Well, that had been a shit conversation.

The fact that I didn’t remember how I made it back to my bed was also a bit disturbing.

Let’s see, I had quietly left the table, and sat at the bar while silently sipping on my first alcoholic beverage in this life. Then late into the night I.... briefly talked to somebody? It was a bit fuzzy. There may have been blue? That didn’t matter, because something important came out of last night.

I realized that I... was a lightweight. Alcohol and my body did not agree. Never again would I drink it!

Okay, that wasn’t that important.

The real realization I had, and I hated to admit this for obvious reasons, was that Bradvin was right — we would only get in each other’s ways.

I wasn’t even going to unpack the bee’s hive that was his comment on my lack of proficiency, because there was something even more important to consider — I needed to level at dangerous speeds to survive.

For them, speed leveling would only do harm in the long run.

Our teachers always beat the classic leveling speed into our heads. That, along with taking time to rest and recover, would allow adventurers to adjust to their new skills and get used to the monsters at that level before facing mobs with more difficult attacks.

For me, the classic system wouldn’t work. If I managed to figure out how to use my boon effectively, I’d be able to progress at incredible speeds at later levels. The hard part at that point would be to actually find mobs within six levels of me.

I’d also, somehow, have to get them to hit me in the balls... and survive it.

Couldn’t forget about the whole surviving it part. That was even more important than the previous two important things.

By the time I woke up, my... were they still my friends? I’d like to think so, but I’d have to think about that later. They’d already left the rooms we’d rented at the inn, abandoning me to my hangover and my questioning of my life choices.

And speaking of life choices. It was about time I figured out how often I would need a Sack-Tap and Kill.

One year was about 365 days. After multiplying by four, there were… 1,460 days—1459 since I needed to spend today finding a new party to team up with. Divide by 300 to get... ugh. This hangover sucked.

Oh! 4.863.

I had to get 5 levels a day... wait. Shit. That was wrong. It was way too early for my brain to math. I had to get one level every 4.9 days.

To put that in perspective, Bradvin’s team would have 18 days between levels if his leveling wasn’t exponentially difficult.

4.9 days didn’t sound impossible. Except that it would definitely be harder to find monsters within six levels of me once I passed 100. I might have to deal with great lengths of travel time just to find one.

Fortunately, that was a problem for future Sam! He certainly won’t look back on today and curse me out.

Now it was time to get off my ass and find a new party. And if I couldn’t find one, then I’d have to go solo.

***

I entered the Adventurer’s Guild, stepping on its wooden floors that appeared worn from years of use. The temperature difference from the enormous crowd’s body heat practically hit me in the face. While it wasn’t as full as yesterday, it was definitely less organized. But it gave me hope of finding a new party.

Off to the side, there were people standing around holding signs saying that they were looking for a group. There were also some teams at tables holding interviews for new party members. One of those was my previous one.

Bradvin sat there talking to a dwarf cleric. My friend looked in charge and focused — like he hadn’t just given me one hell of a blow last night.

“Hey, it’s Val!” someone yelled so loudly that it interrupted literally everyone’s conversations.

A young dwarven man dressed in miner gear walked into the guild with a swagger. People around there seemed to know him well because they all greeted him with smiles..

“I see you ended up becoming a non-combat miner after all...”

Once the miner walked up to the one who called him, everyone turned to go back to what they were doing.

This place was too crazy! How was I supposed to find a team in this mess? It was worse than a packed convention in my last life!

A tap on my shoulder had me turn to face a familiar blue-haired golem.

“Finally! You’re here!”

Kron? I furrowed my brow.

“You don’t remember, do you?”

“It was you I met with last night?”

“You do remember!”

“I don’t.” More people entered the guild, causing it to feel completely overfull. “But let’s go somewhere else. I have a feeling this conversation will taste better with breakfast.”

“More like brunch. And I know a good place nearby.”

***

“Okay, when you said you knew a good place, I didn’t realize you meant a food stall. And that the line would be almost as long as the one for the Destiny Test.”

“Trust me, it will be worth it.”

Considering how popular it was, it had better be worth it. The scent of fried meat and dough filled the busy street, causing my mouth to water. “So, what did we talk about last night?”

“Well, previously I mentioned to you that Gerald wanted to hear from me.”

I nodded for him to go on.

“He wanted to see my info now that I had access to the system. Maybe I should start earlier.”

I rubbed my aching temple. How long did it normally take hangovers to go away again? “Just say what he wanted.”

The line in front of us cleared up a bit as a large group finished collecting their bags of food.

I started to walk.

“Well, he discovered my boon.”

And tripped over my feet, just barely catching myself.

I turned to him, eyes wide with my surprise. “You have one too?”

“Yes. That’s why I thought I should start earlier.”

“How did you get yours? What is it? Did you also meet the rainbow-smoking fairies?”

He gave me a look that suggested that I was the one smoking rainbows. “What fairies?”

“No, never mind. Go on.”

“Well, when I entered my Destiny Reveal, I stood in a massive hallway. There were lists of medical treatments for various ailments that magic couldn’t cure.”

His eyes glittered with greed. “I memorized as many as I could. Then I reached one that I’d just proven, by adjusting the ratios, to not work as well as the healer community had previously thought. You see if you take the Urbor flower—”

I stared at him blankly, and he winced.

“Right, you’re not a healer. Anyway, I grabbed my knife and started carving the updated answer onto the wall. When I was done, I noticed an ethereal being standing next to me. I believe you could describe her expression as slack-jawed.”

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/949515587766329405/1037523508156178514/goddess_copy.jpg]

“Because you had the balls to deface her wall or because your answer was better?”

“Both! Turns out the being was the goddess of life. She awarded me with the Sub-class: Healer That Refuses to Quit.”

“That doesn’t sound like a subclass.”

“Well, it is. I can show you.”

“In a sec. I want to know how you got your boon and what it is. Stop trying to bury the lede.”

He held up both hands, and we took a few more steps forward.

“So she gave me a golden card with my class and designation. Then wrote my subclass on it herself. Finally, she handed me a dozen dice and had me roll them. After checking a chart, she said that I received the boon, Healer Leveling.”

He pinched something invisible, then handed me a seemingly physical piece of parchment. As soon as I touched it, it turned into a 2D UI. Kron looked horrified.

“I’m sure it will go back to normal when you take it back.”

I looked over his sheet.

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/949515587766329405/1037517782096547931/SPOILER_Kron_Character_Sheet_copy.png]

For those who find the picture hard to read:

Character Name Kron M. Kronus Designation Healer Class Mage Subclass Healer That Refuses to Quit Job Alchemist Start Current Level 1 1 Body 19 19 Mind 23 23 Boons Name Healer Leveling Skills (Aura) Rank Name X Cover Body (1Foot) Abilities (General) Rank Name D Healer's View Spells (Mana) Rank Name X Condense Fresh Water X Create candle flame X Move pebble X Cool Breeze X Recovery K Heal 1 K Life Steal 1 Equipment Num Name

Equiped

1 Mage Robes Y 1 Magic Amulet Y 1 Dagger N

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Oh! He had Life Steal. No wonder the spells he threw yesterday seemed like they didn’t do anything.

I tapped on his boon.

Healer Leveling

You don’t do as much damage as other designations. Sometimes you don’t do any damage at all. But with this boon, every time your party gains a level, you do as well.

My eyes widened, and I spun to look at him. “You can level with me!”

“I can level with you!” He agreed with a grin.

I would have hugged him if it wouldn’t have been super awkward. We were still in the middle of a line. Actually, I seemed to have to wait in them often. This was bullshit. When could we get our food already?

“And since I’ll be speed leveling to 300 with you, that means I can retire early and focus on my medical research.”

“That’s impressive. I didn’t realize you were such a knowledgeable healer after you messed up so badly earlier.”

He gave me a look. “I told you it was my first time. I just... over did things in my excitement.”

I held up both hands in surrender. As a tank, the last thing I wanted to do was anger my healer. Especially one that would have to make sure that area remained intact.

He hesitated. “Do you really not gain any experience by killing monsters?”

“Not according to the boon.”

“And have you thought of a way to get a monster to hit you down there so you can progress?”

“... I have been actively avoiding thinking about it. If you were me, wouldn’t you?”

He pointed to his glowing eyes. “Golem.”

“Right... Wait! I thought you were all... fully functional?”

“Oh look, we’re at the front of the line. You should try their chicken poppers and squid on a stick, or are elves all vegetarians?”

Was he serious? Or maybe I’d touched a sensitive topic for him.

Guess our partnership would have some ups and downs as we got used to each other.

I ordered based on his recommendation. He ordered the crushed ice with magic stone shavings and a bottle of the glowing liquid golems gained most of their energy from. And just before he could step out of the way, a pink haired teen stepped in from the outside. The catfolk man that was originally behind Kron glared at Murr.

I sent the rogue a disbelieving look.

Murr turned to the man and said, “I’m their DPS. They were holding my spot. You know us catfolk. Sometimes we get the zoomies.”

Shockingly, that guy just nodded. He didn’t even question him!

I don’t know why, but I waited for Murr to get his food. Maybe it was because I was actually enjoying the chicken. Surprisingly, the squid was tender. I only remembered rubbery stuff in my last life.

Oooooh. This must be the first time I’m having real squid! That was probably the difference.

Once he’d gotten his fish and a bag of cubed and fried sweet potatoes, he joined us like it was natural.

“Just so you know, cutting in line is wrong.”

“Relax, Sam. No one was harmed. I just made people wait a little longer. Besides, I was telling the truth. I’m your DPS.”

“We didn’t agree to that,” Kron said.

“Oh, come on. I overheard everything. Even the part where—”

Kron cleared his throat. “Fine. We can try it out.”

“It’s possible that we might not work well together,” I pointed out.

Murr grinned. “I’m positive we’ll figure things out, because while you two don’t earn any experience, that leaves it all for me.” His eyes looked like he was imagining the biggest treasure in the world. Then he took a big bite out of his fish. His ears moved back and his eyes squinted with pleasure.

“Earning three times the experience will help you level fast, but I don’t know if it will help you level as quickly as us.”

He held up one finger and finished chewing.

“Well, you’re not the only ones with a boon.”

I glanced at Kron. “I thought Gerald said they were rare.”

“He said, rare. Not impossible to get. Diamonds are rare, but you still see people buying them.”

I turned to the teen, who had just finished devouring his food and was starting to eye a drink stall. “What’s your boon?”

“I can get a multiplier on my experience points for finding and hitting my opponents’ weak spots. If I do it right, it’s even possible that I’ll out-level you.”

“Definitely at first, since the first few levels are easy to get. But towards the end, you’ll be eating our dust.”

He smirked. “We’ll see. Anyway. I’m bored. Let’s go to a dungeon!”

“We should get a request first,” I said.

“You mean one of these?” He pulled out a piece of paper that had a request on it.

“How did you know we’d need one?”

“Obviously I didn’t. I was actually on my way to complete this when I smelled good food and decided to find some pawn—friends to help me out. That was when I heard you talk about boons.”

“How did you get yours?”

“Tell you what. You out level me today and not only will I treat you to a meal, I’ll tell you the whole story.”

“You just want to watch me get hit in the balls.”

“I never said that.” He waved us further into the crow. “Come on, the bunny dungeon is this way.”

***

The blue swirling gate for the bunny dungeon was crowded with people heading in and out of it. There were actually a lot more people exiting it with injuries than I thought there would be.

“What’s the quest, anyway?”

Murr flicked the paper. “We just need to kill and collect five giant mantises.”

“Why collect them?” I asked.

“Some artificer is doing research on them to see if their ground up shells can enhance a type of shot.”

“Woah. Interesting.”

“Pays pretty well too, for a bunny quest. Enough to pay for your room for a week.”

I raised both of my eyebrows. That was not a small sum for taking out just five giant mantises.

Murr and Kron entered the gate on the left while survivors of the gate exited on the right.

Finally, I was entering another gate. I wondered if it would feel the same as last time.

“Hey! Move it! I gotta go kill some mobs,” some girl yelled at me.

I jumped into it. This time, there was no sensation of getting pulled into a riptide. It was just like stepping from outside to inside.

As I stepped out of the gate, I found myself on top of a grassy hill overlooking a dark forest. The sky was clear and bluest of blues; it almost seemed to glow. It made me wonder if this was a whole other world instead of just a pocket dimension.

[https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/949515587766329405/1037517840011493386/SPOILER_environment_copy.jpg]

The gates were weird like that. No one knew exactly how they worked, or when or why they appeared. At least, no one sane did.

I’d heard about those who figured it out. They slowly lose touch with reality, much like the Fae Emperors.

“Let’s go! We’ll have time to look at it later.”

I trotted up to the two and Murr pulled out a map from his inventory.

“Come on, the bugs are this way. They have black carapaces and large scythe-like arms. They like to attack by jumping down from trees and you’ll want to aim for their joints.”

Was this guy really only seventeen? “How do you know all this?”

He smirked, then pointed to me. “Look, it’s your job to distract the enemies and take hits.” Then he pointed to Kron. “It’s his job to heal you and do a little damage on the side.” Then he pointed his thumb at his chest. “It’s my job to know things, pick locks, pull targets, get us through traps, solve puzzles and do more damage to single targets than any other class. Now that I think about it, I have a lot of things to take care of. I should get paid more!”

“How about we split everything evenly for this job, and if we keep working together, we can figure out what we’ll do from there?”

Murr shrugged. “That’s fine. We can hire some lawyers or something to make a contract.”

Kron nodded. “The last thing we need is for our group to fall apart because of something easily handled by a contract.”

They had pretty good points. Actually, looking back on it, believing that I’d been adventuring with my childhood friends, was too optimistic. Bradvin figured that out within seconds of me telling him about my designation and made a hard decision. Knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.

It was like, deep down, I wanted to believe that my friends would have my back through thick and thin like I knew I’d have theirs. But they had lives of their own. Hell, I hadn’t even suspected that Kimmi preferred destruction type magic.

Maybe I hadn’t really known them at all.

“And we’re here. Remember to watch the trees for dropping mantises.”

I pulled my two swords from my inventory.

“No shield?”

“Haven’t been trained with one.”

The two looked at me in horror.

I shrugged. Didn’t have to tell me that I was in a shit situation. I knew that firsthand.

As we walked around the area where the bugs were supposed to be, my muscles grew tense. Rustling from above caught my attention, and I dodged to the side.

A massive three-foot-tall praying-mantis-looking-thing waved its scythes threateningly at me. For the first time since getting the boon Game Sight, I saw text above monster’s heads like I’d see in video games. It mentioned the name of the creature and the level, 2.

“I’m not sure what level these creatures are at, but it shouldn’t be too high up there,” Murr said.

“Wait. You don’t see its level?”

He blinked. “You do?”

I shrugged while not taking my eyes off the threatening monster. “Blue-Ash Mantis. Level 2.”

It slashed at me with one arm. I dodged and used my sword to block the other arm.

“Huh,” Murr said. “It’s kind of like watching two guys dual wielding swords go at it.”

A vein ticked on my forehead. “Are you going to kill it?”

“I thought you were going to use it to try to level?”

“You have to be joking? You want me to let it castrate me?!”

I blocked both of the arms with my swords crossed, then kicked between them while strengthening my leg with aura. It flew across the path and hit a tree.

“Of course not. Kron is here.” He turned to the golem. “You’d save his precious family jewels, right?”

“While I can save them, I give no promises to him carrying on his family line.”

“You guys suck.”

The bug shook its head. Although I couldn’t tell because our species were so different, I had a feeling that rage filled its faceted eyes—anger that its lunch fought back.

Murr pulled out a slingshot, placed a strange looking black ball in it and shot it at the mantis. When the ball landed, a puff of smoke covered the creature. Murr dashed into the cloud. I didn’t hear anything, but when the smoke cleared, the mantis laid on its carapace and had all but one of its limbs missing.

“Okay,” Murr said. “We have to test out the level thing, so I want you to stand over the mantis’ head and do some squats, maybe wiggle those Elven hips a little. Entice it to attack your groin.”

“This sounds like a terrible idea.”

“It might be, but it’s also a good experiment to see how much leeway there is.”

In response, I grudgingly walked up to the downed mantis. Then I looked back at my two new party members. They grinned and held up their thumbs in encouragement.

“Just so you know, this whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable.”

“Then be uncomfortable. Be uncomfortable or die!”

I flipped him off, then proceeded to squat down over the head of the mantis. Then I stood up and did it again.

Never, not in a million years, did I think that I’d end up teabagging some mob in real life. Thankfully, no one but these two assholes were watching me.