“Your Majesty,” a man in a white robe said while lowering his head. He had a silver necklace in the shape of a scale, and there was an extra piece of cloth attached to his robe, trailing behind him like a tail. Ahead of the man, there was a series of steps with a veil at the top, a silhouette of a cross-legged figure sitting behind it. “What is the meaning of this? You’re dissolving the church?”

A voice boomed out from behind the veil, “Who are you to question my actions? Men, throw this man into the dungeons!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!” Out of nowhere, two men dressed in black appeared by the white-robed man’s side and grabbed his arms while kicking his knees from behind, forcing him to the ground.

“Your Majesty!?” the white-robed man shouted. “I’m the pope of the church! You can’t do this to me! Unhand me, you heathens!”

A cracking noise echoed through the throne room, followed by a miserable scream. The pope’s arms dangled from his shoulders while one of the black-garbed men hoisted him up and carried him out of the room. The throne room fell into silence as the massive wooden doors swung shut. Cackling filled the room, sounding like rocks being crushed.

As the two black-garbed men marched through the empty halls of the palace, they looked at each other while ignoring the screaming man. “Is it just me, or has His Majesty become a bit … different?” the one holding the pope asked.

“Don’t say things like that out loud,” the other man said while gesturing towards the pope, “or we’ll end up like him. We swore our lives to the emperor; it is our duty to obey, not question. Even if he orders us to slaughter children and babies, we will carry out his will with the utmost efficiency.”

“No, no,” the pope said through gritted teeth. “Think for yourselves sometimes! Slaughtering innocents because the emperor asked? Don’t you have any morals? Aren’t you afraid of the matriarch’s divine retribution?”

The two black-garbed men looked at each other. One of them grabbed the pope’s knee and squeezed. “You didn’t hear anything,” the man said over the ear-piercing scream that escaped from the pope’s lips. “Understood?”

“I understand!” the pope shouted. “I understand!”

The black-garbed man nodded and released the pope’s leg.

***

“What are you looking so happy about?” Alice asked Mr. Skelly. She frowned at the grinning skeleton who was whistling to himself while tap dancing atop the undead leviathan’s skull.

“Oh, nothing much,” Mr. Skelly said while laughing. “Some of my plans have finally come to fruition. The church of the holy dragons exists no longer.”

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Alice stared at the skeleton with her mouth partially open. “Huh?” she asked and picked her ear with her pinky. “Did you just say the church of the holy dragons no longer exists?”

“No,” Mr. Skelly said. Alice blinked. “I said, ‘the church of the holy dragons exists no longer.’ There’s a slight difference in wording. The devil is in the details; you have to pay attention or you’ll be cheated.”

“But the meanings the same!” Alice said, smacking Mr. Skelly’s skull off. “What the hell are you doing!? What do you mean the church exists no longer? Did your men destroy it? What about the people who rely on it? What happens to them? Have you considered what would happen if you destroyed the church?”

“Oh, you worry too much,” Mr. Skelly said as his skull reappeared above his neck, a trick he had learned after being forced to chase after his skull too many times. “I didn’t destroy the church and its foundation; I merely usurped it. Why would I waste a perfectly good establishment? All the infrastructure is already in place; it’d be a shame if it all disappeared. My church of Damnedism will put everything to good use.”

“Everything’s wrong,” Alice said, holding her forehead up with one palm. “Everything right about the world has become wrong after you came along: There’s a war between the two empires. You’ve provoked the phoenix matriarch by kidnapping literally half the elven population. And now the church, the symbol of hope amongst the people, is being usurped by skeletons!?”

“When you put it that way, my deeds do sound quite bad,” Mr. Skelly said with a nod. “Why don’t you try spinning it in a more positive way?”

“Shut up! There’s no positive way to spin this!” Alice said, punting Mr. Skelly’s skull off again. “And stop regenerating your skull. It makes me angry!”

“Nonsense,” Mr. Skelly said. “Think of all the businesses that are booming now that there’s a war. Blacksmiths and leatherworkers are having the time of their lives. And provoking the phoenix matriarch? Tafel will handle it; she might get an imprint out of it too! As for the holy dragon church? What good do they do? You already told me the holy dragons only visit once every few centuries or so. My church believes in immediate action. Death? Why hope for a dragon to come revive you? Come back to life instantly with no side effects—other than some skin loss.”

Alice buried her face in her hands. “I’m a traitor to the human empire,” she said. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier. No, I saw it earlier, but I wanted to deny it. I threw away the empire, let it be ruined by skeletons, because I wanted companions I could trust. But in the end, Tafel was abducted by phoenixes, and Vur was taken away by a questionable teleportation formation. All I’m left with is you!” She kicked Mr. Skelly off the leviathan skeleton and ground her teeth together.

“Ah?” Mr. Skelly said as he climbed up the massive skeleton. “Didn’t you say you wanted trustworthy companions? What part about me is not trustworthy?”

“Everything!” Alice said and exhaled while closing her eyes.

Mr. Skelly scratched his skull. “I think you should learn to relax a bit,” he said. “Surely it can’t be fun being such a killjoy all the time, can it? Weren’t you also stuck at a wall in your training? I’m willing to bet it’s because of that stubborn attitude of yours. Think of how much fun it’ll be to conquer the continent with me. I promise I won’t betray you.”

“You know what? Fine,” Alice said with a sigh. “I’m already on this tiger, might as well ride it the whole way. It’s a good thing I don’t have any family; I’m sure they’d be very disappointed with me.”

Mr. Skelly blinked. “Do you want me to bring them back to life?”

“That’s impossible,” Alice said. “They’re buried in the frostlands. The holy dragons live there. If you get close…” She shook her head.

Mr. Skelly slapped Alice’s back. “Don’t worry about that. I’m already dead; it doesn’t matter if I die again. I’ll bring your parents back. I swear on my dishonor.”