Lieutenant Colonel Roberts

I watch, stunned, as she continues to punch herself in the face, tears running down her face as she quickly backs up along the floor and into a corner. To my absolute shock, she continues to hit herself in the face, screaming at herself to stop, a look of abject terror in her eyes.

It takes but a second to pull myself back together and I move forward to stop her, grabbing at her arms to make her stop hitting herself. “Lain! Lain, stop hitting yourself, damnit! Listen to me, I am ordering you to stop hitting yourself!”

She easily pulls her arms away from me, her strength already being too much for me to physically force her to do anything. She’s hyperventilating now, her chest rapidly rising and falling as her screams come out in broken gasps.

Outside, the soldiers are making a bunch of noise, someone eventually working up the courage to enter the room, but I quickly shout at them to get the hell out without looking back at them. The door slams shut behind me.

She is still hitting herself, but I give up on trying to forcefully make her stop, she’s just too strong for that; no matter how much she looks like a young woman.

Instead, I put my hands on her face and try to force her to look up at me, calling her name. I see her fist moving to strike her face again and tense up my arm, ready to get my wrist broken as I try to get her attention.

The fist stops mere inches away from my hand as her eyes fall on me, they look scared and vulnerable. She shakes under my grip and tears continue to fall from her eyes, wetting my hands. Slowly her arms drop to her side as I continue to stare into her eyes. Something inside of her shifts, the scared little girl slowly gets forced to the back and the Monster Killing Imp Girl comes forward, her breathing slowly recovering and the shaking subsiding but not disappearing.

Ah, I was right. She has seen far too much in only a couple of years. She knows how to force down her emotions for survival. Repress her weaker side and save it for latter to process. Crying and screaming will only get you killed and eaten… She’s seen too much…

“Lain, talk to me. Are you OK?” I ask her.

Slowly she shakes her head, “No…”

“Talk to me, tell me what is happening.”

Her eyes never leave mine as she speaks, “This has never happened before… There is something inside of me… Something woke up… It pushed me to make the contract. It pushed me to change him. It pushed me to say those things… It got angry when you asked me to break the contract, to stop the change! It… I, it’s me... They are my own thoughts and feelings, my own anger, my instincts, My Wrath…!” Something in her eyes seem to flash at the word, her cat like pupils ever so slightly dilating.

She finally breaks eye contact with me and looks down, a look of horror on her face. Her shaking increases slightly as she starts to mumble something to herself. The only part that I can catch being, “Can’t go back, can’t go back, I’ve changed… Something inside of me has changed… I didn’t want this! I never wanted any of this!”

She starts to curl up on herself, pulling herself into a ball and trying to hide her face.

“Lain, please focus. Lain, look at me. Look at me!” I tell her sternly.

Her eyes dart back up to me and I grab her by the shoulders tightly, giving them a deathly squeeze. She doesn’t even seem to feel it, but I push forward regardless and tell her, “Listen to me, you did nothing wrong.”

Her lips quiver and she shakes her head, “No, no, I made him mine. I changed him! I took away his humanity!” She cries, looking incredibly small, curled up on the ground.

“He’s alive because of you. You saved him.” I tell her seriously.

She screams, “I made him my slave! I look at him and all I can think is Mine! Him, his children, his children’s children! Generations, all of them! Mine!” She swings her fist behind her angrily and it slams into the wall, pulverizing the brick and sending a mess into the next room. “I’m a fucking monster!!!”

I look away from the ruined wall and back to her, she is sniffing back some snot, her face an absolute mess. She hasn’t even had the chance to clean herself up after spending all day hunting that Doppelganger and then going out hunting some beast in the middle of the night on top of that. For a moment, I don’t see a small crying Imp before me, but my daughter… visions of her crying when the world ended, just days before she died…

I push down those feelings of remorse and keep myself serious, my face held in position by years of service to my country, to my people. The vision fades away like it was never there and all I see is the crying girl before me. A young woman who should be at home with her family making memories, spending time with her lover… not out here risking her life and pulling herself apart.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I take a deep breath and give her a pat on the shoulder, I simply tell her, “You saved his life. Nothing else matters. Not him mutating, not him becoming yours or even his descendants being your servants when you become the Demon Queen or whatever a hundred years from now. Not whatever it is that is happening to you right now either. You saved his life. Because of you, he will GET to have children, he will GET to make a family, he will GET to have a future. Even if it is in your service, he will at least get to have it.”

She sniffs and tries to wipe away a tear, but they just keep falling, “But I…” She tries.

“No. Whatever it is, it is not important. He is alive. He will get better. He will have a future. And that is because of you. He wanted to live, didn’t he?”

She nods her head, “He… said he didn’t want to die…”

“And you saved him, that, is all that matters.” I tell her a seriously as I can.

Her eyes shift to the boy on the bed, lingering there for a long while until she finally looks back to me. With another loud sniff, she forces back some snot and uses her shirt’s sleeves to clean up her face. It doesn’t help much with the mess, only a good wash could help her now, but I leave her to pull herself back together without saying anything.

Eventually, once she has finally calmed, she looks to me and says, “I made him mine…”

She isn’t crying anymore, but I understand that her words have more meaning behind them than simple remorse.

I nod my head, “So you did… Do you plan on abusing him? Ordering him around like a slave and having him doing your bidding. You could do that now, couldn’t you? He will do anything you tell him to.”

Her eyes widen at that, and she violently shakes her head, “No! I won’t! I won’t do that!” Slowly she looks back down at herself, her eyes momentarily moving back to the boy before darting away, “… But if I wanted to, I could. Whether he wants it or not, he has no choice but to obey… I… I’m his Queen now… He is one of my people…”

She looks as if she is about to start crying again, but I let out a long breath and pat her on the shoulder, drawing her attention.

I tell her, “Regardless of if he is one of ‘your people’ now, he is my soldier. Until his service to the army is concluded, he is mine to command. I need you to swear to me that you will not abuse your control over him, that until his service is concluded, you will not try and take him from us.”

A flash of anger goes through her at me calling the boy mine, her muscles tensing for a fight and her teeth gritting as if she is seconds away from biting me in the throat. The room around us growing darker for a moment. She is quick to force it back down with an iron fist, this newly awakened part of her probably violently fighting back against her better senses. Making her angry at the thought of having what is hers taken from her. A freshly woken Wrath, boiling just under her skin.

It’s a short fight, but she manages to get herself back under control, giving me a quick apology as she realizes that I noticed. After a couple of calming breaths, she finally manages, “Yes Sir. Until he concludes his service, he is…” She struggles for the word, it fights against her to remain unspoken, “…yours.”

She falters a bit from the effort, having to catch her breath and clutching at her chest as if she had just torn something important. She shakes her head. “It was just words, but that hurt me…” She says in a whisper to herself.

Wetting her lips, she says, “Sir, I am sorry for the mess that I caused tonight… I probably woke you up… I’m sorry that I…” She looks to the boy, sleeping peacefully in his bed and stops whatever it was she was about to say. “Is it alright if I go to my room? I need to do some thinking. Figure some things out…”

I stand up from where I was kneeling on the floor and offer her a hand, helping to pull her to her feet. “You’re not going to hurt yourself if I leave you alone, are you?”

A pained look goes across her face, and she holds her left arm tightly, “No, no, I won’t hurt myself. I just need to do some thinking. I feel like I am starting to understand some things about my changes… I need to figure them out. This new change has made something, click…” She looks down, “I also just really need to be alone right now…”

“Alright, just be sure to allow yourself some rest.”

She nods, “In the morning… I, I’ll resume my search for the Doppelganger. If it is still in the building, I will kill it.”

I tilt my head at this, “Are you sure that is safe in your current condition? I need to know if you are fit enough for it.”

She looks to me with serious eyes, her gaze darting over to the boy for a second before returning to me. “I need to. I have to. That thing almost killed my first warrior…” She shakes her head a bit and forcibly corrects herself, “Smith, it almost killed Private Smith… I have to kill it. Whether I like it or not, it is personal now.

“Even if I were to order you not to, you still would?” I ask, honestly curious.

She gives a tired frown, a hand gripping her chest, “I’m sorry Sir. I don’t have a choice. It harmed what is mine, I have to have revenge.”

“Hmmm, very well… But rest first. And make sure to have a team with you. No running off on your own.”

“Yes Sir. Again, I’m sorry Sir…”

I let out a tired breath, “Stop apologizing. If there is nothing else, hurry up and return to your room.”

“Sorr… Yes Sir.” She walks over and fetches her hammer from where someone had set it against a wall, then goes for the door, her hand stopping just short of the knob. She turns and looks back to the boy sleeping in his bed.

“Please tell the medics to keep bringing him the monster meat. It will help him heal faster… My command is still going… will keep going until he wakes, so they should be able to feed him…”

She looks back to the door, her back to the both of us as she says, “Please keep the two of us separated for now… It wouldn’t be safe for him to be around me… Not until I get whatever this is…myself, under control.”

She opens the door and walks out, the soldiers and medics outside scattering to move out of her way. After a short while, some of them choose to come in, concerned about what had happened and asking questions. I simply wave them away, ordering the medics to continue bringing Private Smith the monster meat and to closely monitor and record his changes. With a slew of ‘Yes Sir’ everyone eventually leaves the room. Finally, by myself again, I collapse into the chair beside the poor boy and let out a long and tired breath. I massage my face with one hand and turn to look at him as he peacefully sleeps.

“Just kids… Children shouldn’t have to be dealing with this kind of stuff. Fighting monsters, risking their lives, whatever the hell this is… They’re just kids…

My memories go back to my daughter, to the last time that I saw her cry, to the last time that I saw her laugh, to the last time I saw her scream, to the last time I saw her smile… A tear fights to escape me, but I don’t let it fall... With a tired sigh, I stand up and head for the door. I won’t be getting back to sleep tonight. I need to write a report about what just happened. I don’t know how the General will feel about this, but I at the very least know that our researchers will be excited…