Jaxona excitedly swam out of the shuttle into the docking bay of the Raelona in orbit around the capital. Never in a million billion years would she have imagined even wiggling her tail onboard one of these Regal Class cruisers… Oops. She meant “diplomatic vessel”. She had to be careful to get that one right. Didn’t want to slip up when she told the guys back at university.

Barely able to contain her excitement, she swung this way and that. She saw some Hands floating around a “shuttle” reaching in with tools in their tentacles doing some sort of engineering magic she supposed.

One of them looked at her and waved a wrench in a friendly way. She giggled and wiggled back and forth in reply. She liked the Hands. They were always so friendly (and really useful once you bribed them to help you with your engineering or math). Some Sundrinkers looked down their snoots at them but some Sundrinkers were uptight prigs. Technically they were ‘at the same level’ as us and without them we would still be stuck on our homeworld spitting darts at passing fish!

She was still “waving” when she heard a quiet “ahem” behind her. Oh shit! It was Argent Kaxalon!

“Um, good morning, sir!” she said whipping around so fast she pushed water in his face.

Argent Kaxalon just blinked it away with a smile.

“Jaxona, greetings,” Argent Kaxalon said in a pleasant tone. “Was the trip a pleasant one?”

“Oh yes!” she enthused, “I could see the whole capital when we lifted off. I was only able to see it through a monitor screen when I went up and down before. Actually watching it through a window is so much better! And then watching the planet, wow!”

“It is,” Argent Kaxalon agreed. “The profound mysteries of hyperspace are even more compelling I assure you.”

“Wooooow!” Jaxona gushed. “I couldn’t even imagine!”

“Well, perhaps you will be in the position to enjoy such pleasures in the future,” Argent Kaxalon replied.

“Really?!?”

“Perhaps,” Argent Kaxalon replied. “But I suppose you are wondering why your presence was requested.”

“Oh yes! I can’t even imagine why but wow! Thanks for inviting me!”

“There is someone here who wishes to speak with you. Please follow me.”

Argent Kaxalon swam through a hatchway with Jaxona close behind.

All eyes and wiggles, Jaxona followed Kaxalon through the ship looking at everything and waving at everybody as they went deeper and deeper into the ship finally reaching the inner chambers.

Argent Kaxalon paused at a door.

“The person requesting your presence is just inside,” Argent Kaxalon said quietly. “Now don’t be afraid and just be honest when they ask you something.”

“Ok...” Jaxona said dubiously. “Why would I be… oh...” she trailed off as the door opened revealing a darkened chamber.

“Go on,” Argent Kaxalon said simply motioning her inside.

Jaxona swam into the chamber and made a little squeak as the doors closed behind her plunging her into complete and total darkness.

No… It can’t be, she thought to herself as she instinctively curled up a little.

Soon a pale blue light stared go glow from the antennae of a long serpentine fish with rows of needle sharp teeth inside a huge crystalline chamber.

Holy fuckitty fuck fuck!!! she thought. An Abyssal Lord!

“Squee!” she enthused. “Oh my goodness! It’s really one of you! Oh my oh my oh my!… um… my lord...” she said as she clumsily dipped up and down in what she hoped was a bow or at least something resembling one.

The ancient horror let forth a hearty laugh.

“Oh it is so good to see that exuberance that you Sundrinkers are supposed to have. All the ones that I encounter are so… reserved.”

“Forgive any errors, my lord.” Jaxona stammered. “It’s just that um… I mean I haven’t really studied proper courtly stuff. They don’t exactly cover that where I’m going to school.”

“Nor do I expect you to know it,” the Abyssal Lord chuckled. “If I wanted an expert on protocol that would be who I asked for, besides I will let you in on a little secret,” it said as it drifted close to the crystal. “Most of that stuff you guys made up. We just went along with it.”

“Oh, ok,” Jaxona said quite relieved. “Forgive my impertinence, my lord, but why did you request my presence?”

“You are a puzzle, Jaxona,” the Abyssal Lord hissed pleasantly, “You are quite gifted for your race, a prodigy if I do say so myself.”

“You flatter me, my lord,” Jaxona said slightly embarassed.

“Well it is the truth. Your scores… your scans… you possess an amazing intellect,” the Abyssal Lord replied. “So why is it that you, who could have gone to any academy we have, who would not only would have been accepted but welcomed with great fanfare, someone who was actively recruited by the finest institutes of learning we have turn your back on all of that and instead go to a common Federation university, not only clogged with but actually taught by lesser beings alongside the dregs of your own race who could find no proper school to take them?”

“Well, my lord,” Jaxona replied, “I wanted to experience the Federation, actually meet the beings that I had only read about, to taste the waters of other worlds, have experiences that I would never have in the rarefied crystalline towers back home. Besides, those allegedly ‘lesser beings’ possess unique insights and talents that I would never be exposed to otherwise. What I am gaining is valuable beyond measure. I figured I could go to a few universities across the Federation, see the galaxy, and pick up a Federation Doctorate or three. A lot of the credits would transfer to a real university and if not I am sure I could test into more advanced classes when I was prepared to actually go to college for real,” Jaxona said cheerfully, “Besides, we live a long time. What’s an extra twenty or thirty years? I’m young. I have no real responsibilities. There is no way I will be able to do this later when I am actually a ‘grown-up’ so why not now?”

“Wise beyond your years,” the Abyssal Lord chuckled. “You are indeed gifted. Many Sundrinkers of your ‘status’ would never dare to even conceive of what you just said. Yes. You are exactly what we are looking for.”

“My lord?” Jaxona asked somewhat confused.

“The Forum needs someone like you for a very important mission.”

“I’ll do it!” she exclaimed happily. This was amazing! A real Abyssal Lord! Real adventure! Something like that doesn’t swim by but maybe once in your life if you were very lucky. No way she wasn’t going to snap that up!

“I appreciate your enthusiasm,” the Abyssal Lord said with a smile, “However, you might want to hear what we have in mind before you agree to anything...”

***

“Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me!” Gvx-Taa, hastily confirmed as the new Director of Federation Intelligence yelled at his terminal.

A Forum representative? He needed one of those like he needed an extra anal pore! Fuck! He buzzed and spit bile into a small bucket he now kept by his desk for that exact reason. As if he wasn’t giving them daily fucking reports as it was. Fuck as if they even needed reports in the first place. There are probably more of them at the crime scene than there are Federation agents and police combined. If anything they should be the ones giving him reports. Their fancy-dancy ultra-tech scanners probably had mapped everything down to the fucking quark level and they were demanding lab reports from him?

Fuck them! He spat into the bucket again and tried to control his fluid pressure. Director Axlea made this unending nightmare look so fucking easy. He asked her once what her secret was. Her reply was “It helps if you let your soul die a little.” Fuck! He thought she was joking!

He spat.

Well at least he gets to share the misery. The almighty Forum requested that their representative assist Senior Agent Xree~knExZ@@ with his task force, a task force they definitely should not know about, a task force that the late director made a point not to have other Kalent on probably for this very fucking reason.

How the fuck did they even know about that? No telling. They probably have Abyss knows how many spies in the agency and not just Kalent.

He spat.

At least he would get to see the look on Senior Agent Xree~knExZ@@’s face when he let him know that he had “assistance” from the fucking Kalent incoming.

***

“No, absolutely not! No fucking way!” Xree~knExZ@@ hissed when he got the news.

“Sorry, Xree,” Gvx-Taa chuckled. “We have a saying, ‘Misfortune longs for many lovers.’ and you my friend are getting fucked right along with me so dig a hole for your eggs in and lube up!”

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“A Forum spy is the last thing I need, Gvx.” Xree~knExZ@@ snarled. “Do you have any idea what we are going to wind up doing over here? I really don’t think either of us want witnesses on this one.”

“Well I got it straight from the fish’s asshole that they are cool with anything we do short of a war with the Republic,” Gvx-Taa replied. “They are more than a little pissed off that Axlea died before she reached the great ocean whatever that means. Besides, they promised us the data from their scans and continuing support if we ‘fully integrate’ this little fluke. They want that Hu bitch as bad as we do it seems.”

“Great, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with,” Xree~knExZ@@ growled.

***

“I’m really really really excited to be working with you!” Jaxona enthused to Director Gvx-Taa and Senior Agent Xree~knExZ@@ as she wiggled excitedly.

“Likewise,” Gvx-Taa said sourly. Xree~knExZ@@ just stood their silently.

“I just wanna let you guys know that I’m not here to interfere in any way. I’m just here as a liason between you guys at Intelligence and the Kalent Forum and to help out in any way that I can!”

“Well about that ‘liason’ bullshit,” Gvx-Taa buzzed. “We know exactly what we are doing and we don’t need any fucking eels telling us our business.”

“No no no no!” Jaxona said emphatically, “You got the wrong idea! I’m not here to tell you how to do anything! I’m here as a resource for you. If you need anything, anything at all from the Kalent I’m your girl! And seriously, anything else I can do to help is totally my jam! Paperwork, data entry, manning a video monitor, food and beverage runs… you name it! The Kalent just want to help and that goes double for me!” Jaxona said enthusiastically. “I’m just thrilled to be a part of this! This is history, real history, in the making right here!”

“Hmm...” Xree~knExZ@@ said dubiously. “Tell us about your service history, all agencies, military units, any ‘special’ details… all of it.”

“Well,” Jaxona said taking a big gulp of water, “Until yesterday I was a grad student here at the Federation University working towards my masters in Galactic Studies. Before that I went to Yyxlon academy back on our homeworld where I was on the groxan team and the debate team (And to use a terrestrial term I totally kicked some ass!). I graduated as the first seat… Oh! I also was in the Kelp Explorers where I got almost all of my merit badges except for-”

“You have to be kidding me!” Xree~knExZ@@ snorted. “You seriously expect me to believe that shit?”

“It’s true!” Jaxona exclaimed. “They didn’t want to load you down with some super spy or stiff-spined military type who would cramp your style. They picked me because I was convenient and I’m familiar with both Galactic culture and this planet in particular. Seriously, I’m just here as a representative of our Forum so that you can have a direct point of contact and can skip all the normal political carpstuffing.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Xree~knExZ@@ replied,“then you will have no problem taking our lunch orders.”

“You got it boss!” Jaxona enthused. “Ok guys what will you have?”

After she took all the orders and money she scrambled off at a near reckless pace in her bot.

“So?” Xree~knExZ@@ asked the director.

“I ran her data the second she started talking,” Gvx-Taa said. “It all checks out, then again it would wouldn’t it? What do you think?”

“Odd little hopper, that’s for sure,” Xree~knExZ@@ said.

The day went pretty smoothly and damned if Jaxona didn’t make herself useful around the task force office. She prepped documents, got beverages, emptied the waste containers (properly once she was instructed how) and otherwise made things go a little better.

She also seemed to know exactly when Xree~knExZ@@ needed a refill.

“How did you know I preferred human coffee?” Xree~knExZ@@ asked suspiciously.

“You asked for it last time?”

“Did I?” he shrugged.

“Well how else did I know?”

“Whatever. Anyway, send everybody the files for this afternoon’s briefing and get the conference room ready.”

“You got it boss!” With that Jaxona scampered happily away.

Well at least she was telling the truth about being a willing gopher, Xree~knExZ@@ shrugged.

***

After the briefing Jaxona approached Xree~knExZ@@.

“Um, excuse me,” she said hesitantly.

“Yeah, keep it brief.”

“I have a few questions about the um, briefing?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s awesome you guys backing off and just running surveillance for a bit. It’s a great way to capitalize on this awful situation.”

“I’m glad you agree,” Xree~knExZ@@ said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I just have a question,” Jaxona said, “Why are we running such heavy direct surveillance when we could do a lot of it through the camera system and a satellite? I mean we don’t really need to know ‘what their lunch smelled like’ we just need to know where they go and who they talk to. With more passive methods we could really reduce the chances of-”

“I think we know what we are doing coffee-bot!” Xree~knExZ@@ snapped.

“Sorry!” Jaxona said backing away. “It’s just that I’m trying to learn and stuff. I was just curious that’s all.”

“Yeah… yeah, sorry I nipped your head off,” Xree~knExZ@@ said remembering how he got kicked around at first. “You just picked the wrong week to show up that’s all.”

“It’s ok, I know things are hectic. I was just curious, that's all. I shouldn’t have bothered you. Want some coffee?”

“Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

Xree~knExZ@@ shook his head as he watched Jaxona wrestle with the human style coffee maker he brought along. He really did take a swipe at her for little reason. She was just asking a simple question and he did say for everyone to ask those. He guessed that also went for the weird ‘Forum Liason’ that he found himself saddled with…

***

The next morning Jaxona was waiting by his desk practically vibrating in her bowl.

“Jaxona,” Xree~knExZ@@ said as he accepted the cup of coffee she was holding.

“Guess what I got!” Jaxona exclaimed.

“What?”

“Oh nothing… Except a full analysis of the crime scene from the Kalent,” She put a data crystal on his desk. “I couldn’t make heads or tails of it but then again… Galactic Studies… duh!”

He smiled despite himself.

“I’ll send this over to the techs working the case, thank you.”

***

“Well the Kalent actually came across with something,” Xree~knExZ@@ said to Gvx-Taa when he dropped by his office for their daily meeting.

“No shit?”

“Yep, their scans from the crime scene.”

“I’ll be damned! The fucking eels actually were useful for once.” Gvx-Taa buzzed. “So how’s their little spy coming along?”

“I actually am beginning to think she is just a grad student they snapped up,” Xree~knExZ@@ chuckled. “Either that or she is a master of the game. Either way,” he chuckled, “she makes a decent cup of coffee so I’m keeping her.”

“I figured I would have to have you sedated by now,” Gvx-Taa clicked.

“Actually she’s alright,” Xree~knExZ@@ said, “She’s actually already making herself useful around the place, doesn’t get in my way, doesn’t try to run the show. She seems perfectly happy making coffee and tea, taking lunch orders, and emptying the garbage.”

“That’s just suspicious,” Gvx-Taa laughed. “A high and mighty Kalent happily emptying waste baskets?”

“I took a moment to call her grad student coordinator and they say that’s just the way that she is.”

“Huh, go figure. Well I have known a few Kalents who weren’t full of themselves. Guess she’s one of those.”

“Thank the creators!” Xree~knExZ@@ laughed. “So what do we have on the assassination? Creator! It still feels so strange to say that.”

“Tell me about it,” Gvx-Taa replied. “Still can’t believe it either. To answer your question it’s more of a question of what we don’t have. We don’t have much.”

“What?”

“The projectile almost completely disintegrated on impact with the shield. What was left pretty much blew apart in the water. The lab is sifting through residue and fragments,” Gvx-Taa said grimly. “The isotopic analysis was useless. We have elements from across several systems, all Federation. Not a single element we have found has come from anywhere else. We haven’t gotten far concerning where it was made but how it was made is quite interesting.”

Gvx-Taa continued, “We have tiny fragments of an arc-welded seam. Arc-welding isn’t done all that much in the Federation anymore but it is still used for some processes. What isn’t done is arc-welding performed by hand. Only the humans do that and it’s a fast dying art in the Federation. We have an old human looking at the weld fragments and they say that it was an incredibly well done job, master craftsman level. Considering the stresses applied I don’t doubt it. We also found some traces of a metal that could have been used as solder.”

“What’s solder?” Xree~knExZ@@ asked.

“I had to look it up as well,” Gvx-Taa replied. “It’s a metal alloy that melts at a relatively low temperature used to fuse together electrical conductors. It’s an archaic tech but makes superior connections when done correctly. According to the nerds it was used by several species pre-contact but the only people who used it recently were humans. The elements in the alloy, however, are all Federation origin. It was likely produced by the builder.”

“So we have human welding and human solder,” Xree~knExZ@@ said. “Not really a surprise is it?”

“Nope. That plus the ceramic powder and fragments, a high density high temperature ceramic almost exclusively used in bearings paints a pretty clear picture. A purely kinetic weapon with hand arc-welded seams, soldered electrical connections, and a payload of what was likely ceramic ‘buckshot’… The builder was Terran, almost certainly… or possibly a Z’uush but with the solder that’s unlikely,” Gvx-Taa said in a matter of fact voice.

“Fits the profile of our prime suspect,” Xree~knExZ@@ replied. “Doesn’t sound like Patricia’s MO though does it?”

“No,” Gvx-Taa said, “It doesn’t. Current theory is that she hired outside talent for this one.”

“Any suspects?”

“Nothing concrete,” Gvx-Taa replied. “However, based on what we know about Patricia she would hire the best. And, if she hired the best then that would be The Hatchet.”

“Seriously? They call themselves The Hatchet? Seriously?”

“That’s their working name,” Gvx-Taa shrugged. “Supposedly they have a one hundred percent success rate. They say that if you can meet the price then the target, no matter who they are or how well protected, will die. Oh they also rarely use traditional weapons. The ‘weapon’ is usually some weird trap or custom built device.”

“Sounds like our man,” Xree~knExZ@@ replied.

“Yeah for all the good it does,” Gvz-Taa buzzed and spat into their bucket. “Nobody knows who they are or what they look like. We’ve gone over everything we have both by hand and AI and nobody really stands out but a weapon like that could have been triggered and controlled from anywhere. Odds are they were nowhere near the impact site. We have a complete blockade in place but we can’t keep that up forever. We are going to have to drop it soon. The humans will scream profiling but we can scan and check every human leaving the planet for awhile after that but we will only be able to record the people traveling legitimately. Nothing stopping The Hatchet from bribing someone to smuggle them out. If we can’t identify them in the next couple of days they will be gone.”

“Well hopefully the Kalent scans will give us something we can use,” Xree~knExZ@@ muttered. “Wait. That park is in our ‘shadow’ secure zone. It gets swept pretty regularly. How was something like that missed?”

“It showed up as one of our own sensors.”

“Fuck.”

“I really want this asshole!” Gvx-Taa buzzed. “While you are doing your thing I have a huge chunk of the rest of us trying to identify this Hatchet. I want to put them under a prison somewhere.”

“Yeah, and maybe they could be convinced to hold some seminars while they are down there,” Xree~knExZ@@ chuckled grimly.

***

Jaxona was damn near creating a whirlpool in her globe when Xree~knExZ@@ returned.

“Did you get the scans to the nerds?” she asked excitedly. “Do they think it was a Terran?”

Xree~knExZ@@ looked at her suspiciously and then shrugged. She was the Forum Liason after all.

“Actually they do,” Xree~knExZ@@ replied. “The killer tried to put us off the scent with the materials but the techniques and design are about as Terran as an AK. Now the problem is going to be catching the fucker before they can escape which is going to be damn near impossible. That fucking missile or drone or whatever they want to call it could have been controlled from anywhere on the planet. Hell they could have already been in orbit from all we know.”

“But could it really?” Jaxona asked. “I mean wouldn’t the assassin need to confirm the kill and all?”

“The fucking news did the job for them,” Xree~knExZ@@ grumbled.

“But couldn’t we make the news say what we wanted?” Jaxona did a fish shrug. “Oh well, here’s your coffee!”

Jaxona scurried off.

Xree~knExZ@@ sipped his coffee as he went over the intelligence reports. They really were putting forth too much effort on all this intensive surveillance and were incurring unnecessary risk for little added gain. Backing off and relying more on electronic surveillance would be a solid move. They didn’t need to know what their breath smelled like. They just needed to know where they went and if they contacted anybody. Maybe bring in a satellite or two...

He continued to sip his coffee. A small doubt started to nag at him.

They would have had to confirm the kill wouldn’t they?

He typed a quick level one message to the director.