I woke up earlier than needed to visit the woman with big tits and green eyes, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

My trees were probably feeling the cold just as I was and I needed to cover them with thin sheets of paper so the frost of winter didn’t gather on their branches and ruined my tasty olives.

I saw Shadow digging holes around the 100 acres of land and yelled at the wolf to help me. Trying to put sheets of paper on top of trees is not easy especially when said trees are ten feet tall.

The wolf came obediently and I stood on its back as we made our way through all the olive fields. Making the rounds I could see that some of my favorite trees had died because of the adventurers but since the arrival of the god named Loki the death had diminished considerably.

Mind you not because of the god but because of the wolf.

About to finish the chores that every famer has and as the sun rose from behind the snow peaked mountains that gave character to this region of the world a faint sound alerted me of an unwanted visitor.

“Ku Kuuuuuuu!” I heard from on top of Shadow.

The wolf became frantic with the sound and started galloping towards the house.

“Ku Kuuuuuuuuu!” came the sound again but ten times louder.

Now the wolf was going all out and I was holding for dear life. “Shadow, stop it you stupid animal!” I shouted without success, the animal howled as the light shone on a figure waiting at the door of my home.

“Uuuuu, hello there puny mortaaaal!” the figure of the god who had given me some kind of peace was greeting me with effeminate voice.

“What do you want Loki, I have no time for you, I have date with the woman with big tits in town.”

Loki gave a girlish laugh “Woman, big tits, town? How interesting!!” he gave a small jump in the air and patted Shadow on the shoulder. The huge wolf shivered at the touch. I looked at the God straight in the eyes and I could see he was enjoying this. I couldn’t help but shiver too if Loki ever touched me.

I jumped from Shadows and spanked him hard enough for him to understand he was dismissed, Loki might be his owner but I was his boss. I started making my way towards the entrance of my home and the god started circling me.

“So tell me little mortal, what are you planning on doing with the woman today?” I ignored him, he usually left if I ignored him.

“Ignoring me won’t help little Kami, if you don’t answer I will most likely tear down all the hard work you did today” this stopped me in my tracks.

“I don’t mind you bothering me god, but touch my trees and you and I will have a problem.” Loki smiled big when I said this.

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“So you like big tits and trees do you puny mortal…” his voiced changed in that instance from the girly voice he was using before to something more slithery and threatening “threaten me again and you won’t have eyes to look at them, now tell me what are you doing with that woman today?!”

I was sure that if I didn’t answer the future of my eyes was up in the air, so leaving my pride at the door I turned around with my most winning smile.

“I was hoping to probably get her naked and enjoy the company of the most beautiful woman in town, there has been an influx of beauties lately but they just want me for my olives, I think this one is different.”

Loki changed demeanor again and became the effeminate figure I had become accustomed to. “Very interesting, but just a word of caution Farmer, most roses have thorns and not all olives are green.”

I looked around at Loki and marveled at his height “What the fuck does that even mean?”

For some reason I had never looked at him properly and usually Shadow was close to me and next to him both of us were tiny.

“What I said mortal that is what I mean!” he turned and disappeared with a laugh that the most discerning among us mortals would categorize as evil.

I went into my room to wash my self and from the little slit on the stone I could see Shadow cowering under the shadow of the house, I wanted to let the wolf know I understood him, but I had a date with a beautiful woman and I was not going to let a god scare the shit out of me, I might let a god shake the milk out of me but that would be my limit.

As I approached the town Loki’s words bounced inside my head, not all olives are green, well of course they aren’t, stupid god. I knew I was missing something important but fate awaited me in the arms of my green eyed woman and fate cannot be kept waiting.

I opened the door to Hog’s Inn and as usual I found it full of drunken adventurers that before all this shit went down would be considered drunk carpenters, masons or cooks and behind the bar the woman of my dreams.

I tried my best to act nonchalant but like I said we didn’t speak much in my town before the Gods got here “So where were we big tits?”

Fuuuuccckkkkk!

I have no idea to what god I have to thank but she just giggled and replied “You tell me Farmer?”

I found it strange that she would call me farmer, the only one who did that was Loki but then again I was a farmer.

“If I recall correctly we were going to get to know each other better.”

The sultry woman looked me up and down, I hadn’t noticed how tall she was either. She moved her head to the side telling me to follow her, and I gladly acquiesced as we made our way to the cellar of the Inn.

My mind kicked into high gear and I felt a sense of foreboding I hadn’t felt before, the woman’s hair began to turn black from the golden brown that was there before, her green eyes turned black, and the most egregious offense of all her tits began to shrink.

I looked at the scene before me and I could see Hog hanging from some chains having lost a couple of hundred pounds. I wasn’t sure if he looked better but the chains weren’t helping my decision.

I turned to look at the woman with small tits and genuinely asked “Would you care to explain why Hog is tied down in chains, and why you decided to change to this extremely sexy but decidedly less voluptuous figure?”

By now I had realized I was dealing with a goddess so I bowed a little to see if that would help my case.

“You are a funny man, Farmer, the Innkeeper here thought he could have me too, but I love seeing the despair in men’s eyes when they figure out they can’t have THIS” she dramatically pointed at her body.

In my mind I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be finding out her name anytime soon, on the bright side now I understood what Loki was trying to tell me, on a darker note I didn’t know if I was angry at being deceived or at the fact that her real tits where smaller.