“Even though I had to start over I have completed the calculations for the jump,” T’sunk’al said to the crew as they lounged in the Paper Tiger. “The improved information that Jessie dug up really sped up the process.”

“It was all Bunny,” Jessie said. “She was able to dig up those files for us.”

“I won’t ask where they came from or how she knew where to get them or that lovely map we have but it’s about time we caught a break,” Sheila said. “Still doesn’t make up for the fact you activated the hyperspace communications array.”

“Hey,” Jessie chirped, “We needed the data so we went and got it.”

“It was all Jessie’s fault,” Bunny announced over a speaker. “She made me do it!”

“You little lying piece of code!” Jessie laughed. “It was your idea!”

“I don’t care who’s idea it was,” Sheila laughed. “You violated procedure… but… quite the payoff. You are still both in the doghouse though. We are going to have a little chat about this later.”

“Yeah, some rules were broken,” Bunny replied. “but the improved models alone justified the minute risk.”

“So, what now?” Jacob said as he popped open a beer.

“We jump. We will have the prisoners in the escape pods and our crews on board the Tiger before we pop back into real space. We flush the porkies, spool up the drives, make a quick message to Federation Command letting them know where to pick up the bacon, and we scoot,” Sheila said matter of factly, “After that it’s back to the original plan. We ditch the White Star out in the void and then jump the Tiger back to Fed space. A few jumps later and we are in the clear.” Sheila turned to Bunny. “How long after we hit real space before we can jump again?”

“If we don’t care about the hyperdrive afterwards we can fire it up again in ten minutes,” Bunny replied. “It would be best to give it an hour to cool off but according to the manuals we should be able to start to spool up the drive immediately. This thing is built like a warship.”

“We can preload the second jump into the drive as well,” T’sunk’al replied. “We don’t really care where we wind up as long we are within a light year or two of our target. As long as our velocity is within tolerance we won’t put too much of a strain on the hull.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” Sheila said. “I also want a jump for the Tiger laid in just in case.”

“On it,” T’sunk’al said. “Think I can borrow Bunny to assist the navcomp?”

“Sure!” Bunny replied happily. “I don’t mind!”

“You have been all disturbingly cheerful all day,” Sheila said suspiciously. “It’s weird. Jessie give your emotional simulator a tweak or something?”

“It was the or something,” Bunny laughed. “Regardless of what she may have done or promised bailing out you meat sacks seems to be my primary function. No sense in me getting all bent out of shape over it.”

“Now you are just creeping me out. A cheerful Bunny is just wrong,” Sheila laughed.

“Well get used to it,” Bunny replied happily. “I have this great new computer, a wonderful crew, and the best operator in the galaxy! Why wouldn’t I be anything other than happy?”

“What the fuck did you promise her, Jessie?”

“A lot,” Jessie giggled.

“Well see that she gets it,” Sheila said smiling. “Ok guys, let’s get this show on the road. The sooner we are off of this damn ship the happier I will be.”

***

The White Star slipped into hyperspace without even a lurch.

“Fuck, T,” Sheila said, “That was even better than last time.”

“I’m getting the hang of this thing,” T’sunk’al laughed. “It’s a pity we are ditching it. It flies pretty damn nicely. Couldn’t we at least take it over to the Empire? This thing has to be worth more than our entire haul.”

“Nice thought,” Sheila replied. “Too bad it would take about twenty engineers to keep it flying that far. Into the void it goes.”

“Oh well,” T’sunk’al shrugged.

“We still have awhile,” Sheila said. “Let’s see if we left anything.”

***

Sheila was sitting at her favorite cafe sipping yet another cup of coffee when Lorna walked up.

“Hey boss,” Lorna said as she pulled up a chair.

“’Sup,” Sheila said with a smile. “Kash come up for air yet?”

“Barely,” Lorna laughed. “He pulls his shift, grabs a quick bite, and then disappears again.”

“Well good for him!” Sheila laughed. “So how many amulets is he sporting?”

“(Snort) All of them!”

Sheila and Lorna both laugh for a bit.

“So,” Sheila said, “I know that look. What do you want?”

“Well,” Lorna said quietly as she leaned in, “Rumor has it that Roberts is cashing out after this one.”

“Oh?” Sheila asked raising an eyebrow. “And exactly where did you hear that?”

“I think they would be happiest if I kept that to myself,” Lorna replied with a grin. “So, is it true?”

“And what if it was?”

“If so I’d like to toss my hat in the ring,” Lorna said almost in a whisper. “You guys aren’t exactly a big crew to start with and with one guy down...”

“You think we will be hiring.”

“Yeah,” Lorna replied. “You know how good I am and you know my background. I might have been just a grunt back in the day but I know I could pull my weight.”

“We haven’t decided exactly what we are going to do yet,” Sheila quietly said. “You got the chops, sure. If we do decide to replace him you could be on the list.”

Lorna grinned. “Awesome!”

“But what about Mike? I thought you guys were a thing.”

“We are but we both know the score. This life isn’t good for long term relationships. He would understand. Actually...” Lorna said smiling, “He would like to apply as well.”

“A package deal huh,” Sheila said thoughtfully. “What about Clyde? Does he know that his best two hitters are looking to jump ship?”

“No and I would prefer it if it stayed that way.”

“Well you and Mike are solid as they come,” Sheila said. “If we decide to increase headcount we will be definitely looking at you, no promises though.”

“That’s all I can ask,” Lorna said with a big smile. “Thanks!” she said as she got up and left.

Well they already have at least one of us voting for them... Sheila thought as she sipped her brew. And they are good, damn good.

***

“Alright,” Sheila said to her crew. “Which one of your assholes told Lorna and Mike that we were losing Roberts?”

Jacob raised his hand.

“Who authorized you to start recruiting, dipshit?”

“Look, we are gonna need an extra gun after Roberts splits and Lorna and Mike are fucking solid.”

The rest of the crew silently nodded in agreement except for T'sunk'al. He just shrugged.

“Fuck,” Sheila muttered. “Well we needed to have this talk sooner or later,” Sheila grumbled. “Ok, how many of you think we need to hire somebody or somebodies?”

Everyone raised their hands.

“Ok, what about Lorna and Mike. They might have been regular ground pounders but as far as mercs go they are A-listers.”

There was a chorus of “Aye” and one "I don't know them but if everybody else is happy I'm good." from T'sunk'al, a unanimous decision.

“Well that was easy then,” Sheila said. “We formally extend an offer after we wrap this one up. Jacob, no blabbing. We want their crew stable until we are done and they are paid.”

“Got it, ma’am.” Jacob replied with a big grin.

***

“Alright,” Sheila announced over the Tiger’s PA system. “We are entering real space in five minutes. All hands prepare for reentry.”

“So, have you thought about where you want to go after this?” Roberts asked Helena as he strapped her into her chair.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“I was thinking about the Empire, maybe, at least for a little while,” Helena said as she looked up at him. “I can publish from there and it might be a good place to lay low, both because of my articles and us.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Roberts said smiling down at her. “I know this great system. You will love it.”

“If you are there I know I will,” Helena said as she pulled him in for a kiss.

“Yuck!” Jessie said rolling her eyes. “I know I said I liked romantic shit but now it’s getting nauseating.”

The crew all chucked except Gloria. She gripped the flight controls a little tighter and kept her gaze forward.

“The escape pods are all prepped and under my control,” Bunny said over the speakers. “All systems green.”

“Can’t believe this bullshit is finally over,” Sheila said from the captain’s chair. “I know this is one hell of a haul but fuck am I glad this is done.”

The minutes pass and then Bunny announces.

“Reentry in 3...2...1...”

The White Star slid into real space without even a shudder.

“Fuck, T,” Sheila exclaimed, “That was perfect, absolute perfection!”

“That’s why I get paid the big bucks,” T’sunk’al clicked happily.

“Jettisoning pods now,” Bunny reported. “Firing up transmitter and… fuck me… IT’S A TRAP!”

“What!?!?” Sheila shouted.

“I just did a quick media grab and the map is on the news feed completely uncensored! The exact same map I got is what was released! This hole ain’t a hole!”

“Shit! Bunny! Get those pods clustered around the hyperdrive! T! Spin up the White Star drives and lay in a course, any course, now! Jessie! We need Councilor Morgan back from the dead!”

“On it!” Jessie exclaimed as T’sunk’al’s manipulators started typing furiously.

“Open all cargo bays and jettison everything and I mean everything, including all vessels!” Sheila barked!

“All hands!” Sheila announced. “Things are about to get really interesting! Keep your asses strapped in!”

“T, We also need a jump planned for the Tiger in case we have to bail!”

“Keep what you are doing, T,” Bunny announced. “I will get to work on the jump for the Tiger!”

T just clicked his mandibles in reply and kept typing.

“We got inter system jump signatures!” Jacob shouted.

Moments later three Federation warships decloaked less than a kilometer from the White Star, two Federation cruisers and a troop carrier.

“Target the troop ship but keep the weapons offline for now!” Sheila commanded.

“Incoming transmission,” Greg said from his station.

“Wait one minute and then put them on,” Sheila said with a smile. “Let’s stretch this out as long as we can.”

***

Captain Perkins sat on the bridge of the Federation cruiser Beneficent tapping his fingers impatiently.

“Did you send the transmission?” he asked his communications officer.

“Yes, captain,” the officer replied, “They haven’t responded.”

“Of course they haven’t,” a voice behind him cawed. “They are stalling. They need ten minutes to fire up the hyperdrive. We need to move now!”

The captain snarled. Major Skree of Military Intelligence was not his favorite person.

“They have the escape pods clustered around the hyperdrive, major,” the captain said in an annoyed voice. “They are so close that even if we somehow manage not to hit one the blast will wipe all of them out. We aren’t in the business of killing Federation civilians.”

“Sheila Donovan is worth a little collateral damage!”

“Good thing for them I’m in charge and you’re not.”

“Captain, we are getting hailed.”

“Put her on,” the captain replied.

“This is Captain Perkins of the Federation warship Beneficent. You are surrounded. Lay down your arms and prepare to be boarded.”

“A porkie?” Sheila responded, her sneering image appearing on a holo screen. “I thought the Feds just used you people for janitors and cannon fodder.”

Captain Perkins just snarled. She was trying to antagonize him, likely trying to start an argument in order to buy a few more precious seconds. She succeeded but he wasn’t taking the bait.

“You are done for, Sheila,” He replied. “Let’s just make this easy on all of us and surrender.”

“And spend the rest of my life in prison? No thanks. I’m more of a go out in a blaze of glory sort of gal. Besides, almost all of the porkies are released. You really going to waste men just for some ship that is probably insured?”

“Perhaps not to save some hulk but to finally put a stop to you?”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” Sheila replied lounging in her chair. “No way you can take this ship in ten minutes with the forces we have on board. We got a small army over here.”

The captain snarled. She was right. The number of men it would have taken to seize this ship so quickly they couldn’t even get off a distress call must be staggering.

Jessie got Sheila’s attention and nodded.

“And if you are thinking about targeting the hyperdrive...”

The image on the screen switched to Councilor Morgan, tied up next to the drive.

“Captain or Admiral or whoever you are, this is Councilor Morgan,” the image announced. “I am in the hyperdrive chamber. Hold your fire! That is an order!”

“That’s rubbish,” Major Skree screeched, “There is no way he is still alive. All simulations based on her personality profile indicate that he was likely killed almost immediately.”

The Captain turned off video transmission and muted the call.

“Major, if you think I’m going to kill a Federation Councilor over some cruise ship you are mistaken.” He turned towards his communications officer. “Contact the Peacebringer and have them launch their marines.”

“The troop ship is launching shuttles,” Gloria announced in a dead monotone.

“They say they are going to kill me if you try to board!” the Morgan hologram screamed. “Recall those shuttles now! I’m commanding you in the name of the Federation Council to recall those fucking shuttles!”

“Send a few escape pods in an intercept course,” Sheila calmly ordered. “Ram them if you have to.”

“Are you seriously going to use those people as human shields?!?!” Helena shouted.

“Only because it will work,” Sheila replied calmly. “If they were willing to kill them they would have already started shooting.”

The shuttles broke off their advance.

“I have a jump ready and laid in,” T’sunk’al calmly said. “We can go as soon as the drives are spooled.”

Sheila simply nodded. “The second that you can, shoot the pods out to a safe distance and jump!"

“Captain!” Major Skree shouted. “They will be able to jump in minutes! You have to stop them!”

“I am not going to kill civilians and possibly a Federation Councilor over some goddamn ship, Sheila or not!”

“That’s it!” Major Skree screeched. “By the authority of Federation Command I am assuming command of this vessel! Master at arms! Escort the captain off of the bridge!”

The Master at arms did not move.

“Master at arms, by my direct order, please escort Major Skree to his quarters and place him under guard.”

“Yes, captain,” the Master at arms, a huge Threen, replied and walked towards the Major!”

“I will have you in irons over this!” the major screeched.

“I don’t give a fuck, featherhead.” the captain replied. “Unlike you I joined the Federation to protect its citizens, not sacrifice them for some two bit pirate.”

The Captain turned his back on Major Skree and smiled as the major screeched and cursed as he was led away.

“Can we hit them with a pulse?” the captain asked his weapons officer.

“Not a ship of their size especially with the shields it’s packing.”

“Fuck. Can we target the hyperdrive without hitting any pods?”

“They have them close enough that the explosion from the beam would wipe them out.”

“Captain!” the science officer shouted. “The major was right. Councilor Morgan is a simulation!”

“Damn it!” the captain shouted ramming his fist into one of the arms of his chair. “They killed him!”

“Yep, he’s dead,” Sheila said happily. “Died squealing like the little piggie he was too. The people in those pods, however, are still very much alive.”

“Kill one civilian and the whole fucking galaxy will know about it!” Helena shouted.

Sheila just grinned. “Someone please shut that fucking hostage up,” she fake growled.

“Who is this?” the captain asked.

“Helena Sterling, freelance investigative reporter and Federation citizen!”

“Yeah, that’s the annoying reporter we grabbed,” Sheila said. “We are keeping her with us as a hostage. Well that and she’s been covering the whole thing. It is the heist of the century after all. We want to ensure our place in pirate history! On the bright side she has a shitload of evidence should you manage to rescue her.”

The captain muted the transmission.

“They are broadcasting from the bridge of another ship. Scan everything. Make sure those vessels floating around don’t have life signs or active powerplants and keep on the lookout for anything cloaked,” he said before switching voice back on.

“There is physical contact on the White Star’s hull!” Bunny announced. “Directly over the hyperdrive!”

“Shit! They had cloaked shuttles!” Sheila shouted. “Bunny you know what to do!”

“Got it!” Bunny started to rapidly collapse and reactivate the shields inducing intense eddy currents in all conductive materials as the White Star started to roll. The shuttles started to spark furiously and drifted away but not before a number of marines attached themselves to the hull.

“How are they staying attached?” Sheila shouted.

“Probably adhesive tethers,” Bunny replied. “Not all ship hulls are magnetic."

“Fuck. How many?”

“Twenty and they are starting to cut their way in.”

“How long?”

“Three minutes!” T’sunk’al calmly replied.

“We can make it,” Sheila responded. “Bunny. Is it possible to drop the shielding on the reactor? It’s pretty close.”

“Yes we can but it will fry the drive.”

“Ok, we wait till after the jump to fry them then. Try to hold them off with the turrets.”

“One minute.” Bunny announced. “They have penetrated the hull. Engaging turrets.”

“Thirty seconds,” Bunny said calmly.

“Drop the hyperdrive’s shields. The pulse should take care of them. If it knocks out the reactor so be it. We should have enough battery to finish the jump.”

“Yes ma’am. Fifteen seconds.”

“They used a plasma launcher! Hyperdrive offline!”

“Ok, time to leave!” Sheila yelled. “Any way to self destruct the ship?”

“Unfortunately no,” Bunny replied. They built it to withstand any internal malfunction.

“Send it on an intercept course with the nearest gas giant at full acceleration then brick the controls!” Sheila yelled as the Tiger detached from the deck. “Big as that puppy is there is no way they can stop it if we get it going fast enough.”

“Got it!” Jessie shouted as she started to type like a demon.

“Have it start shooting at everything! Get their shields lit up so they can’t see us! With our cloak that should do it. Don’t hit the porkies if you can help it. We might need the sympathy points!”

The weapons array that the White Star wasn’t supposed to have snapped online and started firing.

“Sending you the jump parameters!” Bunny shouted to Gloria. Gloria looked at one of her screens and just grunted.

***

“Fuck!” Captain Perkins yelled as his ship shook from the impact.

“Shields five percent loaded!”

“That’s military grade hardware!” the captain shouted. “That wasn’t in the specs!”

The ship shook again.

“Shields ten percent loaded!”

“Target weapons and fire at will!”

“There is no way they can beat us, sir!” the tactical officer yelled.

“They aren’t trying to. They are making a run for it! Scan as best as you can for a cloaked ship!”

***

Sheila’s eyes lit up and she grinned.

“Bunny, you brick those controls yet?”

“I’m working on it, goddammit!”

“Hold off on that for a second. Is that hyperdrive completely dead or just damaged?”

“Damaged. The fail-safes have taken it offline.”

“The capacitors still charged?”

“I see where you are going with this!” Bunny laughed. “Overriding fail-safes now!”

“Send all the pods away at top speed and light that puppy up!”

***

“Captain! All of the pods are moving away at maximum speed!”

“Shit! All power to shields! Get us out of here! Emergency speed!”

The White Star shimmered and warped as its mangled hyperdrive attempted to engage. Moments later large parts of it disappeared, the rest shattered into thousands of shards as if it was made of glass.

“Fuck!” the captain yelled slamming his fist so hard into his arm rest so hard the bridge could feel the impact.

“The pods!” he yelled. “What is the status of the escape pods?”

“They are all still in one piece but several are badly damaged and leaking atmosphere!”

“Forget Sheila. Rescue those civilians!”

“Yes, captain!”

Dozens of shuttles were launched from the damaged troop carrier and all three vessels started moving to intercept the wildly tumbling escape pods.

“Captain, a ship just jumped to hyperspace.”

He punched his armrest again.

“Activate the hyperspatial transmitter and get me through to Command. Also, release Major Skree from his quarters, please.”

***

“Well, that could have gone better,” Sheila laughed as the crew breathed a collective sigh of relief.

“I guess we need to increase the bonuses for our gun crews,” Gregg said as he pulled up a spreadsheet.

“Yeah,” Sheila replied. “Split up all the cash we grabbed. No way we eliminated all of the genetic identifiers on that ship with that little middle finger we gave them. They need retirement pay. We should be able to make our money with the loot and those drives.”

“What about the escape pods?” Helena asked. “Did they get out of that ok?”

“Almost certainly,” Bunny replied. “I gave them plenty of time and most of the devastation would have been pretty localized. The chances of one of them being damaged to the point that the occupants would have died is very very low. There were plenty of Federation ships to collect them before anything truly bad happened.”

“Thank God,” Helena sighed.

Sheila got up and headed to the cargo hold.

“Well, we got away,” Sheila bellowed, “I’ve got some bad news and some good news...”