“You can’t, Calli. You’re just gonna get us both killed and that’s not going to solve anything.” Umber eased himself down next to the wall. The red on his chest only grew, sparking her hopelessness.“Promise me something. You’ve got an amazing power, and it shouldn’t be wasted on something that isn’t worth it. Wait until you know what you’re sacrificing yourself for. Make it something you know you won’t regret. I think there’s bigger plans for that ability of yours and it doesn’t involve any of us.”
Ki was smarter than to let his grip loosen for even a moment. He knew just as well as she did that she wouldn’t simply listen to him.
…
It was so hard to compose herself. All her thoughts were running together, blurring to the point she couldn’t tell one thing from another. Minne didn’t really think she could get this distracted just by sitting out in the garden. Or maybe that was exactly why she was getting distracted?
Nothing quite seemed to match up. She’d been the first to hear the news, being Casper’s wife. Then before it sunk in too far, she told Imre and his friends. It wasn’t until after it became common knowledge in the castle did she begin to actually consider what it meant—the impact it would have on their future.
“Queen Minne.” Zarha walked up from behind her, nearly causing her to jump. “I apologize for any interruptions, but your presence is requested by the king.” After a moment, she added, “I doubt it’s anything too serious. He was perfectly well—as well as he can be, at least—when I saw him. I’m sure it’s just a reminder to get some sleep. It is awfully late, after all.”
“Right.” Absently, she gestured the maid off and wandered to where the king was. She didn’t believe for a moment anything she’d been told, a gnawing sense of anxiety building up inside her as she came closer. For a moment, a cruel moment, she considered what would happen if she didn’t show up at all. But then she remembered what he meant to her, and how much he might need her at his side.
Casper made little attempt to figure out who’d just entered the room. Nothing was paler than he was now, nor could anything compare to how weak he’d grown. There was no steady rise and fall of his chest under the blanket; it was already staggered, barely noticeable and at times seeming to disappear completely.
“I thought it might take you longer,” he mumbled. A voice that was once full of vigor was now nothing more than a hoarse whisper. “But I’m glad you got here before Imre did. I’m… not sure he’ll come at all, when he knows I’m the one to ask for him.”
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“Why did you tell Imre to come?” She already knew the answer, even if she didn’t want to admit it. All she was doing was wasting his breath in saying it aloud.
He didn’t give a straightforward answer. “You know, I asked Lucas what it was like to be a spirit. When you’re a spirit, you endure life as another part of someone else… you feel their emotions, understand their innermost thoughts, experience the pains and joys of life. I asked him how he felt when someone he was tied to died. I asked him why he still came to the living world to watch over us when he could be living a perfectly pain-free and happy afterlife. Can you guess what he told me?”
For so long she’d held back her emotions, trying for once in her life to keep them all under check. That didn’t keep her from quickly becoming overwhelmed by them, hardly able to hide the tears. “Oh, Casper…” She held one of his hands in her own, realizing how the warmth was leaving them.
“Don’t act all hopeless,” he told her. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be. Think of it this way: it was going to happen sooner or later. At least it happened now instead of before we met, or when Imre was still only a few months old…”
“I can do something,” she insisted. “I could take on all of this. I could make you better—“
“Yeah, and it’s just going to come back and then we’d both be dead. I’m not asking for us to both die here. Imre still has a lot of room left to grow. The kid’ll join us if he has to deal with losing us so close together.” Casper couldn’t do too much more than meet her gaze. Keeping eye contact was probably beginning to be a struggle. “There’s someone else who’s going to need it a lot more than me.”
…
Her room was right next to the nursery. This allowed her to be the first when one of the children—the now-three-year-old Imre and Dimas had adopted and Minne’s infant grandson—started crying. She didn’t waste any time in getting up and going over there, gently telling the maid that she had it under control.
Natheniel, the older one, wasn’t in there. He was likely in his own room, or at least with someone else. That left Tavin alone, meaning she could do what she wanted without the fear of being interrupted.
“They talk about you.” She carefully picked him up and started rocking him, easing a bit of his troubles. “I think… you’re the one they were talking about. They’re all in agreement. You’re hiding a lot of secrets, aren’t you? You’re putting on a brave face so no one realizes how much you’re suffering… but you’re still hurting. In fact, you’re dying… but I can help you. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for all your pain to go away? Live a normal life, be surrounded by your family…”
She had no doubts in her mind. Using her abilities as an Ilethera, she did what Umber and Casper wouldn’t let her; she took all of his pain and suffering, allowing it to devour her instead.
Minne remained a cool composure throughout what she knew to be her final hours. She laid Tavin—now bearing an almost solemn expression—in the crib and made her way back to her room. The maid that passed her made no mention to her at all, either not seeing anything or that there was nothing to be seen.
She was perfectly content as she fell asleep, a smile etching across her face as her mind slowed to a halt.