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Tanking Hits [I Level When I Get Hit in the Balls]
Chapter 25 - Bodies Go Down the Hole

Chapter 25 - Bodies Go Down the Hole

I focused on the monster and mentally commanded, ‘Observe’.

Armored Lizard-Dog Mid-Boss - Rank K - Level 9

Reptilian-type

Abilities: Tail Swipe, Grab, Bite, Claw

Notes: This extra-large lizard-dog is covered in the armor of its defeated foes, as well as any discarded breastplates or chain mail it came across.

It lives in the middle part of the Balrok mines and consumes the crabs it defeats.

“I think it wants to take our gear and add it to its unflattering collection,” Murr said with a smirk before firing a sleeping shot at the monster. It stepped out of the way of the ball so it landed on the tunnel floor. A pink puff of smoke expanded behind the lizard-dog, glowing in the eerie pink mushroom light.

It charged toward us while growling menacingly.

I glanced at Kron, who started to back up toward the large entrance area. “If you’re going to weaken it—”

“On it!” Then he cast the spell and threw it at the monster. As soon as it hit, the monster’s limbs couldn’t hold up its own weight. It collapsed and its momentum carried it toward us. I put out one aura-enhanced foot and stopped it. It growled deeper at me, but I had learned my lessons from previous fights. I struck its neck using Thousand Will Do, sending multiple blades of aura to slash at an unarmored section. What aura it could use protected its gray scales from getting injured, but not its insides.

Using his slingshot, Murr started peppering the mini-boss with black shot in specific areas.

I hit it two more times with Thousand Will Do sending more aura blades than I ever have before.

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The weakened effect ended, but I hadn’t been able to make it bleed. I had done some damage because it let out a weakened roar before it got to all fours and turned around. I had just enough time to use Cover Body before its tail crashed against my side, sending me flying. My back slammed into the stone wall, sending pain shooting up my spine. I slid to the floor before I could recover from the hit.

While I got to my feet, the monster glared at me with its yellow eyes while using its powerful claws to smash into the mine cart, crushing the crabs inside.

“Hey! I needed those!”

Another Weaken spell flew at the monster, getting turning its attention to Kron. It must have adapted to the spell, because this time it didn’t collapse. It howled with a voice strained by injury.

The scratching sounds, like many claws scampering across stone, echoed from around the corner as three more lizard-dogs appeared.

Shit.

We had to kill this boss fast before we were overrun with these Kobold-wannabes.

Murr jumped on top of the monster and repeatedly plunged his new dagger between its poorly tied together armor pieces around its neck. I ran up and hit its armor free leg with Thousand Will Do.

As soon as the Weaken spell wore off, the monster bucked off the catfolk like a wild bronco. He flew high into the air. Meanwhile, I used Dangerous Dodge to get out of his way.

“Watch out!” Murr twisted, trying to avoid me, but ended up crashing feet first onto my shoulders.

“Oof.” Even though I had enhanced my legs and back muscles, the sudden weight of him forced me to my knees. He flipped off my shoulders before a thick grey lizard-dog tail swiped over my head.

This thing wasn’t dead yet!?

The other three lizard-dogs reached us. One charged Murr, who dodged out of the way. That didn’t stop it from choosing its next target, Kron.

Kron may have messed up during our last fight, but he was still our healer. Like hell would I allow these monsters to touch him.

But my taunt only worked on one monster at a time… unless.

I infused more of my aura into my shout and yelled, “I’M OVER HERE YOU CRAB-INFESTED LIZARD-BRAINS!”

They slowly turned in my direction, their eyes glowed red.

Congratulations! Your taunt, Come At Me Bro! Has upgraded from Rank K to Rank J! It’s new name is Come At Me Bros!

They ran toward me. Rather than risk the lizard-dogs attacking Murr and Kron again, I head deeper into the mine. Fortunately, they chased. I sent a quick prayer to Belinda that I didn’t run into any more free-roaming mobs.

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Since I already had the terrain up to the copper mine memorized from our journey yesterday, I ran backward and redirected several attacks that came too close to me. Frankly, if I were a Golem Tank rather than an elven one, I wouldn’t have the agility to do something like this. Of course, if I were a golem, I would have the strength to tank all four of these guys.

Murr and Kron quickly adjusted to my kite by running in the back. They picked on the slowest one. Murr slung black balls at its weak points while Kron cast Lifesteal.

A claw from the mid-boss suddenly came toward me. I did a backflip to avoid it and landed on a wooden crate. Kron sent spells at the nearest lizard and Murr stabbed it in its neck, causing it to collapse.

The two smaller monsters’ eyes turned back to yellow an they immediately jumped toward Murr and Kron. The two couldn’t dodge in time and took an attack from the monsters.

Shit. “YOUR MOTHERS SMELL LIKE CRABS!” I shouted, using my taunt. I was almost grabbed by the armored mid-boss, just barely jumping out of the way of its near hand-like gray claws.

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My aura was running low, and my legs ached. I couldn’t keep this up much longer.

I downed a stamina potion, turned around, and sprinted forward, this time, toward the large open copper mine with the hole in the floor.

When I had enough of a head start, I skidded to a stop, spinning around so I could watch as the mid-boss, the remaining lizard-dog, Kron, and Murr, came barreling out of the main tunnel.

The mid-boss closed in. He lifted his left claw, so I assumed he was going to attack from that direction and dodged right. Instead, he stood on his hind legs and grabbed me. Then he gave me the worst hug of my life.

“Aaaaah!”

My chest ached. My Body Cover skill was enough to stop it from breaking my ribs, but I couldn’t breathe. I enhanced my arm muscles and tried to pull myself out of its crushing hug. Unfortunately, that was when he opened his old-sock-stinking mouth and bit down on my helmet. Since this wasn’t my goddess-given one, his teeth punctured the metal, passed my aura protection, and drew blood. I didn’t feel much pain.. at least not until it gnawed on me like I was its favorite chew toy.

Kron must have cast another Weaken spell on it because its arms loosened. I dropped to the ground. Before I could recover, he collapsed on top of me.

“Oof! I thought the Weaken spell was supposed to save me!”

“I’m getting better!” Kron yelled.

Murr’s hand appeared in front of me and I grabbed it. He pulled while I pushed, and we just managed to get me out from under the monster before it started recovering.

He smirked. “It’s done a good job of getting you crushed.”

“Don’t remind me.”

After seeing the mid-boss lying on the ground, I had a crazy idea.

It weakly swiped at me. I jumped over its attack and stabbed my sword into the scaly skin of its jaw and onto the mine floor. I created a cylindrical net, similar to the wireframe sphere, except I used a stretchy aura — attaching its jaw to the stone. The monster pushed up with his forelegs, but his head was still attached to the floor. My cylinder stretched a little, but then retracted, pulling its face back down.

It let out a high-pitched growl like it was both confused and angry.

Congratulations! You have created an Aura Skill!

Tether - Rank J - Create a small net of aura to hold a creature’s limb in place for 2-10s depending on the size and strength of the monster and the material it’s attached to.

Yes! This wasn’t the armor-destroying skill I wanted, but having a movement-restricting skill was also very useful for a dodge tank that couldn’t rely on pure strength to control a monster’s movements.

I was so happy about my new skill that I forgot to dodge when the skill ran out and the mid-boss sent a tail swipe at me, instead, I redirected the attack into my groin while activating The Shocker.

The armored lizard froze. Nausea struck me. Pain made it difficult to move. Still, I must have been slowly getting used to this horrible situation, because I raised both blades high into the air and came down on his tail. It sliced off cleanly as if I’d used some oversized ceremonial scissors.

It… bled arterial spray. All over me. I was not happy. At least that last hit finally did it in. It collapsed with a roar.

Ding-a-ling ya dong!

Congratulations! Through hardships no one wanted to see, and the slicing off of a certain appendage, you have gained a level! You have 1 attribute point to add.

Why was this system being so suggestive?!

I didn’t have time to ponder that. There was still a monster left. I scanned the mine for it and found it collapsed on the floor and very dead. It must have been killed by Murr and Kron earlier while I’d distracted the big one..

Since there were no more enemies, I sat down, breathing hard. My other party members did the same. All three of us rested there, not wanting to speak.

Adventuring was hard work. It wasn’t like a video game either when new players could keep going indefinitely. One fight that lasted a minute or two could wipe out a party’s stamina. At least, one as low level as we were. I’d heard stories about high level adventurers who had seemingly endless stamina.

Creating another aura skill while upgrading another also took a heavy mental toll. That was something I’d never heard about, but it made sense. Maybe I’d need to add a point into mind every ten levels or so, just to keep my mind sharp. Or maybe not. That would be something to speak with Mrs. Kronus about later.

Speaking of levels, now that I was level 9, I increased my Body attribute, bringing my total up to 30. While I was still exhausted, I clenched my hand into a fist. I could tell that I was stronger and that I could run faster for a longer period.

Once I recovered, I grabbed a knife and started cutting the crude armor off the mid-boss. Halfway through, Murr joined me. It might be his class, but he was way better at looting the valuables off the corpses than I was. Once he finished grabbing everything we could sell for money, Kron stood up and helped. We dragged the mid-boss’s carcass over to the hole in the floor and threw it in. Then we went to grab the other lizard-dog.

Maybe my mind was still too exhausted, but I thought of this random episode of Tiny Toons I saw on YouTube called The Potty Years I saw in my past life. As we let the body soar over the hole and fall, I couldn’t help but say, “Bodies go down the hole.”

I stopped myself from chuckling.

Kron gave me a look like he couldn’t understand what alien planet I came from. He wasn’t far off.

I grinned. “Ready to clear out more of this mine?”

Murr stretched, then his eyes dilated, similar to when he got the zoomies. “I’m almost at level 9! Let’s goooo!”