Dragunova’s transport arrived only a few minutes after making contact. It was a peculiar machine that looked like a giant tube with two massive propellers that she called a ‘cargo helicopter.’ It landed amidst the desolate wasteland while kicking up a whirl of wind and dust. A ramp lowered from the rear end, allowing easy access into its spacious interior. Fizzy pushed the cart carrying Orrin and Tony - who were still quiet and unconscious, respectively - on board and strapped them down to the floor with a series of belts. She situated herself in one of the seats on the wall and did the same. The golem got some unpleasant flashbacks to getting loaded into a griffin-mounted container alongside Boxxy, but she didn’t complain.
The helicopter took off in short order. Fizzy wanted to take in the view, but the machine had no windows or ports that she could see through. Then again, such things would be out of place. The vehicle’s bare-bones interior was optimized for maximum carrying capacity with no regard for comfort. It practically screamed ‘military.’ On the upside, the lack of distractions meant the Paladin could focus on keeping the meatbags alive. After sporadically chanting Cleanse and Holy Light for about ten minutes, Orrin finally seemed to snap out of whatever stupor he was in and joined in the healing.
“Took you long enough,” Fizzy pouted. “This kind of stuff really isn’t my strong suit, you know.”
“Apologies, my friend. In my weakened state, I gave into doubt and allowed despair to take root. I’ve been a fool, and I ask for your forgiveness.”
Orrin had mistakenly assumed that his inability to purge this affliction was his fault. He believed his powers were failing him, which in turn actually dulled his magic. Faith was a fickle thing like that. He surely would have died if not for Fizzy. Her magic kept his body from falling apart, but it was her persistence that restored the giant’s will to live. He watched her struggle to push that heavy cart, her mithril frame heating up until it started glowing in the dark. How she managed to do that and continue to chant Spells was a mystery to him, but it was clear she was doing everything within her power to ensure the survival of those in her care. In a strange way, it reminded the Priest that he had people relying on him too. Young ones who needed guidance, lost souls who sought shelter, and old folks bereft of hope. It was for their sake more than his own that Orrin found his resolve, and swore to himself to return home no matter what.
“There’s no need for that,” Fizzy flatly told him. “I’ve been there.”
“Where?”
“Rock bottom, stuck in a hopeless predicament with seemingly no way out. By all accounts I should have died ten times over.”
“But you didn’t,” Tony stirred awake. “You took all de punches, and you came out stronger. Better.”
“Damn right, I did.”
“Hee, hee, hee. See, dat’s why I respect you, unlike dis big softie. He don’t know what it’s like to starve. To struggle. To suffer.”
“Hey, now,” the giant protested. “I may not have led the most exciting life, but I’ve faced my fair share of danger.”
“Is not enough. Is never enough.”
“I vehemently disagree.”
“And dat is why you’ll always be weak,” the hob smirked. “Because you run from pain. I welcome it. It is an old friend.”
“Uh… Okay?”
Fizzy noticed the weird look Orrin was giving and decided to step in.
“He means that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
“Oh! Dat’s a good one! But yes. Many things have failed to kill me. Including her.”
“Excuse me?! I mopped the floor with you!”
“But I am still alive, no?”
“He does have a point,” Orrin leaned over.
“Yeah, well… You sure talk tough for someone who was babbling like a baby when I found you.”
“Bah. Shows what you know,” he waved his hand dismissively. “I was just deep in de voodoo.”
“You what?”
“Come to think of it,” the Priest stroked his now bald chin, “he did mention something about a ritual or some such once things got bad.”
Indeed, it wasn’t madness that had claimed the Shaman. He was merely in a trance as he drew upon the magic around him to sustain and preserve his failing flesh. His mind was somewhere else entirely, leaving him unaware of his surroundings. That was why it took him so long to wake up after Fizzy clocked him unconscious. That also meant he was a bit clueless as to his current situation.
“So is anyone gon’ tell me what we doin’ in dis shaky iron box?”
The golem quickly brought Tony up to speed on the meeting with Ms. Dragunova and her offer.
“-and with a bit of luck she’ll be able to send all of us home.”
“Just like dat?”
“Obviously not. I don’t know for sure if she can do it, and I expect she’ll want something in return, but it’s preferable to hoping I get lucky with that Astral Nail thing.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
“My hope is she does not mind questions,” Orrin spoke up, “for I have quite a few of them myself.”
He would not have to wait much longer to ask them, either. The helicopter landed with a soft thud several minutes later. The meatbags’ condition had stabilized by then, meaning it hadn’t exactly improved, but it hadn’t gotten worse either. They were, at the very least, strong enough to walk. Upon exiting the helicopter they found themselves on a large rectangular platform with quite the view. They were standing near the top of an enormous tower of steel and concrete. It was surrounded on all sides by a sprawling industrial complex that was so vast it could very well be called Dragunov 2.0. Churning factories everywhere, automatons darting back and forth, and an intricate network of pipes and conveyor belts carrying materials and products in varying stages of completion. All of this was brilliantly illuminated up by countless lights that left not a single dark spot despite it being the middle of the night still.
To say that Ekaterina had been busy was an understatement. Fizzy expected her to have a base or outpost, not an actual settlement. It even had roads and tracks leading out of it and into the surrounding wilderness, implying there was more to the Original Artificer’s lunar empire than this industrial hub. And as if that wasn’t enough, the otherworlder was continuing to expand her operations. Fizzy could clearly see several construction sites from her vantage point, though one stood out in particular for several reasons. The first was its scope. Whatever was being built was perhaps even larger than the weather machine back in Dragunov, and definitely larger than the central tower the helicopter had landed on. The second was the site itself, as construction was taking place inside a deep circular hole that was most likely excavated for this exact purpose. Actually, ‘construction’ wasn’t exactly right. ‘Assembly’ seemed like a more fitting word. Fizzy’s Artificer experience and above-average eyesight told her that the half-finished tower-like thing wasn’t intended to be a building. There were a lot of pipes and tanks that the golem suspected were intended to hold fuel. The highly volatile kind.
“Good evening, madam.”
The golem didn’t get to gawk at the curious superstructure for long before a synthesized male voice called out to her. It belonged to a human-shaped automaton that rolled around on a tri-wheeled platform. It was obviously designed to look, act, and sound like a stereotypical butler.
“Mistress Dragunova has requested that I escort you and your companions to the decontamination chambers.”
It even had a posh elvish accent.
“Decontamination? What’s that?” Orrin questioned.
“Right this way, please.”
The machine completely ignored the giant as it turned around and went into a doorway at the edge of a platform.
“Well, that was rude,” he grumbled.
“It’s just an elaborate doll, you big baby. Now come on.”
“Dis decon-whatever thing better be tasty. I could eat a troll.”
The group followed as instructed. The door led into the tower’s interior, which looked a lot nicer than the helicopter’s. Carpeting, paintings, and sculptures aplenty, though the subject matters were quite abstract. It was difficult for these simple minds to find any appeal or meaning in them. The only one that caught their eye was a framed blank canvas with what appeared to be an iron banana nailed to it. The robo-butler then guided the guests into an elevator that was just barely large enough for Orrin to squeeze into. After an uncomfortably long ride down, the group got out into some kind of transportation hub. There were eight armored vehicles parked alongside the walls, with empty spaces for three times as many and a number of tunnels leading to the outside. It all reeked of exhaust fumes and rubber.
In a corner of this space were a series of glass rooms with pipes, drains, and machinery along the outside. Each guest was instructed to enter one of these and to remain there until the procedure was finished. Said procedure consisted of being aggressively sprayed with some weird chemical for precisely ninety seconds straight. Whatever that stuff was evaporated quite rapidly, leaving the group more or less dry within moments of exiting the chambers. More importantly, cleansing the mystox affliction afterwards seemed to work for good, much to Orrin and Tony’s relief. The mechanical servant then invited them to a banquet hall where their host was waiting for them, with food and drink to boot. The guys were all for it, but the golem insisted they hang on for a bit. Fizzy spotted what looked to be a power-washing station and had the hobgoblin finally rid her of all the dirt, dust, and sludge she’d been tracking since she got to Tascuna. It was only when she was positively sparkling that the group finally went up to meet the Original Artificer face-to-face.
The banquet hall was decorated much like that first hallway. The furnishings consisted of a large table in the middle loaded with plates and pots and surrounded by a few chairs of varying sizes. That buffet was what instantly grabbed Tony’s attention. Orrin’s was directed at the left wall of the room, the entirety of which was taken up by a series of floor-to-ceiling windows that offered him a fantastic view of the first rays of daylight peeking over the horizon. As for Fizzy, her gaze instantly locked onto the figure standing at the other end of that long table. It was another mechanical doll, but this one was painstakingly modelled to match the female human form. A very specific female’s form by the look of it.
She had a stunning and elegant figure wrapped in a tight blue minidress that left her left side almost completely exposed. There clearly wasn’t any underwear involved and the thick fur coat hanging off her shoulders covered nothing aside from her arms. Such an outfit would absolutely be indecent if what lay below was skin and not interlocking black and white polymer plating. The mature face was just as highly detailed, though much smoother and more flexible. It even had eyebrows and hair-like head ornaments styled in a bob-cut that perfectly conveyed a strict no-nonsense attitude. The glowing yellow eyes were just as emotionally evocative despite their clearly artificial nature, and the feeling they seemed to convey at that moment was one of mild annoyance.
“You really should not keep your host waiting.”
The construct spoke in the same voice that Fizzy spoke to earlier, albeit much clearer. Those words also served to capture the guys’ wandering attention.
“I didn’t want to offend by appearing filthy and soiled,” the golem stepped forward. “Miss Dragunova, I presume?”
The automaton crossed her arms and nodded.
“Indeed. Welcome to New Dragunov. And you are?”
“Fizzy Rustblood. An honor to actually meet you, ma’am.”
“Likewise I am sure, Feezy. And please, call me Katya.”
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
The golem flinched at that blatant mispronunciation of her name. Accent or no, that had to have been on purpose. Still, this otherworlder was her best bet at getting off this rock and back to civilization, so she kept her mouth shut. Meanwhile Katya turned to the giant and the hobgoblin, silently asking them the same question.
“Orrin Mildenhall, humble servant of Solus.”
“… Tony.”
“The savage speaks? You have trained eet well, Feezy.”
“I found him like this, actually. Don’t worry about him misbehaving or anything, he’s a shield-serf you see.”
“Ah. That practice ees still alive and well I see. But, let us not delay further. Come, take your seats and enjoy.”
Katya had thoughtfully prepared a reinforced high chair for Fizzy, a large floor cushion for Orrin, and she blatantly didn’t care about the greenskin. The hob felt the same way and just parked himself on the ground behind the giant after he grabbed a bowl of steamy bright-red soup. The Priest went for a fragrant steak of some kind and a bucket-sized bowl of what appeared to be fruit punch. Their host took the seat at the head of the table and, to the golem’s surprise, grabbed a cup of tea and sipped on it. Fizzy felt tempted to give that a try with the identical beverage in front of her, but decided not to. When last she tried to drink something it kept leaking out of her for hours afterwards. She imagined this time would be no different.
Seeing as everyone was more or less comfortable, Katya moved onto the topic at hand.
“So. Why are you on the moon, devochka?” she asked Fizzy.
“Well. Funny story, that.”
Only now did it dawn on the golem that she was there because she had entered this woman’s property without her knowledge or permission, and now had to ask her for favors. She wondered if she should enhance the truth a bit, but decided that honesty would probably work out better for her in the long run.
“You know that Vault you left behind before you disappeared?”
“No. What vault?”
“Oh, right. That’s what we called it. Uhm, I think the message said it wast… Lednik Dva?”
The host’s yellow eyes narrowed.
“What about eet?”
“I, uh, might have… slightly… opened it.”
“How?”
“With a key. The big brass one? The circuitry inside was fried but I managed to fix it.”
“Eef that ees true, then I am impressed. I thought those eediots would take centuries to get up to my level.”
“Oh, no, they’re still struggling to make sense of your stuff. I’m just exceptionally fantastic, you see.”
“Of course, you are. How else could you have figured out how to transfer your mind to an artificial shell when surrounded by those primitives? And meethril at that. A woman of taste as well as talent. I think we will get along, you and I.”
“Uh… Thank you.”
Fizzy judged that now probably wasn’t the right time to reveal that her golemifcation was entirely accidental, and that she actually started as steel and then later upgraded to mithril through a Rank Up. So, she allowed the misunderstanding, accepted the compliment, and then tried to change the subject.
“Anyway, due to a spoiled little shitstain interfering, the three of us got locked inside your facility. We found your Astral Nail experiment while searching for a way out and had to jump into it after we triggered some kind of alarm that we assumed was a… self-destruct sequence.”
“And how did you trigger eet, exactly?”
“Found a big button on the Astral Nail control console. It looked stuck, so I unstuck it, and here we are.”
“Ah. I see. Een that case, I must apologize. When I was moving here, I set up Lednik Dva to detonate after I left for good. I didn’t want anyone following me through. You would not be here eef all had gone to plan.”
“Wait. How could you not notice your dungeon was still intact?”
“I was een a rush. Things were, erm, very heated back then.”
Something about that didn’t add up. If she was the owner of that dungeon core, then it would have notified her of recent events, regardless of distance. Or maybe it did, and Katya was just playing dumb so as to not reveal all her cards. Not that it mattered much at this point.
“Pardon me, madam,” Orrin spoke up, “but does the fact that you intended the place demolished upon your departure mean you had no desire to return?”
“Yes. I still don’t. I hate zat place. Facking politeeks and eco terrorists!” she raised her voice, her accent thickening. “Even in different vhorld I cannot be rid of zem! Yebani suki!”
Katya quickly pulled back, eyes open and hand on her mouth. She took another sip of tea to calm herself, then looked back to the giant.
“Apologies. That brought up some… bad memories.”
“I imagine being the first of anything would make you a controversial figure. But, back to my question, does this mean we are stuck here as well?”
“Not quite. Though I did not intend to return, eet would be stupid to not leave myself the option. Before I left I set up another Astral Nail in another Lednik - another Vault, as you say. This one much more secret.”
“Truly? May we see it?”
“Of course. I will show you around once we are done here.”
Fizzy and Orrin got visibly excited by this news, though perhaps a bit prematurely.
“This does not mean I will allow you to use it.”
Their enthusiasm drowned like a sad puppy at Katya’s blunt words.
“Why not?” the golem questioned.
“I like it here. Ees quiet. I can do my work in peace. If I send you back, ees only a matter of time before more of you show up. I don’t want that. I hate… people.”
“And yet you invited us, cured us, and are now feeding us,” Orrin pointed out. “Not to seem ungrateful, but why did you reach out?”
“I was curious about Feezy here. I would not be myself if I wasn’t intrigued by such a machine. Also, I wanted to make a deal with you. A leetle bit of mutual back-scratching.”
The Paladin looked to the Priest and jerked her head as if to say, ‘you want to handle this?’ He was by far the most diplomatic of the group, and the giant silently agreed to take on this responsibility.
“That entirely depends on what it is you want from us. I can’t imagine-”
“Uh-ah,” Katya wagged her finger. “Negotiations are best done between leaders.”
Orrin was taken aback. He wasn’t sure when and how Fizzy became his ‘leader,’ though it was hard to argue that she’d taken charge of things after their arrival. Seeing as he had no part to play, he just shrugged and went back to his steak.
“Okay. What do you want?”
Katya smiled at the golem’s directness.
“I require a large amount of energy to finish my work. So far I have made due with solar energy and processing plants into biofuel, but ees simply not enough for the last phase. I require access to a new source, which you will secure for me.”
“You keep talking about ‘your work.’ Just what are you doing up here?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I would, yes.”
“Too bad. Ees a secret project.”
“I could help.”
“Get me my power source first, then we will see.”
“But… don’t you already have mystox? I mean, the glowy blue stuff that almost killed the guys.”
“Ah. That ees a failed experiment. Too unstable. Good for nothing except killing part of moon. I tried many times, but nuclear power ees outside my area of expertise. Am only robotics expert with minor in chemistry,” she finished with a shrug.
“That’s a… shame, I guess. Moving on, what kind of power source are you sending us after?”
“Ees a crystal. Big one. Loaded with magic energy that I can convert to electricity. Even have the reactor for it built and ready to go, just need the stone.”
“And why can’t you get it yourself?”
“Two reasons. Gremlins, and magnets.”
Fizzy was about to ask Katya to elaborate, but the otherworlder was a step ahead. She stood up and walked to the wall of windows. She waved her hand and the glass dimmed to pitch black, then showed an illusory image of someone that Fizzy recognized. Sort of.
“This ees a gremlin,” Katya said.
“No… That’s a gnome.”
Or at least the local variety. Though clearly not the same person as either of the two meatbags that tried to ambush the golem, the figure on display undoubtedly belonged to the same civilization or culture. The proportions and facial features were a bit distorted, but the outfit was far too similar for that to not be the case. Fizzy also realized that she had yet to tell the others of that particular encounter, though that could wait until later.
“Not gnome. Gremlin,” the woman insisted.
“I’m afraid I must agree with Fizzy on this,” Orrin weighed in. “That right there is a gnome no matter how I look at it, and I for one am not comfortable with harming innocents.”
“Okay. I admit, maybe they were gnomes once. Or maybe gnomes came from them. Who knows? Not me. What I do know, ees these gremlins are not enlightened. They are savage and violent. They attack my machines on sight for fun. Very disruptive. Worse than goblins.”
“Hey!”
Tony suddenly piped up, drawing everyone’s attention. He really wasn’t listening all that much and just reacted to what sounded like an insult aimed loosely in his direction. He then immediately realized that he probably should’ve just stayed quiet and went back to slurping his soup.
“Control your slave, Feezy. Another outburst like that and I shall have eet muzzled.”
Okay, the hob definitely didn’t like this bitch. She clearly thought she was better than everyone else in the room, especially him. And sure, judging by what he’d seen, she was indeed superior to the Shaman on all levels except physical. Especially in the ego department. She had to have an incredibly high opinion of herself to act so arrogant in front of someone she was asking for a favor. Even Fizzy wasn’t that self-absorbed… most of the time. Bottom line was that this Katya was far too big for her britches, and Tony lived to topple big things. He also wasn’t stupid, so he held his tongue for now.
“So these gremlins or whatever,” the golem changed the subject, “what do they have to do with the crystal?”
“They worship it. Or something. I don’t know why, but they interfere with my attempts to claim it with magic that controls magnetic fields. My machines, they cannot handle that. Their brains are too delicate.”
“Can’t you shield them against that?”
“I can, and I do. Out in the wild, it works great. But, the gremlins near the crystal use its power to increase their own, and their magic overpowers my defenses. Because of them I have been unable to advance my work for twenty five years now. I have tried everything to get rid of them! Nothing works! Not even radioactive waste!”
“Have you tried simply talking to them?” the giant asked.
Katya glared at him as if he had just asked her if she was sure that one plus one equaled two.
“Yes.”
“And? How did that play out?”
“Do you see me holding a giant power crystal? Debil…”
Katya took another mental step back and shook her head while rubbing her eyes.
“Look. Is very simple. Either get rid of the gremlins, or find me a way to counter their magnets. I don’t care how you do eet so long as I can get my crystal.”
“… And if we refuse?”
“Then I kick you out to fend for yourselves. Maybe let Feezy stay as an assistant. Or I just throw you in the gulag.”
Nobody else knew what a ‘gulag’ was, but it probably wasn’t a happy place.
“Either way, you’re not going home until I get what I want.”
“That settles that, then,” the Paladin nodded. “We’ll do it.”
“Fizzy!” Orrin protested.
“What?” she glared up at him. “It’s not like we have a choice here.”
“I know that, but… Never mind. You’re right.”
To call Katya’s claims dubious was putting it lightly. In all fairness, it could very well be that she was telling the truth and those so-called gremlins were indeed primitive monsters that merely looked like gnomes. It was just far more likely that she was making things up just to get her way, or otherwise wasn’t telling them everything. Whichever the case, Fizzy was right. These were her demands, and if Orrin wanted to see his loved ones again, he had to play along. There was no choice here. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps meeting with and speaking to these people would offer a resolution that wouldn’t necessitate hostilities. But, if that wasn’t an option, and push came to shove, would he be able to raise his staff against them?
The Priest quietly hoped that he’d never have to find out.
“Excellent.”
As for Katya, she looked quite pleased with herself.
“I will have some rooms prepared for you. We can talk more once you have rested.”
“Uhm, any chance we can go back and get something from the crater?” Fizzy asked.
“Depends. I can send a drone to pick up some things so long as they are not too heavy. What is it you left behind?”
“My multi-tool. Well, your multi-tool, actually. Hope you don’t mind, but I found one in the Vault and fixed it up.”
“Oh, that old thing. Is okay, you are most welcome to keep eet, devochka.”
“Thanks.”
“I would like to get my staff back as well,” the giant seized this opportunity. “My magic is considerably weaker without it.”
“Understood. I will make arrangements. Now, eat your fill and I will send Edward to get you once the rooms are ready.”
“… Edward? Who’s Edward?”
The golem had a momentary panic attack as that old trauma was dredged up yet again.
“The butler. You met him earlier.”
“Right. Okay. Thank you.”
Katya left the collection of weirdos to their devices and excused herself from the room. She walked briskly down the empty hallway, her high-heeled feet clacking softly against the synthetic carpeting and coat rustling quietly. She didn’t have to physically move like that. Technically it was many times faster to simply transfer her consciousness into another body on the opposite end of the building. Or she could just inhabit her mainframe and control everything from there. However, that was a surefire way to lose what humanity she had left. The dress, the artwork, the furniture, the food and drink - all of those existed solely to remind her that she was a person. It was vital that she kept her mind grounded and psyche intact while she waited for the opportunity to return home.
Achieving that was the sole reason she came to Tascuna. However, the challenge proved immensely more difficult than she anticipated. Almost immediately she realized it would take many years for her to achieve her goal, far more than she had left even after the Rank Up. Her solution was to build this synthetic avatar, so that her work could continue to fruition. That moment was close now. Oh, so very close. That strange golem would provide the key, the missing piece of the puzzle. Katya was sure of it. She entered her control room and rapidly typed something into a console. A three-dimensional holographic display materialized before her. It showed Fizzy’s construction in incredibly fine detail, from the tips of her pig-tails down to her very core, as captured by countless scanning devices.
And as she stared into that mechano-magical marvel, Ekaterina smiled genuinely for the first time in fifteen years.