Lain

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Sitting back on my knees, I stare off into the distance in a daze, my senses slowly coming back to me as my mind crawls out of a sweet fog, like I just woke up from a dream. Rising my hand to my lips, I lick the blood off my claws and sigh with pleasure, a shiver running down my spine. I don’t even question where the blood had come from, simply happy as I lick and suck on fingers until they are clean.

Slowly, awareness comes back clearer and clearer as I start to take in my surroundings. Above and all around me is an infinite expanse of night sky. Stars fill the heavens from horizon to horizon, the moon hanging large and bright on the horizon as it works its way towards setting, day soon to come as the Sun is on its way to replace the moon and bring light back to the world.

“What am I doing…?” I start to ask, stopping before I can say, here. I smell blood, hot and fresh. The memory of it on my tongue comes back to me and I am drawn to look down at the source.

My mind freezes as all the blood in my body runs cold, my eyes falling onto something that doesn’t make any sense.

Sky, naked and drenched in blood, her body covered in cuts and wounds as she lays beneath me. I see my own body next, her blood covering my arms and chest and the black robes that loosely dress my body.

All I can do is stare in disbelief as I look down at her, my mind refusing to process what is right in front of me until I finally manage to reach out one shaking arm and touch her.

“Ah… Ah, ah, ah… Sky? No. Nononononononononono… Sky! Ahhh, ah…

Her blood is hot and wet, but her skin is cold, for a brief moment, I fear that she might be dead with how pale her face is, but I can see as her chest slowly raises as she breathes. I can still feel as her Field gently mingles with mine, feeling weak and faded, but still there none the less.

I want to feel relief. The let out a sigh and thank a god that I don’t worship that she is ok, but I can’t. Because she isn’t ok. She is covered in cuts and bruises, blood staining her skin wherever I look.

My body is shaking as tears run down my face, my whole being trembling from the knowledge that I did this to her. Because I did this. Every cut from claws running down her arms, back, and side, every puncture mark from my teeth on her shoulder, and every bruise where I had held her too tightly with my monstrous strength. Every drop of blood. I did this to her.

Part of my mind wants to argue that I wasn’t sane. Even now, the memories of what we had just done is only coming back to me in a fog. Nothing but a mess of starved, carnal, animalistic desire. But I can’t let myself not feel guilty. I can’t just let myself cast aside blame and fault because I wasn’t in control. I swore that I would take responsibility for her. That I would take care of her and keep her safe and happy, and I did this to her!

“Sky…”

With my shaking hand still touching her, I can’t help but to feel disgust at myself. Disgusted that right now, despite everything… That this is the most beautiful she has ever looked to me…

Right now, in this moment, covered in wounds inflicted by my own two hands, she is undeniable the most beautiful creature I have ever seen…

I’m disgusting. I’m a fucking monster. What the hell is wrong with me? I did this to her, and all I can think about is… I need help. This isn’t right! I should have never let this happen! What the FUCK!? Why, why, why couldn’t I just be normal!?!?!

Taking my hand off of her, my palm wet with her blood, I can’t stop myself as I start pulling my hair and hitting myself. I dig my claws into my own flesh and pull, carving lines in my chest and arms, shedding black blood like so many tears, but I can hardly feel any pain. My wounds heal to quickly now, my body and mind far too used to much worse damage. But I don’t stop as I continue to tear into myself, some desperate part of my being maybe hoping that I can fix things by hurting myself. As if that would somehow fix this!

But it can’t. I know it can’t. No amount of self-harm could possibly undo what I did. But I don’t know what to do, so I just continue to hurt myself, continue to try and match wound for wound as my body continue to undo my own work.

“AhhhhhhhhHHhhh!!!” I scream at myself, my mind racing to try and think of what to do, but it can’t get past what I had done. It can’t get past the self-hate that is currently and rightfully tearing me apart as I kneel next to my wounded lover.

Sky shifts slightly in her sleep, maybe due to my screams and crying, but she moves, nonetheless. The slight movement, nothing more than the shifting of her head, knocks me out of it and reminds me what I need to focus on. Sky is wounded and I need to help her. Nothing else matters. I can hate myself after she is taken care of.

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First aid? I don’t have anything to stop the bleeding… No wait, I do.

Using my flames, I carefully burn away just the blood covering our bodies so I can clearly see her wounds. Smothering the part of me that wants to marvel at her like some psychopath, I quickly weave shadows into more of the silk-like material that I am currently dressed in, using it to wrap her wounds tightly and stop any further blood loss.

My hands are shaking as I work, and I have to fight down the urge to just pick her up and fly her down to the hospital. I need to make sure that she won’t get any worse before I move her. I don’t want her to die in my arm!

“It’s going to be ok, Sky. I’ll fix this… I’m so fucking sorry. Just please don’t die on me!”

She stirs slightly, shifting as I work to dress her wounds. This gets me to stop my shaking hands temporarily and look up toward her face, hoping that she might wake up, but she remains sleeping. My attention does, however, end up on her shoulder before I can return to dressing her thighs.

I can see where I had clearly bitten into her, sinking my teeth deep into shoulder and down to the bone.

The holes are smaller than they were…

Despite how frayed and ruined my mind is right now, I can still perfectly picture how she was, some sick part of mind having dedicated that image to memory to keep like it is precious. But I know that they were bigger…

I move closer, hope filling my chest as I look her shoulder over and examine it from up close.

Watching closely, it takes a while, but I definitely see it. The puncher wounds are closing up. The healing is far slower than my own, even slower than when I had first mutated, but her wounds are definitely closing up. Taking a second look over her body, I finally notice that her bleeding has actually stopped as well.

I only let my relief stop me for a moment before I get back to dressing her wounds, working to wrap everything up until she completely covered. Lastly, I make a blanket and push in some fire mana out of reflex to make it warm and comfortable for her. I didn’t even realize that I could do that until after actually doing it, but I did. I’m reminded that I ate the Goblin King’s core. His power is mine now. But right now, that isn’t important.

“It’s going to be ok, Sky. I promise… Let’s get you out of this tree and back to safety. I… I’ll take care of you…”

Picking her up as gently as I can, I move to leave this massive tree and fly back down to the surface but am stopped as those insufferable little twats approach me again. I could feel that their presence was hanging back for a while now and was hoping that they would just leave.

//Are you guys finally done? You two are into some real messed up shit, aren’t you? I really thought that you were going to kill-

“Shut the fuck up!!!” I scream up at Brother. “We’re only in this situation because of you damn Elves!”

//Hey, hey… Uhm, I sorry? I promise, we won’t do it again, ok? Just please, remember why it is that we did this and that we need you to keep-

“I said to shut up! You want me to make more Demons? Fine! I’ll make a whole army of them and take over the fucking world if I have to, but you better fucking pray to your god that we never meet, because if we do, I will turn your lives into a living hell!”

The Brother goes to say something, but the Sister interrupts and seems to pull him away.

//Brother, let’s just leave her alone for now. We can try talking with her some other day after she has calmed down. Let’s go, we have nothing else to do here.

//Hah, you’re right, Sister. Let’s go…

They leave, their presence fading off into the distance until I can no longer feel them. Looking around from on high, I don’t even see the roots of the //World Tree anymore, the massive things having apparently returned to somewhere within the Earth.

It’s only now, looking down at the world, that I can fully see just how much devastation I had wrought on the land. Surround the Base and its great expansions, there is now a massive chasm that stretches out in every direction, as if a massive and deep lake had been drained of all its water, the base now having become an island sitting in its center. Out in the stretches of removed land to the west, the corpse of the mountain-like Kaiju remains there, bleeding out from its pierced skull, its back becoming something of its own island within this drained lake. To the north, stretching from the edge to the base, the severed length of the root of the //World Tree lays there, amber sap pouring from its wounds and flowing into the chasm. Within the chasm itself, I can see a few areas where water is flowing up from exposed freshwater springs and the networks of caves that are now exposed to the surface and slowly filling with water.

I take a step off of the tree, Sky held close in my arms, and the two of us fall back to the surface. I have to take a moment to realize that I now have flesh and blood wings actually growing from my lower back, not needing to create my own with magic anymore, but for now, I don’t really have much in me left to focus on my body’s changes.

Down below, where the world is growing larger and larger the closer we get, people are already out and on the move as the sun is just starting to crest the horizon. The base is in shambles. Homes and shanty towns, where so many refugees were living, couldn’t take the earthquakes caused by the stomping of kaiju and the motions of the //World Tree’s roots. People are already rushing about to go and help others, to save people from beneath collapsed structures and to get them someplace warm before the cold winter can take anymore lives.

Elsewhere, near where the north wall had fallen, I can see some soldiers and my Demons rounding up some groups of Goblins and Hobgoblins that had managed to survive by taking shelter inside of barns or anywhere else they could hide.

One of the few remaining, and largest, of the structure around here is the hospital. It had thankfully survived through the earthquakes, looking mostly unharmed from what I can see as I fall. Spreading my wings to fly, I consider heading that way, but the place is already a hive of motion as people rush about. I seriously doubt that I would be able to get any aid there right now, but also, shamefully, I don’t want anyone to see Sky like this right now…

Turning, I head for the center of base and make for the labs. I’ll find Dr. Doe. She’ll be able to take care of Sky.

Petting Sky’s hair as she sleeps in my arms, I fly us across the base, over all the devastation that I had caused. Because no matter how much I want to blame this all on the Twins, all of this was my fault…