New Listings

New Listing

“You know, you can’t go wrong investing in Real Estate. They aren’t making more land, anymore.”

“Are you out of your mind? GeoLord lifted an island in the Indian Ocean last week! Heard he sold it to a Saudi Investor.”

Conversations about Real Estate in a Post Enhanced World

Lisa sighed, clicking through google. She needed someone who knew villain homes, she had no desire to get stuck in another death trap. Yes, it had been mostly broken, but that was a very important ‘mostly’ and the experience had been terrifying.

Google popped up a you tube video from a team of urban explorers “Lair hunters. That sounds promising.” She watched a couple of videos, then sent a DM to the team, “Hi, I am a real estate agent tasked with preparing the home of Mister Lizard for sale. I would love to invite you to do a walkthrough with me as I understand the dangers involved in villain property. The home has been abandoned since 1978.”

It didn't take terribly long for a response to come through. "We're willing to discuss the site. We can meet you at St. Guinefort’s School any day this week." An address followed, as well as a street-view picture of what looked like an older school building that looked maintained but not in active use.

“How about tomorrow at ten am?” She messaged back, pleased to not be waiting long. “I’ll bring bagels and coffee!”

"Bagels are good. My wife is out of town, and the rest of us can't cook. See you at ten."

“Okay, this might just work out!” She cheered.

She was out bright and early with a box of bagels and a selection of spreads. She knocked on the door. “Hello this is Lisa from Enchanting Estates.”

A panel slid open on the wall, a section that had looked like normal wood. A man’s face appeared on the screen. "You got the bagels?" He asked.

“Right here.” She held up the bagel and coffee buckets up “With garlic, honey butter and cream cheese spreads.”

"Alrighty now! I'll be right down." It took about two minutes, but the door was unlocked, loud clicks reaching her ears several times as it appeared there was more than one, and when the door swung open the deceptively wooden and glass portal managed to give the impression of weight she wouldn't have expected. Inside the man from the screen stood, smiling.

He wore a UCLA hoodie, an obviously well-loved and care worn item, along with carpenter’s jeans and heavy boots. His eyes were a dark blue, with his hair a dirty blonde. He had the look of a transplant from the same state his shirt originated in. He offered her a hand, first to take the coffee and then to shake. "Carl Maynard. Good to meet you, Lisa. um, you didn't tell us your last name?"

“Lisa Harris. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Maynard. If I remember your videos, you’re the primary videographer? You have a good eye, at least from what I could tell.”

"Thanks! I went to film school, so of course, am technically unemployed except for Youtube." He chuckled, letting her in, then shutting the door. Six heavy duty locks automatically latched behind them. "Don't mind that. Security is one of the building’s key features. That, a creepy chapel, and boiler room right out of a horror movie." He said when she looked surprised.

“Well, your first set of videos said this was a lair of a so called goon recruiter called Shepherd Abbe. I watched the video of you deactivating a lot of traps and secret doors. That’s the main reason why I contacted you.”

"Yeah, you mentioned a villain’s house. Are we talking house or lair? Or is that not known for certain?" He asked, as he led her through the halls. The feeling of an abandoned school was very present, though most of the doors were closed. Still, there wasn’t any dust, nor creepy projects from long vanished students, making it a bit less unsettling.

He led her to an elevator, much to her surprise, hitting the button for the third floor, as he leaned against the wall. "Villains hate stairs." He said with a shrug.

“I can understand that. Allegedly, this is just a home. But I don’t trust it. It’s a big house on a lake with lots of woods. I am not going to risk it being a lair while trying to inspect it by myself. Not on top of it having been abandoned for nearly fifty years.”

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"Yeah, I see why you'd be doubtful." Carl nodded. The elevator dinged, and they stepped out into a large common area with tables and workbenches scattered throughout, a seating area with a large TV, and several rolling white boards with notes about what Lisa assumed were potential targets for exploration.

An athletic red headed woman and a tall dark-haired man were sitting at a conference table of sorts in conversation, glancing over as they appeared.

"Ahh, our guest with bagels! Hello!" The man stood, green eyes taking Lisa in with a scan that had nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with weighing her as a threat. The red head looked up with a mostly, almost studied neutral expression, though her vision did seem to lock on the bagel box.

"Lisa Harris, this is Ryan Doyle and Emilia Booth, the other Lair Hunters."

“Pleasure to meet you.” She shook their hands after setting the bagels down on the table. She opened the box and set out the spreads. “Please help yourself. And thank you for seeing me so quickly. My boss is weirdly insistent on jumping on this place.” She said stepping back, not wanting to block access to her first impression.

Bagels were quickly plucked from their box nest, though in Ryan's favor he did make sure to get Lisa what she wanted before choosing his own, apparently having more upbringing than the still quiet woman, and more awareness than Carl who fell upon his bagel like he hadn't eaten in days. Based on the number of fast-food containers she noticed scattered around the room, she suspected they'd not been cooking much.

"So, tell us about this house." Ryan said, once Carl told him what had been discussed in the elevator. "I'm guessing we're talking big, with lots of grounds. That's pretty normal for the villain set. At least, those that can afford it, and especially a splicer like Mister Lizard allegedly was."

“According to the public record, it’s a six bedroom and four bath three story house with an unfinished basement. It has a glassed-in conservatory out the back, a spacious three car garage, two offices, formal dining room, a kitchen with pantry and is set on ten acres with a lake view of Lake Superior. The land is heavily wooded and the property includes one small island with a fishing hut on the lake, not quite an acre in addition to the main grounds. There are two boat docks, one at the main house and one on the island.”

“Sounds pretty darn ritzy.” Carl said.

“Yeah, but that’s the public record and nearly fifty years old. Who knows what isn’t on record about the property details.”

"And that would still not account for what a black cape might have put into a house under the heading of ‘security’." Carl nodded. "Makes sense you'd want someone to go through it. Not Exactly Doctor Evil's lair, though."

"And you're wanting us to help you go through it.” Ryan asked. “I take it you also want to go with us?"

“Yes. I need to photograph and inspect the property, to determine a need for renovations, repairs and any disclosures so that we can sell it. The property just got out of probate, and my boss is excited to get it listed. Mister Lizard’s cousin from South America was technically the owner till he passed, but never came to the United States much less gone to the property.”

"Right, well we don't have anything major planned for the next few weeks.” The darker haired man said. “We can research him on the way to the house. I'm sure others have gone into the house, so it can't be too heavily trapped, so I think we could do this one without much prep."

You are the experts. Do you have anything for me to sign stating that I am allowing you to film the property?”

"Yeah, I'll get that for ya." The redhead said, her voice melodic and surprisingly seasoned with a bit of Georgia in her accent. She rose and moved gracefully to a desk and printer, starting it to working, spitting out disclosures.

"Like I said, we can do research on the way. I’m guessing the house isn’t here in Green Bay?”

“No, a small town called Cornucopia. Well, outside the town. It’s on the opposite side of the state.”

“Right. We have an RV so we can set-up on site. If it’s simple, we may be in and out in a day, but if there’s any complications, or anything interesting in general, we may take a break here and there, to rest up." Ryan explained.

I really, really hope it’s simple. You remember GameMaker? That Saw inspired tech brain who got killed by Dark Paladin?”

"Yeah, we actually did a deep dive on him in our second channel. There's absolutely no one who disagreed with the Coast Guard practicing gunnery on that maniac's lair when it was located. That guy defined red cape."

“Yeah, well as it turns out his secret identity was William Tate. I found that out the hard way when I was inspecting what turned out to be his home and fell into one of his traps. I got lucky, I managed to get my purse in the gears powering the machine, and they weren’t as robust after several years of neglect, so it stopped about 6 inches from making the pit too small for me to be in. It took the fire department four hours to get me out, so I am not taking any risks with a black cape properly.”

"You have to respect someone who learns from past mistakes." The red head admitted, setting the paperwork down in front of her. "Though that sounded more like just plain bad luck."

“Just about the worst.” Ryan agreed. "Even most black capes aren't quite as bad as that guy was. Sure, there's booby traps aplenty with their lairs, but they usually aim to catch their intruders. They want to know why they are getting intruded on after all. They like to think all their secrets are safe." Ryan noted. "Not necessarily comforting, but true."

“Bad luck or not, I’m not going to walk blind into a black cape house alone or unprepared. I still have issues with claustrophobia because of that damn hole.”

"Hey, I don't blame you." Carl said. “Sounds like it was pretty horrible.”

"We'll need to put gear together and get the RV ready to travel. Carl, your wife still has the autoloom thing set up to make basic stuff, right?"

“Yeah, but she wants me to email her before I use it so it doesn’t default to plaid again. She’s still a little miffed about that.”

"I don’t think I can blame her, it was ugly.” Ryan chuckled. “So, can you send us your sizes so we can get a suit made up for you?"

“A suit? You mean like a supersuit?” She asked, surprised.