“I still think this is a love of butter.”
“Uh…”
Fizzy’s minced words left Orrin rather confused as to what she was actually trying to say.
“She means a load of bullshit,” Minus clarified, “and I gotta agree.”
“Now, now,” Plus tried to calm the others. “While I agree the whole idea of destiny and fate is a bit far-fetched-”
“Completely bogus, you mean.”
“Sis!”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway. If you think about it, what is a prophecy if not just a type of prediction? Isn’t that what Colbert does every minute of every day?”
“Yarn, but his prolapses are based on faces and pajamas, not superpositions.”
“This is true,” Plus conceded, “but there’s still a chance these guys got it right, primitive as they are.”
“There’s also a choice they made the whale thigh up.”
At this point the giant gave up on trying to make sense of Fizzy’s words altogether. At least her other personalities didn’t seem to have an issue with her jumbled vocabulary, so he was able to keep track of the conversation for the most part. He personally agreed with Plus and felt that the main persona was a bit too harsh on the idea of divination. Then again, the Priest was rather biased since his people used to look to the stars for that very purpose, so her relentless skepticism felt like an indirect attack on his ancestors’ culture. Conversely, Tony was completely on Fizzy’s side, for he was also personally acquainted with a certain God of Gambling.
“I’m not denying that,” Plus continued. “I’m just saying we give them a chance. Remember what you-know-who likes to say - asking is free.”
“… Fins. I’ll hear what they half to salt.”
“That’s all I ask.”
All three of them fell silent, much to the relief of everyone else. The gnomes escorting the outsiders did not speak their language, but they were all quite unsettled by the living machine having a conversation with itself. Tony and Orrin were less bothered, but still somewhat unsettled by the idle chatter. They both knew that Fizzy was, to put it lightly, rather eccentric. However, learning about the damage to her core and that she now had yet another voice in her head, they couldn’t help but escalate their evaluation of the golem’s mental state to ‘completely unstable.’ For all they knew, the Paladin was one twitch away from going full psycho on the locals, which would end badly for all of them. At worst they’d all be killed, and at best their efforts to rally the gnomes against Katya would be laid to waste.
Indeed, the heavy escort surrounding the ‘aliens’ showed that the locals absolutely did not trust them. There were at least twenty guards in the group, each of them armed with enchanted weapons and improvised laser rifles. Unlike the simple hunters and scouts that Fizzy encountered during her first foray in the jungle, these people were proper soldiers with the training, equipment, and Levels to match. Honestly, if it was up to the golem, she wouldn’t have put herself in this position at all. However, Orrin insisted that the moon-gnomes were also in possession of a way back home and that they might be willing to send them all off just to get them off their moon. Fizzy severely doubted it would be that easy, but at this point she and her Parallels were getting desperate. They needed to get the core fixed, and there was no way to do that on Tascuna, so they went along with the guards despite their many, many protests.
Their trek through the teeming jungle lasted for a few hours, during which the Parallels had to refresh Fizzy’s memory regarding her condition and circumstances a total of eighteen times. Eventually the group started ascending the slope of the mountain that stood at its heart. Overgrown vegetation quickly gave way to bare rock covered in fungus and moss. They reached a tall tunnel that had clearly been carved into the terrain by skilled hands. Its rectangular shape and three-by-two-meter dimensions hinted it was of gnomish origins, as it appealed to their ingrained appreciation of efficient spacing and right-angled geometric shapes. Crossing through the long passageway brought them to a scene that Fizzy would find oddly familiar, if she still remembered the underground hive she incinerated earlier that day.
The mountain was effectively hollow, its interior a spacious spherical cavern lined with buildings and glowing crystals. Unlike the subterranean colony, the mud-and-clay structures on display were far more rectangular and oddly reminiscent of Steelhead’s blocky cityscape, if nowhere as towering. The top of the mountainous cavity was actually open, allowing a column of sunlight to shine through. The most prominent difference from the former hive had to do with the magically-charged stones. They weren’t crystallized flames. Their colorations consisted of various shades of dark purple that bordered on black, with sprawling, branching, tree-like shapes. If Fizzy was to liken them to a natural phenomenon, it would be frozen lightning. It wasn’t hard to imagine that this crystal was the material used to make that strange obelisk she discovered just before Tony’s disappearance.
Situated right smack in the middle of this clearly unnatural space was the object of Katya’s desires, as well the source of her troubles. It was a massive crystalline pillar that rose from the base of the cavern and extended all the way to the top, nearly poking out of the volcano-like opening. If one didn’t know any better, they might imagine this solidified lump of lightning had fallen from the heavens, piercing the summit and vaporizing a huge chunk of the mountain’s interior. Its dimensions rivaled that of the Original Artificer’s own magnum opus - the Spire that until very recently stood at the center of Dragunov. It also actively crackled and buzzed with power as jolts of electricity arced out to strike the dozens of lightning rods that the gnomes had built to contain and possibly harness its energy. It was simple to deduce that this was the origin of the interference that kept Katya’s automaton army at bay. The obelisks spread throughout the jungle were likely akin to relays that amplified and boosted the electromagnetic field given off by this… ‘mother crystal.’
Speaking of which, now that she was in direct line of sight with this thing, the mithril construct’s already damaged core began to malfunction even more.
“Fizzy? Fizzy, are you alright?”
Orrin was the first to notice the issue.
“Does- ucking loo- I’m alri-!?”
Her movements stuttering and joints seizing up at regular intervals made it profoundly difficult to put one foot in front of the other, to say nothing of her impeded speech.
“Oh! Of course, how silly of me.”
It was only now the giant remembered that the golem couldn’t bear the full brunt of the amplified interference they encountered before, and being this close to its source was probably even worse. Frankly speaking, the Priest wasn’t all that comfortable himself since the charged air made the hair on his neck and arms stand on end. Tony wasn’t spared either as his prosthetic limb just flat out stopped working. The gnomes seemed entirely unbothered, likely due to some magic item that immunized them from the overabundant static. Or maybe it was a natural resistance developed over countless generations of living in close proximity to the ultra-zappy pillar. Regardless, the golem was struggling more than ever, and she still had a ways to go before she reached her destination.
“Here, let me give you a hand.”
Orrin lowered his open palm as an invitation for Fizzy to take a seat so he could carry her. She hesitated to accept. The idea of getting handled like an invalid or an ornament didn’t sit well with her ego. However, constantly tripping over herself was far more humiliating, so she ultimately accepted the offer. That meant she had to cancel both Parallel Plot and Engine of Destruction, then cool off with Heat Exchange, much to the surprise and suspicion of the gnomes. The sudden gust of scaling steam put them on edge, but they calmed down a bit once it was clear this wasn’t an act of hostility. Now that she was cool enough to handle safely, Orrin hoisted the construct up on her shoulder and the procession continued, though everyone was clearly even more on edge. Ideally Fizzy would have warned them not to get their underwear in a twist, but this language barrier made that impossible. The worst part was that there were those that spoke Terrania’s common tongue. Unfortunately, the interpreters had gone on ahead to warn their superiors that they would be getting a very special visitor.
The messengers had clearly done their job given the state of the settlement. The sparsely paved streets were completely deserted aside from the soldiers and guards at nearly every turn. From her vantage point atop the giant’s shoulder, the golem could see many civilians peeking at her from windows and doorways. She was, for once, not exactly thrilled to be receiving this much attention, as she had a hunch it wasn’t the sort of awe and adoration that she was used to receiving. These meatbags were looking at her as a dangerous beast being paraded around, and they weren’t far off. Thankfully the golem wouldn’t have to endure their unwanted stares for long, as it took only a few minutes to reach the temple at the heart of the settlement.
Or at least, that’s what Fizzy was told this place was. It certainly didn’t look the part. Rather than a place of worship, it was much closer to a theater or other entertainment venue. There was a two-story structure of polished white stone that looked like a miniature mansion, a rectangular stage-like platform in front, and cemi-circular stands around it. It was difficult to tell what sort of capacity this seating had since it was presently empty, but it couldn’t have been more than a thousand gnomes. The golem, the giant, and the goblin were escorted down the main stairway and onto the aforementioned stage. As they stepped on it, a pair of familiar faces emerged from the building. They were the first natives that Fizzy encountered on this god-forsaken rock, so there was no way she’d fail to recognize them even in her addled state of mind. They stopped a few paces away from the outsiders.
“Me, Krum.”
The sword-wielding warrior spoke first, thumping the hilt of his weapon against his bug-hide shield.
“Me, Krak.”
The rifle-toting huntress was next, though she offered no gesture or salute other than a tiny nod.
“You, name.”
The guy pointed at the golem, though she didn’t answer right away. She took a moment to size them up and timed her response so it wouldn’t get distorted by the periodic stutters.
“… Fizzy.”
“I confess, I expected a more intimidating title.”
A third voice washed over the ‘temple’ ground, this one far more fluent than the others. Yet when the Paladin glanced around, she was unable to find anyone it could belong to.
“Down here, white one.”
And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a third gnome was standing in front of her, right behind the other two. This one appeared quite young, almost baby-faced. Curiously, he also had pale skin that was closer to the ones back home than these blue and purple moon-dwellers. His outfit could also be interpreted as trappings of power. Rather than leaves, wraps, and bug-bits, this guy was clothed in robes of soft cloth like silk and cotton. They were primarily white in color with golden trims around the sleeves and neck, and a simple cap resting on the guy’s bald scalp. His face looked a bit strange proportion-wise, though. The eyes, ears, and nose were almost comically large, like a caricature of a gnome.
“Who, are, you?” the golem asked, her tone measured.
“I am Tizoc, and I am the prophet who foresaw your arrival.”
“Ugh,” Fizzy groaned. “Right, off, the, bat, with, this, shit.”
“I’m apologizing. Can you repeat? I am not perfect with your tongue.”
“De boss be sayin’ she don’t buy your prophecies,” Tony butted in. “I’m with her, by the way. Is just imagination.”
“I know your opinion. I understand why you think like that with all… the confusion of our meeting.”
“Heh. Confusion. Right. Dat’s one way to put it.”
“Tony? Know, this, guy?”
“Yeah. He had his brats capture me ‘cuz of dis mumbo jumbo.”
Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.
He gestured at Krak and Krum as he said that, who clearly didn’t appreciate his tone of voice.
“Excuse me, Master Tizoc?” Orrin intervened. “Might I suggest you enlighten all of us here as to the contents of your prophecy, so that we can better understand what this is all about.”
“Of course. One moment.”
The gnome closed his eyes, placed a hand upon his chest, and quietly cleared his throat as he prepared to deliver his line.
“An old foe in a new form will descend from the world above. Accept not the open right, for it brings only fire and steel that end life.”
He then turned slightly to the right, raising his other hand to the sky while keeping his eyes shut.
“A new friend in an old form will rise from the world below. Reject not the cursed left, for it wields the light and gold that bring growth.”
Tizoc then relaxed his stance and opened his eyes, his face returning to the calm smile he had prior.
“As you have just heard, it is a prophecy in two parts. The first talks about Katya, who aims to choke the life out of our world for her own goals. It guided us to reject her offer of cooperation, and time has proven this to be the right decision. The second part is a relatively recent divination that speaks of the one who shall save us from this evil. I believe this is you, noble Fizzy.”
The golem didn’t say anything, but her face practically oozed doubt.
“Heh,” Tony chuckled dryly. ”Told me de same thing, but all of a sudden you de savior now. Funny how dat works, no?”
“Uh, huh.”
The Paladin didn’t need to hear that to tell this guy was full of it. Everything about this was suspect at best, and ludicrous at worst. She had so many questions that she honestly didn’t know where to start. Nor was she keen to engage this self-delusional meatbag in conversation. That wasn’t to say she didn’t see where he was coming from. The whole thing about fire and steel certainly encapsulated Katya’s ‘foreign policy,’ and the bit about a cursed left could arguably point to both her and Tony. The hob had a clearly unnatural prosthetic limb, and her own left arm was technically a cursed Artifact. She then recalled the ancient murals she encountered in that pyramid, the ones depicting the gnomes fighting against an army of machines. Maybe that somehow tied into the whole part about friends, foes, and forms. What about the gold and light? Did it refer to her radiant frame? Mithril was known as ‘white gold’ after all.
Fizzy took a mental step back before she fell any further into that rabbit hole. That sort of rationalization and confirmation bias was how gullible idiots convinced themselves that ‘prophecies’ worked. Anyone could come up with a bunch of vague, cryptic bullshit, and then look for persons, places, or events that kind of fit their ramblings. Sure, as Plus pointed out earlier, the God of Chance could make scarily accurate predictions, but those were completely different. His projections were derived from incomprehensibly complicated models that use countless parameters and factors to determine the most likely outcome. It was a scientific process built on hard numbers, not some quack with a screw loose who took wild shots in the dark and then claimed that whatever they hit was their intended target from the start. Fizzy knew that was how these charlatans operated from personal experience. Over the past several months she had visited or read up on a number of so-called soothsayers and fortune tellers whenever the opportunity presented herself. She did this because, as a devout Champion of Chaos, she took issue with the idea that anyone could claim to know the future when even Jeff didn’t, not truly.
And so she decided to ask Tizoc the same question she threw at those other charlatans.
“If, you, knew, all, this, then, why, did, you, not, stop, it?”
Her voice lacked her usual bite since she had to work around the interference, but her point had been communicated clearly.
“This is not for debate. Focus on the present.”
The gnome in charge didn’t like the challenge to his ability and authority so much that he evaded the question entirely.
“I am told you gave our enemy a way to invade our home in exchange for returning to yours. We are still alive, and you are still here, so does that mean your deal… broke?”
“Could, say, that,” she crossed her arms.
“Want to work with us, then? I understand you may not wish to trust the same promise of return, but I don’t ask much. What I want most is a counter for this thing you made for the enemy.”
“And, if, I, decline?”
“Then we will send you back anyway. If you will not help, it is best you are not here. Your presence is too risky.”
“Risky? How?”
She clearly wasn’t a threat to these guys. At least, not one they couldn’t deal with, what with that giant power crystal hampering her movements. She’d certainly go down fighting if it came to it and would absolutely inflict all the damage and casualties she could muster, but something told her this wasn’t what Tizoc was talking about.
“We do not want you in enemy control.”
Fizzy turned her head to glare hard at Orrin, upon whose shoulder she was still perched.
“What?” he asked.
“Loud, mouth.”
It was obvious he spilled the beans about the construct’s catastrophic falling out with Katya, and she didn’t like people knowing about her moment of weakness.
“I promise you, I had no ill intentions,” the Priest reassured her. “Katya tried to enslave you, and nobody here wants that to happen. Also, is it me or are you suddenly more coherent than you were before?”
Indeed, though the dense electromagnetic waves forced her to speak in that disjointed manner lest she stutter, her words were no longer jumbled. Furthermore, the golem remained lucid and aware of her circumstances without Plus or Minus having to remind her where she was and what she was doing. Fizzy herself apparently hadn’t noticed this as she looked around in confusion, her eyes blinking rapidly.
“You, are, right. Very, curious.”
The Artificer fell silent, her mind shifting into high gear as it attempted to make sense of this phenomenon. Perhaps her recent mental issues weren’t caused by the physical damage to her core. Yes, there was a piece missing and she unquestionably had that nasty Crippled status, but whatever Katya’s device did to control her in the first place had nothing to do with her internal mechanisms. Given the excuse she used to convince the golem to put it on, it likely altered her internal mana circulation in a way that suppressed her personality. When Plus and Minus pulled it off, they must have unintentionally disturbed the delicate flow it had tapped into, like yanking a barbed arrowhead out of a flesh wound.
Of course, all of this was pure conjecture and guesswork. Fizzy wasn’t nearly well-versed in golem forging or the arcane to know for sure what exactly was going on. However, it was an indisputable fact that staying here allowed her to retain her wits in exchange for hampering her motions. It was a trade off she found worthwhile, because now she could fully utilize her greatest asset to science the shit out of the situation and figure out a temporary treatment for her condition. She felt confident that, with some time and a few resources, she could isolate, replicate, and refine whatever emissions were stabilizing her mental state. It wouldn’t be a cure, but it would buy her the time she needed to find one.
“Tizoc. I, have, an, offer.”
“I am listening.”
“Do, you, have, scrap, or, parts?”
“From fallen machines?”
“Yes.”
“We do.”
“How, much?”
“… Plenty for our needs. Why do you ask?”
“I, want, some, so, I, can, study, that,” she pointed at the central crystal pillar. “Once, I have, what, I need, I will, help, you.”
“Ah. Hmm…”
The gnome stroked his chin as he considered it, though Krum and Krak weren’t too thrilled. They turned to him and briefly argued about something in their native tongue. Fizzy didn’t know what they said, but it seemed to both surprise and upset the man.
“Is this true, white one? Did you destroy the Heart of Fire?”
“Uh…”
Did we? she asked internally.
“Only if he’s talking about the big crystal we blew up earlier,” Plus replied.
Wait, what crystal?
“It was a lot like this one, really big and glowy and in a huge cave, but less lightning and more heat. Like, a LOT more heat.”
So, why did we blow it up?
“Long story. We all agreed it was a good idea at the time, though.”
“No we didn’t!” Minus yelled. “I told you guys that thing was gonna backfire on us! I said it, like, six times! But did you listen? Of course, not!” she continued ranting. “Why pay attention to the newbie when all she’s trying to keep our busted body intact?! And now we’re missing, among other things, half our face! Oh, and we now know what it’s like to be flushed like a steamy turd.”
“Well? Did you?”
Tizoc demanded an answer from the outwardly silent golem halfway during that tirade. By the sound of it, the answer to his question was a resounding ‘yes,’ which wasn’t ideal. Whatever this Heart of Fire was, it seemed like a big deal to the locals’ leader. He probably wouldn’t be too pleased if Fizzy admitted that she demolished it. However, those two seemed to know that she did, so she figured it was pointless to deny it. She could twist things around a bit, at least.
“It, seems, so,” she finally said. “But, not, by, choice. My, hand, was, forced.”
Tizoc squinted hard for a few moments.
“If you will cooperate after, I will allow your study. However, you will be under guard. Any attempt to damage or destroy the Heart of Light will be answered with force.”
“That’s, fine. I don’t, even, need, to, touch, it.”
“Very well. Krum?”
“Hn?”
“Show the thing to the inner altar,” he said in moon-speak. “Watch it closely. Terminate it the instant it does anything suspicious, but not before.”
“If that is your will, Skyseer.”
“It is.”
“What about me?” Krak asked. “Should I keep my distance and provide support if things go sour?”
“That would be wise. But, do not hit the Heart with your weapon. Though it is much more stable than the Heart of Fire, I would not take chances.”
“Understood, Skyseer. We will not fail.”
Under normal circumstances, the two of them stood no chance against the golem. Their first bout proved she was just far too tough for them to inflict any meaningful damage. However, down here they had the home turf advantage and strength in numbers. Furthermore, the construct’s explosive misadventure had stripped off several patches of her armored plating, exposing a number of weak spots for the sharpshooting huntress to exploit. Hearing her confident declaration, Tizoc smiled and turned back to the golem.
“Krum will guide you to a safe place where you can observe all you like.”
“Excellent,” Fizzy nodded. “Orrin, can, you, come, with?”
She didn’t want to say it, but she’d rather not stutter-walk there herself if she could avoid it.
“Of course. It is the least I could do.”
The giant felt partially responsible for the golem’s current condition since it was his failure to stop Katya that placed her in it, so his guilt compelled him to play along. Besides, it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do. His relative uselessness outside of combat situations remained the same despite the change of allegiance.
“Tony. You, too.”
“Nah, I don’t think so.”
The hobgoblin was less inclined to play along, however.
“You, what?”
“See, I got a good thing going here. I get to lead raids on de white bitch, and dey give me all de grub and drink I want. Is good deal. Not risking it for your crazy experiments.”
“Did, you, forget, you, are, mine?” she bluntly asked.
“What, dis old thing?”
He hooked a thumb under the obedience collar with a cocky grin.
“It hasn’t been on for a long, long time. You got no power over me.”
Orrin looked quite surprised by this revelation, but Fizzy didn’t even flinch. She was, in fact, aware that the collar had been offline right from the start. She knew this because the item’s enchantments mentally updated her of its status the instant Tony triggered it, yet when she next saw the hob he still had his head. The golem had no idea how the crafty Shaman had done this, but she didn’t need to know. All she cared about was that he continued to follow her orders. Of course, she was aware that he intended to rebel eventually, otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered to keep up pretenses. And now that he deemed it fit to drop the act, Fizzy would too.
“Six, nine, Delta, Victor, Hotel, one.”
Upon detecting that its owner had uttered the correct activation sequence, the obedience collar buzzed back to life, and mentally notified its wearer to remove his thumb from the device under threat of immediate decapitation. Tony’s hand plummeted faster than a golem skydiving without a parachute, as did his mood.
“You, were, saying?” Fizzy smirked.
“… Yes, boss,” he snarled. “Whatever you say, boss.”
“Good, dog.”
“Ha! Haha!” Orrin chuckled. “Better luck next time, my friend.”
He patted the greenskin on the back hard enough to make him stumble forward. It was all in good fun, but the motion did elicit some unflattering grumblings from the hobgoblin.
“Okay, Krum. Lead, on.”
The gnome in question shook his head with a snort of laughter, then beckoned the outsiders to follow. As he led them into the building and out the back, Fizzy’s thoughts inevitably drifted back to how preposterous this prophecy business was. This Tizoc character was either an idiot or self-delusional to think he was on par with the actual God of Unlikelihoods. The Paladin had half a mind to smite him where he stood for his blasphemous hubris, but she decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. Social ramifications aside, she doubted whether she’d actually succeed. Unless Fizzy missed her guess, those odd facial proportions of his indicated that he was a welch - a gnome Ranker. In other words he had at least one Level 100 Job with an associated Ultimate, and a racial Skill that granted him brief bouts of invisibility. That second bit would certainly explain how he snuck up on her earlier. Regardless, Fizzy sorely did not want to validate his self-delusions by actually fulfilling his prophecy, and had half a mind to sabotage these meatbags just to prove her point. She probably would follow through if not for the interference field, the brain damage, the lack of a way home, and the traitorous mecha-bitch that tried to rob her of her free will. And, of course, there was also the matter of a certain somebox that she wanted to reunite with.
Ultimately the golem decided she had enough on her plate at the moment and put off the potential squashing of Tizoc until after all that other stuff had been dealt with.
Of course, she might have a completely different opinion of the welch if she found out that the second half of that prophecy had been received about six months ago - mere minutes after a certain god made a certain deal with a certain box.