us Impale Im High must have gone to them and now I am guessing the slavers have bribed them. The nobles control the city guard so even I have to be careful.”
Bob grinned “Still technically slavery is illegal. It gives me a lot of wiggle room. No one expects The Bloody Butcher Bob the vicious insane killer to actual sue them. Now I can not be certain of protecting your brother while attacking the slavers quarter. So we need to be smart about this. We have my lawyers and we have Barney. The slavers will want my head but they do not have the military might to overcome me and Barney. They will have tried to rope in the nobles. They have a number of nobles in their pockets and quite a few of the nobles run slavery operations. But for all of that the town guard technically answer to the king. Not that I even know what the king's name is. ”
Rabbit looked at Bob “We have a king?” “Yes apparently not that he has got a copper coin from anyone I know. I think its a skill thing the king can knight people opening various classes for them. There must also be bonuses you get from his or her class. I bet Barney knows he is the old guy we are about to meet. Do not let the lack of teeth fool you he has skills. Professional cavalry skills the kind used in large scale wars.”
A man wearing red silk approached them and snorted “I am Percy the ninth. Defender of the Marsh lands and lord of Marshkeep and Greengas Manor. Sheriff of the Marsh Road and defender of the Abbey of Greengas.” Bob pulled out a mace and looked up. “Well Percy I am Bob and this is a mace so get out of the way or I will use this mace on your head and you can be the headless lord.” As Percy turned red from rage Bob turned to Rabbit “Look around this idiot would not have come alone. I bet its a trap he comes up I slap him to death and a bunch of knights pop up. I need the area checked.”
Bob looked at Percy “You know a keep that is a fort but a Manor well that is quite defenceless. So if say a bunch of bandits lead by a elite maniac like me came around well we would clean out the whole manner in under a hour. I have to tell you the truth done things like this mostly to goblins. But their were a couple of defenceless manors well I might have nailed some people to trees. Or I nailed everyone who was still alive after the mercenaries were done with them. You know I bet your one of those lords who does not bother to cut down the trees near his Keep. I heard that Ironstronghold fell over something like that. Someone sneaked in and nailed the doors and windows shut before setting fire to the keep. Lord Kraken and his entire family died horribly. I am just glad your keep has the full 300 foot clearance around it. I am also glad that Lord Kraken was such a ruthless evil miser. I mean if that had happened to a nice person like you well. Lets discuss my protection fee shall we?”
Percy starred at Bob “I am a lord you peasant low life. Your not worthy to polish my boots” “Maybe I am the most evil warlord to ever live. But why does it matter? Barney agreed to side with me and is taking most of his combat ready troops with him. Since the paladins are the ones that protect the human farm lands well its not looking good for you.” Percy glared at Bob. “That old toothless man. Ron assured me personally when I was having breakfast with him that the goblins will not be raiding.” Bob smiled “Perhaps you should ask why they stopped raiding. Or perhaps you should ask who killed every goblin anywhere near here. RABBIT DO YOU SEE ANYONE?” “NO WE ARE ALL CLEAR”
Looking at the grinning Bob Percy swallowed “Perhaps we should I mean I will report your oafish behaviour to the city guard” Percy tried to turn his horse but Bob jumped off his cart and pulling Percy off his horse slapped him on the head. Percy passed out and Bob whistled as he tied Percy to his horse and tied his new horse to the back of his cart. “Lets go Rabbit I got you a horse if you want it.”
Rabbit rushed up and began to examine Percy's horse while Bob brought the cart to the city guard hut. The Hut was a small one in the market with only a couple of people in wooden stocks in front of the hut. Bob jumped off and banged on the hut door. A fat and thin guard came out and looked at Bob with destain in their eyes until they saw Percy. Bob smiled “My name is Bob And I am here to turn in a Goblin Orc and vermin extermination requests. Lets start with the goblins say 15000 of the ears were from the goblins in the local. Then we can move onto the Orc ears they are coming and finally we can deal with this tail from a pest.” Bob pulled a massive tail tip from a bag.
The fat guard George spoke out “Wait was the rat that came from 20 feet tall? That looks like it was from a alligator. ” Bob grinned “Just take the first 15000 goblin ears they are marked off. I want all this done as one transaction.” George nodded “My name's George this is Larry Its usual to buy me and Larry a mug of beer. Only fair because after all if you register all 15000 ears at the same time the price will not drop until after your receipt goes in. Why not claim all of the ears at once?” bob shook his head “I need the experience. I am claiming the ears as the wild goblins I killed.” George laughed “So what you directly or indirectly killed 15000 wild goblins? Who are you THE BOB GOBLIN SLAUGHTER?”
Bob smiled and George suddenly saluted “Sir yes sir we will get these signed off on now.” “HOLD ON” Ivan riding on a horse screamed out. Behind Ivan was a woman wearing a robe whose face was hidden behind a mask. Ivan rushed over and looked at the woman in the mask. “How close is he to his next level?” “He is at 25 percent” Ivan turned to George who was busy signing documents. “I TOLD YOU TO WAIT GEORGE.” “Yes you did but I have no legal reason to do that besides that is BOB the guy stuck a anchor up a dragons ass. I like my job but I like my ass anchor free more.”
Ivan turned back to the woman in the Mask “Well Elizabeth?” Elizabeth pulled off her mask and began to scream at Ivan. “What did I tell you? No names that evil ass hat is Bob the Bob the guy set fire to a orphanage A orphanage due to a dare. He is at 39 percent ” Bob looked at George “5000 more.” George nodded and filled in another receipt before stamping it. Elizabeth turned to Ivan. “He is at 42 percent the remaining ears might gain him a percent. ”
Ivan smiled evilly at Bob. “Looks like your out of luck. If you want you can work for me cleaning my bathroom with your tongue. Without your class cap skill you are worthless. Wait what are you doing?” Bob pulled out strings of bigger ears and grinned “Orc ears 300 all wild.” George passed a form to Larry who filled it in. Elizabeth spoke up “63 percent” Ivan looked at Bob “You better have another set of ears or its licking my toilet bowl clean with your tongue time.”
Bob chuckled “All I have left is this pest tail” Ivan laughed “Well I will leave you with one eye and a ear so you can hear and see people's reaction to you. It was a brave attempt but your finished. Did you seriously think a giant rat was going to give you enough experience too level up. What do you think Elizabeth do I let him keep his balls so he can service my horse or turn him into a eunuch? Why are you turning pale?” “Dragon tail its a dragons tail. He started out killing a dragon he just claimed the bounty experience.”
Bob smile widened “You do not seem to have any bodyguards.” Ivan glanced at Percy who was knocked out on his horse and at George who had grabbed Larry and was running towards his guard hut. Ivan raised his hands and Bob looked at Elizabeth who paled “I had nothing to do with this.” “Yet your here and helping my enemies. Relax I will kill you before I would sell you too a beast like Ivan. Now lets get you both gagged and chained. I am selling Ivan to a local brothel rather than forcing girls to do it he can learn to sit back and stick his ass in the air ”