“Hmm.” Sera growled at the staff in her palm. “Hmm.” Her eyes narrowed as she poked and prodded it with the tip of her claw, leaving tiny marks on the staff’s wooden surface. She sighed and tossed the staff over her shoulder. “Another failure.”

Vernon’s tail sneaked around to the fallen staff and hooked around it. He dragged it to his front claws and lifted it with one paw. “What’s wrong with this one?”

“It looks weird,” Sera said. Clanking sounds resounded through the cavern as logs of wood fell out of a cabinet. Sera dug around until she found a piece of wood that was a little longer than her palm was wide. She gave it a squeeze and nodded. “This one will be the one.”

“You said that last time, Aunt Sera.”

“And the time before that.”

“And the time before that time.”

“And the time before that time that she’s talking about.”

“And the—“

Sera slammed her tail against the ground. “You know this is why Alora calls you three the annoying trio, right?”

“Yup.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Wait. Because why? I don’t get it.”

Sera sighed and lumbered away with her newfound log. Vernon turned towards the trio of dragons who was staring up at him with wide eyes. One of their heads was tilted. Vernon cleared his throat. “How do I address you individually anyway?”

The dragon in the back puffed his chest out and tilted his chin towards the ceiling. “You can call me Eldest.”

The dragon closest to Vernon raised one paw. “My name is Youngest.”

Vernon nodded and looked at the last dragon, whose head was tilted. “Oh,” she said, righting her head. “I’m Bonnie.”

Vernon blinked. “What’s with those names?”

“Alora named us,” Eldest said. “It’s why we tease her for being fat even though she isn’t.”

“Well,” Vernon said and scratched the back of his head, “she can lose some weight. Just saying.” The three dragons’ eyes widened at him, and he cleared his throat. “I mean, what do you expect when your grandmother feeds her so many snacks every day?”

Eldest tapped on Bonnie’s and Youngest’s shoulders. The three dragons whirled in place and created a circular formation with their heads facing each other. “Does…, does that mean we’re fat too?” Eldest asked in a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Youngest said, his brow furrowed. “Do you think our whole family is fat and we just don’t know it? Really, how many other dragons do we know? We could be obese when compared to normal-sized ones!”

Bonnie’s eyes widened and glistened as a layer of tears pooled within her nictitating membrane. She raised her head and stared at Vernon. “Uncle Vernon, am I fat?”

Vernon coughed and looked towards the wall before turning back towards Bonnie. “You see, ah, size … is a relative thing. Right, a relative concept.” He nodded. “To insects, humans are huge. To us, humans are small, see? When compared to Alora, you’re not fat at all, Youngest.”

“I’m Bonnie,” Bonnie said and sniffled. “What if you don’t compare me to Alora? What about compared to Aunt Sera? Who’s fatter?”

A chill crawled down Vernon’s back. His neck creaked to the side until he made eye contact with Sera, who was staring at him with a blank expression. She smiled, but it didn’t reassure Vernon at all. “Yes, dear,” Sera said, drawing out her term of endearment. “Who’s fatter?”

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Vernon’s gaze swiveled from Sera to the three waiting dragons, their eyes brimming with expectation. Should he tell the truth? Maybe if he wanted to die. Vernon cleared his throat. “As you get older, one day, you’ll understand that your eyes simply don’t work as well as they used to. I’m really not the one you should be asking. How about you ask your father instead? He’s still pretty young, right?”

“Dad’s asleep,” Eldest said. “And Mom would say we aren’t fat no matter how fat we actually are because she’s the one who encourages us to eat along with Grandma.” Youngest and Bonnie nodded. “You’re the only one who can tell us, Uncle Vernon.”

“Yes, Vernon,” Sera said, poking Vernon’s ribs with her tail. “Why don’t you tell them? Just the other day, you were telling me how pretty my scales were. If you can’t make out my size with your eyes, then how could you tell my scales were pretty when they’re so much smaller? Don’t tell me you were just complimenting me without actually thinking.”

The annoying trio bobbed their heads up and down. Vernon met Bonnie’s gaze and let out a sigh. “Alright, Bonnie. You’re fat. Sorry.”

Bonnie gasped and brought her front paw to her mouth.

Vernon nodded. “You too, Eldest and Youngest.”

Tears slid down Bonnie’s cheeks. “…You’re not my favorite uncle anymore.”

“That’s right. How could you be so mean?” Youngest asked. “Couldn’t you have told us a white lie?”

Vernon’s expression darkened.

Sera nudged her mate’s side with her wing. “Heartless,” she said. Her tone was filled with disappointment, but there was a smile plastered on her face that the annoying trio couldn’t see. She hummed as she whittled away at the piece of wood in her paw with the tip of her claw.

Vernon caught a glimpse of Sera’s smile, and his countenance lit up like sunrays breaking through a cloud.

“Wow,” Eldest said. “Look at how happy he is after crushing our feelings.”

Vernon snorted and lumbered over to Sera’s side, ignoring Youngest’s cold gaze and Bonnie’s devastated one. No wonder why Alora called them the annoying trio.

***

Vur hummed as he munched on a piece of meat. Underneath him, a woman wearing black armor was flailing her limbs to no avail. Vur looked down and smacked Mary’s lower back with his hand, causing her to cry out. The nobles in the surroundings had already been shocked to silence, and the smack caused them all to flinch. Sweat rolled down their faces, but none of them stood up to leave.

“Get off of me!” Mary shouted and kicked her legs against the ground. Vur slapped her lower back again and took another bite from his drumstick.

Tafel pursed her lips. “Vur…, you’re embarrassing her.”

Vur snorted. “Maybe she deserves to be embarrassed,” he said as he tossed the remaining bone over his shoulder. It bounced along the ground before rolling to a stop against a chair’s leg. “She attacked me for no reason.”

“How did you get so strong?” Mary asked as she splayed her limbs out. Even trying to push against the ground to raise herself up hadn’t worked. And with her sword out of reach because Vur kicked it away, she couldn’t cut herself to amplify her strength. “Not too long ago, I was stronger than you.”

Vur snorted again. “When was that?” Mary wriggled underneath his butt as he leaned over and picked up another plate, causing Alora to protest and grope the space that her food had been moments ago. “I was always stronger than you.”

“No,” Mary said and shook her head, her red hair brushing against the floor. “Before, we were competing, and you only won because Tafel distracted me.”

Vur didn’t respond as he munched on what he suspected to be some kind of seafood. He swallowed. “Not true. I was always stronger.”

“But you couldn’t sit on me like this!”

“But I could,” Vur said and smacked Mary’s lower back once again when she tried to climb to her knees. With a clank, her torso hit the ground, and her eyes grew wet with tears. “I was just going easy on you back then.”

Mary hit the ground with her gauntlets and pouted. “Let me up,” she said, her voice shaky. “This is no way to treat an empress.”

“Act like an empress and I’ll treat you like one,” Vur said. He put a grape into his mouth and chewed, loud munching sounds resounding through the dining hall.

“You mean you’ll dethrone her and conquer her empire?” Stella asked, popping out of Vur’s chest. “That’s what you tend to do with rulers of any nation.”

“What?” Vur raised an eyebrow. “I only do that to rulers I don’t like.”

“So you’ll do that to her,” Stella said, looking down at Mary’s head. Tears were seeping out of the corners of the empress’s eyes.

Vur rubbed his chin. “Probably.”

“Let me up, let me up, let me up!” Mary wailed and kicked at the floor, creating giant fissures in the marble tile. The nobles turned their heads and met gazes with each other, but none of them dared to open their mouths. “Tafel! Your husband is bullying me!”

Tafel sighed through her nose. She stood up and summoned a portal to catch the food that fell off of her dress. She shook her head as she made her way to the center of the dining hall where Vur was still eating as if nothing was wrong. It was strange. She was married to most likely the strongest person in the world, but sometimes she felt more like a babysitter than a wife.