(Musical intro plays as the station’s logo is displayed)

‘Lissa appeared on the screen.

“Good afternoon Zaran-7! It’s ‘Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports...”

‘Lissa paused and looked up at the screen.

“Um, guys,” she said earnestly, “I probably don’t have to tell anyone this but today… Today is when the Federation’s expeditionary force is arriving… Um...”

She laughed nervously.

“Going off script here for a second… Guys… The Federation, the real Federation is on our side! I honestly believe that. Those jerks who said those things and who have mismanaged the disaster response are out! They are going to work on a vaccine! They are!… So guys, please… Please don’t make this any worse! Let’s all just stay calm and work together! Thing’s are going to turn around! You’ll see! So…”

She looked up helplessly at the camera.

“...happy thoughts...” she said weakly.

“Right!” she said with more cheer. “Let’s get things rolling today with some of everybody’s favorites, and I would like to dedicate this block to our fellow completely innocent friends and neighbors, friends who have done absolutely nothing wrong!, our fellow Federation citizens here on Zaran no matter what species they might be! So, sit back and enjoy some happy thoughts!”

She started the first block of music videos and nervously checked the news feeds.

She was still glued to the monitor when the door opened.

It was the station manager, Be-Gel-Kara.

He didn’t look happy.

"’Lissa!” he exclaimed. “What the heck?”

“Hi, Gel,” she said distractedly.

“Way to dampen the mood there,” he said disapprovingly. “We are Sunshine Radio and that wasn’t very sunny at all! Also, I thought I had made it perfectly clear that we weren’t going to mention… today… on the air!”

“Sorry, Gel,” ‘Lissa replied. “I just… I just had to say something, you know. We have a responsibility to-”

“We have a responsibility to our parent network and to our format!” Gel chided. “Look, I get it. I do. I’m about to soak my felt over here,” he said a bit more gently, “but the network was quite clear about this. We carry on with business as usual. It’s the right call. People look to us for light entertainment, you know, sunshine and happy thoughts and all that bullshit.”

He put his hand gently on her shoulder and gave it a friendly shake.

“Today of all days people are going to need that. Stick to the format. Do your thing. Make them smile and try to lighten the mood a little, huh?”

“Alright, Gel,” she smiled weakly. “Fiddle while Rome burns! Got it!”

“I don’t know that one,” Gel smiled. “But if that means play music while the world gets a giant Federation boot up its ass then yes! Exactly!”

“That’s exactly what it means,” ‘Lissa smiled back. “But, about the format… Do you really think opening up the lines is a good idea today?”

“I think it’s a terrible idea!” Gel laughed. “But the network says stick to the format so we stick to the format. Open the lines and fiddle your heart out!… wait...” Gel asked leaning in to whisper. “‘Fiddle’ isn’t one of those ‘HR words’ is it?”

“Not in this context,” ‘Lissa laughed. “You’re safe.”

“Phew!” Gel exclaimed in mock relief. “Now, get to fiddling!”

“You got it boss!” ‘Lissa said giving him a salute. “Hey, Gel,” she asked with concern. “Your family, did you get them out ok?”

Gel nodded.

“They are staying with some of the wife’s family way out in the fields,” Gel replied. “And you?” he asked, “Are you going to head out to my lake house tonight?”

“Yeah,” she replied. “My bags are in the break room.”

“Great!” he said. “We are going to have a nurse with a scanner show up later today. Once she sweeps the place we are going to lock everything down until the bus shows up.”

“It will be nice if everything is still here by then,” she replied darkly.

“Hey there!” Gel exclaimed. “Happy thoughts!”

“Yeah, happy thoughts...”

***

Drifting silently in the Zaran system’s Oort cloud, Hattie Stockwell listened to Sunshine Radio as she stared at the readouts in front of her.

She pulled out a bladder of “coffee” and loaded it into her trusty zero-g cup and set it to “warm”. She was one of the only spacers who embraced zero gravity. The void’s kiss meant that she would never be able to set foot on solid ground again but why would she want to?

The Void was everything. The Void was nothing. The Void was perfect. The Void was all. It nurtured her, sustained her, cradled her ancient body in its cold embrace. The Void was a magnificent lover. Once she felt his touch all those years ago she wanted no other.

The Void cloaked her. No artificial gravity meant no dimple. She only had the true mass of her ship to contend with. She rarely ever used an active cloak. It would actually be more noticeable than she was without it. When she was adrift and her custom low power systems were the only thing active she was just another rock floating in the perfection of the Void.

The Void sharpened her senses. No cloak and no artificial gravity meant silence. With her power output virtually non-existent her sensor webs could “hear” everything. She could hear the heartbeat of The Void, feel its breath on her skin.

She checked her displays carefully. Real space was still nice and solid. There were no tell-tale ripples or stress points heralding any arriving ships.

She took a long sip of her synthetic coffee as she zoomed on each of the tiny little whorls that surrounded each ship in the system. Everything was annoyingly normal.

She wondered what the other spy was up to. Through her neural interface she located their distinctive teeny tiny bump. It was still out here in the cloud with her, it’s position unchanged.

She wondered who they were. They weren’t Feds, that’s for damn sure. They were way too “tidy”, way too slick. They weren’t Republic. They didn’t “click” like a Terran ship would. They weren’t Empire either. She didn’t feel any of the “buzz” that their power plants would generate. They definitely weren’t Collective. Their inter-system jumps were way too “clean”.

They were just this nice smooth “pebble” ever so lightly resting on space and time, almost completely invisible… almost.

She slowly raised her cup to her “brother”. Whoever or whatever they were, they were a professional, a skilled master of the arts of silence and shadow. They were almost as good as she was… almost.

An amber notice flashed on one of her ultra low-power displays. Looks like the Feds were warming up a hyperspace transmitter.

Nice.

She quickly loaded her latest readings and synced her relay to fire at the exact same instant, transmitting her latest observations to her old friend and sponsor, General Morgan. She also risked a little more power to her sensor amplifiers. Those noisy Fed relays would shake the whole system for her. No sense letting a free “ping” go to waste.

Maybe she could get a better look at her “friends”.

***

Also lurking in the same Oort cloud, Xyrr/Skr/Holztz/Gretsha perched on her command pedestal of her ship, the Nothing to See Here.

“Feces!” a drone grumbled as he gazed into a data feed.

The young queen looked over at him with amusement.

“So, did you locate them?” she buzzed with a laugh.

If looks could kill…

“No, my queen,” the drone buzzed in exasperation. “It is the same as before, the slightest perturbation as the Feds sent their transmission and that is all. I know they are out there but...”

The drone trailed off in frustration.

“And no distortions in real-space that aren’t already accounted for,” the proto-queen science officer, added with amusement. “Also there are no unnatural orbits, no unusual power emissions… nothing.”

She flashed a few facets of her eye at the captain wickedly.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Hey, Vxzxu,” she asked. “Are you sure you aren’t simply misinterpreting the data? You could just be chasing an emission harmonic-”

“THE DATA IS INCONTROVERTIBLE!!!” the drone shouted angrily. “I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF…” he trailed off as an unmistakable scent wafted off of the science officer, “...oh go and pleasure yourself, Preenx...” he buzzed as the bridge broke out into laughter.

“Keep a feeler out for our friend,” the queen-captain laughed, adding her scent to the potpourri of amusement filling the bridge. “but keep your eyes on the juice-grubs! While I would love to find Vxzxu’s ghost our mission is to monitor today’s events down to the nanosecond. That’s why our silk has been spun. That’s the fly we are here to catch.”

“Yes, my queen!” the bridge replied in unison.

“Still,” the queen mused settling onto her pedestal, “I would happily surrender my scent-porn stash to find out who the hell is out there...”

***

(Musical intro plays as the station’s logo is displayed)

‘Lissa appeared on the screen.

“Good afternoon Zaran-7! It’s ‘Lissa Kay here on Sunshine Radio, your favorite source of music, videos, news, weather, and sports!” ‘Lissa said brightly at the bottom of the hour, “Hope you enjoyed those vids! The lines are open if you want to request a tune or just want to share some sunshine! But, guys, please,” she laughed with false cheer, “behave yourselves, ok?”

She tapped her console.

“Hello, my little ray of sunshine!” ‘Lissa said with a smile. “ ‘Lissa here, wishing you a sun shiny day!”

“Hi ‘Lissa!” a pol-ka said cheerfully.

“And hello to you too!” she replied with a cheerful smile.

“I just wanted to tell you and all of my human friends that we stand with you!” the pol-ka exclaimed.

“Well, thanks!” ‘Lissa said with a genuine smile. “It means a lot that our friendship-”

“We got blasters! We got bombs! We got-”

“Oooookay...” ‘Lissa said quickly poking the disconnect icon. “Um… Appreciate the sentiment but maybe keep that blaster in your pants, dude.”

Taking a deep breath ‘Lissa selected a flashing icon.

“Hello! You are talking to ‘Lissa on Sunshine Radio!”

“ ‘Lissa! About that last caller, he’s an idiot! The Federation is going to wipe you scum off of the map! They are-”

“And you have a lovely afternoon too,” ‘Lissa said as she swatted the disconnect icon.

She looked up at the camera.

“Guys, Look,” she said with a forced smile. “The world’s going you-know-where in a hand-basket. I know that! You know that! We all know that! There are plenty of places to carry on with your blaster stroking and your flag waving but not here! We do happy thoughts here, people, something that we could all use today… Happy. Thoughts. Ok, we’re going to the lines again but I will turn this car around, kids. I mean it!”

She decided to try a video call.

“ ‘Lissa here! And who do… oh (bleep)...”

“Woooooo!” a chillingly familiar blonde cheerleader yelled holding her trademark red plastic cup aloft. This time she was wearing a black polymer halter-top that showed off her gigantic Black Angels’ tattoo. “Remember me, (bleep)?”

“Yeah, (bleep), I do,” ‘Lissa replied rapidly scrolling through options on her console and triggering the “Police!” option.

“Ooooh, you said (bleep)!”

“I call them like I see them,” ‘Lissa snarled. “Here to brag about killing some defenseless community college instructors again?”

“Not this time, (bleep)”, Gwen yelled. “I’m here to deliver a message from the (bleeping) Devil herself!”

“Why?” ‘Lissa asked trying to keep her on the line long enough for the police to find her. “Why me? Why this show?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gwen asked cheerfully. “Because I love your show! It’s my favorite!”

‘Lissa’s jaw dropped. That was the absolute last thing she expected to hear.

“Anyway,” Gwen continued. “The Devil wants everybody to know that our fight is with the Federation (bleep)lords that are trying to extinctify us, not our fellow innocent civvies!”

“Ok…” ‘Lissa replied in surprise.

“Especially the Pol-Ka!” Gwen shouted. “Wooooo, Pol-Ka! Those guys have been our friends since day one! The Devil says as far as she is concerned they are human! Any (bleeps) who start (bleep) with any innocents today are going to have to answer to her and any stupid (bleeps) who (bleep) with innocent Pol-Ka are going to answer to us, you and your whole (bleeping) family! Have fun today! Get your loot on if you wanna but don’t hurt-”

“Hey, (bleep),” a teenaged girl yelled off camera, “Pinch it off! They just hit the third proxy!”

“Gotta go!” Gwen yelled. “Wooooo! Goooo Angels!”

The line went dead.

‘Lissa just sat there blinking in shock.

“Are you sure you want me to keep the lines open?” She yelled at someone off camera. “Seriously?!?… Ok...”

She took a deep breath, buried her face in her hand, and clicked a flashing icon.

“Hello.” she said in a dull voice, “You have reached Sunshine Radio...”

It was going to be a long day…

***

Inside a deceptively normal-looking freighter resting on the surface of Raylesh, Jessica Morgan sat in her command chair trying not to fidget.

“They’re late,” Jessica grumbled as she reviewed the latest intel reports.

“Typical,” Terrence replied as he poured her a cup of tea. “Not terribly efficient are they?”

“No they are not,” Jessica chuckled. “It’s fucking rude, I tell ya.”

“Well, if common courtesy was prevalent among them,” Terrence replied as he set the teacup and saucer beside her, “I daresay we wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“True,” She smiled as she took a sip.

Her expression darkened as she looked at her monitor wall.

“Goddammit! What part of ‘radio silence’ do they not fucking understand!” she growled. “It’s like herding cats!”

She typed out an angry note and hit “transmit”.

All chatter ceased immediately.

Jessica stood up and started to pace. She hated this part. She always did.

***

Across the Federation, the entire galaxy really, there existed hundreds of sapient species. One of the Federation’s core tenets was that all of them were “equal”.

This was of course, not remotely close to accurate. How could it be? There were vast differences between them. Some were physically stronger or more graceful than others. Others, were gifted with one art or another or perhaps a native technology that made them unique. Still others had such intellectual gifts that they easily claimed their place in the stars.

Then… There were the Aat…

Jaho cheerfully strode down the hallway of Zaran-7’s Federation Emergency Command Center wearing his messenger bag proudly.

Not just any Aat could be a messenger! It was a real important job!

As he rushed down the hall with his super important delivery clutched protectively to his chest, a happy little voice called out from the janitor’s closet.

“Hi Jaho!” another Aat called out.

He turned to face a young female hurriedly grooming her glossy fur.

“Hi Ree!” he replied twitching his whiskers. “Happy day to you!”

“Happy day to you too!” she replied, her black eyes sparkling, “Umm...” she said as she nervously straightened her baggy uniform, “You delivering something?”

“Yes! It’s snacks!” he said proudly hefting the bag. “I had to go to the canteen and buy the colonel and the rest of the guys in the command center some stuff!”

“They gave you money?” she asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” he said proudly. “They do that a lot!”

“Wow!” she said as she groomed herself and flashed him a toothy smile. “I couldn’t handle that kinda responsibility!” she exclaimed. “I would be afraid of messing it all up!”

“Oh it’s not hard,” he said as he pulled out a notepad with a little flourish. “I just take down their orders and-”

“You can write?!?”

“Sure can!” Jaho grinned.

“Ohmystars!” she enthused. “Could you write my name for me?”

“Sure!” he said flipping to a fresh page. “Let’s see...” he said as he concentrated. “R…. e…. e…” he said to himself as he carefully wrote each letter. “There!” he said happily as he tore out the page and handed it to her.

“Oh thank you!” she exclaimed as she held the paper to her small frame. “Thank you!”

She looked up at him shyly.

“Um, Jaho...” she asked timidly. “Do you have a safe place to stay, you know… in case things get bad? ‘Cause if you don’t you could-”

“Quit blocking the hallway, you little idiots!” an unpleasant voice shouted.

A Vulxeen was looking down at them with a nasty look on it’s face.

“Sorry, sir,” Jaho said diplomatically as Ree froze in terror. “We was just-”

“I don’t care!” the Vulxeen snapped. “We are in a state of emergency and you can’t just be lazing about in the middle of the hall like this! I should report you!” he said nastily.

“You!” he said turning on Ree. “Who is your supervisor?” he snapped as she clutched her tail nervously.

Jaho’s eyes narrowed as he stepped in between them.

“Sorry Mister Level Three,” Jaho said sneering at him.

The Vulxeen recoiled as if he had been slapped.

“Never seen one of you just a level three before,” Jaho said with false innocence. “Doesn’t that mean you didn’t grad-”

“You! What is your name?!”

“Jaho,” he replied pulling out his notepad. “Do you… need me to write it down for-”

“Aaarrgh!” the Vulxeen shouted as he stormed off. “You will hear about this!”

“Eeeeee...” Ree wailed as she twisted her tail in her paws.

“Hey,” Jaho said reassuringly as he stroked her gently. “He’s just a big stinky stupid.”

“I got you into trouble!” she wailed. “They’re gonna take your job! They-”

Jaho snorted.

“Big stupid can’t take anyone’s job,” he chuckled as he continued to stroke her head. “We don’t work for the Federation, we work for boss-man, remember?”

“But...”

“But nothing,” Jaho smiled.

He then looked back and forth. Once he was sure it was safe he leaned in and whispered.

“Hey, how many Vulxeen does it take to light a candle?”

“I don’t know...”

“None,” Jaho said with a grin, “because they’re stupid!”

Ree’s eyes widened in shock. Then, she broke out into giggles.

***

“Thanks, Jaho,” the old colonel smiled as he accepted a small foil-wrapped bundle.

“With extra pickles and mustard!” Jaho proudly proclaimed.

“Perfect!” the colonel exclaimed happily, never taking his eyes off of the wall of displays.

“So what do you think, Jaho?” the colonel asked.

“Sir?”

“About today,” the colonel replied glancing at him. “What do you think is going to happen.”

“It’s...” Jaho replied thoughtfully, “It’s gonna be bad.”

“What makes you say that?”

“When things are going to get bad you find your family,” Jaho replied. “The humans have been doing that. They are gathering up their kin. When Aat do that,” he said grimly, “it’s badtimes. It’s endwar. You keep your family close, keep food on your backs, and your children in sight. In endwar you bring your children to the battlefield. That’s what the humans are doing. It’s endwar.”

“Why would you bring your kids to battle?”

Jaho sighed.

“There is no home left. There is no safe left. There’s-”

Lieutenant Arraval rushed into the room.

“The human ships have all powered up, all of them, simultaneously!”

“Interesting,” the colonel replied. “why would they-”

“We have hyperspace flares!” one of the people in the command room shouted. “It’s the fleet! Look at them!”

Cheers broke out as ship after ship entered the system.

“It’s the Formidable!” a female kreneel cheered as a huge Federation battleship entered real space.

The colonel frowned.

The humans knew... he thought to himself. They knew they were hitting the system before we did.

“Issue a level-four alert to all forces,” the colonel barked.

“Sir?” the female kreneel asked in confusion.

“This is what the humans were waiting for,” he said grimly. “Have everyone stand ready.”

“Sir, the streets...” another person said in alarm. “we have movement!”

Across the entire planet, trucks and buses started pulling out of warehouses, parking garages, schools… everywhere.

“What are they doing?” someone asked, genuinely confused.

“They were waiting for the fleet to arrive...” the colonel muttered. “Why? Why wait until you are outnumbered?”

***

The bridge of the Nothing to See Here was in a barely controlled frenzy of activity. A massive number of ships were moments away from entering the system.

It wouldn’t be long now.

“I got you! I stinking got you!” the communications officer triumphantly shouted, spraying a huge plume of pride and triumph.

“Ugh! Not in my face, dude!” the captain-queen exclaimed as she curled her antennae back.

“Oh, sorry!” Vxzxu apologized.

“I take it you have something to accompany all that musk?” the captain-queen laughed.

“Oh do I!” Vxzxu exclaimed. “My ghost-friend just sent an unmasked transmission. I got a clear look at it! I not only know roughly where they are I know who they are!”

“Well?”

“The encryption is that unbreakable human excrement! They’re humans! Not only that but the only humans using that particular encryption are Jessica Morgan’s forces! It’s one of hers!”

“Still can’t see it though,” the science officer said staring intently at her displays. “Nothing in that area except for rocks and ice.”

“Are you sure you are interpreting your data correctly?” Vxzxu smirked.

Preenx made a very rude flicking gesture with her rear legs as she continued to analyze the sensor feeds to everyone’s amusement.

“Ignore the ghost for now,” the captain-queen snickered, “Now that we know who they are their presence is fully explained. Let’s focus on-”

“Incoming flares!” the weapons officer shouted.

“Yeah, focus on those,” the captain-queen buzzed happily as she pulled up her own set of displays.

Things were about to get fun!