“Faul!”

The mortician stared blankly as tears ran down his face. A skeleton was hugging him, its face buried in his chest. The mortician’s movements were stiff as he wrapped his arms around the skeleton. “Marta…. Marta, is that really you?”

“It’s really me, Faul,” the skeleton said and raised its head. “I thought, how, no. If this is heaven, I’m glad I’m here.”

“Marta,” Faul said and pursed his lips. “I missed you so much.”

Mr. Skelly grinned at the scene before gesturing at the lich to continue. More and more skeletal hands shot out of the grounds in front of tombstones that lined the cemetery. The lich walked along on the tips of its toes—if it were wearing its usual cloak, its motions would’ve made it seem like the skeleton was floating. It chanted while waving its arms, black mist dispersing from its eyes and mouth before entering the ground.

“What… what kind of magic is this?” Marta asked as she separated herself from Faul. Her mouth fell open as she lowered her head and gazed at her skeletal body. Faul’s face paled as dozens of skeletons emerged from the ground, inspecting their bodies before making strange sounds: some exclaimed, some wailed, others laughed.

Clapping sounds echoed through the air and the skeletons fell silent as they turned to face the source of the noise. Mr. Skelly stood atop a tombstone with a grin plastered on his face. “Greetings, fellow believers,” he said. “Since you’re here, you’ve accepted the call of our lord and resurrector, Lindyss the Corrupted One. I don’t know how much you know about resurrection magic, but what has been done to you today is nothing short of a miracle. Welcome to your second life.”

Silence fell over the cemetery. The skeletons stared at Mr. Skelly without saying a word. A moment passed before one of them asked, “But … what do we do?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Mr. Skelly said in a cheerful voice. He cleared his throat and pulled out a piece of paper. “Now, here’s the rub—you need energy to run. It’s a fact of death. No energy, no movement. Normal not-dead people get their energy by eating, but we’re a little special and lack stomachs. To survive, we need mana, and the cheapest way to get that is via mana crystals.” Mr. Skelly paused and grinned as the skeletons before him murmured. “You’re probably wondering where you’re going to get crystals, aren’t you? Well, I’m not so cruel as to bring you back to life without giving you crystals … for a cost. A cheap minor cost in the form of tasks. Think of yourselves as adventurers completing commissions to receive gold—there’s no difference. And—”

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The earth trembled. Mr. Skelly frowned and stared at the tombstone beneath his feet. A second later, there was another tremor, then another. The tombstone collapsed backwards as the ground shifted. The earth bulged and sank like the surface of an ocean while rocking from side to side. Screams filled the air as the grinding of rocks echoed through the cemetery. Dozens of buildings in the distance collapsed as their supports broke down, unable to stand up to the earthquake. People cried in the streets, their voices drowned out by the roaring of the earth and the toppling of homes and trees.

“Oh dear,” Mr. Skelly said as he stood up and dusted himself off. The tremors continued, but he seemed unaffected by the motions of the earth. “This isn’t good. Our farm is being destroyed before we’ve even taken it over.” Mr. Skelly clacked his teeth together. “What a cruel act of god. I suppose we’ll have even more believers joining us by the end of today.” He raised his voice and shouted over the din. “Your first task, help the people of the town! Don’t worry about dying; you can’t do that anymore. You’ll also notice that you’ve become a lot stronger—lifting fallen pillars off of people should be easy. It’s a blessing granted to you by our mistress, the Corrupted One.”

The skeletons continued to fall over as the earth continued to tremble, showing no signs of stopping. Mr. Skelly scratched his skull before looking around. Only the lich and the skeleton that masqueraded as Norman were able to stay standing. “Well, we’ll be going first. Bonus mana crystals to the person who helps the most number of people!”

A voice rang out in Mr. Skelly’s head. Leader!

Mr. Skelly frowned and stopped moving. Yes? Didn’t I say to limit our telepathic communications? We don’t have a large enough mana supply to use this freely.

The coast was hit by an earthquake! The captives have sustained a large number of casualties!

What? Aren’t they kept in the water?

Oh. Those were two separate announcements. A large sea creature attacked the captives while they were underwater; the earthquake didn’t do anything. We subdued it and are in the process of converting it into another skeletal beast. I wanted to ask if we should continue leaving the captives in the water or let them onto the land.

Let them onto the beach. We can’t afford to let them get hurt. Also, since we’ve already established communications. Send out as many people as you can afford to help those damaged by the earthquake. Revive those who’ve died and help the injured. The best time to promote a religion is when a tragedy occurs.

Understood.

Mr. Skelly’s body started moving again as he closed the communication channel. The earth had stopped trembling and the other skeletons were picking themselves up. He cleared his throat as he arrived at the exit of the cemetery. “And one last thing. We don’t approve of violence. Anyone participating in violent actions without permission will automatically disintegrate. That being said, it’s time to establish our first real foothold on this continent.”

Mr. Skelly cackled as he left the cemetery, removing all Happy Frogs apparel he had on.