Flow looked at her Lawyer Clark and the cold look in his face. The jokes about vampires not biting lawyers because they had no blood came back to Flow. Reminding herself that Clark was not one of her family lawyers and could be trusted somewhat she sat back and listened to what Clark had to say.
“First I am keeping your retainer secondly Dunston is not getting a copper coin off Bob. And even if he did his creditors would swoop in and take that copper coin off him. Dunston mortgaged his lands with three separate banks and invested in real estate. His lands in full were valued at 110 magic coins. He borrowed 105 from each of the 3 banks. Leaving him with a debt of 315 plus interest 321.
Now lets start with the valuation of 110 magic gold coins on his original lands . His lands were valued at that because he did not have to worry about goblins. Apparently Bob's passive skill keeps them away. If Bob were to move away his lands would be valued at 75 to 85 magi gold coins. So for land valued at around 80 magic gold coins Dunston took out loans of 321 I believe Dunston invested poorly and the city property he bought at 321 is now worth 195 magic coins.”
Clark pulled out another folder “I have not checked this because if I do and I am right I have to alert the city commander. But I believe that Dunston might have mortgaged the city property as well. Now if and I say if he did this it might explain his lifestyle his gambling and whore bills would be rather substantial. Again I have not checked but if Dunston did take loans on his city property with multiple banks. Even with his lifestyle he would have in the region of 125 to 250 magic gold coins left. Enough to leave the country and buy a lordship elsewhere. Can I ask what you want to do? Should someone inform the banks about the loans then your nephew Dunston will be imprisoned for life. He still has a narrow window to bail himself out of debtors prison and flee the country.”
Flow snorted “Feed that pig to the city magistrate. Now how is this going to effect me am I liable for anything?” “The slavers might not like having the loan they made Dunston defaulted on. Then there is Impale Im High Thomas and of course the humans first group. Then there is the issue of the other loans Dunston made against the city properties. For deniability issues I did not check the register of loans. But I suspect given Impale Im high Thomas and the slavers will be out for blood. The other creditors might also use less than legal methods to try and extract some of their gold back”
Clark stopped talking for a second obviously thinking and then began to speak again “Alright normally in these cases I would suggest throwing Bob to the wolves. However in this case that will not work. They ran a check with a oracle on his current strength. The price on his head would need to be 250 – 350 Gold magic coins for a 15 percent chance of him outright killing the assassin. 50 percent chance he has to fight the assassin for three blows before killing him. 18 – 20 percent chance the assassin managed to deliver one damaging blow. That leaves a 15 to 17 percent chance of him fleeing before the assassin can finish him off. I have the report if you want it”
Seeing Flow nod Clark passed over the report. “They think Bob ate the entire dragon and adsorbed a lot of its natural strength. We know he used its blood to gain the steel skin skill. The rest of the report reads like a demon god status sheet. No one wants to mess with someone that strong. Not that it matters to you but it would be different if Bob was less violent. If Bob were more reasonable the slavers would be able to talk to him and show him the error of his ways. The slavers would tell him either pay up or they would target his sisters. Can you image what he would do to them if they were that foolish? There is a report of him castrating a knight who bumped into him. He killed the knight and 12 of the knights friends cut heir heads off and poised their headless naked corpses in unusual positions because someone bumped into him. What would he do if they actually threatened his sisters?”
Bob looked at the slaver market and got ready to kill. From inside a cage a small girl called out “Please buy us mister they do not feed us much and my brother is starving” Bob nodded “I will come get you after I finish making a statement in the market. ” The local slaver guards looked at him putting on his armour and one of the thin scrawny ones asked “Oh yeah what kind of statement are you going to make?” Bob smiled “Its simple I need to send a message do not mess with me or mine. The best way of doing this is finding someone everyone hates and making a example of them. You find a child beater or someone who stole from a old lady and horribly main them and their family. ”
A demons smile would have been less scary than Bob's “You know a lot of clerics have called me evil for killing my enemies families but I have family of my own, If I need to make a statement to remind people that there is a rabid dog guarding them then that is what I have to do.” the trembling scrawny guard spoke up “Mister listen we do not want any trouble how about I buy you a drink and we can”
“I AM BOB AND BOB SAY'S YOUR ALL GOING TO DIE TODAY” A bellow came from Bob's mouth and pulling one sword for each of his hands Bob beheaded 5 guards. Three heads bounced from the swing of his right hand and 2 from the swing of his left. Bob looked at a guard still alive on his left hand side and smiled “Guess I am going to have to work on that.” Seeming to disappear Bob moved forward killing guards. Humming Bob reached the slave market entrance and grabbing some of the guards heads he had cut off began to toss them into the slave market.
From inside the market the guards began to scream at the customers. “No one move or go near the wards. With them up he can not get at us if you rush out he can destroy the wards. Kill that fat tub of lard trying to sneak past the wards” From inside Bob heard a scream as someone was obviously being hacked to pieces. Bob decided enough was enough and pulled out a couple of vials from his belt and tossed them into the slave market before heading back to talk to the young slave girl in the cage.
Seeing the cages that held the bargain slaves Bob shook his head and began to cut the ropes holding the slaves. As even the slaves cowered from him put him into a bad mood. He approached the little girl in the cage and noticed she did not seem as afraid as the others. The girl nodded at him. “My name is Rabbit what is yours?” “I better not tell you I have a active skill that activates when I say my name anyway I just told everyone my name.”
Rabbit nodded “So are you here to free me and my brother?” “Well it depends I will free you. But if the slavers kill enough of the rich customers I will not be doing anything.” Above the slave market plumes of smoke began to rise. Rabbits eyes began to shone “How did you get so strong Mister”Bob chuckled “My sub classes the first is mystic hunter. It only goes to level 5 but the bonuses are great. I also have a alchemy sub class fairly high level as well. Its the second class that is proving its worth today. A warrior can only barge in and kill a few slavers before being chased away. A alchemist can point out that if someone put a barrel of rage juice in the local water. Or hunger potion nothing like having your wife go insane and bite it off during sex. Then there is hair loss serum or putting worm eggs coated in acid resistant potion into the food. The list goes on and on but bottom line a alchemist especially a senior one like myself can do a lot of damage observe. ”
Bob pulled out a vial and looked at Rabbit “So where is your brother?” “He is at the inn. Our owner is too cheap to put us up in the warehouse so he locks us in the stables” Bob nodded and tossed the vial in his hand into the slave market. He winked at Rabbit “The earlier vials I tossed in were tear gas vials that is a acid cloud vial. It will not do much damage but the effect will hopefully panic the buyers inside. Hear is a tip for you never kill a bunch of noble brats because they have families that will send out their highly trained soldier to deal with you. Get your enemies in this case the slavers to do it for you.”
Bob pulled out a couple of vials of red liquid. “Of course if that does not work you can always use dragon breath explosive vials. Its not ideal even if the slavers kill a lot of the nobles inside they will still blame you because you threw a potion that ignites human flesh at their babies. Of course while killing a few important nobles will get you in trouble it also sends a message. This guy is crazy do not mess with him. Remember strength is almost everything in this world. Having a reputation for insanity can keep you safe. The more they say that guy is crazy the less likely they will mess with you.”
“That guuy is Crazyy he kknockked ouut my teeeeth” Lord Dunston looked at his family members who did not look happy. In particular he did not like the look in his aunt Flow eyes. Flow spoke up “You borrowed money from the slavers the humans first and of course Impale Im High Thomas. You borrowed money from impale im high Thomas a maniac who stuck his brother on a pole and left him to die. It took his brother three days to die three days what do you think he will do to you when you do not pay up? ” Dunston looked stunned “I haave theee goold” “No you do not. Stupid nephew you think Bob wanted to be landed with your debts. Bob let the humans first knights know about your scheme they put in a request for there gold back in first. It looks like they are going to make their gold back and then some. Meanwhile the slavers and Imaple im high Thomas are looking to our family to re pay them.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
The slavers do not matter because Bob being Bob has begun to slaughter them. Apparently he is also a high level alchemist given the huge number of Orcs that have been recently poisoned and the automatic slime creation machine they found in the troll lands. No what we have to worry about is Impale IM High Thomas who wants his gold back all of it.”
Dunston paled as flow looked at the other members of her family. “I caaan Geett the GOOLD” “No offence Dunston but I doubt that but I am going to give you a chance to prove your claim. Your being moved to a new cell with a few new cell mates. The Brick, Harry the stallion and of course the Three Leg The Ass Bandit.” A screaming Dunston was dragged away.
Flow sighed “Alright given Bob is happily slaughtering all the slavers how is that going Harold?” Harold looked up “Surprisingly well you would think the slavers would have a couple of powerhouses on permanent retainer. Maybe they did but no one has tried to stop Bob yet. So far he is attacking the slaver strongholds outside the market. By attacking I mean kicking in doors killing everyone older than ten years old. The human slaves are all being sent to his lands. No idea about the non human. The slavers are still holed in the market with a lot of annoyed nobles. Apparently the slavers will not let the wards go down to leave out the ”
Flow blinked “Wait how is he getting away with that?” “It could be the 20 barrel's of dragon flame he was seen with inside the city walls. He gifted the local town guard a barrel. They brought it out and lit it on fire the explosion could be seen 20 kilometres away. At this moment there are 4 such barrels on a wagon tied to the main gate. The wagon has wards drawn all over it. No one knows where the other 15 barrels are. So Flow any other news of that psychopath? ”
“Yes reports are coming in from several of the orc villages. Apparently Bob not only poisoned them but built some kind of slime farms. The slimes are attacking those weakened by the poison and levelling up. The orcs giant wolves have also had to be put down after several of them attacked their masters. Clark mentioned several flocks of sheep seem to have developed a hunger for flesh and ate there shepherds. Its like the ninth circle of hell in the orc lands at the moment.
Unfortunately this means the humans first are all throwing their support behind Bob. Or farmer Bob as they say now days. He has registered as a noble and gets a second name. Which he choose as The Farmer. Who calls themselves the farmer? I have a rough breakdown of his status here”
Name Bob Surname The Farmer Race ??? (no one human would do all of those things to the goblins)
Strength estimated 17 - 18
Endurance estimated 16 - 17
Intelligence estimated 17 - 20
hp points too many unknowns to guess
Mana minimum 3 times the amount of a mage
Known skills
3 Passive Mystic tier
1 mystic tier unknown function
steel skin level ???
Archery ???
Alchemy master level minimum
Class Lord Level ???
sub class God level hunter level 4 Max 5
sub class legendary alchemist level 10 minimum Max 60 (Best guess only)
Known titles
I am Bob
Effect 1 Passive causes anyone near bob to feel fear
Effect 2 Causes people to think less of Bob
Effect 3 When Bob says I am Bob he can direct a sense of dread at people.
Known uses
Used on a wedding bride and made her and her bridesmaids soil themselves.
Bob constantly uses this on horses as a form of joke if he sees anyone standing behind a horse. However there have been several deaths when the horse has bolted instead of soiling the person behind it.
In combat it should be noted several of Bob's enemies have died of heart attacks due to this title
Oracles regularly use spells to check on Bob's power levels. Unfortunately no one knows the exact extent of his strength however based on the sudden increase in Bob's danger level the last mystic skill he received was a active combat skill.
Bob has been known to fight for 5 to six days never taking a break which suggests high level sleep resistance skills.
Note Bob can and will assault small fortress on his own. He will attempt to weaken the fortresses before hand but if this fails he will physically break down the front gate and rip anyone who stands against him with his bare hands if needed. He has successfully done this on two separate occasions
Main strengths
Any threat Bob makes he will generally actually do. If he says I will come over there rip off your leg and stick it down your throat if you do not move. He will actually try to rip off your leg. If he can not he will cut off your leg and as long as you are still alive try and stick it down your throat. The fact he will follow through in his threats means that many assassins will not try and kill him due to fear of what will happen if they fail
His physical skills are top of the line. In several of his attacks against the goblins he simply ran around with a sling and killed any goblin in his way. When the goblins sent out their own archers to ambush him they found their arrows could not penetrate his steel skin passive skill
Weaknesses
His sisters might be a point of weakness Warning Bob slaughtered a number of knights for apparently nothing. On closed inspection all the knights had a habbit of calling women names and whistling on a street near where his sisters were staying.
Bob has been bluffed several times. He will not walk into a situation where there is a reasonable chance of a ambush that actually stands a chance of killing him . Greyston the Orc used this to bluff Bob on three occasions. Warning Bob ambushed Greyston in his village and killed him and his entire village. Greyston was found nailed to a tree outside his village with Bob was here carved into his chest. Do not Bluff Bob unless you have some way of paying him off.
Flow pulled out several pieces of paper. “On the face of it Bob is a maniac who goes around slaughtering everyone who looks at him the wrong way. But anyone who thinks that is a idiot. He is smart and careful. That would be fine if he was a cowardly bully like in all the villains in the Bards stories. Unfortunately he is not a coward and if you stand up to him and treat him like a bully from the stories he will simply hit you harder. What we need to do is not get between him and what is left of Dunston's gold. Anyone object?”
The door burst in and a terrified man burst in. Impale Im high Thomas eyes were wide and his normally cold face was a mess. He fell to his knees “You have to help me that maniac Bob just cut all my men in half and is coming after me. He cut my knight Justin and his horse in half with a dagger. One swing and Justin and the horse were cut in half. Justin was a heavy knight wearing the best armour and he died to a knife. One swing its not possible I must have imagined things. Its not real right?”
Flow sighed “Well now we know what Bob's active skill does. It must be cut or cleave well something physical. Thomas what did you do to make Bob angry.” “It was my gold that brat Dunston borrowed. He dared steal from me. Then I find out Bob has arranged things so that the humans first group get their gold back all of it and then some. But where is my gold? He was more afraid of the humans first party that me me Impale Im High Thomas. It could not stand I am Impale Im High Thomas and that means something. I crawled out of the gutter on the bodies of my enemies. You can not fear the humans first party more than me. Who are they some stuck up nobles? So when I heard he was just sitting outside the slave market I sent around some of the boys to gut him.
They were all high level trained for years in combat with the best of equipment. He was some farmer armed with a couple of rusty swords. The wimps did not even last a minute I saw a recording he gutted them like fish. One swing one dead knight. They were my best but I overpaid he gutted them so fast the first one he chopped in half did not even realise he was dead before he finished up. I need time to gather men real men they type that can stand up to Bob. Help me and I will give you all of my tannery businesses”
Flow sighed looking at the greed on the faces of the rest of her family“We are weaker at least in the local area than you. Bob will back down if we threaten him. But he is not a vegetarian or one of those forgive and forget type of people. He will back down and then when we are venerable the last thing we will see is his thumbs ripping out our eyeballs. Is that what you want ? ” Timothy one of the branch family members spoke out “We should at least hear him out.” “Timothy you live three days away by coach and are poor. Given you have no troops here and Bob would not take revenge against you due to the fact your poor and live so far away you get to say nothing”
Timothy puffed himself up and Flow glared at him “Sit down or I will rip off your fingernails one at a time you poor weak man child. You need actual troops to speak. I have a few temple paladins we can use. If we put up a show and you do some begging its even possible Bob will not be in a position to rob you of much.” Impale Im High Thomas got off the ground and looked at Flow “What are you talking about?”
“Bob does not like to take risks. He will want to finish off the slavers more than taking your gold. So we offer to help him do that and he agrees you trying to kill him was a mistake. As long as you do not meet him in a dark alley he will forget you are alive”
Impale Im High Thomas looked at flow. “I can hire real men to take care of this upstart”
“He stuck a anchor up a dragons ass because it would not shit on his fields. He killed a dragon because it refused to fertilize his fields who are you going to hire to deal with that kind of brutality. Even the Red Crusher would laugh at you if you offered him your entire fortune. ”