Prika scratched her head and stared at the empty cave. “Uh. Guys? Hello?” she asked and tilted her head. She popped her head inside the entrance and looked around. “Grimmy? Leila? I don’t want to interrupt you two if you’re doing anything personal, so at least shout out an answer.” She waited for a few seconds before pursing her lips. She snorted and entered the cave, but she didn’t find any trace of the two even after searching through the whole place; however, she did find a few legendary weapons forged thousands of years ago.

Prika grumbled as she entered the valley, leaving Grimmy and Leila’s cave. “Where did everyone go? Vernon’s not here. Sera’s not here. Grimmy and Leila aren’t here. What the heck, guys? That’s not cool.” She had left for a trip to the south for a few days to acquire some lizardmen romance books, but she was beginning to regret going now. The dragons had left their stuff behind, so obviously someone was still here.

Prika sighed and entered the largest mountain within the range. As expected, she found a green dragon humming to himself as he painted on the walls of the cave. “Hey-o, patriarch,” Prika said and waved one arm.

Nova turned his head, staring at Prika with a slightly blue snout where he had rubbed paint on himself. “Oh, you’re back Prika,” he said and nodded. “Find any good books?”

“Yup,” Prika said and sat on her haunches. “Just wondering, but where did everyone go?”

Nova scratched his head, adding red paint to the scales near his ear. “Sera and Vernon went on a honeymoon trip to the western continent. Grimmy and Leila went to the eastern continent to visit her family. Oh, and Vur and his wife went there too, I guess…” He mumbled to himself. “He should’ve made it, right?”

Prika’s head tilted and continued to tilt until her chin was pointing towards the ceiling. “They abandoned me then? Just because I don’t have a mate!?” She sighed as she righted her head and stared at her front claws. “How could they leave me all alone?”

“Aren’t I here?” Nova asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Ew. You’re old,” Prika said and wrinkled her snout. She flinched. “Err. I meant that endearingly. Yeah, endearingly.” Her head bobbed up and down as her legs inched backwards. Nova glared at her. Prika shouted and dashed out of the cave, “I just remembered I had something to do! Catch you later!”

The cave blurred behind her as she launched herself into the air, soaring above the mountain range in a second. Maybe she’d go to Konigreich and bother Lindyss. The little elf was doomed to be hopelessly alone like herself. Maybe they could play chess or something.

Screams greeted her when she arrived at the city of the undead, landing on a suspiciously crushed-looking church roof. Usually, the screams were enough to attract the elfling’s attention; at least, that’s how Grimmy always did it. But this time, it didn’t work. A skeleton came out to greet her instead.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Pyrrhicandra,” the skeleton said and saluted. “I’m sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later.”

Prika stared at the skeleton before poking its skull, knocking it off. “Where is she?”

The skeleton picked its skull back up and reattached it. “She was taken away by Grimmoldesser. You can leave a message if you’d like.”

“So … Lindyss isn’t here. Vur isn’t here. Tafel’s not here.” Prika let out unintelligible murmurs as she scratched her chin. The skeleton shivered as the red dragon’s eyes gleamed. “Then I declare myself Empress of the Pyrrhic Empire!”

“Pardon?” the skeleton asked.

Prika’s tail swished, knocking off the church’s steeple. She counted with her claws. “Konigreich. Konigreich the Second. Whatever Tafel’s territory was called.” She nodded. “I just united the three kingdoms and made my conquered lands into the Pyrrhic Empire. Spread the word. It’s my turn to shine!”

“Uh. Sure,” the skeleton said and scratched his head. “I’ll do that?”

“That’s right,” Prika said and stuck her chest out. “As empress, my first decree is to make Fridays mandatory pink robe day! Those who don’t wear a pink robe will be sentenced to a lifelong service of writing tasteful romance novels.” She nodded. “Oh, and make sure everyone’s educated. I want to read good books, you hear?”

“Understood, Empress,” the skeleton said and saluted. “Do skeletons have to wear pink robes too?”

“Yes.”

***

“Leader!” The first thing the skeleton scout did when it returned to the super-secret spooky skeleton shelter was report to Mr. Skelly. “There’s a serious problem. The red dragon, Prika, has claimed Konigreich, Konigreich the Second, and whatever Tafel’s territory was called for herself. She renamed the lands the Pyrrhic Empire.”

Mr. Skelly tilted his head and clacked his jaws once. “That’s a problem?” he asked. He placed his hand to his head and froze. A few seconds passed before he frowned. “I can’t contact the unholy mistress. Well, it should be fine. Our mistress gets along well with Prika.”

“She declared Fridays as mandatory pink robe day,” the skeleton scout said. “If, if we don’t wear pink, then she’ll enslave us in a lifelong service of writing romantic novels for her.”

Mr. Skelly tilted his head. “But we’re dead…?”

“Then we’ll have to work for her forever!”

Mr. Skelly’s yellow bones turned white. “Damn,” he said. “That truly is a problem. For now, listen to her orders. I’ll take a squad of our most elite troops and chase after the mistress. She must be informed about Prika’s usurpation of power!”

Without having to say anything, hundreds of skeletons assembled around Mr. Skelly. They were wearing the finest armors of the demons’ and humans’ kingdoms that they had acquired during the brief war that happened over a decade ago.

The skeleton scout saluted. “Then I will keep the dragon preoccupied. The only problem is finding enough pink dye to create robes for every person within the three kingdo—no, empire now. Perhaps we should cooperate with the fairies and create illusions for everyone?”

“Mm. Yes, the fairies,” Mr. Skelly said. “I almost forgot about them.” He rubbed his bony hands together. “I just thought of hundreds of new tactics we could employ with illusions.” He sighed. “It’s a shame we have no enemies to experiment on. Perhaps the mistress will need our help where she is.” A cackle escaped from his nonexistent throat. “As long as one’s still living, one can always dream, right?”