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Book 2 Chapter 101

Vur stepped inside of a cave, using both his arms to shield his face from the raging wind blowing from within. He had climbed a mountain, traversed narrow roads with tiny bridges leading over massive valleys, and even saved a goat from falling to its death before arriving at one of Zilphy’s favorite spots.

“This is the place,” Diamant said as he took the shape of a blob of brown light in front of Vur.

“Obviously,” Sheryl said from the runes on Vur’s shoulder. “Just look at this place. So windy.”

“Remember, Vur,” Stella said from within Vur’s chest. “Don’t contract with Zilphy! Don’t contract with any wind elemental, got that? They’re too carefree, and they’ll definitely mess up the world I made inside your soul.” After a pause, Stella grunted and muttered, “Well, I can always feed her to the dragon even if you do make a contract with her.”

“Relax,” Vur said and patted his chest. “I know what to do.” He took in a deep breath and lowered his arms while straightening his back. The wind blew past him without affecting him as he walked deeper into the cave. “Is she home?”

“Zilphy, are you here?” Diamant asked, his voice echoing over the roaring of the wind. “It’s Diamant.”

There was no response, causing Vur to frown. He held his palm out, summoning a ball of light above his hand, illuminating the cave. He walked deeper in, following the source of the wind at every fork in the path. After a few minutes of traveling, he arrived at a cavern with a pool of blue liquid in the center. In the pool, a green rock with arms was humming while scrubbing itself with a loofah.

Vur stood at the entrance to the cavern, staring at the rock. Diamant’s brown light took on a shade of pink before retreating back into the runes on Vur’s arm. The runes faded to the point where they weren’t visible. “I never saw this scene,” Diamant whispered. “Understood? I will forever deny seeing this. Even if everyone in the world said I saw it, I will firmly deny it.”

Vur glanced at the faded runes on his arm. Then his gaze went back to the bathing rock. “So you like rocks,” Vur said with a nod. “Makes sense.”

“Who’s there!?” the green rock shouted as it turned around. Its eyes, which were made of pearls, widened as its mouth, the jagged crack beneath its eyes, split open. An ear-piercing scream echoed through the cavern, causing the wind surging around Vur to pick up. Vur dug his legs into the ground and hunched forward to prevent himself from being blown away. “Pervert! Scoundrel! Die a painful death!”

Blades of wind crashed against Vur’s body, but they didn’t even split his skin. He raised an eyebrow, glancing at his stomach where the wind blades had hit him. “My skin became tougher?”

“Probably because of your contract with Deedee,” Sheryl said.

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“Oh,” Vur said with a nod, ignoring the screeching green rock in the pool. “Then what do you give me?”

“More vigor!” Sheryl said, a trace of pride in her voice.

“More vigor?” Vur asked. “Like stamina?”

Sheryl chuckled. “Yes, like stamina,” she said. “It’s especially noticeable in nighttime activities! But you haven’t partaken in any, so you haven’t noticed yet.”

“But I do lots of things at night,” Vur said, furrowing his brow.

Stella coughed, causing Vur’s tattoo to flash purple. “Why are you more innocent than me, Vur? I’m not even three months old yet.”

Vur frowned before shaking his head. “Then what would contracting with a wind elemental give me?”

“Didn’t I tell you not to?” Stella asked. “You don’t even need to know.”

“Your body becomes faster and light,” Sheryl said as she materialized in the air above Vur. She was instantly blown into the cave wall, causing her to yelp.

“Ah! An elementalist!” the green rock in the pool shouted. “You’re here to contract me, aren’t you? Well, I, Zilphy, the greatest wind elemental to ever exist, refuse! Get lost, pervert!”

“I don’t understand how I’m a pervert,” Vur said, his frown deepening. “You’re a rock.”

“Rocks care about their privacy too!” Zilphy said. “That’s why people don’t flip rocks over and look at their undersides.”

“But I can’t see your undersides,” Vur said.

“That doesn’t matter,” Zilphy said. “I’m not wearing clothes!”

“Would you wear clothes outside of the bath?” Sheryl asked as she transformed from a ball of flames to a red rock that could barely withstand the wind in the cave.

“No,” Zilphy said, the winds weakening.

“So why does it matter?” Sheryl asked.

“It’s a matter of principle. Principle! You don’t waltz into someone’s home and watch them bathe.” Zilphy hopped out of the pool and shook herself off before crossing her arms. Her eyes narrowed as she locked onto Vur’s right arm. “Hey. There’s something weird about your arm. Have you come into contact with Diamant recently? And that weird fire elemental smells like Az. No, she’s stronger than Az? It’d make more sense to say Az smells like her.”

Vur patted his arm. “Deedee, come out.”

A sigh emerged from Vur’s arm as Diamant appeared on the ground by Vur’s feet in the shape of a small boulder. “It’s been a while, Zilphy.”

“Diamant!?” Zilphy shouted. “You! Did you see me earlier!?”

“See what?” Diamant asked. “I was asleep.”

“Liar!” Zilphy said, pointing at Diamant with a trembling body. “You’re the one who always says the earth never sleeps! You! You, you…” She raised her arms and clutched her head while tilting her face down before screaming. After a few seconds, her screaming stopped and she raised her face to look Diamant in the eyes. Her voice was as hard as iron. “That’s it. Take responsibility and marry me. Right now.”

“Huh?” Diamant, Sheryl, and Stella asked at the same time.

“No way, you gold digger,” Diamant said. “You’ve always been after the wealth I’ve amassed.”

“Shut up! Do you think a wind elemental cares about wealth?” Zilphy asked, glaring at Diamant.

“Well, a wind elemental certainly wouldn’t care about feelings,” Diamant said, glaring back.

“They’re perfect for each other,” Vur said and blinked. “It’s decided. Get married.” He lifted Diamant up and tossed him towards Zilphy. “I’m one of the founders of Damnedism. My church will officiate your marriage. Hurry up and kiss.”

“That’s a … morbid church to be officiated by,” Zilphy said. She shrank back as Vur glared at her. “But I’ll accept!” She tackled Diamant and planted a kiss on his mouth before he could respond. “There! You’re finally mine, you stupid blockhead.”

Sheryl and Stella stared at the two rocks with blank expressions on their faces. Vur nodded and placed his hands on his hips. “I did a good deed today. Tafel would be proud.”