It had been a while since I’d been imprisoned by Loki’s wife and it sure felt worse being imprisoned under a castle without the expectation of a sexy goddess coming to torture you from time to time. So I was surprised and happy when I saw Cora being shoved into the cell with me.

“Helloooo…” I said to my clearly unhappy guest.

“You sorry excuse of a human…. Why did you have to go and tell my husband you fucked me!!?” She wailed at me from the corner of the cell. I was glad she hadn’t approached me, from what I’d heard she was a formidable fighter. I shrugged my shoulders, like I usually do.

“He acted like an asshole.” I answered in response.

“He has the right to be an asshole, he is the fucking king!” she said as she punched the wall.

“You shouldn’t hit walls, they usually win after a while.”

The seething woman came running up to me and punched me in the face “Shut up!!!” she slumped to the floor and closed her eyes as she breathed heavily.

I clearly deserved that. “I’m sorry Cora, but what are you doing in my cell?”

She rolled her eyes at me “What do you think dumbass?” I pondered for a second and gave my best guess “I imagine it has something to do with having fucked you?”

The woman looked at me with scorn “You think?” I sat down next to her without fear of being punched. I was really bad at telling the mood of people around me, but I had a feeling that she needed comforting. I started patting her head like I used to do with Shadow when Loki left after a visit.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Cora asked me, I ignored her and kept patting her head. I guess she gave up on being angry at me because she nuzzled into my arm. “You are still a dumbass.” She said as she closed her eyes.

I gave her a small kiss on the forehead and replied “I know.”

I was expecting we would have sex that night, but clearly women don’t find cellar floors attractive because I got nothing, what I did get was an explanation.

“After you were sent to the dungeons Samuela and I were taken to the King along with some others. Your sister was there, I hate that bitch.”

I nodded because I understood her.

“She mocked us for believing that you are the answer to liberate us from the gods.”

I nodded because for the first time my sister and I agreed with something.

“Salim is planning a strategy with Prometheus and some other gods to fight once the war starts. Belief in the scriptures is at an all-time low, and even our messenger gods agree with the King’s plan. We have at least some powerful deities among us and a fight seems inevitable.”

I nodded because I really didn’t care, I tried putting my hand around her waist but she pushed it back.

“Are you even listening dumbass?”

I nodded because I thought it was appropriate.

“After the meeting Salim noticed me and divorced me on the spot, now that all has gone to hell there is no need for legal procedures.”

I shook my head. “My father would not agree with that.” Cora smirked at me.

“He didn’t, but then Salim told your father what you told him and he agreed with the King.”

I nodded because that made sense.

“So I was brought down here to keep you company. They won’t kill me because they need my skills for the upcoming fight.”

I put my hand around her waist to let her know I understood.

“Kami what the hell are you doing?” I gave her my best dumbfounded look. “I am trying to console you!”

She hesitated for a second “Are you sure you are not trying to get into my pants?”

I hesitated… a big mistake. Luckily for me, sounds came from the door to the dungeon and both of us put our heads against the bars that imprisoned us.

Cora yelled “Let us out! We are here to help you.” In front of us were the King, Samuela, Drógar and a group of four people.

The King spoke to us “Hello Kami, how’s my ex-wife treating you?” I looked over at Cora

“Not as nicely as I would have wanted, actually.” Cora slapped my head and started yelling at me.

“Quite!!” yelled the king. “You still don’t know how to read the mood do you Kami?” I shrugged at his question. He kept on talking. “Anyways, the four people you see before us are part of the other party with a farmer. The others you already know.”

I looked over at Samuela and Drógar and gave them a small nod.

The King introduced the others, I had only eyes for the man they called a Farmer.

“The one with the big backpack is Sunder, he is the other olive farmer still alive, or so the gods tell us.”

The farmer called Sunder came close to the bars “Hello famer, I’ve been told you lost your last olive.” I grimaced at his words.

“Loki, took it from me.” He shook his head at my response. “How could you be so careless!? A true farmer takes care of his crops!”

I didn’t understand why I was getting berated by the farmer. “What is it to you that I lost my olive?! From what I hear you have plenty more. I could help you!” I begged from the confines of my cell. The others watched us with curiosity.

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“It is unpardonable at this moment in time to lose that which could save us!” Sunder replied back.

I looked for words to answer back “I tell you Sunder, we were attacked by gods and we were a small party, mostly women!” The farmer seemed displeased at my response. “You are the type of farmer I hate the most.” He said with disdain “You only give excuses for your short comings, your fields were doomed to die with a farmer like you around.”

I felt my hope disappear at the words and anger rose to fill the void.

He looked towards the King and said “He is useless, I cannot trust him.”

I called upon fire and felt it rush through my veins, something that felt natural in my previous life now felt foreign and exciting. I let my anger guide me and I grabbed the metal rods that confined us and melted them away, my body was aflame once again.

I am not sure if there was shouting, and I am pretty sure there was fighting because I have a big bruise on my temple, but when I came around the charred body of Sunder was dust on the ground. I could only hear muted sounds until Samuela touched me.

“What have you done Kami!!” again the most angelic voice in the world reverberated inside my head. “You have killed the last farmer in the world other than you!! Everyone is restraining the farmer’s companions from killing you, why have you done this?!!!.....You retarded piece of shit.”

Hearing the princess call me a piece of shit brought me back to my senses. I could see the farmer’s partners trying their best to get to me but Drógar and Salim kept them at bay, Cora was next to them without a weapon.

I felt anger still within me and seeing Cora defenseless and Samuela in the verge of tears I did the only thing I knew how to do other than farming… I burned the shit out of the farmer’s companions.

The dungeon was now filled with the dusty remains of four people and the smell was really unbearable, not that it was nice to begin with.

“Goddam it Kami!!! Why did you go and kill the other farmer!!” Salim screamed at me from the crispy remains of his former assailants.

I looked at my old friend and told him truthfully without my usual ignorance “Now you can’t kill me.”

I stepped through them and I heard them yell at my back “What if the farmer had the olives on him”

Shiiiiittttt! I hadn’t taken that into consideration, but wanting to keep my aura of awesomeness I turned around and answered “Not my problem.”

I felt good with myself and I kept walking to the door of the dungeon, I had no idea where I was going but I kept walking forward, that is until I felt people beating me unconscious, before I passed out I saw Salim, Drógar, Cora and Samuela kicking the shit out of me.

So much for being the last farmer alive.

When I came back to my senses, I saw that I was no longer in the dungeon but in a plush bed, sadly there was not a woman beside me. I tried to stand up but I was chained to the bed.

“The fiend is awake!” a small child yelled next to me. I didn’t like children. Before I could berate the little kid for yelling I was interrupted by my father. He walked to the bed as I watched him and stood before me with his solemn face.

“Kami, why do you do this to me?” my father asked me.

I laid down with my chained hands and wanting to keep the feelings that I felt in the dungeon I told him

“Why do you even try to constrain me? You know I can escape whenever I want.”

My father shook his head and sat on the bed next to me “And what good will that do, Kami? How many times will you try to escape your calling? Didn’t you learn patience from being a famer? Will you try to kill us all?”

I was losing my awesome feelings with each question and I couldn’t understand why I was in the wrong in all of this.

“What do you mean escape my calling!? I never asked to defend this world, I wanted to fuck around and live my life, I had no choice but to leave and become a farmer!”

My father shook his head losing his patience, he yelled at me “And then what happened!? The world went to shit and now the only person that can save us is a farmer!! Don’t you see!?” He threw his hands in the air.

I couldn’t see what he was seeing. I shook my head.

“No matter what you become or what you believe you are, son, your destiny is written! That is why now, even if you decided that your powers wouldn’t be used to save this world, now your farming skills will!! We do not decide what we become! We can only decide how we approach it!!”

I was out of awesome feelings by now and I turned to look the other way so my father couldn’t see me.

“Is it wrong to want something different?”

My father sighed “Why can’t you do both?”

I turned to face my father and I think I saw tears in his eyes, if they were there I had no chance to figure it out, at that moment he changed his demeanor again to the one I remembered all of my life.

“I trained you Kami, as I trained your sister, she did her part marrying the King. Now it is your turn to do yours. Tonight we will be gathering at the council and you are summoned, and don’t think we haven’t taken measures to control you. Your old fire master will be with us.”

My father stood up and left me chained in the bed. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t find the right words so I stayed quite.

If Edna would be at the council she would be able to stop me. Before I was dimmed to be the savior of the world and housed in Azuma, she had been regarded as the strongest mage in the land, fire mages were counted with both hands and she and I were at the top of the list.

I sighed and let my body relax trying to find sleep that wouldn’t come, thankfully Drógar stepped into the room.

“How is our little fire cracker doing?” the rouge asked me as I feigned sleep.

“Wake up Kami, I can tell from your breathing you are awake! I want to talk to you about the redhead!”

I opened one of my eyes and watched him suspiciously. “What redhead?”

“Ha! I knew you were awake!” he said sitting down where my father had been moments before. “What do you mean, what redhead!? The fire mage dumbass, is she single, do you know anything about her.”

Funny how you start thinking of someone and people start talking about them.

I looked at Drógar and remembered the first time I saw him in the cellar with Sigyn, he was strong, good looking and had the straightest nose you’d ever seen on a human, his black hair was tied in a ponytail and his mischievous eyes spoke of adventures.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

I shook away the thoughts from my head “I don’t like men!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Forget about it, the redhead is off limits.” The rogue looked at me displeased. “Man! You already have the blonde and the brunette, why the hell do you need a redhead!?”

“What brunette?” I asked sincerely

Drógar shook his head as if talking to a small child “Salim is right, you really suck at reading people.” I gave him the finger and he laughed.

“So what about the redhead?”

I tried to remember my past, as I laid chained to the bed and told him what I remembered from my former master.

“She is older than you and I, by about five years. She hates dumb people, especially those that do it on purpose, she likes gambling and hates losing.” Drógar granted me a smile at that information.

I decided save him some pain.

“Don’t even think about cheating her, she will probably cut your balls off, why do you think I don’t play Haven Stone? Anyways she is strong as well, probably stronger than me, now that I haven’t practiced in eleven years. From what I remember she liked women, so if you are not hiding a slit under your pants, your chances have been lowered considerably.”

He took the information in stride and gave me a small pat on the arm “Sadly, I don’t have a slit under my pants, but boy does that woman make a man think about becoming dickless just to taste her.”

I nodded in confirmation, I hadn’t seen Edna in eleven years but if she looked anything like she did when she trained me I would probably cut my dick off too.

As Drógar left my room he told me a piece of information that made me really happy.

“By the way, the olives are save, Sarah had them.” Before he could leave I yelled “Who the fuck is Sarah?”

“The deaf woman.” He closed the door and left me to my thoughts.

A deaf woman? I hadn’t met a deaf woman yet, I knew a blind one and a mute, but not a deaf. I fell asleep thinking about blondes, brunettes, redheads, mutes, deaf and blind women.

I hoped they liked hairless men.