“Look, I’m just saying we could have approached dealing with the guy a bit less dramatically.”

“How do you mean? He answered our questions right away, no debating anything!”

“You ripped the roof off his house and yelled at him while still holding it. That’s more than a little intimidating.”

“Oh, you’re too worried. I put it back.”

“Houses are not Legos! They don’t work that way!”

Hannah smiled at the older man who had come to see the house. She accepted his hand, offered in greeting. “It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Herrera. This is a very special property. Shall we start the tour?”

"Oh please. I was very excited when you called and said I could see it. I won't lie, I was surprised when you disclosed who it used to belong to, and it's, let's say special extras."

“Well, we legally have to, but in this case, I feel it also adds to the home’s providence. Call it the house equivalent of a roguish past.” She laughed at her own joke as she led the older man up to the house, “We have done a full remodel of the main house, though the hardwood floors are original, and we didn’t knock down any walls.”

She led him through the main surface house, showing off the views and the modern amenities as well as explaining the changes, mostly just new paint and appliances. “The kitchen and bathroom on the main level were essentially the only full guts. Unfortunately, the bathroom was just unrecoverable, though we kept a similar color palette, if in a more modern tone.” She explained the soft green paint, though the floor tile was grey with wood cabinetry and all the porcelain in the room was white.

“The kitchen is new cabinetry, with all new stainless appliances. The old set were a color called harvest gold in ads but where basically just an unsettling yellow.”

“I remember those. I think my mother had a range like that. As a potential buyer, I appreciate your foresight.”

Hannah smiled. “Next, we are going to head into the base if, you’re ready? What do you think of the house so far, she said leading him towards the basement

"The house is lovely. The updates still leave the elements of an older home I like seeing in place. Very well done."

“Thank you. We put a lot of care into this place. “The house has four lifts, two for people and two for vehicles, we’ve updated all of them to make them safer, smoother and more energy efficient. They took the elevator down to the electrical room. “We have completely redone and modernized the breakers and the wiring as well. We did everything behind wood panels, so this space is a bit of a foyer to the entry room.”

"Very nice, I was worried it'd be some brutalist kind of space. A concrete hole with a lot of panels and computers and things."

“It was, but no, we very much leaned into the very environmentally conscious look where we could, with copper and steel as fittings to tie it into the rest of the structure.” She walked to the first door, and cycled the two portals so they could walk through to the entrance hall. “This is the first room with a view of the biodome. There is a door here that will take you into the dome that we had added but it’s like other airlock patio type structures the original owner had installed previously, and the path lined with cobblestones will take you to the garage storage and the mother in laws house.”

"A mother in laws house?" He was rather surprised. "Well, I don't have one, but I sometimes do have guests, so I can see the use still." he chuckled. "The gentleman who built this went all out, didn't he."

“He was a bit extra, yes. We believe the house and what we call the Monther in Law’s house where the original base structure, that was later expanded into what we have now. However, the best is still yet to come.” She led him through another door. “This is the great room. We restored the original bar as a conversation piece, as well as the original lighting while taking out the shag carpet to install the hardwood flooring. And of course there is the conversation pit, it’s a bit of an icon in nineteen seventies architecture. We installed the leather padded safety rails and reupholstered the pit itself in brushed leather that is sinfully soft.” The leather was also only a few shades darker than the hardwood itself and matched the seats of the bar stools.

"And added a curved TV to one side. Very nice. I'm guessing that wasn't in the original seventies decor, of course." He laughed. "Still, it looks cozy instead of potentially leg breaking. "

“We thought about putting a fish tank in, both to use the space and for the glorious irony, but if you’ll step down into the pit and look up, you will see another of the amazing features of this room.”

He did as she suggested and looked up. "Oh, now that is a view. The jungle doesn't overgrow it at all, you can see the waves above."

“Not at all, and it’s even more stunning at night. The lights down here automatically go to moonlight levels, and it’s magical.” Hannah smiled, giving him a few minutes to enjoy the view and look around. “Now if you head this way, we come to the Junction room, from here we can go into the professional wing or the personal rooms which way would you like to start?”

"My understanding from the introduction pamphlets you sent is that the professional area is fairly sterile so I think the more recreational rooms would be more interesting. reasonable lab layouts are not terribly hard to imagine."

“Of course! Then we go through here and continue this way instead of through that lock system.” She explained as they walked on. “That brings us to the kitchen. It was a chef’s kitchen to begin with, but once more we replaced everything, this time with black chrome appliances. We kept the table that was down there, as it was frankly too big to move, and fit the space just too well. Again, the hardwood is new, but the lighting was kept after being restored.”

“It’s a wonderful set, with those heavy chairs. I know what I’m doing if I have to deal with donors in the future, or ever again. Even semi-retired, it’s publish or perish.”

“I’d heard that.” She smiled, continuing their slow but steady walk through, passing through another of the short tunnels.

“This is the bedroom, again we restored the lights and put in hardwood flooring. We also oiled and refinished the bed, as it’s built in so there was no changing it. We did build in some added closet space as well.” The realtor explained, before gesturing to the bed. “As I said the bed is part of the structure; we did replace the mattress however. It has a view like the entertainment pit in the sitting room.”

"Very nice, a very restful space, and it looks like it'd also have a great view in the morning. No extra bedroom in the domes?" he asked.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“No, not here, though there is a guest room in the mother-in-law’s house as well as spare bedrooms in the topside dwelling, but not in the main compound. In fact, one of the only downsides of the Base section of this home is the bathrooms. There are only two, one off of the Master bedroom and a small water closet we were able to add to the lab section.” She shrugged apologetically. “Now through that door is an office and this one here leads to the bathroom. Which I admit, is my favorite room in the house. It is one of the most lux rooms in the entire place. Mister Lizard was apparently a confirmed bachelor and treated himself. Someone knew the importance of self-care.”

Mr. Herrera chuckled. "Oh, now I need to see it." He laughed when they entered. "Well damn. I feel like you didn't update much here. That is one hell of an old school tub."

“This room was the one we did the least with, we updated the flooring and plumbing put in new water heaters. The property is heated with geothermal energy so the overall energy bill is a pittance of what a property this size would usually have. And well you can’t improve on this, It has a warm swimming pool, a Sauna, Walk in rain shower, bath tub, hot tub and cold plunge pool.

"Wonderful, I do approve of an ecologically minded home." He looked out into the jungle surrounding them. "And all of this? How hard is it to keep?"

“It’s mostly self-maintaining. After over forty years of being abandoned all the Green Witch we brought in said it needed was some fertilizers and nutrients.” She explained. “In the same room as the electrical panels there was a system plumbed in to add an organic fertilizer that is safe to include in the nightly rainfall without causing problems for the ponds and streams. I’m not sure I know how that works, but I’m not the expert who installed and set up the gear.”

"Well, that's useful. I can't say I'm a botanist." He joked. "So, what else should I know? And is it safe out there?"

“Yes, it is. We removed some small caiman that were out there, the Witch said they were not essential to the ecology. There are some hallucinogenic frogs, they are bright yellow so hard to miss. And to be fair, I suppose there are pit traps, but they have all been marked with special orange rocks, and a safety switch for if a person falls in.”

"Why would you leave pit traps?"

Hanna sighed. And gave a small wave to the papers in her arms “That is part of the disclosures. There is another tunnel off the bedroom porch, it leads to a moon pool and submarine dock. We have that locked down because the Lake Superior dragon nests there, and the pit traps in the jungle deliver food to her. The government also eminent domained most of the island that was part of the original property. the elevator and dock are still part of this property, but the rest of the island has been populated with sheep, parks and services will refresh them as needed,”

"Thus, making a tamer, more regionally harmless Dragon. That makes sense, though it's an intimidating neighbor.” He tilted his head and chuckled. “But to be able to study a known Kaiju up close? That does set one’s researcher, and writers, instincts dancing."

“I can imagine, and now the biodome itself has a breeding population of endangered land turtles, and greater Rhea. The local park rangers want access to check the population and to collect Rhea eggs, it was a massive pain, but we moved an entire Rhea hatching Facility off site.”

"Well, I can only imagine I appreciate that." He chuckled. "Or will if I buy. I think there was something about an outer entrance in the description. Does that mean they don't have to troop through the house? I mean, I understand why they'd want to, but I wouldn’t' want people trooping through the house at random days."

“No, the rangers would come in the glade entrance and would only go to the Rhea nesting site and the turtle grazing areas.” She pulled out a map to show Mr. Herrera the accessible areas

"Well, that's doable. At least I would think so. And I saw the asking price. That is for everything?"

“Yes, the price is for the property as a whole, and because of a few of the disclosures there are some special tax breaks in place, as well as build limitations.” She flipped through the papers to show him

"Well tax breaks are always fun. Oh, wow, they are happy to feed that darn dragon, aren't they?"

“Well, the dragon is a state icon, and the state government wants to keep her reputation of friendliest Kaiju in the US.”

"Well, she's not attacked anyplace major since this Lizard fellow’s death, or so I read, I think. An animal doesn't need to act like a weapon, and all signs seem to point to it being just a very large one."

“Exactly, and tours to see the dragon, and dragon merch are big tourist dollars.” Hannah said. “Would you like to see the mother-in-law house? She was worried the old man was tiring from the long walk.

"Yes please. Though I think that'll be it for the tour, for me."

“Of course.” She led him back through the house, “there is a path we put in that goes from the lab exit to mother-in-law house, but the jungle is hot and humid, and it’s a rough hike. I just had a baby about two months ago, so I am not up to that walk yet, there is a fishing pond halfway there, once more, along a cobble path. I’ve included photos in the packet I sent you. We put in a small outdoor kitchen and picnic table there along with a small shed for fishing gear.”

"That sounds lovely, and I'm retiring soon, well, semi-retiring. Still going to do a bit of teaching." He admitted. "And congratulations! boy or girl?"

“A little girl, her name is Jessica.” Hannah pulled out her phone to show him a series of pictures showing a newborn as well as a family with the newborn. The screen ended up with a picture of the baby in a lacy pink dress, cuddled up on blanket with a white crocodile wrapped protectively around her.

"Odd stuffed toy." He said absently. "I never had a child, to set in my ways to want to get married, and never found a partner that felt worth it."

Hanna gave him a smile “That’s not a toy, that’s my friend and partner Lisa’s pet Crocker Spaniel, Davy. He adores the baby. I was worried about him hurting her, he’s an excitable fellow. But he’s great, he won’t let so much as an ant get near Jess when he’s around.

"Well, that's a great trait in a pet. Pack bonding isn’t something that is really common in crocodiles but, well we stand in a place that proves weirder things can happen, right?"

“Yes, and very appropriately so. Lisa was the one who did the first walkthrough of this place, as well drafted the first renovation plans for the entire project. She got Davy from here, finding him a few hours after almost getting eaten by a dinosaur, but villain lairs, am I right?”

"I guess that would be a professional risk, wouldn't it." he chuckled

“Yeah, fortunately she hired experts to help her. And now the place is ready for sale. In fact, you are the first person to tour it, since you reached out before we even thought about taking any appointments.”

"Didn't know there were experts on undersea bases attached to houses, but I'm glad she thought of it." He admitted. “And I found out about the property and was one of the bidders, but I wasn’t aggressive enough, obviously. Though this means I don’t have to worry about the renovation work.”

Hannah laughed putting her phone away. "Not quite that specific. She hired an urban exploration team called the "Lair Hunters" to aid her. They did a whole video series on their adventure down here. I think they are still posting it in fifteen-minute chunks on YouTube. "

"I'll have to watch that." He chuckled. "Okay, brass tacks are, I'm interested in buying, and I’m not going to dicker on the asking price, the property sounds worth every penny. When can we start the paperwork?"

"I have it all in the file, we just need to get a notary and the paperwork from your bank. She checked her watch. If you have things ready on the bank side. I can have my friend Simon come notarize things for us.”

"I have the documentation with me, so no time like the present."

A short while later Hannah had finished looking over all the signed paperwork and handed him the keys and codes to the Lizard house. "It has been a pleasure working with you, Mr. Herrera, I really think you are going to love this place.

"And you! I admit, it's just got so much going on that it'll keep me interested in a long time!"

Hanna left to file paperwork, taking her phone out in order to call Lisa and to let her know about the commission her friend would be getting very soon, leaving the elderly man to enjoy his new home.

He watched the realtor leave and closed the door. While there wasn't any furniture yet, he was very happy. "Home sweet home. He went back into the house, making his way to the locked door to the submarine room. He used the maintenance code to open the door and walked in. He let out a low sharp whistle, and a huge white form rocketed into the dome, Climbing onto the beach and rubbing her head on the man.

“Hello Darling, did you miss me? He rubbed the ridge over the dragons large golden eye. “I am sorry, I had to stay away so long. I hear you have a son now. He’s adorable. Might have to see if we can make another one.” The dragon closed it’s eyes leaning into her Master’s touch Giving him a loving growl.

Now, it's around the time of year to send Statesman my 'just because I'm dead, I can't have you forgetting about me' gift. Can't let him forget Mister Lizard after all, Right Darling? I wonder if any of the Tokay's are still down in the jungle somewhere."