I think I’ve said this before but I was losing track of time.

Snowplow and me where getting to know each other better and sometimes we had our differences. It got angry at me when I went to the bathroom, which was almost every day, and I got angry at it the only time it ever shed its skin.

Things with Sigyn were looking up, she always beat the crap out of me when she visited but we were starting to get to know each other better. For instance she hated bowls, she enjoyed being a bartender and she wanted to have more kids.

I understood that last one due to the fact that her last kids were used as restraints for her husband who was now taking care of my trees… or so I hoped.

She decided to untie my hands after some time, I felt this was an emotional success. I was still a prisoner but I could use my hands now.

Snowplow and I tried to make the cellar a more habitable living space, we moved Hog’s bones to the corner and did a little mound of bones that looked like a nice statue.

We tried our best to clean the floor, but there is just so much you can do being tied by your feet. I started exercising my body every day, some crunches here, some pushups there. I was hoping Sigyn would notice.

But one day I was greeted by Sigyn followed by another man, no doubt another person believing themselves to be an adventurer.

“Kami, I have some new friends for you!” came the voice of my beautiful goddess.

“Oh mistress, what wonderful news!” I answered feeling exactly the opposite, whoever had come in to the cellar would be fighting for her affection just like me. I looked towards the newcomer and saw he was actually a good looking man. This made me unhappier.

I sneered his way “This is my corner, and the snake is my friend. Come close to me and I will fuck you up!” my eyes flashed in anger. I might be a farmer but I grew up with one of the strongest magicians in the world, almost nothing fazed me.

The newcomer spit my way and I let it fly by next to me, stupid adventurers.

“Now behave Kami, we can’t have you soiling my new playthings.” I nodded like a brainwashed child towards my goddess and removed myself farther from the new prisoner. The goddess left without even whipping me and I knew I had displeased her.

“Who the fuck are you?” I asked the newcomer.

“Look you swiveling piece of cow dung, I have no words for you or your kind.”

My kind… My kind!!?

“What do you mean by my kind, you poor excuse for an adventurer? I’ve been living in this cellar for what I hope is less than a year and you will treat me with due respect!” After uttering those words, what was left of my sanity made me realize the stupidity of my words.

“You are a prisoner of the wife of Loki, you have succumbed to her advances and now you can’t even think straight!”

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The good looking man before me was tied by his hands and feet, just like I was when I was brought in for the first time. My trusty snake was next to me defending my honor as I mulled over the words from the adventurer.

“I have no idea what you are talking about!” I answered slightly less unsure of myself.

“Like I said slave, you can’t even see you’ve been played by a God, and yet you stand there insulting one who is trying to save you!”

Trying to save me? What was this deranged man trying to say? He continued with his belittlement of my person.

“There are only a handful of olive farmers in the world, and all of them have to be mentally retarded”

I took offense to this remark and answered in kind.

“What do you mean mentally retarded, last time I looked you are the first adventurer to be caught by my beautiful goddess, I was having the time of my life before you came into this cellar. Isn’t that right Snowplow?” Snowplow hissed in accord.

The newcomer to my recently cleaned cellar shook his head in resignation. “Don’t you understand Farmer, you have been PLAYED!”

How could this man know I was a farmer? I was getting tired of all this new revelations and moved even deeper in to my cellar. Was something really happening to me? I had no idea but I wanted to find out. I looked at the adventurer before me and I saw a man whose age showed in his eyes. He was lying against the wall and I decided to come closer, I wanted to know how long I’d been under the ground.

“So if you are not here for the Goddess, would you mind telling me how long I’ve been underground?” the strong looking individual lifted his eyes from the floor and answered.

“We have no idea how long you’ve been in this cellar but right now the trees are beginning to dry and brown leaves scatter on the streets of Fincas Nosu.” Autumn. Almost a year I’d been here, Hog had died, and now I had a visitor opening my eyes to things I would rather not know.

“Why am I played?” I asked unsure.

“Don’t you understand farmer, to recreate the mountain and bring back Jesus all adventurers in the land need those god forsaken olive branches! Your field was the last one until you were captured by Loki and his wife!”

I looked towards the snake and it acted like it hadn’t understood. Was my best friend playing me too?

“Snowplow is this true?” I asked the snake

It hissed loudly. I noticed it was lying.

“Snowplow how could you, you piss of shit!” The snake hissed again but a little less loud.

“What do you mean you didn’t mean too!!? You told me I would be able to fuck her!” I was losing it and the newcomers face reminded me that he thought so too.

I grabbed my head and screamed like I hadn’t screamed since those times studying with my father and sister. I was angry as all hell and there was nothing stopping what would happen next.

To trust someone was really hard for me, but I trusted Snowplow and it had just confirmed what the adventurer was saying, to say I was sad was an understatement I was pissed.

My Goddess hearing the commotion came down to the cellar. “What is going on here boys? Playing nice?” She was still in her voluptuous blonde form, it had been some time since I’d seen it.

“You played me Sigyn! I thought we were on to something!” I cried more hurt than angry. The scars on my back stung not from the pain but from the truth that the newcomer had revealed. Snowplow was at the farthest corner of the cellar validating the newcomer’s words, ashamed of himself probably.

“What do you mean sweetheart? The most fun I’ve ever had with a human was with you!” tears fell from my goddess’ eyes and for a second I actually believed her. Just like the snake, she had played me.

I had become immune to the snakes bite but not to a woman’s love.

The newcomer looked my way with a sorrowful expression and I with my eyes I told him to move.

I did something I hadn’t done in a long time. I called upon fire and it remembered me. I silently said goodbye to Snowplow and uttered one word.

“Burn.”

And burn it did.