“When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.” D.W. (Time and place unknown)

Now a days we have Piotr and his mother wanting to be adventurers, with Gods roaming around and screwing everything up what is a small time farmer to do when they come knocking at your door with axes and shit? Tell me? I have manure up to my knees and my trees are barely hanging on for dear life and this three meter tall asshole with a grudge is trying to buy food from me. “Look man! I would gladly give you some olives, but like I said before… THEY ARE NOT YET READY TO BE HARVESTED!!”

The giant looked at me like he couldn’t understand what I was saying, I swear the taller they are the dumber they look.

“No, YOU look! Small man! Give me some olives!” For the record this is the fourth time we’ve had this conversation, and for the other record, I am not small, this guy is just huge.

I’m not sure if he has difficulty speaking but all his sentences end with him screaming. I’m too tired and too full of shit, not figuratively, but literally, to be talking to this disgrace of human intellect. Shit, I’m not even sure it’s a human, for all I know it could be one of the Gods screwing around acting stupid for his own amusement or one of those Tauren things the lady with the big tits at the bar was talking about last night.

“You know what, just take a fucking tree, lots of olives on those.”

The big man, God, Tauren, thing stepped around me grabbed one of my olive trees by the trunk and uprooted it from the ground. What a dumbass. I stood there looking at the man walk towards his group of adventurers dragging my beautiful tree on the ground and just shook my head. Why in the name of Saturn did the magicians bring the Gods back down? Everything was so nice without them.

I made my way back to what I used to call a home, now it’s more like the reception area for greedy, stupid, sometimes good looking adventurers who are making their way to Minas Nosu in the search for the resting place of a long dead God called Jesus.

I know right… what a shitty name for a God, at least the guy that’s always fucking up my fields has a cool name, I heard the woman with the big tits at the bar call him Loki.

I still think he is an asshole.

I used to be the most prosperous farmer in Fincas Nosu until some smart ass magician and his friends decided to get drunk one night and bring upon the apocalypse again. I tell you too much money addles the brain, and magicians are the worst of them. My dad was a magician, you should have seen his face when I told him I was becoming a farmer. I still fall asleep with a smile thinking about it. My sister ended up getting all his wealth, as you’ve probably guessed, she’s a magician. It wouldn’t surprise me if the bitch was one of the assholes that opened the gateway for the Gods, she was always stupid like that.

As I looked from a top what used to be my lovely home to see the state of my olive trees, what used to be 100 acres of beautiful planted olives was now, 100 acres of patches with some olive trees and some olives strewn over the untilled ground. I still had a lot of trees but the disturbances on the soil made by the travelers and Loki had put a lot of stress on the tree's roots and some of them were dying.

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Every morning I tried my best to water them and give them the proper care needed to have ten year old trees still be fruitful, but current affairs made it impossible for me to give them the love they needed to grow. The pigs were not happy either. From on top of my house I yelled down at the line of annoying adventurers “The shop is closed! Go home or somewhere else! Good luck finding Jesus!”

“But Farmer, we need the olives to recreate the mountain that will bring back Jesus! How can you leave the quest unfinished?” a belligerent child yelled from under her mother’s robe wanting access to my fields.

I don't really like kids, specially kids with initiative. I turned around to look at the gathered people and answered the small kid.

“Look, I don’t care about finding Jesus, or his mountain, or your needs. This is my field and unless you want problems you better leave!” The on looking crowd looked at each other smelling the blood of a weaker opponent and made their way towards my house. I tell you adventurers are stupid.

At that moment I yelled for the animal that had been living with me for the last month or so “Shadow!!!” from behind my house my over grown wolf came out to greet the travelers.

They say animals always have the same personality of their owners, and believe me my wolf was an asshole. Greetings were fairly quick with Shadow around and the adventurers found something else to occupy their minds with very soon.

“Good boy!” I told my wolf as I reached up and patted his head.

You probably didn’t know but wolfs are good for helping trees grows and water flow, I’m not sure it applies to giant wolfs but I’ve had him for a very short time. We’ll see what happens.

Shadow leaned against me and pushed me to the ground. “Get off me you humongous oaf, the only thing saving you from getting your ass kicked is that Loki left you. Next time I see him I will file a complaint and give you back!”

The giant wolf got scared and stood up quickly, I guess he liked Loki less than I did.

I walked Shadow to the back of the house and as expected I saw the corpse of the giant fellow that had been bothering me for olives moments before. I told him I couldn’t give him any olives, but he wouldn’t listen. The old olive tree he had uprooted was there next to him. I felt really sad for my tree, it had taken me ten years of nurturing and using the best fertilizers containing the necessary nutrients to give it a full crown of leaves, very tasty olives and a good life and just because this dumb adventurer at my feet felt the need to take the olives he was now Shadows plaything.

I guess his companions left him when the giant wolf found them, I’d have run too. I gave the wolf another pat on the head and let him play with his new pile of bones.

The adventurers had pillaged my fields before Loki arrived, this last ones were arriving from the south, all the way from Minami. I guess word hadn’t reached them that Loki had laid claim to my field and had left a giant wolf to guard it. At first I was scared shitless but Shadow had been nothing but a gentleman to the trees, Loki on the other hand was an asshole.

I wasn’t sure if I liked Loki, but I did like the wolf.

Tonight I would go back down to the bar and hopefully the woman with big tits would have more news about what was happening in the world, if she didn’t have any news it didn’t really matter, I’d be talking with the woman with big tits. I should ask her name.

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